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Does google filter negative inquiries regarding parenting? Ever since we had our daughter seven months ago I will search for something like "dad depressed after baby" or "unhappy life after baby" just to generally get some idea of what other people are going through and there just seems to be so little in terms of results. I have no insurance and no resources to deal with depression, rotting teeth and so many negatives and it is just kind of bleak sometimes to not even be able to see that I might not be alone in feeling/being this way, particularly on night's like these when financial issues are really impacting us and I have not slept at all and have a baby on me, am eating like poo poo, have no time or energy to exercise, mess around the house etc. The one saving grace is when my daughter sees me she lights up but man, I just don't get why simple Internet searches turn up do little for dads. Sorry for the vent. And also of I hear one more parent of a student tell me something laughablely negative ("don't plan on sleeping for 18 years LOL" etc) I am going to lose It.
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Sep 26, 2012 10:17
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| # ¿ May 4, 2024 13:27 |
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Oh whoops - yeah. That first one does get a lot of hits. I'll blame the lack of sleep as I could have sworn I did search that one already.
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Sep 26, 2012 10:45
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Ben Davis posted:http://www.postpartum.net/Friends-and-Family/Resources-for-Fathers.aspx This also has a link to a forum for men with PPD. How're things going at home? Anything from before resolved? When you're already tired and upset, family stuff can seem to snowball. I guess things at home are fine. My wife is on Zoloft for PPD and was set up to start therapy, but she hasn't gone. We fight much less but when they do happen they are big. I try to just not say anything, because there is no "winning" involved and rarely a resolution. She is feeling better since starting the meds but since she is feeling better she doesn't feel the need to talk to a therapist even though her insurance covers it...I don't understand it since I would jump at the chance to talk to a therapist but whatever. Sophie is much better in terms of her mood now and like I said above, she can cheer me up sometimes just because she will give me these smiles that are starting to really show love and adoration, and that affirmation helps me. She was sleeping through the night for the most part but at about 5 1/2 months had a sleep regression and we have not gotten back on track. I'm frequently down in the dumps and it feels like there is just so little to look forward to sometimes, and a lot of the things I would do pre-baby to cheer myself up are just not doable anymore. There are no resolutions to so many problems and the list keeps growing. The impression I get from so many other parents is that this is just the way life is now and you get used to it. I'm sure E/N is the place for my boring laundry lost of problems so I won't go into it in detail. I'm glad that my daughter has turned into this cute little person with feelings and emotions and watching her grow is great. Here is a photo of her yesterday - 7 month birthday  
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Sep 26, 2012 20:52
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Woman posted:Wow rio she is adorable, look at those beautiful eyes! Yeah, you are remembering me correctly. MIL and I are amicable; I have tried to forgive and forget and I'm sure she has tried to do the same. It was an emotionally charged time. Just wanted to reply to answer your questions. My wife's insurance is all that we can afford, so I am not covered. I hope that some day I can see a therapist. I am still relying on getting a six pack when feeling down and that is no way to live but it works for now. I have problems setting aside money for a therapist when there is so much else to pay for for my family, much less myself (like earlier mentioned dental problems - other parents who might be putting it off, prioritize your teeth before they start to crumble). To add something that relates to parenting, I have a question. Have any of you had schedule conflicts with your significant others that have been amplified by parenthood? My wife and I are both musicians and both work similar hours (as it goes with musicians). We have been trying to balance who does what (baby vs. work) and I have been trying to settle on whoever has the higher paying gig or more students to teach gets priority. It has ended up that I gig more and she teaches more. I guess what I am asking is mainly how other couples have worked this type of thing out, although I don't know how common it is.
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Sep 29, 2012 07:09
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 This is what happened when we went to see Santa - was honestly kind of expecting it. He was a lovely Santa anyway, dude had a bum arm and was really mailing it in, not talking to the kids or anything. Before we even had a kid I was pretty sure I didn't want to lie to my child about Santa but my wife is all about doing everything that she did as a kid so we're going to compromise somehow when the time comes. Speaking of compromise, have any of you dealt with situation where your partner wants to give your kid something sugary and you are not for it? I don't mean like a cookie here or there, but on our daughter's first birthday she wants to make her a cake (her family tradition as well) but I don't particularly see the need to sugar up my kid when her taste preferences are forming (she is already getting finnicky and she started out a great eater) when she isn't asking for it and will not even remember it.
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Dec 23, 2012 07:10
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Fair enough, just didn't know if anyone else thought it might be kind of unnecessary when it was something she wouldn't remember. We went to a friend's first birthday party for their daughter and the kid stared at the cake, her eyes widened an she started bawling and wanted nothing to do with it. It was pretty funny.
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Dec 23, 2012 17:43
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I wasn't saying to not have a birthday party or do anything for her because she wouldn't remember it. I was concerned about something that has no nutritional content and is not only benign but bad for you that a lot of kids have problems with. I was a terrible eater when I was a kid partially due to my grandmother who would let me have everything that I shouldn't have every time I saw her. Eventually I would go on hunger strikes until my parents gave in and I guess I am just coming from that experience when considering things like sweets. I think cutting then off completely is a bad thing, though, and just wanted some input from other parents about the cake thing.
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Dec 23, 2012 23:49
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hookerbot, I see where you are coming from I guess the line I was drawing for myself was that of her asking for something vs. being given something that she would not even remember. Canuckistan - I am not fit but not fat as in obese. Around 200 right now, 6'1. My dad was always dieting, people ask if my mom is anorexic due to her food self restriction, her mom/my grandma was very heavy to the point of it quickening the end of her life by not being able to walk. A lot of issues, and I do not want my daughter to have any of them. ChloroformSeduction - thanks for the food for thought (hehhhhhh) Thank you all for the advice and sorry for the derail!
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Dec 24, 2012 03:59
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| # ¿ May 4, 2024 13:27 |
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shadysight posted:Speaking of food, my wife and I have decided that we're probably giving the kid (16mo) too much store bought stuff, and we'd like to cook more things for him. Any suggestions or websites I should check out? I'd like to be able to make a batch of a few different things and then parcel it out over a few days because of the way our schedules are working. We'd feed him more of what we're eating, but all too often that's just a hotdog or a black bean burger without a bun or anything since we haven't made time to cook anything more than that for ourselves either. Ours is 16 months too. She has been doing real food for a while now, and eats what we eat exclusively. Take a day out of the week and cook food for the upcoming week. That would be the big meal of the day (lunch and/or dinner) and breakfast and brunch are easy this time of year because of all of the fresh veggies and fruits. Add eggs (hard boiled if the 5 minutes to scramble is too much certain days) and that is done. It's good to get on this now because you will be treating yourself better as well as setting your kid up for success down the line in terms of food. Edit: for example, this week is Thai rice noodles with mushrooms and tofu, navratan korma and chicken/tofu pot pies. Reuseable (multiple servings each), takes not all of an afternoon to make, stores easily (cook rice or pasta fresh each time when needed) is delicious and tons better then any grocery premade foods. Just google some recipes that are highly rated - it is not hard. rio fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Jul 3, 2013 |
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Jul 3, 2013 18:06
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