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FordCQC posted:Regarding loveychat: Someone posted a link to a website where people could post classified ads looking to replace lost loveys, does anyone have that link? That was me. http://www.lostmylovey.com/index.php/lost-items/listings It's a last resort, if you can't find it at a Target near you, and Amazon is a bust. Re: Sleep chat and nursing etc. Side nursing and sleeping with Liam was an absolute miracle. I slept so much more than I did with Tim. We did it most nights until he was 3-4 months old. I would go bed in my bed, then with the first waking, go in and sleep with Liam in the spare bed for the rest of the night. So. Much. Sleep. Then, around 4 months, I started with a "boobs are food" sort of approach. I'd go in and nurse when he wanted, but it was right back to his crib instead of us both passing out. But if he woke up again, or was agitated, we just slept together again. It honestly didn't take more than a couple weeks for him to lay right back down on his own, and stop side nursing with me. Then we gradually moved on to, "let's see if a paci will do, instead of a feed" approach, to back the feedings down to one instead of multiple. If he took the paci, great! If not, he ate, no fuss, no problem. (Tim was the same way, only with pumped bottles instead of nursing.) By about 7-8 months or so, it was one down-to-business feeding a night, then right back into the crib, until about one-ish. Hmm. I want to say Tim mostly slept through by about 18 months, and Liam was sooner. 14 months or so. Frenchnewwave, I too am a big fan of the No Cry book. It helped me tremendously with Tim, and helped me start Liam off on a better foot with sleeping right from the start--to avoid having to back a toddler down from disruptive sleep habits in the first place. It's pretty much what I described--you try a small, new thing. A tiny change. It worked? Huzzah! No luck this time? Go back to the usual, and try it again next time. Then change a tiny bit more. Bit by bit, things change for good, and no one has to cry anything out. BUT, here's the thing. There's only a sleep "problem" if YOU have a problem. If you get up multiple times to nurse the baby, irrespective of age, and you're cool with that, then all is well. If you side nurse and sleep with her and like it--awesome! Other people can suck it! But if YOU are dragging and need more sleep, then start making gradual changes. It's really up to you--and no child goes off to kindergarten needing to get nursed or rocked or whatever to sleep, so don't beat yourself up worrying about bullshit like that.  Babies are rough. There is zero shame in doing what's easiest during the night. Good luck, and this too shall pass. (You'll wake up tomorrow and be attending preschool graduation wondering where your baby went!  Kindergarten in August--where did the time go? And Liam starts nursery school!)
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May 25, 2013 06:53
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EVG posted:Baby shower coming up for a coworker/friend's first! They are planning something fun and making the baby shower double as a 'reveal' party- they will get the gender from the nurse but not look at it, and have a bakery custom bake a cake with white frosting but colored cake inside, so when they cut the cake, everyone will know if it's a boy or girl! A seahorse is wonderful. As for other things, I like do an "essentials" basket for baby shower gifts. Especially since you don't know the gender yet. A nice cloth-lined wicker or woven basket filled with baby lotion and baby wash, butt paste, baby tylenol drops, baby gas drops, wipes, baby vicks rub, first aid kit with a nose bulb and clippers, baby vicks plug-ins for the wall, etc. You can pack the bottom of the basket with diapers too, and then they have a nice storage basket. I know it's not glamorous, but I find it to be extremely well received and helpful. Especially since some of the things, a new mom may not think to have on hand in advance. Like when you need gas drops, you NEED them now and don't want to take a trip to the store. Lullabee, I agree with rectal cushion. At three months, teething is certainly not unheard of, but they get fussy for reasons that are a complete mystery to us, and kick the drool into high gear anyway. Tim wore a bib non-stop from newborn until just about one because he was just a drool monster, and he didn't cut teeth until he was 10 months. She may not be teething at all, just going through a cranky phase.
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May 28, 2013 15:08
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EVG posted:I can't remember if I originally posted in here or in the pregnancy thread asking for baby shower gift help, but someone suggested a baby first aid box and I loved the idea - because you really don't want to have to go get something WHEN you need it. And it's a nice, practical gift! No teething stuff. I like Baby Vicks Vaporub--it smells nicer and works awesome, for babies and grownups. It's rosemary-lavender instead of menthol-eucalyptus, so it's not so burny and intense. Also, Target brand has one that is half the cost, and just as awesome. (I buy generic meds whenever possible. Brand baby Tylenol is $6, Target brand is $2.) Also, Johnson's makes a vapor bath that smells the same. Even though it's expensive, I love, LOVE the Johnson's Bedtime bath wash and lotion. It's the purple bottles. It's lavender scented and it smells heads and tails above the generic. Seriously, that stuff smells great. Washcloths might be nice too. Glad you liked my suggestion!
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Jun 3, 2013 16:27
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/\/\ Getting dressed means being still when he'd rather be---OOOOOHHH LOOK! A TOY! Also, getting a diaper change means being extra still and---HEY LOOK AT THAT DUST MOLECULE!!  It's not independence so much as everything else is just so much more exciting. (The real independence stuff comes a little later.) Liam was, and still is, bad about diapers. He's a bit more than 2, and 36 pounds, and likes to kick. Hard. Has caught me off guard and gotten me in sternum and stomach a few times. Try giving him a cool toy that only gets brought out for diaper changes to distract him for a couple minutes. Something flashy with lights and music. With the teeth thing, you brought back a memory. When Tim was about that age, he would give me "kisses" by snuggling up and biting my chin. I mean, clamping down hard with his 3 or 4 teeth. But he was so happy about it--all smiles.
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Jun 7, 2013 03:51
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Yeah, Liam is huge. Started out 9.5 pounds, and just shot up from there. Mr. Cookie and I just measured him and he's about 37 inches and 37 pounds. (At his one year, he was 33 inches and 28.5 pounds) At the pediatrician's, he has a little widget on his netbook that gives the percentiles, and for Liam they just flash "high" in red.  He's solidly in 3T clothing, but even 4T for shirts isn't terribly big. Tim, on the other hand, has just cracked the 40 pound barrier and was 42 inches at his 5 year check up. Still wears 4T bottoms, 5T or XS/S tops. He's in the 30th percentile for weight and 50th for height. Last night folding clothes I moved some shorts directly from Tim's pile to Liam's. They're just different. Really, really different. Mr. Cookie and I are both really average--not particularly big or tall. Tim is in keeping with Dad's build, but Liam is just big. Edit: Have a couple pictures from March (Liam's birthday) Liam doesn't gently caress around when it comes to cake.  And here he is wearing Daddy's size 11 monster shoes.  Looking at the two of them, if I wasn't obviously there when they came out, I'd swear that not only were they not related at all, but neither looks like they came from me. I made the Umizoomi cake myself. 
AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Jun 8, 2013 |
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Jun 8, 2013 01:39
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newts posted:Anyone have any tips for dealing with a whiny three year old who also doesn't listen? I know those are two separate issues. It's just hard to reward good behavior when there isn't any For the whining, I use the "Mommy can't understand you when you use that voice" approach--delivered with total bewilderment. "You must not be using a nice voice, because I can't understand your words. Mommy can only understand nice voices." Now, if they are whining after you've addressed whatever the issue is, then that's different. One time of "What did Mommy already say?" or "I'll say this one more time, _____, now no more whiny voice. It's not nice." Then if it continues I move straight to "You can sit here and have a time out until you're done using that not-nice voice and talking about ___." As for the not listening...sigh. If I could fix that, I'd be less frustrated each day and be rich to boot.
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Jun 8, 2013 15:14
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Ironsolid, I second everything Finnoula says regarding high-caloric needs. Especially since it sounds like your budget is tight, even Fiber One bars by the case from Sams aren't a really economic way to add good calories in (and they're full of sugar besides). My cousin's child has special needs, and needs as many calories in small packages as possible. (She has issues with texture, and can't eat large amounts.) And she has a peanut allergy. So they do Sunbutter (sunflower seed butter), she drinks half-and-half instead of milk, or drinks Pediasure, a spoonful of milk powder gets hidden in lots of foods, and butter or olive oil get mixed into everything else. A small bowl of mashed potatoes gets bulked out with milk powder and butter, for instance. If you utilized strategies like this, then everyone would be eating "the same", even if your CP child's portion has been altered a bit. All of the posting so far has been solid advice, and I wholeheartedly agree with the tone and advice given. The 7 year old sounds like the odd man out. A household where there are different foods for each person is just a recipe for disaster. Feed everyone the same, as much as possible. I commend you heartily on your weight loss, and wanting to keep your family eating healthily, but really, everyone needs to be on the same playing field. It really does sound, despite your desire and efforts otherwise, that you are creating food issues for the kids. Try wiping it all away, and only having stuff in the house that everyone can have, all the time. No more restrictions. Don't want them going sugar bonkers? Just don't have sugary stuff regularly around if setting limits creates problems. I also agree with Sockmuppet about your micromanaging the food intake of the kids. I get that it comes from your own weight loss efforts (I lost 45lbs last summer), but you have to keep that calorie counting, fat gram counting, fiber intake counting stuff away from the kids.
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Jun 9, 2013 19:40
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DwemerCog That's easy! You deal with it by swaddling her to sleep during the day. Seriously, she's just a newborn--if she likes being wrapped up to sleep, then just do it. Lots of babies like/need swaddling until they are much older--that's why there are so many products for swaddling a larger baby. When she's been awake for a bit, like an hour, and it's time to sleep again, just wrap her up and go with it. She'll let you know when she's had enough of that. When she starts fighting it instead of settling down, then she wants to stop. Professor Bananas I would just roll with it. If he likes to suck purees from those pouches, then give him one. (Or don't if you don't want to, whatever.) Totally still put him in his high chair to offer food--that's where you want him to associate having food and eating meals. Continue to offer finger foods, and whatever else you like and let him do as he pleases with them. He'll be fine. He nurses plenty, (s'up fellow huge baby-haver) so whatever he gets in his mouth is bonus. Alternatively, he'll get more interested in eating as he gets hungrier and nursing just isn't doing the trick (that was my youngest). It's all good to do now so he continues to get used to the different tastes and textures of food. ghost story Rug burn sucks. We went through that for a bit. After a while, their skin gets tougher and less sensitive. I used to lay a big, old, comforter out on the floor for crawling and romping when the kids were really little, for that exact reason. Give that a go. Oxford Comma That pirate ship is pimp as all hell, and my boys (2 and 5) would go apeshit over it. dreamcatcherkwe, I think, hit the nail on the head. I listen to that whining for TV bullshit at least once a day. Then it's time for Mommy to drop what I'm doing and *really play*. Time to play store guys!! Don't want to play store? Well, Mommy is going to play store and it'd sure be a shame if no one played with me; time to set up the canned goods! And off I go. Doesn't take but a minute for us all to be playing together. Put on a eye patch, start talking like a pirate, and playing. Give zero fucks and really get into it. They will play with you in no time, and have ideas for future play by themselves. And in conclusion, Slo-Tek, that's totally gross and made my fillings hurt reading it. Tim would do the same thing, I think. (Psst, what you do with that is make whiskey sours. One can of lemonade concentrate, one can of whiskey, one can of water, one can of white soda. Potent and addictive!)
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Jun 12, 2013 17:12
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Re: Earwax. Liam has the most disgusting ears ever, except for Tim. The ped or NP will clean their ears out at check-ups and have told me that I should do nothing about it myself. It's just how they are, and it's fine.
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Jun 15, 2013 01:29
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I think there's some element of cultural/generational poo poo a play with all the "leave your baby alone, you'll spoil them" stuff. It's how our parent's generation was likely raised, at least to an extent. Remember, when Dr. Spock's book came out, it was revolutionary that he advocated actually paying attention to your child: "In 1946, Spock published his book The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which became a bestseller. Its message to mothers is that "you know more than you think you do."[2] By 1998 it had sold more than 50 million copies. It has been translated into 39 languages. Later he wrote three more books about parenting. Spock advocated ideas about parenting that were, at the time, considered out of the mainstream. Over time, his books helped to bring about major change. Previously, experts[citation needed] had told parents that babies needed to learn to sleep on a regular schedule, and that picking them up and holding them whenever they cried would only teach them to cry more and not to sleep through the night (a notion that borrows from behaviorism). They were told[citation needed] to feed their children on a regular schedule, and that they should not pick them up, kiss them, or hug them, because that would not prepare them to be strong and independent individuals in a harsh world. Spock encouraged parents to see their children as individuals, and not to apply a one-size-fits all philosophy to them." So I think you see throw backs still with attitudes and "advice" sometimes. But I agree with hepscat in that perception via hindsight is probably not reality for these folks. Like how the magical, much revered, 50's weren't really like Leave It To Beaver for those living them. Or maybe it is in a couple cases. I know one set of parents who were very aloof with their two children, and now as post 30 adults, you can tell. Still looking for Mommy's approval.
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Jun 22, 2013 14:16
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Mr Darcy, he doesn't understand a word coming out of your mouth. You have the formula down for when he's 2 1/2, not 12 months. Just babyproof and redirect. He is not capable of even having a concept of right and wrong. I'd put a gate in front of your TV because teaching him not to touch it is all well and good, and will not be even vaguely possible for two more years. Hell, Tim's 5 and he knows full and well what he can and cannot touch, and of course has moments where he can't help himself. Liam turned 2 in March, and we are at the brief, dog commands type stage. Things are either "No/Stop! Dangerous!" or "No hit/throw/whatever! Not nice/fragile/ouchie/whatever!" followed by some redirection to what he CAN do. We'll do a brief "time in" on the couch and take a break if he just won't give it up and the screaming is bad. I think even a toddler isn't selectively deaf in order to get away with things. That's a preschooler. I really think up until about 3, they are just too much ID and flakyness and really don't always remember that you just told them an hour ago not to Tarzan off the curtains. It's why we repeat ourselves until we're ready to have an aneurysm.
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Jun 24, 2013 13:48
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/\/\ Were you feeding a special formula--like soy or something? Because regular formulas are cow's milk based and contain lactose already. So if you were giving him a regular formula, he's been drinking lactose this whole time. That being said, babies seem to get A Thing when the phase of the moon changes, or when it's Tuesday, or when you don't sing the proper lullaby, or click your heels three times after putting them to bed. It could be his changing diet in general, or just his gut maturing and changing on it's own. If baby gas drops don't help, you can try pushing (gently!) his knees up to his chest/tummy to encourage him to pass gas. If he's a morning pooper, I don't really know you you'd go about changing when he poops.
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Jun 26, 2013 19:41
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Dear Prudence posted:Read this and realize you're not alone and you're not a horrible parent. Kids have an inate ability to press the right buttons. That column was the best. I can picture every single moment, and put myself right in his desperate, pissed off shoes. Oxford Comma, we have all been there. Tim is five and has the ability to reduce me to the dad from Deadspin. With the exact same horrible, (normal, he's five), infuriating, (normal, he's five), attitude and (normal, he's five) behavior his little girl showed. (See, I tell myself it's normal, he's five, over and over and overandoverandover like a goddamned mantra to diffuse the rage.) I have totally lost my poo poo, for all the same reasons and with all the same pathos. (It reaches the point where I've completely lost control when I drag him into his room, and slam the door behind me.) It's not often, and I feel like poo poo afterwards. I'm the adult here for chrissake! We then talk and I apologize for being so angry and not using my words properly, and usually throw in a little "let's try harder to listen to Mommy when I use my nice voice." Kids live moment to moment, and I try to as well. Just because I had a horrible Mommy moment, it does not define my entire parenthood. (Also a personal mantra.) I move forward, and so do they. It's all we can do.
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Jul 1, 2013 19:33
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/\/\ Yeah, no water necessary. That's silly. Babies are on an all liquid diet already! The only time I've ever seen a baby given water for heat was when my friend was adopting from Pakistan and they were staying in an upstairs, un-air-conditioned flat in summertime. In Pakistan. Where it would cool off to the low 90's at night! (So hot, eventually she bought a window unit out of pocket as a gift for the place so she could have some relief.) She would give her an ounce of cool bottled water here and there between feeds.
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Jul 5, 2013 22:43
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LuckyDaemon--kids just like to hear themselves talk. And they enjoy being the center of attention. It's not a bug, it's a feature. Try pushing the turn taking angle. At dinner, have totally mock conversations between all three of you, where you emphasize taking turns. Dad says, "I had a good day at work! We had pizza for lunch. Mommy's turn!" Mom says, "My favorite part of today was building blocks! Your turn!" And give Short Stuff a chance to say something, then move back to Daddy's turn. Try a couple rounds at dinner each night. Then, it's more like a game, and hopefully when you really need him to hush for a minute, you can say "It's the doctor's turn to speak, your turn will be next." and he might be more cooperative. At least he'll start to get that speaking is like everything else in life--everybody gets a turn, not just him. We deal with this with Tim, but take a much different tack with him being five. He mostly talks over Dad at dinner for attention. He will be sitting there, with nothing to say until the instant Dad starts having any sort of adult conversation with me. Then suddenly he has to talk right now. Typical kid stuff. He gets told to wait his turn, and we cut it short so he gets a turn in a minute. If he is particularly bad, I will purposely talk over him, loudly, about the dumbest poo poo I can muster. "I like broccoli because it's green. I think it will make me turn green if I eat it all the time. I like biscuits too. Biscuits and broccoli both start with B..." He will then tell me (usually after he laughs at me) I'm not being nice because he's talking. Then I ask him if he was being nice talking over Daddy, and he gets it. Liam, also a bit more than two, has the Stewies hardcore (Mommy, mommy, mom,mama,mom,mommymommamamommymomomomommama) and I cannot stop it. I think he just likes to hear himself say variations of mommy. Acknowledge him, ignore him, whatever, the mommies keep coming.
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Jul 11, 2013 19:16
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/\/\ Haha! My boys say "wiener"; they got it from Dad (I know, I know, we'll work on it later.) The both of them are proud as all hell of them. Liam will just grab himself after bath and say "Wook-it my WIENER Mommy! It's where my peepee is!!" Even Tim, as young as three would tell me how his wiener gets big sometimes, because "it's awesome."  As the only girl in the house, I think I'm in for a bumpy road down the line.
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Jul 11, 2013 20:41
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VorpalBunny posted:I was pretty bummed to start adding formula, like I failed as a mom. But, she's happy and healthy as ever, and I can actually now leave her with grandparents and babysitters without a time constraint for nursing. I still nurse her in the mornings, evenings, and as much as I can during the day. But, in all honesty, adding formula to the mix has really made my juggling her and her toddler brother a lot more manageable. I can feed her with a bottle while she's in the stroller or carseat while entertaining my toddler. I can drop the bottle if her brother is acting up or something. It's been a tough pill to swallow, letting go of my mommy ideal of nursing for 12 months, but it has honestly worked out for the best. We've found some good deals on formula, and my pediatrician gave us a ton to start with, so it hasn't cost us much either. This is pretty much how I felt with Liam. After doing so much pumping and bottle feeding and formula switching (reflux!) with Tim (who also would have happily starved himself), Liam just latched right on and nursed away. It was great. But he was hungry. A LOT. A full feed every 2-3 hours--fine for a newborn, but he kept that up, month after month. I was pumping during naptime to up my supply, and then feeding him an hour later anyway. He gained like a little fat champ, but I felt like literally all I was doing was nursing or pumping. That might have been okay if I just had Liam--but I also have Tim. Once I started just giving a bottle for a feed once or twice a day, or at night, everything got easier, for exactly the reasons you said. I supplemented about a large can a month's worth--which isn't too bad, I don't think. I didn't even have to buy any until he was about 5 months old because of sample cans and whatnot. I used the Target generic formula since there was no feeding problems with Liam (so much cheaper!!). I felt badly about it at first, and even felt compelled to fib to Dad about cracking open the formula (I know, how irrationally stupid.) But I felt like I was admitting a failure--my husband just kind of laughed at me, in a kind sort of way. Full tummies are all that matter--irrespective of the kind of milk. I honestly think that letting it go and giving a formula bottle here and there was the reason I nursed Liam for ~10 months instead of bailing sooner, due to him just being such a demanding feeder.
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Jul 18, 2013 16:49
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Axiem posted:Regarding amber necklaces: how the gently caress would that even work? They chew on the amber, because you know, it's a good idea for kids to chew on rocks? They are supposed to be homeopathic. Amber is supposed help their teething pain just by wearing the necklace via magic or something.  We used half frozen wet washcloths, and big carrots kept in a glass of water in the fridge for the kids to chew on.
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Jul 20, 2013 16:30
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Re: Desitin This stuff It get's greasy marks out of clothes, and sticky things off of literally anything. It's the best.
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Jul 23, 2013 01:40
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Lullabee posted:how do I make something a lovey? My mommy friends swear by them but I have zero clue how to do it. It is just like Pavlov's dogs. Pick something for a lovey. Both my boys use one of those stuffy-blanket things that look like a stuffed animal top with a small blanket bottom. And a seahorse. From the time they were very tiny (but you could start any time) I nursed/fed them with the lovey. Put the lovey in the crib with them to look at. Cuddled them with the lovey. Pretty much did all lead up to all sleepy times with the lovey in tow--and played the seahorse during all these times too. Nursing to sleep? With lovey in arm and seahorse playing. Any sort of walking, rocking, cuddling that was in anyway a lead up to sleep had the lovey and seahorse playing. You want them to associate A Thing with sleep. Then, once the association is made, you can give them A Thing (and play seahorse) and that makes them sleepy. Then they have them all night long to soothe themselves back to sleep when they naturally wake up a bit. My five year old (!!! Did I just type that?! About to be a kindergartener!) still uses his lovey and seahorse to sleep. Goes to sleep with his face right on seahorse because he likes the light. AS far as age appropriate toys go, I have never looked at the recommended ages for anything. I just used my own judgement: Is there anything that can poke? Small enough to choke on? Anything that could be chewed off easily? Because like iwik said, the recommendations are often for developmental stages. Anything I'd give a 6 month old, I'd give a 4 month old. Who cares if they can't work it properly? So long as it's not a hazard and they like it, that's all that really matters.
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Jul 27, 2013 01:48
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Oxford Comma posted:My (almost) five-year old is pretty scared of the dark. He calls me or his mom a couple times a night, after being put to bed. He wants to come down and sleep with us, but...no. My five year old hates the dark. He has a nightlight, and his seahorse (this is why he goes to sleep with his face right on the thing). He also has a little lantern that he sets on his night stand and turns on. I go in and turn it off after he's asleep. Sometimes I leave his door open so he can see through the hallway/landing that we have a light on in our bedroom and he's not alone. (But if he decides to have a bunch of getting up shenanigans, that door gets closed.) We've had multiple talks about how even at night in the dark, he's never alone, and Mommy and Daddy never leave him alone. We've looked around his room with a flashlight to show that the same things that are there in the light are there in the dark too--that the dark doesn't change anything in his room. Patience, reassurance, and repetition. Tim has gotten much better, so long as he has all of his little lights with him and his cadre of stuffed animals and such.
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Jul 27, 2013 16:05
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Good Lord, diaper changes. I cannot wait until Liam is potty trained and we are done with this nonsense. (Not like he'll be potty trained for another 6-12 months, but still.) He kicks. He crocodile death rolls. He howls "NOOOOOOOO! No wipe me!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't need diaper!" He would rather have pee run down his leg. We were harvesting potatoes out in the garden about a week ago, and he had taken a monster dump that I didn't notice right away, since he was covered with mud anyway. Then I smelled him. Then I realized some of that mud, wasn't mud. Oops. He then proceeds to use all his 2 year old persuasive argument skills to try and tell me that only his "knee" was "gwoss" and just to wipe his knee--but leave his diaper. I hosed him down with the hand shower, and THEN ran his bath. Good grief.
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Aug 4, 2013 19:58
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/\/\ What a tremendous rear end in a top hat. I would have turned into a cursing ball of fury. The wrongness of the sentiment aside, you don't touch other people's children like that. Or at all, for that matter. "He'll get shot for it one day." If so, only because fuckwits like you exist. Please crawl back under your rock and die.
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Aug 5, 2013 13:20
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Alterian, we have two of these. The mister and I both drive mid size sedans (Saturn and Camry) and they fit just fine, forward and rear facing. The only thing is, when they were rear facing, I recommend having them behind the passenger seat unless you drive with your seat back very upright. Bamzilla, that made me chuckle because my front end was clipped when Liam was about one and he thought it was a riot. As soon as the car went "thunk" and shook, he just erupted in fits of laughter and said "Mo'!!" No, no more car accidents!
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Aug 10, 2013 00:47
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Hobo Erotica, that is a cute baby. And nothing you described is like the No Cry book. That book is about undoing sleep habits that aren't any good for anyone, and establishing good sleep habits to take their place in an incremental, gradual manner that doesn't lead to a whole lot of wailing and unhappiness on the part of the baby/toddler. I'd like to type a bit on the difference between a "schedule" and a "routine". What you described is a schedule, even though you called it a routine. Schedules follow the clock. Schedules don't really lead to a whole lot of good things with the sub-one year old crowd. They're developing so rapidly, their needs and abilities change dramatically every few weeks. As for routines, I am a huge believer in routines. My boys had basic routines pretty much from day one. The most basic routine we had right from the beginning was: --wake --eat --be awake for a bit and do whatever --sleep Change diapers as needed. Notice the lack of times attached to any of that. That is the difference. Wake up is whenever they wake up. They eat their fill. They have Awake Time for as long they can handle (watch for early cues!) Then they sleep for however long they sleep. Maybe one nap is an hour and the next one is two. Maybe this time they are going strong and awake for a long while, and the next go around they are face rubbing after only 40 minutes. Whatever. And every few weeks during a growth spurt, they will be more hungry and want to nurse more and longer. That demand is what ups mom's supply. Babies thrive on routine, as in doing the same things in the same order all the time. Not on a schedule that requires them to sleep from this time to that time or whatever. I don't know how rigid you are actually being, but all will be well if you just roll with the baby's cues a bit more. If you are shooting for 7p-7a sleep, which is a reasonable goal, then put Little Bit down for a final sleep (with the bedtime routine) at whatever time their sleep/wake cycle for that day coincides with a reasonable bedtime. Could be 6. Or 6:30, or not till 7:30. It'll wiggle a bit from day to day, until their sleep is more consistent. Then every feed after that is a dark nightime feed until a vaguely reasonable time in the morning. By the time he's one, he could reasonably be on a 7p-7a sleep schedule, with a mid morning nap, and a mid afternoon nap. But at 9 weeks, that's not happening now. And there will be plenty of days that are wildly off kilter due to his development, or the phase of the moon, or the fact that it's Monday. Just roll with it.
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Aug 12, 2013 19:59
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 Use your words. Use your words. Use your words! USE YOUR GODDAMN WORDS! I don't know, but Liam is the same way. I thought it was a product of being the second and having an older one to grapple with. Or it's a product of being two, who loving knows. I just keep at it, and I figure he'll get it. He tells Tim to use his words, so I know he kind of gets it at least sometimes. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. This may be true, but whoever said that didn't have a two year old. I would keep intervening and encouraging the kind of behavior you want to see--other kids shenanigans be damned. I don't think a gaggle of two year olds can work things out themselves without intervention. If something particularly egregious happens, it isn't unreasonable for you to tell the other little one that hitting isn't nice or whatever is appropriate. Or draw their parent's attention to the behavior. Or very loudly (within earshot of Mom or Dad ) say that until little Suzy remembers that hands are not for hitting, we are going to play with someone else, and just withdraw your child from the situation for a few minutes. Some days I feel like I'm going to parent the ever living HELL out my kids, by God, because I will not raise two jerks! I will tell them to behave nicely and speak politely until it sinks into their little block heads, or die trying. And Papercut,  thanks. Just hindsight and retrospect talking.
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Aug 13, 2013 02:30
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Big Alf posted:My daughter has just turned one and over the last month or so really hasn't been interested in her food. She has always had a healthy appetite in the past so it has become noticable. We are not overly concerned yet as she is a very healthy size and weight but obviously something we want to keep an eye on. Has anyone else had experience of this? Like Amelia said, around one their growth slows and they don't eat as much. Also, when it's hot, I'm not interested in eating much, so she might not be either. If she's hydrated and not complaining, don't worry about it so much. But you don't have to stick just to familiar foods anymore. At one, she can eat just about anything that's cut up small and is soft enough to chew. I would start giving her a spoonful of whatever you're eating and letting her give it a go. She could be bored, or could start getting herself in a rut where she might not want to try new things. Hookerbot, man, potty training can kiss my rear end. How old is Connor? It sounds like getting sick put him off his game. You could try going back to pull ups for a couple weeks and just encourage him to use the toilet--and let it go if he doesn't want to or make it. Tim was so recalcitrant about the whole thing (and still is!) At FIVE he will still poop in his pants because he waits until the absolute last minute to RUN to the bathroom and has been holding it in for so long he can't make it in time. He did this to me four days in a row a couple weeks back and I was about ready to kill him. So now we have a "try to poop every morning as soon as you wake up" rule, and he can't come down and get breakfast until he at least gives it an honest try. Not a sit there for two seconds and tell me he doesn't have to go, but a real try. He goes more often than not, and at least I feel reasonably confident he won't poop his pants at school then. As far as the dummy goes, I dunno. My kids LOVED theirs (Liam still does), but I know some kids just don't ever seem to take to them. When Liam was born, the first thing he did was put his thumb in his mouth and go at it. I mean, he was less than an hour old, and we were in recovery and I had just unwrapped him a little bit to nurse him for the first time. As soon as he got his little hand free, he stuck his thumb up, and right into his mouth it went. Then, I thought to myself, no way do I want the orthodontics bills of a thumb sucking child. And furthermore, how do you break them of it? It's not like you can take their thumb away! So from then on, every time he stuck his thumb in his mouth, I just gently removed his little hand and stuck in a num. Every time. He'd spit it out a lot, and go back to the thumb, but I'd just give him a num over and over and over. By about two months, he had forgotten about his thumb. So maybe just keep giving her one, over and over and over? Try a couple different shapes/brands/varieties? My kids always hated the ones from the hospital and liked the orthodontic, wide flat shaped nipples instead.
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Aug 20, 2013 20:47
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flashy_mcflash posted:Hi friends, quick question - is there much point in establishing a relatively firm sleep routine before teething starts? Sydney is five months and is definitely in the early stages of teething though nothing's broken through the gum yet. She's generally a really good sleeper and will go down for several hours if we start her bedtime routine around 7ish (night diaper, feeding, gentle bouncing her on the yoga ball until she passes out) and put her in the co-sleeper around 8 or so and will only wake when it's time to breastfeed again. Set your routine and keep it. Stick to it as much as possible, but just know that during teething or other developmental stages, things might be off for some nights--like not wanting to go down, or waking more frequently. I suggest Tylenol. But routine, routine, routine. It's soothing to them to know what's coming. Bath, book, boob, bed. Same routine from birth to now, two and five years running. (Minus the boob part--that got cut out a while ago. )
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Aug 21, 2013 02:22
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hookerbot 5000 posted:Thanks Liam is two and a half (did I just type that?!) and we couldn't be farther away from potty training. I don't think he has the vaguest concept--I was going to give it a try closer to three. Two and a half is not an unreasonable age at all, but it is pretty little yet; I just wouldn't sweat the regression. I didn't even bother to start with Tim until he was three. He just wasn't interested, and as a bonus was unconcerned with the state of his diaper. Pee running down his leg? No worries. And I cloth diapered Tim until he started nursery school! What was that bit about cloth diapered children train sooner because they can feel they're wet or messy? Ha! They have to care for that to work. Liam is the same way. I am dreading starting him, considering how much of a hassle Tim was (and sometimes continues to be) about it. I think I read somewhere that boys tend to train later than girls? At least, from the children I know, that has been anecdotally true.
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Aug 21, 2013 19:45
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Who's got two thumbs and a kid with an attitude? This chick!  Seriously, what is it about five that has made Tim act bipolar all the time? He will go from normal and sweet to full on rear end in a top hat in 2.2 seconds. Last night, after having a really good day, I told him he could go "help" Daddy hang drywall after he ate his dinner. (Construction projects with Daddy are awesome.) No big deal, right? Wrong! He stomped around and yelled and generally went full bore jerk for almost an hour. "You're making me angry!! I SAID I wanted to help Daddy in the basement NOW!" "If you just apologize, then I'll feel better and you'll feel better and I can go in the basement."  "If you just give me what I want, THEN I'LL STOP BEING ANGRY!" "I'll give you a choice: You open the basement door, and I'll stop being ANGRY, or keep it closed and I will BE ANGRY SOME MORE!!!" Jesus Tapdancing Christ! I just said eat dinner first! It's like having a loud, less charming, Pigeon from the Mo Willems books stomping around. I just ignore his poo poo when he does this, or send him to his room until he is calm again. Then he gets reminded that getting angry and yelling never, ever gets him his way, and then I deny him whatever prompted the fit in the first place. Like last night. I told him that he wasted too much time being angry and not eating dinner, and since he made the choice to be angry he couldn't go downstairs at all anymore. (Happy now?! GAH!!) "Being angry never gets you your way. Maybe next time you'll make a better choice." Cue another balls out fit. I'm an awesome parent.  Anyone else's little kids fly off the goddamn handle? Should I handle this differently? Because I am living the definition of insanity over here.
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Aug 29, 2013 17:08
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What is a good MP3 player for a kid? Something with really intuitive controls, tough, and not terribly expensive?
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Sep 2, 2013 00:28
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/\/\ I had no idea. We have two, and one has been going strong for over five years, and the other for over two. I don't use recharables, and we have never had a single problem. I looked at your links, and it seems like the problem occurs with rechargables exclusively. They can cause problems in other devices as well. (I am so negative with regards to rechargables. We have had the shittiest luck over the years, with a couple of different systems, and I am just done with them.  )
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Sep 4, 2013 19:17
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Thanks, Oracle. Tim does not buy into the choice between A and B bit anymore--I've been doing that since he was very little, and lately he has stopped responding positively. It used to work (it works for Liam), but now Tim will tell me he doesn't want those choices, after much verbal finagling that a lawyer would be proud of to try and get whatever he actually wants. Or he'll give me a "choice" in response (those are never good.) Like giving me the "choice" of doing what he wants, or he'll be ANGRY some more. I am a believer in the philosophy, however, and I've been trying to step up my game in that department. I try explaining priorities. Like breakfast, every loving morning this week: : We need breakfast to have a good morning at school. Good breakfast makes good listeners and happy friends. Can't have fun if you're hungry. Pick a food and eat it quickly, then you'll have time to play before the microwave beeps. (To signal it's time to get dressed. I use the timer approach for lots of things.) If you take too long, there's no time to play. : I'm busy with my dinos. I can have fun if I'm hungry. I don't get hungry at school. (Runs off) : Tim come back here. First eat, then play. Do you want cereal or eggs? Remember yesterday? We talked about this.: I SAID, I'm busy!: Remember yesterday when I picked you up and you were angry I didn't have a snack in my bag for you because you were so hungry? You only ate two bites of granola bar for breakfast yesterday. We eat breakfast before school. First eat, then play. No eat, no play.And so it takes 20 minutes to agree to a food, and another 20 to eat said food, plus more yelling about how he doesn't want eggs anymore and changed his mind, then he gets dressed with no playtime left and is ANGRY some more. Liam, OTOH, shovels a bowl of cereal down in 5 minutes and spends the rest of the before-school morning scampering around, doing his usual Liam nonsense. The two year old is easier to get ready. It is absolutely a problem of [mine/with me] teaching him how to better express/work through his emotions. Actually, it's two problems. Working through his emotions when he's being recalcitrant with me when he needs to cooperate and do what I've asked, and working through his own frustrations when toys/Liam/playing isn't going exactly how he wants. I think they're different, now that I'm typing about it. I try to get him to stop and think, and verbally talk him through a positive thought process: "I can see the blocks aren't staying together how you want them to; it is frustrating when things don't work out how we want. Take a breath. Stop and think. Does screaming at the blocks make them work? Would you like help? Is there another way to build them? Do you want to take a break and do something else?" With me, down on his level, speaking calmly, waiting for any sort of answer. This type of exchange is usually met with something along the lines of "I don't want to take a breath!!! I just want the stupid blocks to do WHAT I WAAAAAANNNNT!!!" screeched at my face. Take. A. Break. Tim. At least half the time, he keeps up the screaming, stomping BS for way too long and I send him to his room "until he feels better." He sets Liam off, and I'm not going to have him yelling and throwing poo poo around the playroom. We talk later about how Mommy is here to help you, trying to help you, how screaming never helps anything, how we need to take breaths and take breaks when we feel angry, use words, etc. but I have no idea what sinks in. His emotions are so close to the surface. I've never told him his feelings are wrong, but I'm sure I can work harder at acknowledging them more explicitly. I will start every single exchange that way from now on. I feel like I need a drink and a helmet some days. Goddammit Tim, Mommy loves you and just wants you to be happy. Just cooperate more, please.
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Sep 19, 2013 02:57
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/\/\I don't think at all that Tim is capable of grasping no breakfast=hunger=crappy morning. That's why I press the issue every school morning. When he gets a bit older, he can make the choice to not eat if he wants and figure it out. If there's not a natural consequence to not cooperating, then he gets a time out in the chair, or goes to his room if he starts turning it up to eleven. I wave back and forth between "Do this, or time out. No discussion. No attitude." and trying to give an [brief, simple] explanation for why he needs to do whatever. I guess I get weary of feeling like an rear end in a top hat and think, "He's bright. If he understands why, maybe that will help." And maybe it does sometimes; I've been thinking and I'm going to start to pay close attention to the circumstances when he does cooperate and see if there's any consistent commonality. How did I phrase it? What time of day was it? Was Liam immediately around? Just to throw this out there, I am really conscientious about keeping the kids well rested and well fed (I mean mostly good foods, minimal junk). I do not at all think that it is reasonable to expect good behavior out of a kid if they are hungry or tired, so if he's had a couple later bedtimes in a row, or has woken up early a couple days in a row, I keep that in mind and have a bit more patience. I might respond to an outburst by asking if he needs a hug or a cuddle instead of a reprimand. Maybe I should just try that more often in general. It's hard to be five. I don't mean to dump on my kid (I actually felt bad last night; I love him so much.) He doesn't act like an rear end every waking moment or anything, and is really funny and sweet. And we finally had a better morning today, so there was that. He ate, and got dressed, and was able to play Angry Birds for a little while because he didn't dick around so much. I just feel so responsible when a situation goes wrong because I'm 34 and he's only 5 for crap's sake; I set the tone, albeit poorly sometimes.
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Sep 19, 2013 17:30
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johnny sack posted:Anyone else go through this, when you suddenly start your toddler in daycare? This school year I started my 2 year old with two mornings a week and he acts like the sky is falling. The first couple weeks, it was balls out wailing at drop off and they had to peel him off of me. Cried 50% of the morning while he was there. It has improved to the point that just this morning, he only whined a little bit, and didn't cry. And has been having crying free days, aside from one or two minutes after drop off, for the past couple weeks. He'll get there, and the staff goes through this sort of thing all the time. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you know you are leaving him in a safe and happy place--it is not in fact some gulag, even though they act like it is.
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Sep 27, 2013 00:51
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iwik posted:Now that he's technically a toddler, at what point are you supposed to stop using bottles? Do you just move from a bottle to a sippy cup for milk through the day? He has one of those straw cups full of water during his meals and it sits on the coffee table so he can help himself all day when he gets thirsty. He generally has a bottle of formula when he goes down for naps & at bedtime - so he'll have 3-4 bottles a day roughly. Should I be starting to cut the number of bottles down slightly? Cutie! He doesn't *need* bottles anymore, but you can just ease him off gradually. IMHO, it isn't something that has to be a big critical deal. Some people seem to go nutty when their kid turns one--no more bottles, no more pacis, GROW UP KID! Bah! Not necessary. Both my kids got their last bottle around 17-18 months. Tim was harder because he was very reluctant to drink milk unless it was in a bottle. Strawberry milk was how we got over that. Just dial it back to only sleepy times, then try dropping the nap bottles; bedtime bottle will be the last to go. The key will be to start getting him to accept milk in a sippy or straw cup. That's at least half the battle. You can start giving him [whole] cow's milk now, if you want.
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Oct 11, 2013 22:33
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Iwik He doesn't really need formula any more, but some people like the toddler formulas (like Enfagrow or whatever). Whatever you think best suits his needs. Tim got some Enfagrow for a bit after age one because we had just gotten a grip on his reflux and I felt he needed the extra bit of complete nutrition for a while. Liam, OTOH, was 28.5lbs at his one year checkup and The Fat One went straight to 2% milk. If you think he likes milk well enough, try giving warm milk in a bottle instead of formula. Or mix it half and half. Or try it cold. Whatever! There's no "right way" or anything. We use tons of straw cups and sippys, and I've never had an issue getting them clean. All the straw parts and valves all come out of the lid and apart and they go straight into the basket in the dishwasher. Now, I could see if you forgot about a cup for a while and the milk curdled up in the straw, you'd have to get up in there with something to clean them. I like straws in general a little bit more because they never have to stop using them. Adults use straws too after all!
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Oct 12, 2013 00:59
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johnny sack I don't have any words of wisdom for you, I just wanted give you some internet sympathy. I have struggled with this. So many struggle with this. I went to a regular PT schedule after Tim was born, and then went per diem after Liam was born. The math of money in vs money out spent on care pretty much made the decision for me. Working FT and putting them both in care would have only netted us a scant few hundred a month. That's not even figuring gas, summer programs costing more, and general stress and scheduling wear and tear on our family. So here I am. I work in science, and going PT was kind of bad career wise, but not as bad as going per diem. I have side-lined my career and continuing education pretty severely, and I don't know how it will end up playing out. I am grateful that my job allowed me to go both PT and now lets me hang on per diem, but it is not without a price. I have missed learning entire waves of new technology and techniques. It...wears on me sometimes. Mr. Cookie's career has taken off for him (hard work and doing your job well pays off kids!), and sometimes being in that shadow makes that part of me atrophy even more. Our fields are vastly different, but we are equivalently well educated people. He uses his, and I--well, I know every song the Bubble Guppies sing. But, children are little for such a short time, and I have seen darned near every moment of it--the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't know what is best for you to do, I really could not possibly presume to say. But whatever you choose, there is no "right" or "wrong". It's all grey, all the time. As for death chat--There is a clip out in the Interwebs in B&W with Mr. Rogers talking about the Kennedy assassination. It has Betty Aberlin blowing up a balloon, and then letting the air out for Daniel Tiger. People are like the balloon. When the balloon loses it's air, it's empty. But the balloon's air doesn't disappear--it goes into the room and just joins all the rest of the air. We can't see the balloon's air anymore, because it's empty, but that doesn't mean it's gone. Nothing is ever gone (we just change state.) That's how it is when people die. Our bodies are like empty balloons, but we don't disappear, we join all the rest of everything. It's the same sentiment as Sagan's stardust, but maybe a bit more approachable of an analogy for little kids. Good ol' Mr. Rogers; what a treasure he was.
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Oct 19, 2013 16:24
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/\/\ Truth. I would either move when they are very small, like infants, or wait until they are less crazy, like kindergarten. When you are a new parent, doing things with an infant seems daunting, but in reality, they are super easy at that stage. Just little balls of sleeping, cuddly sweetness. With Liam, we were out an about when he was 8 days old hanging out in the mei tai--park, Zoo, etc. In retrospect, we could have really had Tim tag along with us doing just about whatever when he was brand new, but we didn't. New parents and all. But they are really never more portable or easy (from the perspective of their portability, sleeping, and not caring about their surroundings) than when they are brand new. You can just sit them in bouncers and pack, and they are totally fine. Mine are 2.5 and 5.5 now, and the thought of moving with them gives me the shivers. We would have to put Liam with family or friends or something to get it done now.
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Oct 29, 2013 00:56
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 09:12 |
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Trick or Treat Fail over here. It was raining. A lot. Tim started the festivities off by somehow breaking a glow stick and getting it in his eye. He reacted as expected--by screaming and freaking out for a while. Liam pooped all over the inside of his costume--between that, and running full bore through the rain and through every sidewalk puddle, I just gave up and threw it out when we got home. He refused to wear the dino hat anyway. They got an overflowing large mixing bowl worth of candy from about a dozen houses, on account of there being so few kids out in the weather. Tim was a shark. This is the first non-dino year we've had, so that was something. PS Alterian, seriously adorable.
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Nov 2, 2013 00:48
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