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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
That reminds of one thing that I was meaning to post. Now that we've completed Season 7, I present to you:

:siren:The Complete Numerical History of the Super-League: Regular Season Edition :siren:

This is a complete record of every Super-League team's regular season win-loss records, season-by-season. Koop maintained these records previously, but I've updated them through the end of SLVII.

A record in bold indicates that the team made the playoffs that season.

Congratulations to the Cultists on achieving the highest winning percentage ever for a new comer to the league. As Smasher noted in the last update, the Bobbleheads broke the record for most wins in a season with 108. The Luna Landers get the infamous achievement of being the only team in league history to win 100 games and not make the playoffs. As a warning to those of you participating in the pick-em, despite hitting over 200 HRs, the Idaho Potatoes had the second lowest winning percentage in league history. Looking at the all-time win count totals, don't expect anyone to ever catch the Finger-Bangers, Bobbleheads, and Eazy Ws in those counts. Even to break onto that list, the Oranges and Unicorns (who are closest of the active teams) will need another season to catch the Sonics. However, both teams will have to escape from the mid rounds of the Gauntlet to guarantee another season of life.


TEAMS NEW IN SLI

Baltimore Blind Men, SLI-SLII: 162-154, .513 (84-70, 78-84)
Boston Crabs(I), SLI-SLII: 157-159 .497 (79-75, 78-84)
Boston Skyhawks, SLI-SLIV: 383-257, .598 (92-62, 98-64, 96-66, 97-65)
Chicago Blood Sox, SLI-SLIII: 271-208, .566 (84-70, 101-61, 86-77)
Chicago/Los Angeles Bobbleheads, SLI-SLVII: 615-512, .546 (85-69, 80-82, 87-76, 78-84, 91-71, 86-76, 108-54)
Cleveland Unicorns(I), SLI: 70-84, .455
California Unspecifieds, SLI: 65-89, .422
Detroit Switchblades, SLI-SLII: 161-155, .509 (77-77, 84-78)
East St. Louis Electrics, SLI: 62-92, .402
Framingham Fillies, SLI-SLIII: 260-218, .544 (96-58, 88-74, 76-86)
Great Googly-Mooglies, SLI, SLVII: 169-147, .535 (94-60, 75-87)
Juneau Juggernauts, SLI-SLIV, SLVI-SLVII: 493-472, .511 (75-79, 79-83, 88-74, 91-71, 86-77, 74-88)
Newport Sharks(I), SLI: 46-108, .299
New New York Fightin' Mongooses, SLI: 73-81, .474
New York/Fukuoka Finger-Bangers, SLI-SLVII: 633-493, .562 (76-78, 93-69, 98-64, 88-74, 90-72, 96-66, 92-70)
San Francisco Clues, SLI: 61-93, .396
San Juan Senadores, SLI-SLII: 148-168, .467 (87-67, 61-101)
South L.A./South Bolton Eazy W's, SLI-SLVII: 593-535, .526 (80-74, 87-75, 85-78, 92-71, 71-91, 79-83, 99-63)

TEAMS NEW IN SLII

Anchorage Penguins, SLII: 60-102, .370
Brooklyn Bombers, SLII: 59-103, .364
Des Moines Dervishes(I), SLII: 78-84, .481
Detroit Riots, SLII-SLIII: 164-161, .506 (89-74, 75-87)
Jerk City Philosophers, SLII: 68-94, .420
Kolkata Indians, SLII: 77-85, .475
Mid-Northern Suicides, SLII: 78-84, .481
Milwaukee Drinkers, SLII-SLIII: 165-159, .509 (82-80, 83-79)
Petaluma Goose-Eggs, SLII: 79-83, .488
Providence Murderbots, SLII-SLV: 352-297, .542 (90-73, 86-76, 92-70, 84-78)
Queens Mercuries, SLII-SLIII: 160-164, .494 (83-79, 77-85)
Seattle SuperSonics, SLII-SLVI: 442-370, .544 (79-83, 84-79, 91-72, 104-58, 84-78)
Virginia City Vigiliantes, SLII-SLIII: 174-150, .537 (96-66, 78-84)

TEAMS NEW IN SLIII

Atlantis Aquaman, SLIII-SLIV: 162-162, .500 (81-81, 81-81)
Cleveland Unicorns(II), SLIII-SLVII: 436-374, .538 (94-68, 93-69, 85-77, 91-71, 73-89)
Atlantis Unspecifieds, SLIII: 72-90, .444
Greater Googly-Mooglies, SLIII: 69-93, .426
Honolulu Lava Flows, SLIII-SLIV: 149-175, .460 (87-75, 62-100)
Kodak Googles, SLIII: 69-93, .426
Mudville Masochists, SLIII: 81-81, .500
Newport Sharks(II), SLIII: 67-95, .414
Omaha Forgettables, SLIII: 73-89, .451
Oyster Cult Blues, SLIII-SLIV: 151-173, .466 (76-86, 75-87)
San Diego Freewheelers, SLIII: 78-84, .481

TEAMS NEW IN SLIV

Boston Crabs(II), SLIV: 81-81, .500
Cleveland Communists, SLIV: 70-92, .432
Deadwood Cutthroats, SLIV: 81-81, .500
Des Moines Dervishes(II), SLIV: 69-93, .426
Detroit Original Riots, SLIV: 71-91, .438
EV-IL Corp. Villains, SLIV: 76-86, .469
Florida Oranges, SLIV-SLVII: 351-297, .542 (90-72, 93-69, 92-70, 76-86)
Gander Doppel-Bangers, SLIV-SLV: 194-130, .599 (105-57, 89-73)
Greenbrier Orchids, SLIV-SLV: 146-178, .451 (77-85, 69-93)
Jackson Jerks of Mississippi, SLIV: 60-102, .370
Leprechauns, SLIV-SLV: 162-162, .500 (84-78, 78-84)
New Orleans Hurricanes, SLIV: 73-89, .451
Seattle Homers, SLIV: 68-94, .420

TEAMS NEW IN SLV

Burma Imperialists, SLV-SLVII: 261-225, .537 (82-80, 87-75, 92-70)
Chicago Dinger Machines, SLV: 83-79, .512
Cologne Emperors, SLV-SLVII: 239-247, .492 (82-80, 80-82, 77-85)
Dorchester Phantoms, SLV-SLVI: 152-172, .469 (80-82, 72-90)
Falmouth Clippers, SLV: 66-96, .407
Idaho Potatoes, SLV: 79-83, .488
London Calling, SLV: 74-88, .457
Newport Sharks (III), SLV-SLVI: 173-152, .532 (86-76, 87-76)
Omaha Forgettables (II), SLV: 79-83, .488
Paris Postmodernists, SLV: 77-85, .475
Rockford Losers, SLV-SLVII: 285-201, .586 (87-75, 100-62, 98-64)
Silicon Valley Wanders, SLV: 78-84, .481
Angel Grove Power Rangers, SLV: 77-85, .475
Stevie Mitch Specials, SLV: 60-102, .370

TEAMS NEW IN SLVI

Atlantis Aquamen (II), SLVI: 74-89, .457
Boston Crabs (III), SLVI: 62-100, .383
Brooklyn Bronies, SLVI: 59-103, .364
Coahuila Comancheros, SLVI-SLVII: 163-161, .503 (88-74, 75-87)
Dubai Dervishes, SLVI-SLVII: 187-137, .577 (93-69, 94-68)
Finger Lakes Phoenixes, SLVI-SLVII: 175-149, .540 (85-77, 90-72)
Free Country Fhqwhgads, SLVI: 64-98, .395
Hill Valley Biffs, SLVI: 56-106, .346
Luna Landers, SLVI-SLVII: 190-134, .586 (90-72, 100-62)
Motor City Bengals, SLVI: 76-86, .469
Rochester Generics, SLVI-SLVII: 171-153, .528 (83-79, 88-74)
Tigres de San Juan, SLVI: 76-86, .469

TEAMS NEW IN SLVII

Antarctica Unspecifieds, SLVII: 86-76, .531 (86-76)
Barrow Daydreamers, SLVII: 75-87, .463
Idaho Potatoes (II), SLVII: 53-109, .327
Lombard St. Gumshoes, SLVII: 78-84, .481
Madison Mudholes, SLVII: 69-93, .426
Norfolk Splinter Cells, SLVII: 73-89, .451
Old Hoss Rabourns, SLVII: 64-98, .395
Oxbridge Mathematicians, SLVII: 87-75, .537 (87-75)
Polyarny Postmodernists, SLVII: 75-87, .463
Portland Bulldogs, SLVII: 84-78, .519
Poughkeepsie Superbas, SLVII: 65-97, .401
Rated R Superstars, SLVII: 67-95, .414
Ryleh Cultists, SLVII: 100-62, .617 (100-62)
Second City Saints, SLVII: 81-81, .500
St. Paul Bearers, SLVII: 75-87, .463
Ted Sox, SLVII: 79-83, .488
Vice City Goose Eggs, SLVII: 70-92, .432


TOP 5 IN TOTAL WINS

633 - New York/Fukuoka Finger-Bangers, SLI-SLVII
615 - Chicago/Los Angeles Bobbleheads, SLI-SLVII
593 - South L.A./South Bolton Eazy W's, SLI-SLVII
493 - Juneau Juggernauts, SLI-SLIV, SLVI-SLVII
442 - Seattle SuperSonics, SLII-SLVI

TOP 5 IN WINNING PERCENTAGE

.617 - Ryleh Cultists, SLVI
.599 - Gander Doppel-Bangers, SLIV-SLV
.598 - Boston Skyhawks, SLI-SLIV
.586 - Rockford Losers, SLV-SLVII
.586 - Luna Landers, SLVI-SLVII

TOP 5 SINGLE SEASON RECORDS

108-54 - Chicago Bobbleheads, SLVII
105-57 - Gander Doppel-Bangers, SLIV
104-58 - Seattle SuperSonics, SLV
101-61 - Chicago Blood Sox, SLII
100-62 - Rockford Losers, SLVI
100-62 - Ryleh Cultists, SLVII
100-62 - Luna Landers, SLVII

BOTTOM 5 IN WINNING PERCENTAGE

.299 - Newport Sharks(I), SLI
.327 - Idaho Potatoes(II), SLVII
.346 - Hill Valley Biffs, SLVI
.364 - Brooklyn Bombers, SLII
.364 - Brooklyn Bronies, SLVI

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Nov 17, 2012

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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Senerio posted:

Next time, show some respect.
Goddamn Koop leaving traps in his old work. I will show the Queens Mercuries the proper respect and fix the unfortunate typo.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Super-League VII Awards
I know these awards are made up and probably auto-generated by BBM, but how the gently caress did Frank Robinson get passed up for a Silver Slugger when he out hit Musial by every measure (especially the most important slugging measure, dingers)?

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Nov 17, 2012

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
7 2Bs and a HR from Pete Rose in a 3 game series? :getin:

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Smasher: what's the status of my starters for the DLCS? Since the Finger-Bangers went to a full 5 games, does that mean Paige is fully rested and can start game 1?

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

ToiletofSadness!

I need to know if your team will be taking up the Macho Men challenge should you win the Super-League Championship!
I must decline; even if I were to win the league championship, I'm just not ready to give this team up yet.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Third time was finally the charm! The bullpen was absolutely awful in this series (which bothers me given the Bobbleheads probably have the league's best), but my hitters burned through the Bangers pitchers well enough.

Marauder: I tip my cap to you. You've proven to be a hell of an opponent these last 3 seasons. I quite expect we'll be meeting again in this place come next season. I understand why you've held control of the Dynamo League in these seasons since the Skyhawks retired; that offense is relentless.

And now a letter from the Mayor of Rockford, the High Chief of the Rock River Valley, the Protectorate of Winnebago, Boone, and McHenry County, and the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah, Lord Humungus:

quote:

blakelmanakle:

I've faced the best that the Dynamo League has to offer and beaten them all. They've all tried to take down my team and failed. They've been obstacles in the way of what matters most--that Super-League Championship. Just like you and your team. You're just another obstacle.

There's nothing I've been looking forward to more than this moment. Finally, someone outside the old guard has a chance to win the Super-League Championship. And I will not let this opportunity to fall through my grasp. Just like every other moment this season, my team will rise to the occasion and destroy the obstacle set in front of them. The Florida Oranges and the rest of the Vae Victis? Beat them by over 20 wins and sent them all into the gauntlet from which they will never return. The Burma Imperialists? Never posed a threat and swept them easily. The Finger-Bangers? An inevitability.

So, just like the rest, your team too will fall at my hands. It doesn't matter that I've never been here before and your team is the defending champs. It doesn't matter how many records you set this season. All that matters is that my team is going to win.

Unlike last year's Dynamo League champions, I have no intention of going down so easily. This year's league finals will be a war. A glorious, bloody war. And my team savors nothing more than battle.

So when the smoke clears and the dust settles, my team will be hoisting up the title while your date with dissolution will have to wait another season.

Smasher: Can we retro-actively make my team's entrance theme "War Machine" by Kiss? A song with that much synth seems entirely unfitting for a team led by blood-thirsty warlord. Secondly, are there any travel/off days before the start of the finals or am I locked into Seaver-Ryan-Paige-Drysdale? Finally, I'll get lineups for the finals series figured out and posted later tonight.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

League Finals Roster
Giving the Koosman thing a try here. Hate to have to pull Drysdale from the rotation, but he has the worst career splits vs LHBs.

Lineup vs RHP
2B Rose
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
C Torre
3B Youkilis
SS Tejada
P Pitcher

Lineup vs LHP
LF Speaker
3B Youkilis
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
CF Charleston
C Torre
SS Tejada
2B Frisch
P Pitcher

Bench
C Martinez
IF Frisch/Rose
3B Ventura
LF Raines
LF O'Doul
RF Oliva

Pitching
SP Paige
SP Koosman
SP Seaver
SP Ryan
Mop Drysdale
LR Sabathia
MR Hernandez
SR Myers
SR Wetteland
SU Bentancourt
CL Smoltz

Sliders
Hit and Run: -2
Sacrifice Bunt: -5
Squeeze Play: 0
Trying for extra bases: +2
Stealing Bases: +2
Aggressively Tagging Up: +2
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): 0
Giving Intentional Walks: 0
Pitching Around Good Hitters: +2
Bringing the Infield In: 0
Guarding the Lines: 0
Making Cutoff Throws: +2
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: 0
Bringing in Pinch Runners: +1
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: +3
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: 0
Letting pitchers pitch through trouble: +2
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: +2

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Who the gently caress replaced my Satchel Paige with the Bronies' copy? Secondly, did every single position player on my roster get a bad roll in the finals series file? I can't believe that Frank Robinson was my only starter capable of hitting above the Mendoza line against that pitching staff. I literally don't believe it.

Congrats, Bobbleheads. Beat the Macho Men and let chaos reign!

edit: Smasher, one last question: is there a way to set my strategy sliders in the future to get my brain-dead AI manager to leave my starters out on the field longer? I'm fully aware I only really have 2.5 or 3 capable relievers, so I'm a little baffled why my AI manager would be so quick on the hook to bring on the bullpen.

edit2: And the AI didn't even use my best reliever Smoltz once over the course of the whole series! What the hell?

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Dec 1, 2012

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

e: As you point out, ToiletofSadness, Paige has been this bad before in the Super-League, so this wasn't wholly unprecedented. As for the struggles of your lineup, sometimes these things just happen.

My guess is that they just weren't a lineup particularly well-suited to deal with the relatively high-K starters of the Bobbleheads.

As for the AI issue, I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, because sometimes your manager will let Don Drysdale throw 140 pitches, and sometimes he'll pull Paige after four or five innings. The Skyhawks had the same problem in their last couple of seasons.

And your manager didn't use Smoltz because you were never really that close to winning a game. If he were going to use Smoltz, it would have been in Game 3, but I guess the AI was foolishly saving for him for the save opportunity, which, admittedly, is rather realistic.
Yeah, previous mediocrity aside, it's not like I wasn't going to not start Paige in this series...ah, well.

Looking through the box scores again, yeah, my team struck out a little bit more than I'd like (especially Youk and Tejada who were black holes on offense for most of the playoffs), but I just couldn't draw a walk to help out the hitting woes (4 total over the whole series). Bobbleheads' starters were apparently just throwing BBs all series.

I suppose, using Myers over Smoltz made sense from a platoon advantage standpoint, but, still, it's not like the AI manager doesn't use Smoltz for 2 inning non-save appearances most of the time anyway.

Given my team held Ruth and Grace to a combined 2 XBHs, I was hoping for a better result than a complete sweep. Tough beat.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

BearDrivingTruck posted:

I'm in Vae Victis? Have mercy on me, Lord Mayor.
You want mercy? Go to church.

Seriously, you new guys should take some inspiration from the Generics. They were, if I remember correctly, one of the worst teams during their Expansion Cup but were able to survive a Vae Victis with 3 90-win teams because of strong drafting. I think they even finished above .500 that season. They gave Dubai a hell of a fight this season.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Well, maybe I don't feel so ashamed of getting swept in the finals now. If the Bobbleheads were good enough to take the Macho Men to the literal brink of elimination, they were just that drat good.

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Bloody close game! That's the closest ever isn't it?
I think the Doppel-Bangers were able to win 3 games.

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 02:05 on Dec 3, 2012

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Robert_Deadford posted:

Since everyone is getting all frisky with this whole trading malarkey, this is what I need, in order of priority:

some decent relievers;

a 3B who is a better hitter than John Valentin, and an equivalent fielder at worst;
I can offer you 93 Robin Ventura, who is much better than John Valentin in every way. How's this?

Arguments offer:
#38 pick
#61 pick

Losers offer:
93 Ventura
#80 pick

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Robert_Deadford posted:

What about the #61 pick for Ventura?
Sorry, no, I'll hold on to him.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

BearDrivingTruck posted:

... I'm sorry if I sound a bit suspicious, but didn't Fox not see much playing time until he was on White Sox (I just check the web)?

Can someone from the thread give me a second opinion?
Given someone essentially traded 82 Yount for in his prime Ernie Banks earlier this week, I would hope you can do better.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
I'd totally throw you my 1st round pick as I've been stuck at the back of the draft for the last 3 seasons, but then I'd open it and get this:

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
I realize my pick is still a number of selections away, but I'm requesting that if it comes up overnight I could get a time extension until morning CST (say 7:30 or 8).

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Can we get a ruling on the Unspecifieds pick so we can move on to the Gumshoes? Want to get to make my pick in the next 4 hours otherwise I'm without forums access until about 5 PM CST (work presentations/meetings).

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

With the 80th pick, the Rockford Losers select Jack McDowell, pitcher, 1995 Yankees.

It's a bit of lottery ticket given that 1995 was Black Jack's last productive season in the majors, but he's only 29 and he's my 7 or 8th option at starter, so no big deal, really. Plus, McDowell has a long and storied history of success on this team so I'm sure he will continue that should I ever need to call upon him.

South Bolton is on the clock.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Super-League VIII Opening Day Roster
Keeping it very much the same as last year's roster. No need to change what ain't broke, only to find which of my many disposable middle relievers Mogul decides to find favor with this season.

Team Roster:
C Joe Torre (65 Brewers, acquired from Honolulu)
1B Frank Thomas (93 White Sox)
2B Frankie Frisch (28 Cardinals)
3B Kevin Youkilis (07 Red Sox, acquired from Seattle Homers)
SS Joe Cronin (34 Senators)
LF Tris Speaker (21 Indians)
CF Oscar Charleston (Negro Leagues)
RF Frank Robinson (64 Reds)
C Victor Martinez (04 Indians)
3B Robin Ventura (93 White Sox)
SS Miguel Tejada (00 Athletics, acquired from Atlantis)
UI Pete Rose (64 Reds)
LF Tim Raines (93 White Sox)
OF Tony Oliva (66 Twins, acquired from Greenbrier)
SP Tom Seaver (71 Mets)
SP Nolan Ryan (71 Mets)
SP Jerry Koosman (71 Mets)
SP Don Drysdale (61 Dodgers, acquired from South Bolton)
SP Satchel Paige (Negro Leagues, acquired from Brooklyn)
RP John Smoltz (01 Braves, acquired from Boston)
RP John Wetteland (94 Expos)
RP Rafael Bentancourt (04 Indians)
RP JJ Putz (04 Mariners, acquired from Greenbrier)
RP Randy Myers (90 Reds, acquired from Motor City)
SP/RP C.C. Sabathia (04 Indians)

AAA IF Omar Vizquel (04 Indians)
AAA LF Lefty O'Doul (33 Giants)
AAA SP Jack McDowell (95 Yankees)
AAA SP Alex Fernandez (93 White Sox)
AAA SP Harry Breechen (49 Cardinals)
AAA SP Jim O’Toole (64 Reds)
AAA RP Roberto Hernandez (93 White Sox)
AAA RP Bob Wickman (04 Indians)
AAA RP Arthur Rhodes (96 Orioles, acquired from Seattle Homers)
AAA RP Al Alburquerque (11 Tigers, acquired from Brooklyn)

Lineups
NOTE: Victor Martinez catches for Drysdale and Koosman. Joe Torre for the rest.

vs RHP
2B Frisch
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
SS Cronin
C Torre/Martinez
3B Youkilis
P Pitcher

vs LHP
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
CF Charleston
C Torre/Martinez
3B Youkilis
2B Frisch
P Pitcher


Pitching Staff:
SP Paige
SP Seaver
SP Drysdale
SP Ryan
SP Koosman
CL Smoltz
SU Bentancourt
SR Wetteland
SR Myers
MR Putz
LR Sabathia

Strategy:
Hit and Run: -2
Sacrifice Bunt: -5
Squeeze Play: 0
Trying for extra bases: +2
Stealing Bases: +1
Aggressively Tagging Up: +2
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): +1
Giving Intentional Walks: 0
Pitching Around Good Hitters: +2
Bringing the Infield In: 0
Guarding the Lines: 0
Making Cutoff Throws: +2
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: 0
Bringing in Pinch Runners: 0
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: +3
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -3
Letting pitchers pitch through trouble: +2
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: +2

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Pungry posted:

yep, that sure is a roster
If you don't think Cal Ripken is good enough to start over Carlos Guillen, may I please have him?

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Kevin Brown should be the 1997 version. I acquired him from South Bolton when I traded 93 McDowell during SLVI. I then flipped Brown and 04 Cliff Lee (who's apparently found his way to the Coburns) and probably one other throw in to the Bronies in an auction held that season for Satchel Paige.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
I'll at least take a run at the Momento Mori.

edit: After spending 4 hours on this write up, will someone, anyone please handle the Sic Transit Vir?

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Dec 14, 2012

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Apologies for the double-post, but this way the thread will be bumped with new content...

What will come first? Snow in Chicago or the start of the season? (Super League VIII Preview: Momento Mori Division)




The Memento Mori for most of its life has been held under the control of TKBomber. For the first five seasons, he won every Momento Mori title--the first four with the Skyhawks and the fifth with the Phantoms. However, in SLVI Smasher League refugee Viscount Slim and his Imperialists was able to break TKBomber's hold on the division due to the rest of the teams self-destructing from neglect. In SLVII, Burma was able to cruise to another division title as the expected competition from Expansion Cup champions Polyarny never materialized and TKBomber's new and controversial Portland Bulldogs weren't yet strong enough to compete. This year's Momento Mori returns Burma and Portland, but also imports the Antarctic Unspecifieds who finished second to the Finger-Bangers in last year's Sic Transit Vir and pushed the Cleveland Unicorns into the Gauntlet. In addition to those 3 returning teams, the Momento Mori also welcomes the Expansion Cup champion Web 2.0 Bloggers and the Cancun Tornados (who held the best regular season record in the Expansion Cup).



I like a lot of what you've done with your team here, but you still have holes in the pitching staff and in the corner outfield spots that could prevent you from moving on to SLIX.



Still probably the favorites, but will face some stiffer competition than the two last seasons that will hopefully push them to make better showings in the playoffs.



For a team that finished with the best record in the Expansion Cup, I feel I was really tough on your team. The starting pitching is great, but it has to be to carry every other part of the team. It may be the case where your team is sort of like the Unicorns--not particularly great on paper but collectively, every piece works together well. Except that bullpen. You really have to fix that.



You beat Senerio in a loser leaves town match in the Gauntlet. Now's time to focus on regaining what's rightfully yours. By any means, right?



Nice work in the offseason making significant upgrades at 1B, 2B, and SS. Unfortunately, you still have potential offensive holes at every infield position except 1B. The starting pitching is no longer a raging tire fire, which is a plus.


Catcher
  1. '51 Yogi Berra (ANT)
  2. '75 Carlton Fisk (WEB)
  3. '56 Roy Campanella (CAN)
  4. '75 Darrell Porter/'84 Carlton Fisk (BUR)
  5. '41 Ernie Lombardi (POR)

This should be non-controversial. Yogi Berra is an inner circle hall of famer and in his prime. Young Carlton Fisk and old Roy Campanella are both going to be very good. Burma's catcher platoon produced strong results last season, but, on its face, is not as strong as the 3 before them. Ernie Lombardi has the distinction of being the worst of a strong group and being on the down side of his career.

First Baseman
  1. '26 Lou Gehrig (WEB)
  2. '94 Jeff Bagwell (BUR)
  3. '11 Miguel Cabrera (ANT)
  4. '65 Frank Howard (POR)
  5. '02 Joe Kelley/'56 Gil Hodges (CAN)

Lou Gehrig is an all-time great. I like Bagwell just a smidge more than Cabrera because of his plate patience. The other 2 first baseman in this list are significantly behind the pack here. I chose Howard over Cancun's bizarre righty/righty platoon mainly because I expect Howard to hit at least 10-15 HRs. With Joe Kelley holding the dominant portion of the platoon, the Tornados might be lucky to hit double digits.

Second Baseman
  1. '11 Eddie Collins (BUR)
  2. '18 Rogers Hornsby (ANT)
  3. '31 Charlie Gehringer (POR)
  4. '24 Riggs Stephenson (CAN)
  5. 2010 Robinson Cano/1910 Jim Delahanty (WEB)

Hornsby and Collins are two of the best offensive 2B of all time. In choosing between the two you must make a couple trade-offs--Hornsby has the power hitting ability but less plate patience, and Collins has the better eye and base running ability but little power. All things considered, the Mogul engine seems to love any and all incarnations of Collins, so he gets the edge here. Gehringer is also very good but a step behind the first two. Riggs Stephenson has great offensive numbers for his position, if you ignore the fact that he only played in 100 games 5 times in his 14 year career; he's also a defensive liability. The Super League has never been particularly kind to Robinson Cano and Jim Delahanty is a not good player outside the context of the Super League.

Third Baseman
  1. '54 Eddie Matthews/'91 Matt Williams (BUR)
  2. '64 Brooks Robinson (WEB)
  3. '11 Home Run Baker (ANT)
  4. '02 John McGraw/'35 Joe Cronin (CAN)
  5. '02 Jimmy Collins (POR)

Eddie Matthews is the clear favorite here and is good enough on his own that I don't understand why he's being platooned with Matt Williams. Still, clearly, the best. Brooks Robinson brings elite defense and mediocre offense, but I like him more than the collection of dead ballers behind him. All the rest should be mostly equivalent--high average, middling OBP, no power, at best middling defense. Home Run Baker goes first because he has the most power of the trio and because most of Cronin's value will come from playing SS.

Shortstop
  1. '84 Alan Trammell (POR)
  2. '35 Joe Cronin/'58 Ernie Banks (CAN)
  3. '97 Derek Eater (ANT)
  4. '82 Robin Yount (WEB)
  5. 2000 Edgar Renteria (BUR)

Trammell takes the top spot here solely because he's the most well-rounded of these SS--he's an excellent defender and no slouch with the bat. Next comes Cronin/Banks because they have more power than Jeter. Yount would be higher if he (and especially the 1982 version) didn't seem to be a curse to his every owner in the Super League. And falling well behind that group of current and should-be hall-of-famers comes Edgar Renteria. Viscount, how in the hell have you survived this long with such terrible shortstops?

Left Fielder
  1. '99 Lord Barrold Bonds (WEB)
  2. '89 Rickey Henderson (BUR)
  3. '01 Billy Hamilton/'02 Joe Kelley (CAN)
  4. '35 Joe Medwick (POR)
  5. '10 Sam Crawford (ANT)

Barry Bonds is great, and we are but his servants. Rickey's power gives him an edge over Hamilton (whose career stats kind of read to me like the deadball era version of Rickey). Ducky Joe Medwick has great power, but bad plate patience, terrible defense, and an even worse nickname. Sam Crawford brings up the rear.

Center Fielder
  1. '15 Tris Speaker (ANT)
  2. '00 Jim Edmonds (BUR)
  3. '24 Tris Speaker (CAN)
  4. '90 Kirby Puckett (WEB)
  5. '84 Chet Lemon (POR)

I'm legitimately torn as to how to rank these players. Tris Speaker is a bonafide all-time great that brings good defense, superlative speed, amazing ability to hit for average, and draws walks. He even hits for high numbers of extra bases, just not home runs (literally the only hole in his game). On the other hand, while historically not as great a player, Jim Edmonds always mashes for the Imperialists and gets the benefit from the Mogul of being a modern day defender. Let's just split the difference and give the edge to young Speaker, then Edmonds, than old Speaker. Puckett will hit for high average and solid power, but can't draw walks and isn't as defensively capable as the 3 above him. Chet Lemon is the bad guy from every 80s movie where a rag-tag bunch of kids have to save the local youth center by break-dancing, winning a ski race, or circum-navigating the globe on a skateboard, right?

Right Fielder
  1. '66 Frank Robinson (POR)
  2. '56 Duke Snider (CAN)
  3. 2010 Launch Ballman/'80 Cesar Cedeno
  4. '28 Paul Waner (ANT)
  5. '32 Babe Herman (WEB)

Frank Robinson has a strong record of success in the Super League; he's going to hit 20+ HRs, have a solid OBP, and play above-average outfield defense. That's enough to put him slightly ahead of the Duke who's playing out of position and always hits tons of HRs but can't quite match Robinson's OBP. If he stays healthy the whole season, Berkman will have offensive numbers as good as any player on this list; it's just that at his age, he is an injury liability and a defensive liability too. If Waner could hit more HRs, he'd be above Berkman. Herman probably isn't well suited to be hitting lead-off, but given the rest of the Bloggers' roster I can see how he ended up there.

Bench
  1. '84 Lance Parrish/'89 George Brett/'70 Jim Fergosi/'65 Tony Oliva/'29 Pie Traynor (ANT)
  2. '96 Terry Steinback/'96 Mark McGwire/'84 Howard Johnson/'60 Nellie Fox/'73 Bobby Murcer (POR)
  3. Platoon Partners/'02 Roger Bresnahan/'56 Jackie Robinson/'35 Roy Johnson (CAN)
  4. '68 Bill Freehan/'64 Luis Aparicio/'93 Lenny Dykstra/2012 Andrew McCutchen (WEB)
  5. Platoon Partners/2010 Michael Young/2000 Will Clark/2000 JD Drew (BUR)

I think the Unspecifieds win this by default; they had the most bench players that didn't make me want to vomit at the thought of them starting. Shaky defense aside, Brett should probably be their starting 3B as it is. Bulldogs are next; they have good infield coverage/flexibility, but could use another OFer. On most days, the Tornados can bring prime Ernie Banks and Jackie Robinson off their bench as pinch hitters. That's awesome, but the rest of the bench not so much. The Bloggers have a lot of back up defensive players on what is already a defensive-minded team; they need better bench bats. Burma would be best to hope that none of their starters ever sustain an injury or need a moment of rest.

SP1
  1. '28 Pete Alexander (POR)
  2. Hilton Smith (BUR)
  3. Old Hoss Radbourn (WEB)
  4. '58 Whitey Ford (ANT)
  5. '02 Tom Hughes (CAN)

A formidable set of aces. This particualr version of Pete Alexander has the pedigree as one of the most prolific Super League starters of all time, even at this advanced age. He's anchored all of TKBomber's rotations and done a good job of it. The next two are kind of a toss up; Hilton Smith has an established record as being a top-quality SL starting pitcher. Meanwhile, this is Radbourn's first go around in the league; giving the edge to Smith only because of the available track record. Ford only places forth because of the greatness in front of him; he'll be good, but his K/BB ratio is a little on the low side for my liking. Hughes just isn't as good as the rest of these pitchers.

SP2
  1. '78 Bert Blyleven (POR)
  2. '56 Sandy Koufax (CAN)
  3. '11 Chief Bender (WEB)
  4. '82 Don Sutton (BUR)
  5. '65 Jim Kaat (ANT)

In prime Blyleven gets the nod over baby Koufax. Both are going to have ridiculous K/9 ratios. Chief Bender is probably slightly underrated because of my preference for strikeout pitchers as opposed to deadballers. 2 different revisions of Bender poster ERAs below 3.50 for the Mooglies last season. Don Sutton has been reliable, but in 1982 he's just extremely old. Things I learned about Jim Kaat while researching for this post: he won 15 straight gold gloves.

SP3
  1. '21 Joe Wood (POR)
  2. '02 Joe McGinnity (CAN)
  3. '09 Cliff Lee (ANT)
  4. '64 Milt Pappas (WEB)
  5. '37 Bob Feller (BUR)

I think 1921 Joe Wood must be broken or exploit some glitch in the Mogul sim engine; Wood stopped pitching for good after the 1920 season and only pitched 18.1 innings in the 3 seasons he played before that, but somehow has always been ridiculously good for every team he's played for. Last season he posted a 2.34 and 280 Ks (his K/9 was 2 points higher than Satchel Paige's). That's a joke right? McGinnity gets the edge over Cliff Lee, who's always been a bit up and down in the Super League. Pappas comes next, and I wouldn't expect him to pitch anywhere near as well as in the Expansion Cup. Making any 18 year-old a critical part of your rotation, even if it's Bob Feller is destined to end in failure.

SP4
  1. '35 Lefty Grove (CAN)
  2. '37 Lefty Gomez (POR)
  3. '06 Zack Greinke (BUR)
  4. '19 Claude Hendrix (WEB)
  5. '11 Doug Fister (ANT)

Two hall-of-fame Leftys and a lot of chaff.

SP5
  1. '24 Stan Coveleski (CAN)
  2. '68 Mickey Lolich (WEB)
  3. '84 Jack Morris (POR)
  4. '65 Jim Perry (ANT)
  5. '66 Sam McDowell (BUR)

Coveleski is a hall-of-famer and was very good for the Tornados in the Expansion Cup. He's followed by the Bloggers' Mickey Lolich, who doesn't really fit in with the rest of the team's pitch to contact starters. Jack Morris, who is overrated and does not belong in the HOF, got smacked around in short duty in last year's Super League. Jim Perry doesn't even seem to be a viable innings eater, but pitched reasonably well last season. Sam McDowell is a guarantee of a lot of Ks and a lot of BBs.

Closer/Bullpen
  1. '89 Dennis Eckersley/'94 John Wetteland/2003 Jose Valverde (ANT)
  2. 2007 Jonathan Papelbon/2000 Mike Timlin/2011 Matt Thornton (BUR)
  3. '86 Jesse Orosco/'90 Rick Aguilera/'81 Jeff Reardon (WEB)
  4. '78 Kent Tekulve/2006 BJ Ryan/'84 Willie Hernandez (POR)
  5. '92 Tom Gordon/'92 Jeff Montgomery/'92 Mark Davis (CAN)

These bullpens are bad, and I hope they make you feel bad. By virture of having 2 top closers, the Unspecifieds' bullpen is leagues ahead of the rest of their division mates. Though, this success is weighed down by having Jose Valverde in their bullpen. Papelbon is probably better than every other reliever that appears on the other 3 teams, so I guess Burma comes next. As a White Sox fan, I have much appreciation for Thornston's strong work as a setup man in the real MLB, but he's going to get hammered in the Super League. The Bloggers are next because they did not make BJ Ryan their setup man. The Tornados' bullpen is comprised of the 1992 Royals and excess starters. Things will not go well unless each of their starters can somehow eat up 250 innings per man.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
A. Opportunity knoc--er, rings.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Apparently my pitching staff takes Sundays off. 34 of 48 runs allowed have come in two games. Ow, my pythag record!

Edit: Obit: A. Get the Crystal Pepsi!

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Frankie Frisch in the top ten for OPS? I guess that makes up for his atrocious defense. What to do, what to do with my miserable bullpen? Send Smoltz to the DL, Arthur Rhodes gets the call up. New bullpen alignment:

CL Wetteland
SU Myers
SR Bentancourt
SR Rhodes
MR Putz
LR Sabathia

Obit vote: A.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

BearDrivingTruck posted:

Time for a terrible change. For now, replace 1996 Denny Neagle with 1964 Wally Bunker.

I'm destined for failure anyways, so let's make this amusing.
I mean, yeah, there's no way Neagle's going to go the whole season without giving up a run, but you might as well ride the hot hand until his luck runs out. No need to pull him until he regresses back to something more in line with his career numbers.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

ForeverBWFC posted:

Also, what the sweet Christ is up with Tereseau and Axford's ERAs?
Well, in Axford's case, it looks like he's only pitched one short outing that he got smacked around in (getting 1 out while giving up 2 runs) and Tereseau has had 2 or 3 consecutive bad starts. That happens over the course of the season and it should level out (unless Mogul thinks they're bad players). In general, I'd say your team ERA is on the high side, but, drat, it's still nearly a half run better than the league average. So maybe there's been a influx of high-powered offenses into the SL this season.

Voting B for the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Voting B for the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Return Smoltz from the DL, fire JJ Putz into the sun or send him to AAA South Beloit (whichever is a more painful fate). Bullpen with Smoltz back:

CL Smoltz
SU Wetteland
SR Bentancourt
SR Myers
MR Rhodes
LR Sabathia

Replace Youkilis with Rose at 3B for now.

Voting C for the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

Always solid. And, probably because of some sort of psychic resonance, the Big Hurt always seems to do a lot better for you than anyone else.
I assume it's the same power that made Jack McDowell a perennial Cy Young candidate for my team and only slight above average when moved to the Eazy Ws.

Voting for option C in the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Send Drysdale to the DL and summon forth McDowell the elder.

While we're tweaking the pitching staff, a few slider adjustments:
Letting pitchers pitch through trouble: +1
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: +1

Also, I guess Big Hurt needs some days off, so let's sit him vs RHP and adjust that lineup as so:
2B Frisch
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
C Torre/Martinez
1B Youkilis
3B Rose
P Pitcher

Finally, voting C for the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Let's re-shuffle the vs RHP lineup to bring back Big Hurt and give Frisch and Cronin some rest:

2B Rose
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
C Torre/Robinson
3B Youkilis
SS Tejada
P Pitcher

As for the obit vote, I guess I should vote C since the Vikings did knock the Bears out of the playoffs.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

What the gently caress is with Mogul's stamina system? I sit Frank Thomas for a week and he's already back to tired?

As for the Rhodes injury, send him to the DL and call up Roberto Hernandez as his replacement.

Re-shuffling the vs RHP lineup to manage player rest for this 6 week death march without an off day:
2B Frisch
CF Speaker
SS Cronin
RF Oliva
C Torre/Martinez
1B Youkilis
LF Raines
3B Rose
P Pitcher

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

It appears I have quite a bit of business to take care of.

First, roster transactions:
  • Seeing no better option, The Losers select second baseman 1993 Roberto Alomar. For too long my infield defense has been an utter travesty so hopefully he can reverse that trend and provide some offense to boot.
  • To make room on the roster for Alomar, I'm sending down Pete Rose.
  • To replace the injured Arthur Rhodes, call up Roberto Hernandez.

Secondly, new lineups to reflect the addition of Alomar:
vs RHP
3B Frisch
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Robinson
SS Cronin
C Torre/Martinez
2B Alomar
P Pitcher

vs LHP
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
RF Robinson
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
C Torre/Martinez
3B Youkilis
2B Frisch
P Pitcher

Finally, voting B on the obit story.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

With Drysdale back in good health, return him to the starting rotation. McDowell returns to the minors. Send Frisch to the DL and return Pete Rose to the majors.

New lineups to cover for Frisch's injury:
vs RHP
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Oliva
SS Cronin
C Torre/Martinez
3B Youkilis
P Pitcher

vs LHP
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
CF Charleston
C Torre/Martinez
3B Youkilis
2B Rose
P Pitcher

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Call up Drysdale and return McDowell, the Elder, to the minors.

New vs RHP lineup for the week to give Cronin and Youkilis some more rest
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
1B Thomas
CF Charleston
RF Oliva
C Martinez
3B Ventura
SS Tejada
P Pitcher

Also, shoot the AI schedule maker for throwing this awful 6 week stretch with no off days into the middle of my season.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

quote:

The Uncertain
Why haven't the Losers murdered everyone else in their division yet?
Probably because for the last 2 weeks Drysdale has been languishing in my minors. So, for the third time, will you please replace Jack McDowell with Don Drysdale and send McDowell back to minors?

Additionally, return Arthur Rhodes to the major league roster as my middle reliever. Hernandez can return to the minors, for now.

New vs RHP lineup for the week:
2B Alomar
LF Speaker
SS Cronin
CF Charleston
RF Oliva
C Torre/Martinez (Torre catches for Paige, Seaver, Ryan; Martinez for Drysdale, Koosman)
1B Youkilis
3B Ventura
P Pitcher

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

So, yeah, occasionally mistakes are going to be made. I'm sorry, but I'm not actually a machine.

That's fair enough, when our league has Mornacle and his no-so-secret quest to kill you via micro-management. But you made a point to call me out on it in the update, so I wanted to be sure you knew I was paying attention and was already very aware he was ready to return to the roster.

I do appreciate the work you do in running things here. So, next time I'll try to make my tone less pissy.

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Jan 10, 2013

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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Don't forget to mention he's constantly injury-prone, so that's why oldskool never starts him for more than a month or two per season.

edit: can't believe the goddamn Oranges got a Pete Alexander (even injured) for 2 pitchers performing below league average.

ToiletofSadness fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Jan 11, 2013

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