Rise to me: The Bread Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Rise to me: The Bread Thread

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Happy Hat posted:

An open letter to mindphlux! (because the cheap bastard doesn't have PM's)

I have bought plat like 6 times now

I've given up because you just lose it every time you get banned. I think bartolimu was supposed to restore mine after that battle beet throwdown, but I guess it looks like I still don't have it.

anyways, loving awesome post. I'm going to print it out and read it every time I take a dump for the next two months. maybe also put it under my pillow at night. after which I'll be a master of bread.

will post my first attempt here - I haven't tried to make bread in a year or so.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2012 23:07

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 05:54

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

His Divine Shadow posted:

I mostly just winged it, which I tend to do when bread baking. I went for 64% hydration with this batch and I used a combination of regular flour (mainly this), graham and durum flour. No fancy ingredients just flour, salt, water and yeast.

This batch was made from (only got this in metric, sorry):
1kg flour
640g water
3 teaspoons of salt
A random amount of yeast, I just sprinkled it into the flour with the salt.

Kneaded it in my mixer for 9 minutes and let it rise in the bowl for an hour. I often keep dough in the oven with a bowl of boiling water. Then I punched the dough down, flattened it out and cut it into pieces which I then shaped into the baguettes and other small breads. I covered the pieces in flour towards the end of the shaping but not before because I didn't want to add too much flour into the dough and it was easily to handle without extra flour. Then I let it rise another hour under cover.

I sprinkled more flour on after I removed the covers, then I scored various shapes in the bread using my lame and into the oven at 230C for 15 minutes. I tossed in a glass of water on my pizza stone just before to add steam and once again halfway through. I need to buy a spray bottle for this step. I understand you can then spritz the bread directly too.

a. how do you throw a glass of water on your pizza stone without it shattering
b. how do you transfer your shaped pieces to the stone without degassing
c. how much of a rise is there after you shape them

# ¿ Jan 27, 2014 09:21

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

I can't loving make bread. I tried yesterday and deflated it completely and misshaped the entire baugette when trying to get it off my peel and onto my stone. it's like literally the most frustrating thing ever. I 100% of the time end up with some lovely dense crumb that screams homemade "bread". I've read so many books on breadmaking cover to cover, improvised proof boxes with perfect temperature and humidity, everything. always dense crumb, ugly dusty brown exterior, and hours of work ending in complete frustration. I came close to dumping out my poolish, but I fed it today, maybe I'll try again later this week.

all I want is some bread that rivals what I'd get at a michelin starred restaurant, is that too much to ask?

argh /rant

# ¿ Jun 22, 2015 22:38

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Rurutia posted:

I honestly think it's because the home made bread recipes are all too low in hydration for ease. The only bread I've made that is up to my personal standards was the 80% hydration bread. (And this the japanese milk bread which is eugh so good.)

I just don't understand how you work with bread that is 80% hydration. I made a recipe for 65% hydration bread, and it was so sticky it was impossible to shape or knead. it just stuck to my cutting board and fingers and everything and I got really frustrated and added flour until I could handle it without it being a complete nightmare.

I'm almost wondering if less hydration is the key - like a 50% hydration might allow the dough to rise more and hold its own, and develop an airy gluteny structure without collapsing?

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 03:39

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

that said, I just realized I did add a shitload of flour over my recipe, despite me thinking I was making a dough with good hydration. maybe that was part of my problem. but really, how do you make bread out of a goopy mess? how do you keep it sticking to whatever its proofing on, assuming you can even shape it? I tried both parchment paper and a shitload of semolina on the back of a sheet pan, and both basically didn't work very well. stick city.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 03:43

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

like look at this motherfucker : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI-WstoakmQ

his poo poo isn't sticking to anything. yet it looks almost looser than the dough I ended up with after adding all my flour. wtf. I was using king authur flour, measurements all by weight according to the apprentice bread baker, which I've read cover to cover.

I'm a good cook I swear

edit : he even has a wedding ring on. are you loving kidding me? HOW IS HIS poo poo NOT STICKING

mindphlux fucked around with this message at 03:51 on Jun 23, 2015

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 03:45

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

thanks hh

Happy Hat posted:

e.g. - when you transferred your baguette to the peel - what was the baguette resting on? Flour hopefully - but what kind? White flour probably.. You should have used durum, as that wouldn't have been soaked as easily, and started sticking.

e.g. you allowed your baguette to rest on your peel - why did you do that - what is the material of your peel? Wouldn't you like a nice dry surface to transport on, rather than something that has been soaking up moisture, or where the baguette had a chance of sticking for after sitting for 20-40 minutes?

e.g. when shaping your bread - do you do so with floured hands? why? Why aren't your hands soaking wet - that will prevent the dough sticking better than floured hands, and then you can let it rest on top of a bed of flour afterwards...

two loaves side by side - one baugette was resting on a ton of semolina flour, the other was on parchment - wanted to test both approaches. both, somehow, stuck. legit point about why I let rest on my peel - the thought was, I'll disturb the loaves less and prevent degassing them if they're already ready to slide into the oven. obviously I was wrong, so I won't do that again. Is it really ok to let rise on parchment? Won't the loaf stick to the parchment? I have a horrible memory of trying to do this with a pizza dough once and the bread and the paper fused together. that might have been wax paper though...

when shaping I was using floured hands. it never really occurred to me to use wet hands - I mean the dough was sticking to my wooden cutting board too, so I don't know what wet hands would have helped. I was having to scrape it off my board with every stretch and pull. maybe I shouldn't be shaping on a wooden cutting board? is the dough really supposed to be *that* wet and sticky?

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 19:35

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Happy Hat posted:

Also... this is one of my most recent fuckups.

70% hydration, 40/40/20 rye/stone ground whole white wheat/whole grain durum, first rise 6h, second 16h, raised in couche, baked at 280*c on a stone for 15 minutes. (steamed at 0m and at 2m).

Good crumb, not happy with crust..

Excellent taste

need'em crumb pics

those look miles better than any bread I've ever done though, good job. (also gently caress bread, it's the devil's work)

# ¿ Dec 11, 2015 11:47

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 05:54

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

he posts, full of jealousy and spite, in the bread thread

# ¿ Dec 11, 2015 11:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Rise to me: The Bread Thread