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Chicken McNobody posted:
Well...remember, he's been spending all day cleaning up the baby's messes. I don't mean this in the sense of it being a competition for who's more tired--I know, you're working all day too--but good god am I ready for my husband to switch over to doing childcare stuff when he gets home from work. When you're talking to your husband about the need to get out of the house, are you framing it in terms of the baby's needs or his? Because he sounds very depressed and it might be even more depressing to feel like he's screwing up his child by being too down in the dumps to get out of the house. I hope you guys can get to a better place. I know for me the first year or so of parenthood was a strain on my relationship with my husband. It's rough, for sure.
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Sep 24, 2012 15:09
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Chicken McNobody posted:Ugggh the more I think about it the more I guess we are going to have to Sit Down and Have A Talk I hate doing the Have A Talk thing too. Would it help at all to think of it not as a "relationship" talk but as a "we're really getting burned out here with this child-raising situation" talk? Skipdogg is dead-on about finding some kind of part-time help if you can afford it. It's something I wish I'd gotten sorted out!
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Sep 24, 2012 17:47
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I'm not going to leave him or anything, but the big relationship conversations have never been A Thing We Do. I will have to think about how. Thanks everyone for your suggestions.
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skeetied posted:I'm not sure how old he is, but the rule for younger babies is that it's better for them to be too cold. Being too warm is a SIDS risk. Also, is he actually cold? The nurse that leads my mom group said they are only cold if their core is cold. Their limbs may feel like ice cubes and they're still just fine. Yeah, I'd lean towards too cool over too hot. Often bigger babies and toddlers seem surprisingly tolerant of cold.
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Sep 24, 2012 22:24
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Alterian posted:When is a baby old enough to start using a high chair? I'm thinking about putting off buying one until it'll actually get used to avoid a lot of extra crap in our house. My daughter was a little slow on sitting up, so she was around 6-7 months old when we got one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Inglesina-201...ast+table+chair It was great. Doesn't take up floor space, doesn't take up a chair, easy to throw into the car when you're traveling. I wish it was a little easier to clean, though. Maybe they've changed this but with ours you can't remove the whole cloth bit and just throw it in the wash. I hauled it up from the basement a little while ago, preparing for the second kidlet, and there are still some ancient crumbs in the corners. (e. In fact, the Amazon description does say something about a removable cover, so either they've improved it or I'm just too dim to figure mine out.) She took it very seriously: 
Andrias Scheuchzeri fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Sep 27, 2012 |
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Sep 27, 2012 23:42
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:The problem is that we've lost that 'connection'. Hard to explain as a dad but he use to sleep on our chests in the afternoon and nap with us but if he isn't sleeping in his crib he's out and about. I guess maybe it's because we've associated 'crib' with 'sleep now' and the rest of the house with 'play time' or 'eat time' but if he's not in his crib there's no down time with us around in the same room. Is that something people who used no-cry experienced or just something that comes as they get older? I'm thinking it's more his age than your sleep approach. At 11 months, your dude is starting to go from little baby to toddler. It has its bittersweet qualities.
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Oct 29, 2012 21:42
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If you have time (not that it takes much--just stir everything together on a low heat and then chill until you like the consistency) you can make things like really basic cornmeal puddings with lots of whole milk and any kind of baby food mixed in--squash, carrot, banana, whatever. It can be made gloppy or solid.
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Nov 3, 2012 18:16
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Ella Jenkins is pretty great, one of the only children's singers that doesn't make me want to chew my arm off. She's got a very relaxed and non-fussy style, not hyperactive, does a lot of participatory songs that my daughter really got into at age two and three.
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Nov 28, 2012 15:05
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Ugh, poor guy. My daughter has had spells of eczema, and like the folks above have said, cortisone was the main treatment to make her more comfortable. Her doctor prescribed a stronger cortisone ointment than you can get OTC. And you probably know this, but keep an eye out for infections too, especially once he gets old enough to be scratching the itchy places. Knock on wood, my daughter's eczema seems to be clearing up now that she's three and a half. Hopefully your son's will too!
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Dec 2, 2012 14:07
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lllllllllllllllllll posted:So far I've been trying to be stoic and cheerful but showing how this feels is good advice. You can also make it a broader and less personal discussion than "you're hurting my feelings"--with my daughter I'll talk about things like "Hey, when you play with other people it's important to take turns and listen to what they ask you to do. That way they want to keep playing with you. People don't want to keep playing if you're always knocking down their blocks and telling them what to do." If he goes to nursery school or daycare, he's probably heard plenty about "take turns" and "listen" before. If not, it's a good time to start hearing it! It takes a lot of repetitions and practice, though, and sometimes three-year-olds just want to give you a hard time.
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Dec 4, 2012 14:16
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Edit: And I'd never heard of the Elf on the Shelf thing - that's a bit creepy. Santa was never been used as a discipline tool against me, and I'd never think to use it as one against my children. And finding out that Santa isn't real didnt throw me into an existential crisis or make me assume my parents couldn't be trusted, I was just happy that they had taken the time and effort to do something that brought us all so much happiness. (Although I'm still annoyed I never got the toy kitchen I wanted) Pretty much exactly the same for me. I remember really believing in Santa (checking the tree a few days before Christmas in case he came early!) but by the time I figured out he wasn't real it was...so not a big deal. Hardly some sinister parental lie held over my head as a threat for good behavior. It was fun to put out cookies and milk for Santa when I was a little kid and then it was fun to ask loudly "SO, Mom and Dad, what should we leave out for Santa?"
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Dec 10, 2012 14:13
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The kidlet may not eat or remember the cake, but her mom will always remember making her daughter's first birthday cake.  Speaking of food--my daughter's preschool class made a cookbook with a "recipe" dictated by each little kid. It was hilarious. And of course there were some that I'm sure embarrassed the hell out of the parents. One little girl's recipe was for fishsticks, frozen and eaten with your fingers. I'm sure her parents saw that and thought of all the real meals they'd made for for her, but no, everyone gets to know about the frozen fishsticks.
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Dec 23, 2012 21:13
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Oh man, whooping cough.  You're right about staying indoors.Can she do sticker books by herself? Once my daughter (three and a half) got the hang of getting stickers up by herself, those things have bought me many happy peaceful spells. If you can set her up with some crayons for a while, that's pretty low-energy for the parent too.
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Jan 9, 2013 14:57
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Is there anyone who can come in and help you? Because yeah, three-year-olds and resting up don't mix very well and whooping cough is a big deal.
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Jan 9, 2013 21:14
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Papercut posted:There is a vaccination for pertussis, you shouldn't need to worry about spreading it as long as you tell anyone coming over that you have it. Frankly I think the fact that Chandrika's doctor didn't make her get it as a new parent is a huge failure of medical duty (or if she was informed, then just a horrifically irresponsible decision by Chandrika). When I was pregnant with my daughter--the same age as hers--there was no mention of boosting my pertussis vaccine. With my recent second pregnancy that changed, but three years ago they weren't pushing it.
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Jan 9, 2013 23:52
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bamzilla posted:When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, I picked up the book "It's Not the Stork" for my daughter. It's illustrated and talks about every aspect of families - including child birth. It also talks about boy's bodies and girl's bodies and those differences. I figured we'd need that information, too, since she was getting a baby brother. It's graphic (if you think cartoon penises and vaginas are graphic), sure, but I'd rather be truthful and explain things in proper terms than tip toe around the subject. She seemed to accept the information, got a general gist of things and just went on about doing her own thing. Cool, thanks for the recommendation. I mostly lucked out on the uncomfortable-questions front during pregnancy but of course my daughter is curious about why her baby brother has a penis, and why it's just mom who makes milk, etc. I sympathize with copping out. There was just one day when my daughter was really really curious about how the baby was going to come out of mom's tummy, and when she sprung it on me I sort of blanked and didn't feel ready yet to talk about vaginas (and have her spend the next six weeks asking "So why does the baby come out of your VAGINA???"). By the next day I'd gotten to where I was ready to talk about it if she asked, but she never brought it up at all. I'm not proud of wimping out like that so I'm glad to have a good book recommendation to help cover the other questions she has. Incidentally, her conclusion that day was that the baby would come out of my bellybutton, which I think is a pretty common little-kid thought.
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Jan 10, 2013 20:41
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Does anyone have any resources they like for helping preschoolers learn to read? My daughter is very eager to read and spell--she knows all the letters and most of the sounds they make (oh god gently caress English orthography)--and I love working on it with her. But we both get frustrated sometimes running up against some mental connection she doesn't quite have down, and I wish I knew more about how little kids learn written language so I can help better.
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Jan 11, 2013 18:14
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Thanks for the recommendations! I'll look into them.Alhazred posted:There's a method where you and your kid create a text together (a story, poem etc.). This allows the kids to play with letters and words and also gives them a sense of joy when it comes to reading. Yes, I've been figuring the sight-recognition of words was probably more likely to come quicker than really understanding spelling. I haven't been sure, though, whether it's helpful to try the phonetics more or to work with recognizing words by sight. She's totally a pro at reading CAT and DOG by now, and I can happily make cards for things like that. Does anyone have any good sources about the cognitive end of early literacy? I don't want to be pushing her on stuff, it's just that she gets really set on it and then we both get mutually frustrated because I'm not finding the way to explain it that makes sense for her.
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Jan 11, 2013 20:47
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Crane posted:So far my "lead by example" has been working, I'm going to try and go with that until I get some pointers from her friend. If they want me to help them with a video game or do some activity with them and I'm cleaning I say "I wish I could, but I have to do my chores" I don't know, hoping to wiggle into their heads that everyone has to do their chores? I know I could do it by making them clean up before I take them to a resturant but I don't want to bribe them or they won't do anything without a reward. I'm glad things are going well! I didn't have any advice earlier but I read your question and was wondering how you were doing. Do you try saying something like "I wish I could, but I have to do my chores...would you like to help me, and then I'll be done quicker and we can play that game?" They might very well turn you down, but it's potentially a good way to get them in the frame of mind that the chore stuff has to do with a group goal. I wouldn't be so averse to give rewards. If a boss says "hey, you guys got the big project wrapped up early, I brought in some bagels and coffee for the office," do you think that's bribery? Or if the same boss says "you've been working hard, after this big project gets done I'm taking everyone out to lunch," is that bribery? Yes, you can think of it that way, but...eh. And it doesn't have to turn into a thing where they always expect a reward. When you're training animals--and the theory is not so radically different with people--you start by rewarding very small steps. Then you let your expectations expand. "Well, it feels like you're old enough now to handle [taking out the trash, setting the table, whatever] for a week without it being a big deal. How about when you've been doing it for a month we go out to dinner?" Then be sure you actually follow through, of course. Remember, to you, what you want the kids to do is something that ought to be baseline stuff they do without special rewards. To them it's a big change. And it's not a contest. It's about making a group dynamic.
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Jan 12, 2013 14:55
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Using a tall Rubbermaid/Sterilite/whatever bin, like Lyz mentioned, really cuts down on the pees-over-the-side problem. Ditto those enclosed-type boxes.
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Jan 29, 2013 20:15
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Ben Davis posted:No Butt Stuff, I'm really glad you recognize that you don't want to hit or spank. It takes a lot to recognize and admit that you need to change! I strongly recommend "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be." It came to me goon-recommended, and I find it really useful. It covers pretty much everything--crying, tantrums, toilet training, parental anger, etc. The chapter I'm looking at right now is called "Being Human: When You're Not Yet the Parent You Want to Be" and it talks about recognizing anger, controlling it, discussing it with your children afterwards, that sort of thing. I think I'll look into this too! My daughter and I are constantly butting heads. I've always been an anxious person but I had no idea until the last year or so that I could have such a short fuse. It's a lousy feeling. In some ways it actually helped to know that she can have trouble in preschool too with listening, doing what the teachers ask, settling down, etc. It's not just some failure on my part. My mom says she reminds her a lot of my older brother, so I guess it runs in the family.
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Feb 19, 2013 23:07
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ghost story posted:What are y'alls thoughts on places like Little Gym, My Gym, Gymboree and Music Together? Music Together seems the most promising but I wanted to get some feedback. She just turned 7 months. Music Together is really great. I mean, I'm sure the quality and mood of each class depend on the teacher, but I absolutely love the program. On one level it's very serious about music pedagogy and child development, but it's also just plain fun. I also love that it focuses so much on parental involvement--it's not one of those things where half the parents are sitting in the corner chatting. Andrias Scheuchzeri fucked around with this message at 12:10 on Feb 22, 2013 |
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Feb 22, 2013 12:04
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With my daughter, we eventually hit a point where I knew that she knew how to do the potty/bathroom basics (with help, obviously) but the novelty had worn off and she really didn't care much. As you say, the disposables are absorbent so being wet didn't bother her. At that point I found a few days where I felt up to dealing with laundry and had increasingly-long spells of wearing underwear and not diapers. There were a few accidents, but with the underwear she was aware of not liking that sensation, and got motivated to use the potty instead. But again, this was after she really had the hang of doing the bathroom stuff (especially communicating the need verbally).
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Mar 1, 2013 00:18
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Do any of you have experience with a wheezy baby? My little guy, now four months old, has a slight but persistent wheeze. His pediatrician first noticed it at his two-month check-up; a little after that he got a really nasty cold, and an assortment of colds after that, and even though he's in good health right now the wheeze hasn't gone all the way away. His doc got him started on albuterol in a nebulizer to use as needed, but at his four-month check-up she got him started on a steroid course, hoping that we can just clear up whatever this inflammation is for good. Mostly she tells us that this isn't uncommon and that most babies grow out of it...but the fact that it's still going on suggests potential future asthma. Any of y'all dealt with this? At least he's a cheerful little wheezer! That's almost the trouble; it gets going whenever he gets excited and starts flailing around too much.
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Mar 23, 2013 18:47
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I haven't been in this thread in a while, but I skimmed back the last couple of pages and didn't see any discussion of this recently, so: Teeth and breastfeeding. I have an adorable little nine-month-old who is nursing, and OH GOD THE TEETH. The problem isn't exactly that my guy is biting me. He's done that a few times, and I yelped and pulled away. But the way he latches on means that his horrible sharp little teeth are digging into my nipples the whole time, and I can't really keep this up. At nine months can he re-learn latching? Should I find a lactation consultant? I don't want to switch him away from breastmilk this early, but this is not working very well. Dude's drawing blood and my nipples don't get a chance to heal up all the way before the little shark is ready for another round.
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Aug 17, 2013 22:12
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Chickalicious posted:Haha, that's a whole lot of unecessary work for an easily solved problem! Oh, thank you! That's a great link. I hope not to have to deal with pumping. We'll try changing up positions a bit and being nice to my nipples, and hope things heal up a bit soon. Man, his sister didn't have this problem. She bit a few times when she was teething but really quickly worked out a comfortable latch again.
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Aug 18, 2013 00:19
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