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Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
If the Empire bitching's over i apologise, but i installed it for the first time last night having owned it for a while. I'm so disappointed, the scale is awesome and i love the idea of Europe, India and North America all playing a part in the same game. I miss the size from Medieval 2 actually, not that the tighter focus of recent games is a bad thing. Anyway i started as Sweden, began stomping Denmark and the battles were so unengaging i lost all interest. Also the campaign map text was all blurry and none of the rumoured fixes did anything.

On the other hand with Napoleon, well. I never took much interest in that part of history, i liked my choppy medieval games and my tanks and so on but this really helped me visualise how bloody that era was. :gonk: I like to pause from time to time and just zip around the ground eyeing the combat, the combat often enough being swathes of men walking into rows upon rows of gigantic shotguns.

I've played everything from Medieval 2 onwards now, i'm thinking about going back and picking up Rome to see what all the fuss was about.

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Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Installing Roma Surrectum 2's proving to be a bit of a bitch, it's installed just fine but still gives me an error. I'm probably going to just reinstall Kingdoms instead.

I miss the hugely overpopulated unit rosters for every faction. :unsmith: I liked the variety regardless of whether it was hugely imbalanced/units were slight reskins. Shogun 2's done a great job expanding on the vanilla's unit variety.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Been playing Europa Barbarorum for the first time, never even tried vanilla Rome. Things are very slow going so far, i've played quite a while and only just took over all of Italy + islands as Rome, and invaded what i think is Carthage in North Africa (my ancient history is awful). I can't help but mentally categorise all the bizarre faction names into ancient French, ancient Germans etc. And yes as a pop-history barbarian I was sad that the cool Lora Segmenta (?) armour Romans are famous for doesn't seem to be in the mod for accuracy purposes.

The game is awesome though, and it's bizarre how the AI seems significantly better than some later titles.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

euphronius posted:

I love how there is graffiti on the wall of the tower in the left foreground.

Looks like there are people right up in the top of the tower too.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Pharoahs throwing flaming butts from dog-drawn chariots would make an excellent peak to the series.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
*turns to 20 men out of a vast armada* FORWAAAAAAARD *continues to sail serenely onward for ten minutes*

Only after the commander gives the overall strategy of kill everyone show no mercy of course. Thank you sir! I'll put it on the next last minute briefing agenda!

Not a sperg honest, war game drama just gets really goofy sometimes. I can't wait to get my hands on this, I may need to fire up Medieval 2 for vast elephant hordes in anticipation.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Straight up Total Warhammer would be a little too good, but I feel hope.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Is that the Call of Warhammer mod? I'd like to check it out.

It can be such a pain in the rear end trying out really well established mods for Total War, their forums are usually clear as mud for what you actually need to get it from scratch. If a mod requires Kingdoms, is it enough to have Kingdoms standalone is installed or should I take it as a given that I need vanilla Medieval as well?

Warhammer fantasy is pretty generic, but I've kept a soft spot for it because it's very self aware that it's a mishmash of nerds favourite things. It's a fair bit more goofy than 40K as well (which is goofy enough).

e: If anyone else hadn't heard of Call of Warhammer and wanted to check it out it turns out the easiest way to actually get the most recent version of the mod lies in their Bug Report & Technical Help forum. :downs:

Captain Diarrhoea fucked around with this message at 13:17 on Dec 11, 2012

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
I wonder what shape the game would take if it was actually a Total War title. I can't see diplomacy transferring straight over to Warhammer, since thematically a lot of factions are opposed. In fact, even factions that fall roughly on the 'good' side of the spectrum keep to themselves if not at war don't they?

Skaven should be included if only for their gigantic bell of doom. Hell they should go the whole hog and add a subterannean layer to the campaign map a la Age of Wonders and fill it with rats, dwarves and fiends.

Captain Diarrhoea fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Dec 11, 2012

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Cantorsdust posted:

Sounds like the regular nonexistent Total War diplomacy to me!

There's no reason an enterprising Orc shouldn't be able to just buy the Empire.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
I got Call of Warhammer and installed and all up to date, I've been checking the forums after noticing a few things and it's full of spawn scripts though. I don't really mind stacks of beastmen appearing from thin air outside my borders but taking their territories doesn't remove the spawn locations. Cue stacks spawning every few turns outside your towns. It would only take the slightest tweaks on the modders behalf to turn the idea from crappiness into a lore-friendly challenge but I guess they've missed it.

Otherwise the mod is pretty impressive so far.

Captain Diarrhoea fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Dec 11, 2012

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Does anyone have a link/torrent for the latest full Stainless Steel release that isn't long dead/has a poo poo downspeed, I'd like to give it a shot but it's a pain finding it.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Well I started a Stainless Steel early era campaign as Scotland, invaded England like I had ants in my pants and got excommunicated, what do I care gently caress you Pope.

Maybe I've been away from M2 too long, maybe it's Stainless Steel. But what happened to heretics. :stare:

Was it always this loving retarded? I have many fond memories of heretics marching from my cities in legions, and I would have to devote some resources to stamping this out with varying success. Not like this time, where they are invincible gods that convert every single priest, bishop and cardinal to heresy with their maximum piety. Even the lovely priests with no piety were turned into heresy bombs. They're overrunning the British Isles. The inquisition are all over the place and have not made any attempt to kill a heretic forever, preferring instead to spend their assignment hobbling around like someone tread on their balls.

I'm pretty sure it's SS. :eng99:

e: Yeah I'll try ride it out until I can get assassins, there's a weaker heretics mod that is hopefully save game compatible otherwise.

Captain Diarrhoea fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Jan 14, 2013

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
The flood of heretics in my Scotland campaign came too early for assassins, in the end I installed a weaker heretics submod and save scummed until the generation of turboheretics were mostly burned, the ones that followed after were normally about 3 - 5 piety which is enough but not unmanageable. I don't really feel bad since the strong heretics seem to have been an accident anyway.

Norway got a huge hard on for naval invasion for some reason and I had to start sinking doom stacks in the sea repeatedly between the Pope's cease hostilites (die Scotland die) commands. Eventually I counter invaded and destroy Kingdom of Norway in two pretty sweet battles, one where I smashed one army and had to wheel round at the last second to fight a second one. The rest turned independent, so I'm guessing that if the royal family is wiped then so is the faction? I don't recall that being the case when I played before, but then maybe there have always been generals to promote.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

I get pretty lazy on letting those tiny rebel armies live, too. They never seem to really do anything anyway. Does having one in your territory reduce your income?

I thought they caused unrest in a territory but having just checked seems like I may be wrong. I've had English rebels sitting near York for like 40 turns, I use them as a kind of training dummy for assassins.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Despite bitching out SS it is a pretty superb mod, I didn't enjoy M2 half as much before. Everyone hates my guts for being an imperialist pig so diplomacy has mostly gone out the window, my only ally was France who rolled over and joined Genoa against me. Europe's in a kind of multicultural holocaust at the moment, I must have taken too long stepping in so there are weird Italian empires and Lithuanian colonies where there shouldn't be. :colbert:

I've become much less lazy in battles as well now that the AI don't just meander indecisively in arrow range, there have been some great 2v1 situations that I've clutched with mad dashes of knights all over the map. The recruitment system has added a lot to the overall strategy, I think I checked a realism option that makes you really value your homegrown knights and gives a great incentive to actually use/discard mercenaries for certain campaigns.

On a barely related note I'd like to share one of history's most embarassing deaths, that of one Henry de Bohun, who allegedly took a swipe at the King of Scotland and made an arse of it within walking distance of where I'm sitting.

Topped by his uncle Humphrey whose death certificate today might have read Cause of Death: Pike to anus.

Captain Diarrhoea fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Jan 16, 2013

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Rabhadh posted:

Getting my balls crushed by France in my current SS 6.4 game as the Danes, every victory of mine is hard fought and well earned :allears:

No kidding, I'm in a tough war against the Fatimids and Seljuks as the Crusader States just now. SS forges true armchair generals.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Developer wants to include faction from their country, those nationalists!

Throwing my hat in (plain hat no shako) on the faction DLC, although I won't mind much if there's more effort than a recolour and stat change.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
I live near a little known wall. :smug:

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

ReV VAdAUL posted:

Offa's Dyke?

Better known than that but less known than the great wall of China. :colbert:

I need to get back to Roma Surrectum before this comes out.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Does the AI get any income bonuses or helpful spawns in Stainless Steel? Genuinely asking, I'm not enjoying it any less.

But gently caress it's relentless, I'm still battling the Seljuks and Fatimids in my Crusader States campaign. I've pretty much won massive battle after massive battle since what feels like the dawn of time, I've managed to expand at a glacial pace and actually taken all the Fatimid provinces, in addition to knifing every single general and family member and they're STILL coming out of the woodwork with stacks from the one remaining town. And all this while fending off the Turks in the north, I've taken one or two of their castles but mostly it's been a defensive game on that front. Not to mention that, almost as if in retaliation for my sneaky crusades, somebody called a Jihad on Jerusalem and Moorish doomstacks are besieging it. Jerusalem holds though. :smuggo:

So is the endless horde financed and built like mine or does it get a helping hand? This game needs a grand tally of the bodies your empire is built on.

While I'm asking I'm sure I've seen failed Jihads before. What's the criteria? I've biffed plenty of the armies.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
What am I missing with merchants in M2/SS? When I park them on resources what little ability they started with always drops to zero and they get a load of bad traits. Literally one in ten will keep their ability and continue to generate a whopping 26 florins per turn or something like that until they die, or are eaten by one of the AIs super merchants. There was a kind of funny anomaly where every nation sent dozens of merchants into my barren Kingdom of Norway like it was the new USA for a while.

My combined income with a monopoly on resources in my territory and max cap of merchants comes to about 350. Should I forget about them?

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Promontory posted:

Medieval 2 is not very good at telling you about merchants.

Thanks for the replies, I've had M2 for years and never had a loving clue about any of that.

The true line of sight will add a great amount of depth for such an easy tweak, scouts will become a lot more than light cavalry. It might be over reaching but improving the system to accomodate infiltrators would be cool, and would mesh quite well.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
The Germans are all very well and good but please, please can there be a recruitable Asterix & Obelix mercenary unit.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Anyone ever make use of schiltroms in M2? It seems like there's never a point, as 90% of my battles are fought with an enveloping line anyway.

My Norway campaign has ground to an embarassing halt as, together, we seem to have built a utopian Europe that is one gigantic alliance block. I've ended up invading Novgorod instead just to see how long this will go on if left alone. The only active war is the Turks and Byzantines, the global political climate seems to say who cares if the Orthodox are getting jumped.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Rabhadh posted:

Are you playing SS? If so, which AI did you choose?

The 'middle of the road' one. I'd committed myself to keeping a great reputation for once, it's probably high enough now that I can exterminate some allies and still patch things up. One cool thing about the AI is that despite being bankrupt, they will still buy a ceasefire with me for like 30,000 florins.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Maybe the developers should have a day out all-terrain LARPing to inspire them.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Yeah I agree, the biggest issue with S2's Realm Divide is that it largely threw a massive part of the campaign mechanics out the window. It will be cool to explore if it's an internal faction thing, but I'd also like that it could be avoidable through shrewd play - even if it means the player has to make other tough choices, like purging generals, for example. It would get very samey when players on subsequent playthroughs were always gearing up for the predictable civil war. I trust the developers though, they seem to be refining just about everything.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Seems completely unimportant to me, although does this mean there won't be seasons?

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Ray and Shirley posted:

Realism junkies have nothing better to whine about than movement and seasons in a Total War title?

Seasons are nice aesthetically, that's all. Don't get a stick up your rear end about it. They've been in for quite a while so it'd be a weird step back graphically for them to cut them, although I guess it would reduce their workload somewhat. And I suppose 'realism junkies' might complain about naked war mens fighting in snow or something.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
To be fair we have like not even 80 pages of one thread of Total War discussion by largely the same posters. :v:

I have never seen the glory of flaming pigs but from reading these threads I seem to be in for a treat!

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Maybe we'll have our teeth around Rome 2 by the time the Warhammer title is brewing. :)

Warm thoughts.

e: Could be worse, MOBA could have been the Warhammer title

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

SHISHKABOB posted:

Why would you ever do that.

Didn't they say they'd like to emphasise persistent units even more as well? I can't see anybody entrusting their beloved 3rd Legion 'G4vlSLAYAZ' to the hands of some retarded AI.

It's early days yet but when this does come out, is everybody going to go straight to Rome for their first playthrough?

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Fizzil posted:

a waste of slot like the iceni :colbert:

How dare you. :colbert: The Iceni have by far the coolest screenshot.

I've always thought that, in popular culture, the Roman occupation of Britain was one of the more prominent stories from Roman history. Not that it makes much sense other than some British people probably wrote some books.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

SeanBeansShako posted:

But what kind of variety did people want/were expecting for the gun powder era games?

Where were his majesty's Fightin' Cobras, famed for their cold blooded bayonets?

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Everything about that sounds pretty awesome, and the army stances alone sounds like they will add miles to the strategy of the campaign.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
Were there already morale penalties for ambushed armies in previous TW games, or is that new to R2?

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Shorter Than Some posted:

Pretty sure it's new, as far as I know ambushes just changed deployment unless commanders had +to ambush stats.

Sounds pretty cool then, it'll be interesting to see how viable these become. To be honest ambushes have never had a role in any of my campaigns, aside from walking into the occasional hiding AI who never capitalises on them.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011
I imagine Steam haters to be like Japanese holdouts, it's a trick I won't surrender to your malware. :argh:

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Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011

Chomp8645 posted:

I really wish they would drop this stupid bullshit.

Come on it's fun.*

*I never used the free aim feature in FotS

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