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Renegret posted:Honestly if you're that worried about the no gift thing, just bring a card, don't seal it, and put a Nintendo or Amazon gift card in your pocket. If you need it you just slip it in before you seal, and if you don't, go home and buy the Bluey game or something. This is the right way. The wrong way was when we requested “no gifts, but if you must, give a books” and got 4 different big plastic toy sets anyway. We’ll probably just say no gifts from now on, as we don’t have anymore space for toys and have enough to last her and her incoming baby sister (T-15 days) until they are older. Once baby sister is older, we can retire the rattles and such, then start thinking about older sets.
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Apr 15, 2024 19:17
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On the reserve front, she has never had a true favorite, so we just make sure that we know where we can get something from Prime or Target. “it’s sick and off to the toy doctor, back soon!” the funniest version of that was when the Gund peek-a-boo bunny must have had a version 2 because the “Do Your Ears Hang Low” song was replaced with something a little bit more kid friendly and modern. i was personally glad it learned a new song when it was off to the doctor.
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Apr 15, 2024 19:21
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is it tacky to say no gifts but if you want to gift something here's fidelity's gift portal for his 529?
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Apr 15, 2024 20:09
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Not if you lie and say you've limited gifts on the portal to a maximum of $20 so that you're setting reasonable expectations
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Apr 15, 2024 20:14
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Our daughter was invited to a "gifts optional" party once. We, being reasonable parents who understand the plight of piles of untouched junk, didn't have our daughter bring a gift - just a handmade card. Big mistake. She was the only kid not to bring a gift, and the birthday girl got mad at her for not bringing one. Her parents thanked us for not bringing one, but that didn't help out our daughter.
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Apr 15, 2024 20:32
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Toddler now uses the phrase "papa gone" whenever she doesn't want me around, usually because her grandma is there to play with her instead. Then she fell down her toddler steps and banged her head and I was very much needed to soothe her. Silver linings I guess
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Apr 15, 2024 22:12
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Gifts optional / no gift required means that I let my kid make them a card and a bracelet out of beads or something from the craft bin.
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Apr 15, 2024 22:14
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Hadlock posted:Not if you lie and say you've limited gifts on the portal to a maximum of $20 so that you're setting reasonable expectations i like that idea!
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Apr 16, 2024 00:05
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Best advice I can give new parents: At daycare naps, there is only the Daycare Plush which you got on your first day at daycare. It has your name on it, but it does not come home with you, ever. Well, maybe after you stop napping. The Home Plush goes with you on travel but by not taking it to daycare, you've eliminated 99% of all opportunities for losing it. Our daycare doesn’t allow toys from home to be played with during the day, so my daughter’s now-well-loved Anpanman goes into her backpack (that also has her jacket and brings a clean change of clothes to/dirty clothes home) once we get there. There’s plenty of toys for them to play with.
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Apr 16, 2024 06:55
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I feel David hit a milestone of sorts this weekend. He took his bike, biked the 3.5 kilometers to his granddads and biked back on his own. The way has bike paths all the way and no need to cross any major roads, but he even videocalled and showed himself crossing the road the one time it was required. I am worried though, if he tells his teachers that might result in them notifying CPS. I'm not kidding, they have done that because we gave the kids keys to the house so they could let themselves in after the school taxi drop them off on tuesdays and thursdays. We figured that was OK because they'd only be home alone like 30 minutes then. CPS doesn't care though and they explained by law they have to report stuff like that if they feel the slightest worry about the kids. It hasn't damaged our relationship with their teachers, though it sounds bad. It's like the teachers are like overprotective helicopter moms and we're both far more hands off and trying to encourage the kids to be independent. While they have written down in reports that they think they need constant supervision for their "severe adhd and learning difficulties". We also feel they seem to go too easy on them in school, based on the type of school work they do and the homework they bring back it seems years behind where they should be. We're afraid they're not being challenged enough sometimes. Their number one priority is they should never feel inadequate or not up to the task and I understand that motivation, up to a point. I wonder if they will ever catch up or become functioning independent adults at this rate, or if that is even the teachers goal.
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Apr 16, 2024 11:23
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His Divine Shadow posted:I feel David hit a milestone of sorts this weekend. He took his bike, biked the 3.5 kilometers to his granddads and biked back on his own. The way has bike paths all the way and no need to cross any major roads, but he even videocalled and showed himself crossing the road the one time it was required. Your kids are what, 10? We had an official driver’s ed for bicycles in 4th grade, with a semi-official test along a route manned by parents and teachers to make sure every kid was able to cycle in/across town by themselves. Totally reasonable.
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Apr 16, 2024 11:45
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I'd say where we live it's perfectly normal for kids to go off on their own at younger than that here. I saw a couple of boys several years younger than mine bike past me at the supermarket last night and go in as I was heading to my car. In fact our kids used to take their bikes and leave for a playground a kilometer away when they were around 7, I feel they regressed a lot when they started school (later than most kids to boot) and the phones didn't help any. It's like now David at least is back to that level of independence. I feel it's pretty safe as a kid here, infrastructure isn't made car centric to the exclusion of anything else, and drivers licenses are both hard and expensive to get. I don't want to deprive my kids of the ability to explore and feel independent.
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Apr 16, 2024 12:01
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Sweeper posted:If they say no gift I’m not bringing a gift. I’d be annoyed if someone filled my house with yet more kid crap I didn’t want in the first place Pop-up card with a sheet or two of stickers in it.
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Apr 16, 2024 14:16
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It sounds like the school the boys are in may no longer be the best environment for them. Do you have other options you can explore? My kid is the same age as your boys and I remember being impressed with how independent they were. My almost 10yo now also goes on bike rides of a couple km without adult supervision and I feel like that’s totally appropriate for the age. You definitely shouldn’t be feeling like they’re going backwards. At this age, maturity and independence should be a mostly forward roll?
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Apr 16, 2024 15:40
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I wouldn't judge school too much based on amount of homework they get. Rough rule of thumb is 10 mins per US grade level so at 10 years old you they should be getting no more than 40 minutes a night.
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Apr 16, 2024 15:43
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cailleask posted:My almost 10yo now also goes on bike rides of a couple km without adult supervision and I feel like that’s totally appropriate for the age. Same. I once let her ride to a bridge on the converted rail trail a mile away. The trail crosses a busy road but with a pedestrian activated stop light for the trail crossing. She normally rides a pretty good route around our contiguous residential area. It’s clear that we are much more comfortable than some parents about letting them out of our sight. Six year old wants to go to the playground all the way across the other side of the park out of view while his twin brother is in a baseball game? Go for it man, you know the way.
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Apr 16, 2024 15:58
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I don’t know if it’s our natural disposition or some lingering had-baby-during-COVID personality impacts but building independence is something we’ll definitely have to work on as parents in a few years. Ugh.
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Apr 16, 2024 17:54
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Democratic Pirate posted:I don’t know if it’s our natural disposition or some lingering had-baby-during-COVID personality impacts but building independence is something we’ll definitely have to work on as parents in a few years. Ugh. Same. Our 4yo clearly wants to scooter around our relatively safe gated neighborhood as fast as she can on her own and I badly want that for her too but I’m also terrified to leave her out of sight for too long. Not really sure what I can do except get over it.
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Apr 16, 2024 18:23
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Wish I could figure out why the kiddo loses his poo poo now on car rides! No clue when this started because he was fine last friday lol. W/e dude.
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Apr 16, 2024 22:41
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For clarity before this story, my neighbors have 5 girls. I'm going to call the 3 in the story - Sister A (7yo), Sister B (6yo), and Sister C (4yo). Not involved in the story are the oldest (9yo) and youngest (2yo). The kids were outside playing after school today, and Sister C walks up and says "I heard you don't like Sister A." Sister B runs over and says "Shut up Sister C. They don't know about Sister A." And then the girls went home. Generally, I'd ignore this but Sister A has cancer, which our kids - and their entire school - know about. It's been a big deal in our community since she was diagnosed in August. I'm not sure what Sister C may have overheard from her parents or someone. I don't want the neighbors thinking our kids (or we) don't care. We've never really gotten along with those neighbors for a variety of reasons, but we've been as supportive as the rest of the community during this devastating time for them - mostly by way of sending them semi-regular doordash gift cards, so they don't always have to worry about making food with all the hospital visits. This was all second-hand, so I'm not sure how much is warped from the retelling of the story by my 8yo daughter. I'm debating if I bring it up with the neighbors or let it pass.
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Apr 17, 2024 02:55
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cailleask posted:It sounds like the school the boys are in may no longer be the best environment for them. Do you have other options you can explore? My kid is the same age as your boys and I remember being impressed with how independent they were. My almost 10yo now also goes on bike rides of a couple km without adult supervision and I feel like that’s totally appropriate for the age. You can't just switch schools that easily here, and we live in a small town so there aren't much choice, this is the only school with a class for special needs children, my kids have individual assistants and custom teaching curriculums. It's also hard to say it's the schools fault, David started developing more ticks and regressing when he started school but it might also be part of his symptoms change with age. They've also both made steady progress but I remember in preschool David was the one considered ahead of his twin in development. That's now quite reversed, 6kg weight difference, less social understanding, mor ticks, harder to focus. Daniel spends several classes a week with the main class nowadays. David started with one class per week in the larger class, both still need assistants. But they're making progress, one is definitely ahead of the other, more social and easier time making friends, though both have friends.
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Apr 17, 2024 08:10
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We’ve finally hit the “literally need to be in three places at once with two parents” scenario. Thankfully my mom is here this week so she could take one of the kids to their thing. Never have a third, we just didn’t get a choice in the matter with a two-for-one deal.
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Apr 17, 2024 22:52
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devmd01 posted:We’ve finally hit the “literally need to be in three places at once with two parents” scenario. Thankfully my mom is here this week so she could take one of the kids to their thing. We've got four. We'll just make them do all the same activities. Sorry, Fergus, you'll be Eugenie for Girl Guides on Tuesdays.
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Apr 18, 2024 11:56
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How come the more important a question is the quieter they ask it Earlier he was practically yelling across the neighborhood asking if I have "a butt and a penis" but now he's looking like he's asking for my spare kidney saying "Mm dr dr my r g dr?" Homie this is the poo poo I'm actually here for, just belt it out
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Apr 18, 2024 14:38
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I've been in the hospital since Monday night after coming down with appendicitis (hoping to be discharged today), and I'm really really bummed out about the restrictions I'm going to be under. My son is turning two at the beginning of May, so he's well over the weight limit for what I can lift for six weeks. Childcare of a toddler is going to fall almost entirely on my wife since I can't handle putting him in the crib, high chair, or stroller, and he's not going to understand why I can't play with him the same way I usually do. I won't even be able to lift him up and hug him on his birthday. This feels really bad.
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Apr 18, 2024 14:58
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Crescent Wrench posted:, and he's not going to understand why I can't play with him the same way I usually do. In my experience kids are pretty attuned to noticing when people are injured since kids fall over/off things, every day they see their peers get hurt on the playground multiple times per day. It might be the thing they're most familiar with.
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Apr 18, 2024 19:25
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Hadlock posted:In my experience kids are pretty attuned to noticing when people are injured since kids fall over/off things, every day they see their peers get hurt on the playground multiple times per day. It might be the thing they're most familiar with. Yeah, just explain to the kid simply what is happening. OP's been away in the hospital so the kid absolutely knows Abnormal Things are going on. Just tell them that daddy is hurt and he can't pick up baby and has to play gently. They will forget and maybe be upset sometimes but they will understand and if you remind them it will be fine. One of my friends did this with a similarly-aged child after a shoulder surgery and it was just fine.
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Apr 18, 2024 20:37
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Be careful how you phrase it though. A buddy has the noble goal of being absolutely frank and open about body stuff with his kids. After he got his vasectomy his 4 year old daughter was going around telling everyone she met how they had to be nice because daddy hurt his pee pee. From my perspective it was hilarious, though.
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Apr 18, 2024 21:16
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A game of 20 questions aka what does toddler want for dessert? Deedee What is that? Deedee Can you eat that? Yes Is is a fruit? No Is it in the fridge? Yes Is it yoghurt? No Can you describe it? Deedee What colour is it? Pink ...do you want ham? No At this point my wife goes to check the fridge. Turns out she wanted jelly, which my mother in law had made and we forgot we had
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Apr 18, 2024 22:09
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Thanks for the tips everyone. (And LOL at the vasectomy story.) He's happy to see me and I showed him my bandages/"owies," I'm sure I'll to re-enforce it, but it helps to know a lot of parents go through this kind of restriction with health stuff. It's the longest I've been away from him too, I just wanted my homecoming to be fun for him!
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Apr 18, 2024 23:36
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Yeah I hosed up my knee about two months ago and it was really rough at first, couldn't pick up the kid (3.5yo), or she would climb on me on the couch or whatever and bend it in an excruciating direction. She understood immediately, although I did have to remind her about five times. Just the over day she found my knee brace in the laundry and followed up on my knee "does your knee still hurt, Daddy?"
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Apr 18, 2024 23:51
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My go to gift is a gift card to the movie theater.
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Apr 19, 2024 00:59
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My kids were sent home with Child ID kits today as part of some safety presentation. You fill out the card in case they are lost or kidnapped, and you can hand it over to the police. It includes things like name, birthdate, unique physical characteristics; but also spots for at-home fingerprinting. I don't see the point in fingerprinting my kid, but maybe I haven't been properly educated on the benefit. Have any of you filled out these ID kits before?
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Apr 19, 2024 01:41
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My kid discovered whispering. Favorite factoid from dinner: Daddy, sometimes birds poop on people 
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Apr 19, 2024 01:42
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  Mother's Day (in the United States) is in 24 days  You have been warned
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Apr 19, 2024 01:52
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This is the first night I've ever spent away from my child who is almost 3 and it's weirding me out.
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Apr 19, 2024 02:50
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Good-Natured Filth posted:I don't see the point in fingerprinting my kid, but maybe I haven't been properly educated on the benefit.
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Apr 19, 2024 04:15
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My kid is in kindergarten. How do you handle talking to them about bomb threats to their school? Or do you not? There have been multiple so far.
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Apr 19, 2024 12:48
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c355n4 posted:My kid is in kindergarten. How do you handle talking to them about bomb threats to their school? Or do you not? There have been multiple so far. Is your kid in school in Kandahar?
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Apr 19, 2024 13:46
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CarForumPoster posted:Is your kid in school in Kandahar? worse, probably in America Bomb threats were much more of a high school thing as a kid. I'm surprised OP gets them at a kindergarten level - is this some kind of K-8 / K-12 joint? I also thought they were a bit passe now and that the cool kids are threatening to shoot up the joint.
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Apr 19, 2024 14:06
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