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My son had to spend a night under the bili lights when he was 5 days old due to jaundice. On our way to the hospital, as I was in the back seat freaking out that we’d already given our son brain damage (he’s fine, btw), my husband fell asleep behind the wheel at a red light. Thankfully nothing bad happened, but the push to guilt parents into making every possible sacrifice for their kids has tangible risks that should be considered alongside the benefits.
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Sep 4, 2019 21:24
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DangerZoneDelux posted:Abandonment reflex sounds like mommy blog bullshit As with most things, the truth is in the middle. Babies in orphanages that were left to cry by themselves all day and night grew up stunted. On the other hand, ‘sleep training’ by letting babies (of a certain age, not newborns) cry themselves to sleep has been shown to reduce stress in the long term. Hopefully you’re not letting your baby cry alone all day. But if you need a minute or even ten minutes to take a break and come back, it’s not going to damage your child.
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Sep 7, 2019 16:59
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On the mattress note, have any parents tried the floor bed from an early age? Mine has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor since 7 months, and while now (at 9.5 months) he will fall / crawl out of bed sometimes and sleep on the floor, we can just put him back in bed usually. Are we the lucky ones, or does it become more of a problem when they get older?
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Nov 14, 2019 19:55
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How much time are other babies spending at home because they’re too sick for daycare? I’m in a nanny share and he’s been averaging 1 day a week since he started at 6 months (he’s 10 months now). In reality it’s more like 2 days every other week, which makes it really hard to rearrange work schedules. Is this just normal?
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Dec 13, 2019 22:45
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2DEG posted:What's "too sick?" Like, keep them home just in case, or full on fever, vomiting, obvious communicable diseases daycares usually require you to keep home for? My kid was that age this time last year, and constantly had mild colds (runny nose mild, not hacking cough bad) and ear infections, but we'd only keep him home if he actually spiked a fever or 24 hours after starting antibiotics. That was once a month or so. If you're being more cautious, then every 2 weeks sounds about right. He rarely gets a fever, but he refuses to eat (today he had 6 oz between 9am and 3pm) and is just miserable unless he’s being held 24/7. Over the course of three months he’s lost a pound (18lb down to 17), gotten RSV (requiring 15 minutes with a nebulizer every 4 hours round the clock), an ear infection, and conjunctivitis. Our doctor says all this is normal but my mom swears I was never this sick. I never got chicken pox or flu as a kid and rarely missed a day of school so maybe she’s right. He’s only had a fever maybe once or twice from all of this, normally we just get a call from the nanny or the nanny share family saying he’s miserable and can’t be soothed. If I bring him home he’ll just nurse and sleep on my boob all day. Keeping him at the nanny share just seems cruel but at the same time I do have a job. in_cahoots fucked around with this message at 02:20 on Dec 14, 2019 |
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Dec 14, 2019 02:17
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The kissing thing may not be a health concern, but those same aunts will soon be the ones forcing hugs and kisses on your toddler while he pushes them away and cries. Bodily autonomy is important to me, so I found that setting an example with kissing was a good way of setting the precedent that my son’s body is not public property and that nobody should touch him without his consent.
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Feb 17, 2020 16:27
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Amazon is sold out of my brand of diapers until April 15. I have what should be a one-month supply right now and luckily I have a spare box one size larger that might fit soon. It sucks that I have to stock up just because everyone else is doing it.
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Mar 13, 2020 23:20
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My 1-year-old son is a very picky eater and I try to keep him eating healthily. The only things he is guaranteed to eat in large quantities are salmon, chicken, bread, bananas, and peanut butter. Thanks to rampant hoarding the only meats left at three grocery stores in town are smoked sausage and bacon. No peanut butter, applesauce, or bread. No milk or bananas. No flour even if I had a bread maker, or space to store one. This has been true since Friday, and since he now has a runny nose and our area is under a ‘shelter in place’ order it’s not like we can go out and browse the grocery stores each morning. My husband goes in the evening after work, but by then the stores are empty. Our house doesn’t have storage space for a pantry or large freezer so we don’t have much food stored up. The freezer we do have is full of frozen breast milk that he refuses to drink. We have about a day’s supply of frozen salmon left, and I’m seriously worried about what he’s going to eat over the next few days. Thankfully we are all set for diapers, medicine, and the like but somehow I completely dropped the ball on food. I feel like a terrible parent.
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Mar 17, 2020 05:21
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1up posted:The shelter in place rule has exceptions for groceries. We are under the same restrictions (east bay here) and are putting off shopping as long as possible until panic buying subsides more. I am hoping to stretch it out to at least Wednesday because we are in the same situation of small apartment, small freezer, and small cabinet space that arent remotely conducive to hoarding. I know shelter in place has exceptions but I feel like people wouldn’t appreciate me taking my snotty toddler out to a crowded grocery store even though I know it’s just a cold. Thankfully I managed to convince my husband to start work late and scavenge for food. Wish us luck!
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Mar 17, 2020 13:47
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Cocks Cable posted:Any tips on how to get through a 14 hour car trip (all in 1 day) with a 1.8 year old? Is this even possible? Obviously it's less than ideal but it's absolutely critical. I need to get to my parents house a few states over and flying is not an option and I want to minimize exposure. Can you drive through the night and sleep in shifts? If you leave around 4pm and break for dinner, you might be okay. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even attempt this. With my 15-month old if he’s not napping we have to take a 30-minute break every 2 hours or so, and that’s with one parent in the back seat providing entertainment (we don’t do screen time yet). You’d be looking at 17 hours or more of being on the road, which doesn’t seem safe to me.
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May 1, 2020 04:02
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Is there really no alternative to doing this all in one shot? If you use Airbnb you can check in without having to make physical contact; you could also consider camping for the night depending on the climate where you live. You can even get creative and bring your own sheets or sleeping bags to the Airbnb if you want to be extra-safe. I know that even pre-kids a 14-hour drive would have been rough.
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May 1, 2020 05:26
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For what it’s worth everything you’ve described so far sounds like normal toddler behavior. I would be really wary of labeling him as having rage problems or having ‘inherited’ traits from your brother. If you label a kid, you naturally start to treat them differently, and they pick up on this. Have you read any books about toddler discipline? No Bad Kids and How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen are my recommendations.
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Jun 24, 2020 15:08
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I have the Eufy and the base unit failed a couple of months after the warranty expired. They didn’t do anything to help me out. I wound up purchasing another, but since they’re not cheap you probably don’t want to buy it months before your due date. We didn’t really need ours until our kid was 6 months old and sleeping in his own room.
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Jul 27, 2020 22:40
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If someone is throwing a tantrum aren’t they angry by definition? I’ve never been sure how the A part is supposed to be helpful.
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Sep 3, 2020 00:37
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nwin posted:Same. We were in Massachusetts for the winter with our newborn but he gets insanely hot. We had one of those front carriers where he hung out in it maybe twice and then hated it all the other times. Dock-a-tots aren’t safe either, they just fly under the radar. The risk of death is small, but if you google it you’ll see it’s not zero.
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Sep 16, 2020 05:12
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It’s not just unsafe for cosleeping. Anything with a soft side or bottom poses a suffocation risk, either directly or due to lack of airflow. The only 100% safe sleep solution recommended in the US is Alone, on their Backs, in a Crib (ABC). Anything not labeled a crib or bassinet is not regulated for safe sleep and has probably caused at least one death. This means sleepers, napping devices, crib bumpers, and even car seats (out of the car) aren’t actually safe for sleeping. The risk is small but it’s not zero.
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Sep 16, 2020 15:22
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We use Eucerin Baby Eczema Relief. It’s somewhat pricy but seems to keep flare ups to a minimum.
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Sep 26, 2020 15:36
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I think there’s zero chance you can put the car seat in the middle, unless the window seat is also empty. How would you evacuate the window seat in an emergency? On the other hand if the flight is super empty you might be able to get a row to yourself without buying two seats. I wound up buying an extra seat for my baby when we flew, and it was worth it. In addition to the safety issues (babies have died in turbulence when held in their parents’ laps) it meant that we could nap and eat while he slept.
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Oct 2, 2020 17:29
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My boy is currently sleeping with a motorcycle in one hand and a plane in the other. For awhile they were surgically attached to his hands. This past week, as he’s falling asleep he throws the bike out of the crib and then complains that it is gone. Giving it back to him prompts the same response over and over. Eventually he falls asleep without the bike, but then we have to sneak it back into the crib in the middle of the night, lest he realize it’s missing at 2AM and complain again. My kid is an rear end in a top hat.
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Oct 6, 2020 04:01
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I think I speak for every parent when I say that if your kid has a sleep routine that works with minimal intervention, do not gently caress with it. Just by writing it down you’ve probably cursed yourself to 4AM wake ups.
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Oct 14, 2020 03:55
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I read and tried to follow the Oh Crap book (I’m pretty sure that’s what your wife is reading), and in my opinion it’s a whole load of BS. An economist, Emily Oster, did a literature review and found that most kids are fully trained around age 3. This is true whether you start at 20 months or wait until 36 months. If you start early (we started at 19 months) they’re still not nap or night trained, and you have to constantly be putting them on the potty. The book fully admits that it can take up to a month of full-time training (as in, you don’t work, wash dishes, cook, or do anything else but watch your kid) for it to work for young toddlers. The associated Facebook group is full of stay at home parents who’ve been stuck watching their kids like a hawk for months on end, with little success. In my case we tried it for a week and then he regressed hard when we put him in day care. He knows where to pee but will wait until you are distracted to go on the floor. On a bad day we would go through 8 pairs of pants (we never made it to the underwear stage), and I wasn’t able to do anything around the house except watch him. We couldn’t go to the park or do our normal weekend activities because he would pee in the stroller. After a couple of weeks I realized that he wasn’t ready and gave up to save our sanity. Looking back, I wish I had been more skeptical. I myself was trained at 19 months so I really wanted to make it work. But the age of potty training has been getting older and older through the years for some unknown reason. The book is written by a layperson and isn’t evidence-based, and it’s full of tons of rules to make you think that if you don’t stick with her methods your kid will go to kindergarten in diapers. You have to start before 30 months. If it’s not working you’re on the verge of breaking through. You can only quit and try again once, or else... I don’t even remember why she said this. It’s very authoritative and reassuring, until you try to put it in practice.
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Oct 15, 2020 03:51
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Ehud posted:Does anyone here have experience with "Montessori at home" style parenting? We have a baby on the way and we're doing the new parent thing where we look up everything you can imagine. My wife stumbled across a YouTube channel that introduced us to the idea and I really like everything I've watched and read so far. We try to practice a loose combination of Montessori and RIE. For us that means consciously allowing our son to explore and grow independent with as little intervention as possible. We buy Montessori toys (mainly because I’m not creative or handy enough to make my own) but it’s by no means a necessity. I would recommend reading Montessori from the Start and The Montessori Toddler if you’re interested. One caveat is that a lot of people seem to conflate Montessori with ‘expensive wooden toys’ and giant playrooms / custom furniture. We don’t have the money or space for a child-size kitchen setup, bathroom, etc. And many of the expensive toys aren’t ‘Montessori’ at all. So just remember that it’s a philosophy, not an Instagram photo.
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Oct 15, 2020 20:03
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my stepdads beer posted:idk what Montessori toys are but I made my son a stove and pan out of a cardboard box when he was 1 and a half and that was hands down his favourite thing. he was constantly 'cooking' me meat and eggs all day long 🥰 Kid kitchens are great. A ‘Montessori’ kid kitchen however is a fully-working space that’s at the kid’s level and accessible: sink, meal prep, snacks, etc. It lets them be more independent than if an adult always has to help them out, but unless you have a giant house it’s not really practical.
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Oct 16, 2020 04:14
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How do you get your toddlers to bed at a reasonable time when dinner takes forever? Thanks to Covid we can normally get the kid picked up from preschool and have dinner on the table by 6, but with a 45-minute meal and the subsequent bedtime routine (wash up, brush teeth, moisturize, get dressed, read a book, nurse, sing and rock to sleep), I’m lucky if my 20-month-old is asleep by 7:45. I keep seeing toddlers with 7PM bedtimes, but I have no idea how it’s done.
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Oct 29, 2020 05:26
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PerniciousKnid posted:Basically you have dinner by 5. Many of my coworkers go to work at 6 or 7 am so they get home on time. Argh, I wish my husband and I had your coworkers. We’re lucky if meetings are done by 5. And of course we waste a ton of hours in the morning since the toddler now wakes up at 5AM.
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Oct 30, 2020 03:49
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I read somewhere that the au pair visa program was paused due to Covid/immigration/Trump. Probably worth double-checking.
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Nov 1, 2020 00:02
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One of my Facebook groups today has multiple parents saying their toddlers sip coffee... sometimes you can’t assume even the barest amount of common sense when it comes to parenting.
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Nov 9, 2020 20:11
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Zeinin posted:How do you all handle having dinner with the family if you commute? A lot of people (myself included) are mostly work-from-home these days, but I don't know how I am supposed to get back home by like, 6pm (Fremont to Oakland commute for bay goons) once the pandemic lifts in the next year or two. As a fellow Bay Area goon, our choice has been to work at more local companies / live close to our jobs. The alternative is to settle for a later bedtime for your kids, which may not be the end of the world. My sleep guide (Health Sleep Habits, Healthy Child) makes it seem like a late bedtime is dooming your children to an early grave, but the reality is that many cultures have later bedtimes than we do in the US.
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Nov 15, 2020 05:09
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I’m on your side with this one. If the person really cared about the kid’s welfare then there’s no harm in waiting 5 minutes to see if the parent is going to come back out. Calling immediately seems to be more in the vein of ‘teaching you a lesson’. And considering the highly subjective and racialized nature of police and CPS encounters (~50% of black children will have an encounter with CPS), calling them in frivolously isn’t guaranteed to be a benign experience.
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Nov 16, 2020 18:34
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:24 hours fever free? Here the policy is 48h since the last symptom. Including a runny nose. And 7 days since first onset. Wow, with that policy my son would have missed most of November. Ours is 48 hours with no fever or cough, and 10 calendar days if you get tested for COVID. Runny nose by itself isn’t a criterion.
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Nov 23, 2020 21:21
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My reference for these sorts of questions is the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ). You can google ASQ + the age of your child in months and get a series of questions for communication, fine and gross motor, social, and cognitive skills. My pediatrician doesn’t go by that exactly, but it’s a good ballpark for ‘should I be worried’ issues.
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Jan 7, 2021 05:30
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In my experience the time between the first ‘teething’ signs and actual teeth is anywhere between 0 days and 8 months. Family members loved to proclaim that my son was teething whenever he drooled / was fussy / ate / didn’t eat. It’s one of those predictions where, if you say it often enough, eventually you’ll be correct.
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Jan 14, 2021 06:12
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Amazon sells a ton of cheap electric nail filers. The listings are sketchy and the pads wear out after a few months, but they work and won’t cut your baby’s fingers.
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Jan 23, 2021 05:21
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space uncle posted:Ah good thinking, dunno why I thought nail files were limited to the Emory sticks. Yup, that’s the product. There’s about a dozen listings under different brand names, but they’re all the same.
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Jan 23, 2021 08:53
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An 8-person tent sounds good for car camping. We’re in a 6-person tent and it would probably be cramped if we have a second child. By the time they’re 6 or so they might want a tent of their own, but until that point the more space the better. gently caress those ‘3 person tents’ unless you’re out backpacking or something.
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Feb 11, 2021 04:57
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Is she down to one nap a day? When we moved from 2-1 it helped nighttime sleep as well.
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Feb 23, 2021 22:43
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I think around 10 months my son loved tissue boxes. Empty (drop a ball or scarf inside) and full.
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Mar 2, 2021 08:16
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If you can see licensing and violation information for your potential daycare, use that as a first pass. And a simple Google search is useful too. I ruled out one daycare because the owner’s family was involved in a pretty complex tax-fraud scam. Even if the owner herself was innocent, I didn’t want to take the risk of a disgruntled family member showing up. I ruled out a second daycare because they were cited for keeping kids in high-chairs for hours on end unnecessarily. And a third was cited for having its owner under the influence on the job. If you can’t keep it together for state-mandated inspections, you’re not a place where I want to send my kid.
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Mar 6, 2021 07:02
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I also recall reading that masks pose a suffocation risk until age 2. For the first year babies’ lungs and muscles are laughably underdeveloped, hence the risk of SIDS from something as innocuous as a crib bumper. And any mask that is going to offer protection to the wearer (as opposed to the other person) is going to have to be a tight fit. I wouldn’t risk it for an infant.
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Mar 14, 2021 05:07
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Edit: never mind, I missed your latest post. Keeping this here in case it’s helpful to someone else. Random thought. Maybe your kid needs more connection during the day? I know that one of my causes of insomnia is feeling like 3AM is the only time when I can be free, when nobody needs me. On the flip side maybe he thinks 3AM is the best time to get guaranteed attention from the parents? If you’re both working full-time and she’s pregnant then maybe he’s picking up on all the other things going around around the house. in_cahoots fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Mar 22, 2021 |
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Mar 22, 2021 20:57
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