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Victim of Mall Shooting Determined Not to Die in Yankee CandleThe Onion posted:"I remember thinking 'This is it, I'm going to die,'" the 34-year-old contractor said from his bed at Buffalo General Hospital, where he is still under observation after sustaining three gunshot wounds, including one that left a bullet lodged in his spine. "Then I looked around at where I was and told myself there was no way in hell I was going to let them find me curled up behind a floor display of Midnight Jasmine Housewarmer jar candles."
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Mar 15, 2012 04:52
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Dracula Factory posted:But you forgot the best one! Bounced Joe Biden Check Still Taped Up In Delaware Liquor Store  "Party Supplies" gets me every time.
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Mar 17, 2012 04:07
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Henchman of Santa posted:Get Out of My Face is amazing if you've watched even five minutes of Pardon the Interruption. You also have to watch it multiple times to get all of the hilarious stuff on the bottom. My personal favorite is the one centered around Mark Sanchez injuring his pussy finger.  "Could miss up to 5 parties" is golden.
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Mar 20, 2012 05:13
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From High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos
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Apr 22, 2012 04:46
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Obama: 'Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness' "'My fellow Americans and godless infidels, I command you to join me as we cast an endless pall of far-left evil across the hills and valleys of our nation!' Obama bellowed from the stage, as thousands in attendance moaned in compliance and gyrated their hips and groins in a lascivious dance." Literally Unbelievable is going to explode.
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Sep 7, 2012 03:35
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:This is funnier than the actual article. "I told you all he was bad but you said I was just being racist." Priceless.
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Sep 11, 2012 03:47
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Biden Implores Obama To 'Rub One Out' Before Debate 'Don't Want Pussy On The Mind Out There,' Reports Vice President
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Oct 4, 2012 01:09
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Romney: 'This Is Why They Call Me Turnaround Mitty From Comeback City' "There were many who doubted me, but everyone on the Nitty-Gritty Mitty Committee knew that Turnaround Mitty from Comeback City would one day be sitting pretty."
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Oct 9, 2012 00:32
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