This! Is! JEOPARDY!

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > This! Is! JEOPARDY!

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Jeopardy!
America's favorite quiz show has been on the air since 1964, airing a total of 9,300 episodes (as of October 26th, 2012 according to wikipedia). Originally titled "what's the Question," "Jeopardy!" got its current moniker from a studio executive's rejection: "there aren't enough jeopardies." While Art Fleming hosted the show originally, Alex Trebek has become inextricably associated with the Jeopardy brand (though he should really bring back the 'stache), and only once has he relinquished the hosting of the show (to Pat Sajak in a 1997 April Fool's Episode).

What is this thread?
This is a discussion area for the nightly jeop-isodes, but also for having asperger's syndrome about a game show. Do you like to make your friends feel stupid? Then this is the thread for you, you intolerable, smug oval office!

When can I watch Jeopardy!?
Jeopardy! is in syndication, so until I spend the absurd amount of time it will take to make a chart, check your local listings.

Here's how stupid I am. Jeopardy! already has a map on their website!

Can I be a contestant on Jeopardy!?

No, you're stupid. But on the off chance that you're not a complete idiot, this is where you go to sign up to be a contestant.

Is there any way to play Jeopardy without having to test for the show?
Urine luck, pissfucker! PS3, XBOX360 and WII have Jeopardy! games available for you. Buy the game! Spend your money. I bought it for PS3 and have not stopped playing for like two weeks. There's also a board game it's probably okay? I have no idea.

Is there some sort of archive of every Jeop-isode ever, including contestants' names, scores, and responses; answers, readers, and questions; and who won (and by how much)?
You have Asperger's Syndrome.

But also yes: here it is.

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Jan 24, 2013

# ¿ Nov 24, 2012 07:28

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 14:35

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

DrBouvenstein posted:

You know that Jeopardy! is syndicated, right? The channel and time varies depending on which station bought the rights in your broadcast area. I'm pretty sure it's even possible to have multiple stations with Jeopardy! I have it at 7:00 EST on NBC.

You're absolutely right, I'm foolish, and I will make a chart or something when next I am drunk.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2012 23:04

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

Glad there's a thread about this game show of game shows. Will there be live watching in this thread? I'm probably awful to watch Jeopardy with though, I know too much and sometimes yell about it. My friends accuse me of cheating/smartphoning because I know a lot of random poo poo? They think I look it up without touching anything but my beers and snacks.

Maybe. It's hard to coordinate long distance because of the syndication, but I mean do whatever you want. One thing we could definitely do is set up some jeopardy games on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii (they all allow for invites by whatever their equivalent of a PSN-id is). I have friends over pretty frequently to watch jeopardy together for bragging rights and to fantasize sexually about Alex Trebek (we just do one point per question including daily doubles, and wager on final jeopardy).

zenguitarman posted:

Honestly I like him better without the 'stache

You are an actual war criminal.

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 00:27 on Nov 28, 2012

# ¿ Nov 27, 2012 23:13

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

poo poo these idiot contestants ALL missed today, not including daily doubles (and whether or not I got it):
1. What is Coca-cola? (nope!)
2. What is Volkswagen? (yep!)
3. What is roar? (nope!)
4. Who is Harold Lloyd? (gently caress no!)
5. What is the Sanhedrin? (ughhhh no)

Oh well, I usually only consistently get the ones nobody gets in literature, opera, or classical music, and there was almost none of that tonight. Makin' excuses like a real pro and a good sport.

Bad stories from Asperger's Jeopardy! contestants

1. Was in mission-control when America landed on the moon. Actually a pretty cool story.

2. Took a driving trip "uhh, around the west." What a boring idiot. BAD STORY!

3. Got punished for stealing an inflatable stegosaurus (the yearbook mascot). Yearbooks don't have mascots you loving awful poo poo! BAD STORY!

# ¿ Nov 28, 2012 01:56

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

osukeith161 posted:

He kind of points out that it is a television show, and if they asked contestants for difficult physics equations every other question, they wouldn't have viewers. So, he studied the main things of a variety of categories, and admits "guessing" most of the answers with what is the most cited/quoted thing in the area of the question.)

I coach my students' high school Scholastic Bowl team, and I'm always honestly shocked at how much harder and more specific the questions for a high school competition tend to be than Jeopardy! is.

That said, I can still slaughter high-schoolers at both Jeopardy! and Quiz Bowl. I say this because I am a small and petty man who cares about beating children 10-14 years his junior. Ugh what a piece of poo poo.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2012 23:06

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

JAMOOOL posted:

He follows a bunch of FYADers if I'm not mistaken.

Therefore he pretty much rocks. Also he might follow one of the FYADers I know irl. I'll ask him.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2012 00:02

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

KilGrey posted:

So if someone is in the zone when it comes to the buzzer and is running the board for a bit, how do you break his rhythm? Can you? Is it possible to buzz ahead of him in those cases or do you just have to wait it out?

Mutter "hey, human being."

Alex reads the answers at a pretty steady rhythm, but nobody's gonna buzz in perfectly every single time. Their roll will end eventually. Usually it seems to end more or less with whatever category they ran.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2012 12:08

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

J-archive has been added to the OP. Let us rejoice!

# ¿ Dec 1, 2012 03:09

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Frot Lesnar posted:

I was so pissed nobody got Final Jeopardy right last night. What's even worse is it's not like Minnesota has a ton of hall of fame rock stars but they all picked the wrong one.

I could NOT believe how stupid they were for being like "oh, american icons, pulitzer, rock and roll hall of fame, minnesota... I GUESS I'LL PICK LITERALLY ANYONE BUT BOB DYLAN BLEEP BLORP I'M A RETARD ROBOT"

# ¿ Dec 7, 2012 07:43

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

"Hi, we're Friday, December 7th's contestants and we don't know a god drat thing about Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, one of the greatest plays ever written. Welp, see ya later!"

# ¿ Dec 8, 2012 01:57

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

Ken Jennings did an AMA on reddit today. He is a pretty funny dude.

Username: WatsonsBitch.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2012 15:01

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

hcreight posted:

drat. Can't say I've ever met a Mormon who swears casually and makes cancer jokes.

He actually seems really cool and I want to be his friend.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2012 02:44

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Only one contestant could get "what is a loving TELEGRAPH?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

# ¿ Dec 18, 2012 01:56

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

HookShot posted:

I totally registered too, I figured once I put in my residency as Canada they would say I can't, but go figure, I'm still eligible!

I also registered. Not a lot of testing sites near VA, though, so if I pass the online test (I won't) I have to go to Nashville, TN. Like an IDIOT!

e: how would you NOT guess Mark Twain with a quote like that from 1886? THOREAU? What a bad guess, you absolute poo poo!!!

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Dec 29, 2012

# ¿ Dec 29, 2012 01:54

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

escape artist posted:

Thoreau came to mind first, but I decided it sounds something way more Twain-esque, and changed my answer before it was revealed.

I've been killing the Final Jeopardy's lately.

Thoreau died about 20 years before, so it was a smart move. Also, yeah, what gave it away for me was the humble-brag of "everybody drinks water." That was 100% Mark Twain.

KilGrey posted:

I really wish you could go on the show and react like this to people. Complete with finger pointing.

I'd like to think I'd behave with a modicum of respect, but considering that when none of the three candidates know something I know, I spend the time flipping off the TV and screaming "It's King Lear you idiot, moron cocksuckers! You suck cocks is what!" I don't know if I'd be able to hold it in. Even when whomever I'm watching with shouts the answer before me, I always let out a frustrated "noooo!" I've never seen someone on Jeopardy actually do that.

We'd come back from the first commercial break and I would clearly have been replaced by someone who looks nothing like me. My name would just be struck through and like "Andy" or whatever would be written above it.

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 16:49 on Dec 29, 2012

# ¿ Dec 29, 2012 16:38

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Soothing Vapors posted:

That was absolutely mindblowing to me.

Also, if she was going to bet ANYTHING, she might as well have bet all but $1. The other girl HAD to bet it all. Betting $5000 was just stupid as hell.

I thought she deserved to lose for not guessing Twain, so I was glad she wagered badly.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2012 09:40

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Officer Sandvich posted:

Both move on in a tie. There's even been a three-way tie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72zn2KODSsY

I'm not sure about the next game but I think they have a pool of people to draw from, if you make it that far in the casting process they're not going to send you home.

What I'm curious about is if they all received all their winnings. If so, holy moly, everybody do that every time.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2012 00:40

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

I say reesie's piecies all the time, and I KNOW it's wrong. gently caress y'all. All a y'all.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2013 20:59

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

raditts posted:

Why don't you draw a picture of some reesie's piecies with a box of crowns.

For a LONG time I've wanted to start a crayon company called "Crown's Crayons."

"I need a box of 'crowns.'" ~my dumb market share

# ¿ Jan 5, 2013 06:17

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

I hope to God it's all Literature and Opera. I'd actually PASS that.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2013 21:05

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

UGH I put Sartre for Camus, then, as I was deleting it, I ran out of time. gently caress MY PISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 02:26

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

I ended up with about a 36, just barely passed. That is, assuming they don't mind that I spelled Chanel wrong. Or that I think I put two "t"s on Scarlet, like Johansson.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 02:55

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Punch Card posted:

They don't care about spelling, so you're good.

Thank God. I hosed up a few that I should have known. I got thrown by the Egypt one's directions and put Algeria (still way wrong with Sudan), and I put "Rover" as the Mars robot's name instead of its actual name "Curiosity." I'm pissing right now.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 03:03

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

jscolon2.0 posted:

If those answers are right, I just went 47/50!

That's awesome, great job!

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 03:03

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

escape artist posted:

I assume we get a new test each night, right?

Nope. Just the one.

Unless you meant, "is the test different for those who take it on the following nights?" In which case, yes.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 12:08

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

HookShot posted:

drat it, I can't believe you eastern people got the African Geography question, that's basically my favourite category.

I misread it and got it wrong, so today as punishment I've filled out 10 maps of Africa with all the country names.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2013 22:23

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Good luck to all of you taking the test tonight. I passed last night, and I'm very stupid! You will all pass tonight, and you are very smart! And handsome!

# ¿ Jan 10, 2013 02:48

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

WHAT ARE THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS YOU UNBELIEVABLE PIECE OF poo poo!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2013 01:39

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

THE GUTENBERG loving BIBLE HOW DO TWO OF YOU MISS THAT

e: they literally just showed them a Gutenberg Bible and were like "Hey, what is this?" I am currently dying.

"What is 'us'" You absolute morons!

Pride and Prejudice? Yeah, Susie. "P" comes before "S." Maybe go to kindergarten you IDIOT poo poo PISS

To clarify what I'm mad about: "The first book Jane Austen had published in her lifetime, it is the last of her books alphabetically." I haven't been so angry over Sense and Sensibility since I read it.

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Jan 24, 2013

# ¿ Jan 24, 2013 01:41

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Old James posted:

What is Dazed and Confused?

Who is Matthew McConaughey?

# ¿ Jan 24, 2013 02:06

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

escape artist posted:

But don't you guys think Alex's comment was funny/ignorant/maybe tongue-in-cheek/if not straight up misogyny.

I didn't think it was meant to be ironic and was duly horrified. Five or six women authors. Good lord. I can think of about twenty off the top of my head that they WOULD ASK ABOUT alone. Many more that they wouldn't.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2013 03:02

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

I wish to heaven that some contestant had just said "some black guy."

e: aaand Jeopardy! is coming on. Please someone post so I don't double-post my rant!

# ¿ Jan 26, 2013 01:28

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

STEPHEN SONDHEIM YOU INCREDIBLE FUCKS

GEORGIAN UGH I'M DYING

Final Jeopardy! is Funny Girl. e: AAAAA YOU loving RETARDS HOW DID NONE OF YOU GET IT KISS MY PISSSSSSSSSS

Tonight the true star is the half-inch of snow that deigned to fall in Norfolk, VA. Our local ABC affiliate, which carries Jeopardy!, decided to air a report on road conditions (hours after the snowfall ended). I never do this, but here's what I wrote them:

"Dear Weather,
I don't ask for much. I don't think I'm owed anything. The sole comfort I have in this world is knowing that Jeopardy! comes on at 7:30 pm on my local ABC affiliate. Pardon my bluntness, but I don't care a bit that a half inch has fallen. Today I missed two entire categories on the Jeopardy! board. Are you actually kidding me? I would rather drive a 5-inch screw into the head of my penis than miss a single question. You have officially, then, driven ten 5-inch screws into the head of my penis. Thank you for telling me about the snow that ceased hours ago. You are true heroes.
Love,
[Glenn]"

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Jan 26, 2013

# ¿ Jan 26, 2013 01:49

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

I may be speaking too soon, but I'm pretty sure some intern switched the Teen Tournament answers into today's board.

Guessing Best New Artist for final jeopardy.

e: would have been the only one to get it. Welp.

Glenn_Beckett fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Jan 29, 2013

# ¿ Jan 29, 2013 01:40

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

funktopus posted:

Not only that, it was apparently all people she knew or had met in real life. It'd creep me out too if someone I knew was doing that. I almost wanted her to beat Joshua and his greasy rear end mop hair so I could hear more about it.

Imagine if someone you knew catalogued every conversation you ever had for her creepy Soap Opera.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2013 22:29

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Today was the first time in my entire life that I got EVERY, SINGLE, Jeopardy! question right. Thanks, idiot teens!

# ¿ Feb 2, 2013 02:02

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

While this episode is certainly easy, I'd equate it to an easy day of normal Jeopardy! rather than the poo poo-affair that is normal Teen Tournament.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2013 01:51

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Barrett is the most awkward lovely kid of all time. I want to punch his idiot face.

PS. I am an educator who works with teens lmao.

Just got to Hamlet and I want to kill these kids now.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2013 01:39

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

zakharov posted:

Holy poo poo Leonard loving rules. $38k DD payoff and a FJ response for the win.

Oh really

YOU BASTARD IT'S STILL AIRING FOR ME!

# ¿ Feb 13, 2013 01:42

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 14:35

Glenn_Beckett: Sep 13, 2008; When I see a 9/11 victim family on television I'm just like 'Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaqua'

Wowza BOWza did Leonard get lucky on that easy Daily Double.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2013 01:51

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