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gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
The military is great if you aren't rich and only plan on being in for a few years. Get paid to do mostly easy work, maybe get a clearance, some job experience, then get out and use the GI Bill. The best part is that you don't have to be smart to do it! The military is a little more selective nowadays, so maybe this new group of privates is better, but I came in probably during the darkest days for recruiting.

I joined the Army in the summer of 2007. I had just graduated high-school, barely because I really didn't give a poo poo. I had no motivation to do anything, hosed up too bad in school to get into a college worth a poo poo, and even if I could my parents sure as hell couldn't afford it. To top it all off I was fat to. I really didn't have a lot of options.

Neither did half my drat state. Some stayed in mom and dad's basement, some went to community college and took out loans for degrees, and the absolute dumbest did what I did. Walked into a recruiters office.

At the hotel the night before MEPS I already started to realize how stupid the Army was. One guy got arrested for getting drunk and smashing up the hotel bar. Another guy got beat up for trying to rape some girl. The next day was even better. TWO people failed the breathalyzer, that we were told a dozen times would happen first thing in the morning. Dozens of people got lost, despite the walls having giant colored lines showing exactly where everything was. A few people didn't listen to their recruiters and didn't wear underwear, so they were sent home during the physical. Some forgot essential paper-work, and some were caught flat out lying about criminal and health history.

The absolute best were those who failed the drug test. I went to MEPS in a group of six. Our recruiter had been telling us for weeks that MEPS would have a drug test. He said he didn't care if we smoked pot, snorted coke, or shot heroin in between our toes. Just be clean for MEPS which we will all go to on X day. We have nearly two months notice. Three people failed.

Nothing prepared me for how stupid the people in basic would be. Even 5 and a half years later I will still remember the name of our biggest idiot. Gross. His last name was Gross, and it loving fit perfectly. He smelled like pig poo poo, looked like a Neanderthal and a Chimpanzee had a baby, and that baby had downs syndrome and when it was very young had the top of it's skull flattened. He would go a week without a shower until we drug him into it. Eventually people resorted to setting up a roster of people to make his bed because holy poo poo he couldn't do that. He couldn't do push-ups, sit-ups or run. He couldn't start an IV, mop a floor, or shoot. He couldn't even was his loving clothes without flooding the entire laundry room. He was just...dumb.

Gross did a lot of dumb things. He flagged the Drill Sergeants on every range. He fell out of runs and got lost in the woods (WE NEVER RAN IN THE WOODS ONCE). But his crowning achievement, his finest moment of idiocy, his loving Austerlitz or retardation was warrior forge.

For those of you who weren't army or don't remember warrior forge is pretty much the final test of basic. You do a 20k ruck march, (MY UNIT TOTALLY DID THIRTY FIVE THOUGH) react to ambushes and IEDs along the way, and then cap off the night with a night movement exercise. There's a sand pit that has barbed wire about two or so feet off the ground. There's a few obstacles, hills, tank traps etc, and a machine gun fires rounds over your heads. Way over your heads of course, you could stand on Shaq's shoulders and be fine. All you had to do, was crawl. From one end to the other. Just loving crawl, a baby can do that. Gross couldn't.

Gross panicked because he was being shot at. He tried to stand up and became tangled in the barb wire. Instead of just sitting still like the drill sergeants said he had a better idea. He tried to take his uniform off. In doing so he mangled his fat paws on the wire, and sliced up his piggish physique. I remember watching him scream and flail, desperately trying to get naked because that's what made sense to him. Gross didn't pass basic because he couldn't do push-ups, sit-ups, or run. When he finally left Fort Sill it was nearly two years later, being chaptered out of the Army for being a fat waste of space.

I have quite a few stories I can share later about Gerry. I'll sum Gerry up like this: He was too stupid to drive a Humvee so he was fired from being platoon sergeant driver. He was too stupid to use a radio so he was fired from that. He was too stupid to stand guard in a tower, open a gate, or move ammunition. Gerry brought us chow when we were on long missions. And even better, after being kicked out for over-weight Gerry refused to use his GI Bill. Because it's socialism.

Share your stories about the dumbest of the dumb you had the honor of serving with. It's the best part about the military you know. If you ever feel stupid, fat, or useless, just walk around a mall in a military town.

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Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:



I have quite a few stories I can share later about Gerry. I'll sum Gerry up like this: He was too stupid to drive a Humvee so he was fired from being platoon sergeant driver. He was too stupid to use a radio so he was fired from that. He was too stupid to stand guard in a tower, open a gate, or move ammunition. Gerry brought us chow when we were on long missions. And even better, after being kicked out for over-weight Gerry refused to use his GI Bill. Because it's socialism.



We had a reserve augment dude come in for deployment. He wasn't dumb-dumb, his ASVAB was I'm guessing probably at least more than 50, he had some college, etc. But he was definitely actual dumb.

Greatest hits:

-hiding candy in his rack at night, eating fast food chow despite being overweight, eating 4-5 meals a day of the fast food chow, generally in multiple helpings, and then finally having his own ankles break under the weight of supporting himself during a rare and in his case enforced PT session. Thereafter he happily became the Lord of the Bing. Actually come to think of it. . .that could have been intentional. But then the idiocy becomes "WHY DID YOU JOIN DURING WARTIME YOU IDIOT."

-Pre deployment, would go to strip clubs every free night he had and spend hundreds of dollars each time. Went into debt, for strippers. Some family member died and he could not afford a plane ticket to attend the funeral. Whole platoon chipped in, while contemplating murder.

-flagging another gunner's back with a 50 cal after loading/condition 1 by the clearing barrels, then bending down with all kinds of random idiot poo poo strapped loosely to his flak, having various dumb metal heavy attachments come within inches of the butterfly. He wasn't allowed to touch a loaded weapon after this.

-by virtue being a fat sloppy American, figured he naturally had inherent technical and mechanical knowledge. Would shout meaningless jumbles of words like "check the piston coil" in all seriousness whenever anyone else was staring at an engine or mechanical part, for any reason. Would then amble over and loudly talk over whatever productive discussion between non-idiots was previously occurring.

-upon looking at deactivating, the platoon leader told all of us we had a choice of either taking our leave then leaving active duty automatically upon leave expiration, or just being paid for the leave. The former entails basically being double paid for that leave period, since you're being paid wages and BAH while on leave too (thanks, America!). He emphatically maintained that he would like to just get paid for leave time immediately.

Best Friends fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Nov 28, 2012

Hell Diver
Feb 2, 2010

by Y Kant Ozma Post
We had a guy piss hot for taking his son's vicodin that said son was prescribed after having brain surgery.

His defense was he didn't pay attention to what bottle he grabbed and thought they were his 800mg motrin or something. He was also a fat POS and instead of doing cardio or dieting or anything responsible he was always just tweaked out on GNC FAT EXPLODER pills or some poo poo.

He also used to be a medic before he reclassed. . .

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
Had a dude named Hilton in OSUT that scored a 27 on his ASVAB. Dude was borderline retarded and couldn't do anything right. Totally cool dude, just pretty goddamn stupid. The one upside was that he was strong as an ox from growing up on some farm, and being a 12C requires lots of heavy lifting, which he happily did for people. He followed me to Korea although went to a different unit (him being a 12C and me being 12B) and hooked up with someone you would have sworn was closely related from the 1-72AR BDE S4 shop.

During the FTX, there was a frog that hopped out of the stream in the middle of our tent site. I jokingly said 'hey Hilton, five bucks to eat that frog'. Motherfucker reached over, grabbed it and hamfisted it into his maw, chewed and swallowed. About ten people saw it happen and everyone had the most horrified look on their faces.

------

I've told this story a bunch of times before, but it's a classic. We had a Regimental Birthday Officer in Iraq. What had happened was a brand-gently caress-new 2LT that arrived about six days before main body deployment to one of the scout platoons. Lost his nods before we left Kuwait. Not misplaced, not had taken, lost. We weren't in country for more than a week and he lost his weapon. His brand new M4 with ACOG and PEQ2. Lost, as in lost for good.

So naturally he gets yanked immediately and thrown deep into BDE staff. He fucks up in RS2, then RS3, then RS4 and gets placed as the RBO, Regimental Birthday Officer. Turns out that this dude was a fine arts major and had a real talent for painting, drawing and other related things. So he would send these beautiful, hand made birthday cards to people. Due to the fact we had 6000 people in our brigade, not everyone got one. We thought it was all a big loving joke until we saw the cards ourselves. I don't think I have mine anymore :(

------

In Korea, when I was short timing it, we got a new E4 dude to my squad. He was in his early 30s, which is extremely odd considering being an Engineer is hard as poo poo on your body. Turns out he just enlisted, he had an MSc in Chemistry from some place that I can't remember - I think it was Rutgers? I don't know. Worked as a lab tech doing analytic chemistry for like 80k a year. Turns out he had a really, really nasty divorce and lost everything so he just said gently caress it and enlisted, and it just so happened that 12B would let him ship in three days.

I got a hoot out of him telling me this, as he was standing next to my just-turned-19 year old rear end as we were cleaning up puke on the quad from the Engineer ball we had the night before.

movax
Aug 30, 2008

Vasudus posted:

During the FTX, there was a frog that hopped out of the stream in the middle of our tent site. I jokingly said 'hey Hilton, five bucks to eat that frog'. Motherfucker reached over, grabbed it and hamfisted it into his maw, chewed and swallowed. About ten people saw it happen and everyone had the most horrified look on their faces.

:stonk:

Someone mspaint that

:stonk:

e: seriously was this motherfucker a Hutt or something

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

movax posted:

:stonk:

Someone mspaint that

:stonk:

e: seriously was this motherfucker a Hutt or something

He wasn't that fat, no. He was like 5'1 or so and just stocky. Honestly reminded me of a military version of Larry the Cable Guy. Dude was strong as gently caress though, he used to carry a ton of ribbon bridge pins for people which are like 65 pounds a piece or something.

I did give him the five bucks for eating that frog though.

Oh, and it wasn't a tiny frog either. It was maybe about the size of a cell phone.

edit again: Hilton would also tell girls in Korea that he was from "LA", the girls would say "ooooh, los angeles?" and he would say "no, LA - lower alabama".

Vasudus fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Nov 28, 2012

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

movax posted:

:stonk:

Someone mspaint that

:stonk:

e: seriously was this motherfucker a Hutt or something

MS paint threads for the motherfucking win.


My platoon was pulled up at this Iraqi drug smugglers tent. We had already searched his poo poo and were waiting on lift for the prisoners. While we were waiting, I pissed in a bottle and threw it out in the desert. One of the scouts was bulshitting with one of the drivers and somehow the driver got dared into drinking my bottle of piss. It got negotiated into 1 swig of piss that he swallows and one swig that he swishes and spits out for $1000. He uncaps, exclaims "mmm vodka" and starts drinking. I see some dribble down his face and turn around gagging. He was making like $150 a day or something.

vains fucked around with this message at 07:21 on Nov 28, 2012

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Most of my idiot stories are from Basic/AIT and they don't involve a dick in some way/shape/form so they're not funny.

Working at the CSH in Iraq did lead to me meeting a lot of Darwin Award Winners, though. Like the guy who got injured cutting wood with a circular saw. By cutting it on his lap. He missed his dick by half an inch.

Or the mechanic who wore contacts in Iraq, splashed battery acid, rinsed his eyes out for 10 seconds with water and wondered why his eyes hurt so much 30 minutes later. I guess having your contacts melt and fuse with your eyeballs would do that to you.

Or, finally, all the loving people huffing air duster.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
That reminds me:

One of my drivers (meaning that I was responsible for him, he was actually top's driver) noticed that there was a stray Iraqi cat in our living area. Dude puts on gloves and grabs the cat. Comes back ten seconds later with a very angry ball of fur latched on to his hand. Kicks the cat like a football out the door and has a nasty rear end bite on his hand.

Senior medic takes a look at it, says that he has to get a rabies shot to be sure. We don't have that at our CSH - just some medics and a trauma surgeon with some antivenom. So they have to call in a MEDIVAC for it. It is ~2:30am.

3rd ACR's policy was to call in to the BDE stating in plain english what you needed for a MEDIVAC if it was a non emergency, reserving 9 lines for actual serious poo poo. Apparently they had someone new at the BDE TOC that didn't understand this, so our request got forwarded to BDE air support in a 9 line format.

19 minutes of flight later, two Apaches ready to go are circling our tiny rear end FOB. The blackhawk they were escorting lands on the pad and a full PSD detachment comes hard charging out. I'm standing there next to my dumbass soldier with a brown tshirt, unbloused DCU pants, a boonie cap, my M9 and flip flops. Crew chief comes up to me, as two medics behind him have a stretcher ready, and asks where the patient is. I point at my soldier, in full DCUs next to me with a big bandage on his hand.

Crew chief looks over at my soldier, who simply says "I GOTS BIT BY A CAT". Entire PSD detachment goes from :eng101: to :eng99: in about two seconds.

Secret Spoon
Mar 22, 2009

I would drink with Hilton. Dude sounds pretty cool.


I worked with this AE2 who sounds like Fran Drescher. She was loud, mumbled to herself, and had to go home everyday to make a meal for her son (who was like 15). She was also from lower Alabama and talked about how great it was all the time and I think she was mid 30's. Here are a few good stories about her, to protect her and myself I will call her fran.

IM SUING THE NAVY:
So its 2010 and I just made 3rd class(e4). My two friends both made second (e5). They made it first time up because they both cut near perfect scores on the test and had good evals. Well Fran was an E4 at the time and was mad that two younger kids had made e5 before her. She started shouting in the shop and throwing poo poo at them when the news came out. Fran was loving hysterical, she couldn't be consoled. Keep in mind this is a woman in her mid 30's. The last thing I remember was her leaving the room with a runny nose, water stained eyes, and quivering lip proclaiming that she would "SUE THE NAVY AND THEY HAD BETTER LAWYER UP BECAUSE SHE KNOWS PEOPLE AND SCREW YOU DAD". It was pretty hilarious.


What do you mean I have to put the cannon plug back on
This story is pretty terrifying. If you don’t know what a cannon plug is it is an electrical connecter that ranges in a lot of different sizes and locking methods, and is the main form electrical connection on aircrafts. We had to go and fix one of these on an engine once, and someone had instructed her to obtain the part number, and there are a few ways to do this, one way involves taking the cannon plug and removing it from the jack and obtaining the model number. She did this with an engine fire squib cannon plug, which is what keeps the engine from blowing up the plane in the case of an emergency. Now any sane person can tell you that once you have taken the cannon plug off, you should probably PUT IT THE gently caress BACK. She did not do this and the jet left the next morning on a det run. We get a call from the jet in the morning and we all scramble to figure out why the jet engine developed a gripe over night. We call the previous shift and try to figure out what went on. 13 hours later we get a hold of Fran and she is complaining and mad and loudly proclaiming how tired she was. We figure out that she had removed the cannon plug to get a model number and never put it back by the next morning. She comes into the shop for her shift and is blaming everyone in front of the CO, XO, MO, AMO, and various div and branch O's. Her defense when she finally concedes it was her?

"Well no one told me to put it back on".
:psyduck:



I have plenty more about her and another few wonderful souls here.

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

Vasudus posted:

That reminds me:

One of my drivers (meaning that I was responsible for him, he was actually top's driver) noticed that there was a stray Iraqi cat in our living area. Dude puts on gloves and grabs the cat. Comes back ten seconds later with a very angry ball of fur latched on to his hand. Kicks the cat like a football out the door and has a nasty rear end bite on his hand.

Senior medic takes a look at it, says that he has to get a rabies shot to be sure. We don't have that at our CSH - just some medics and a trauma surgeon with some antivenom. So they have to call in a MEDIVAC for it. It is ~2:30am.

3rd ACR's policy was to call in to the BDE stating in plain english what you needed for a MEDIVAC if it was a non emergency, reserving 9 lines for actual serious poo poo. Apparently they had someone new at the BDE TOC that didn't understand this, so our request got forwarded to BDE air support in a 9 line format.

19 minutes of flight later, two Apaches ready to go are circling our tiny rear end FOB. The blackhawk they were escorting lands on the pad and a full PSD detachment comes hard charging out. I'm standing there next to my dumbass soldier with a brown tshirt, unbloused DCU pants, a boonie cap, my M9 and flip flops. Crew chief comes up to me, as two medics behind him have a stretcher ready, and asks where the patient is. I point at my soldier, in full DCUs next to me with a big bandage on his hand.

Crew chief looks over at my soldier, who simply says "I GOTS BIT BY A CAT". Entire PSD detachment goes from :eng101: to :eng99: in about two seconds.

Did the BDE Watch O just call line 6 as x-ray for some reason? Was this before MIRC?

Vasudus
May 30, 2003

Veins McGee posted:

Did the BDE Watch O just call line 6 as x-ray for some reason? Was this before MIRC?

It's entirely possible, BDE had some real winners for the night crew. The daytime battle captain (1LT) was super on top of his game, the night one not so much. Our FOB was literally on top of the Iraq/Syria border so armed escorts were pretty common for even routine traffic.

Also I have no idea what MIRC is so probably yeah.

edit: maybe he was the night battle captain? They ran 3am-3pm shifts. Either way, doofus that came on at 3am was bad.

The Betrayer
Jan 1, 2005

Had a signal guy at Fort Belvoir who was a real winner.

A: Got married in AIT to a woman who ran up a five digit Discover card bill and then divorced him. He was falsely collecting BAH in order to pay his alimony.

B: Got re-married to a woman he found on AdultFriendFinder with three prior divorces. She promised to help him rework his finances. In all actuality, she reworked his finances so that she could take a massive cut of them and spend the money on crack/meth/crack and meth. She later ran off to Virginia Beach and only contacted him when it was time for her monthly share of the BAH.

C: Traded in a perfectly serviceable pickup truck for the shittiest Mitsubishi Eclipse in the world. For an idea of how lovely this car was and what "preventative maintenance" meant to him, consider this: His alternator caught fire.

D: Later on, as the repair bills for the Eclipse mounted and the alimony to the first wife built up and the second wife siphoned off her share of his finances, he took to pay day loan services. However, he wasn't dumb, he knew the way to get around those pesky loan sharks. He would open bank accounts, transfer his direct deposit over, get a pay day loan, then close the bank account associated with the loan. He managed to pull this off at least three times.

E: When the command finally tired of his poo poo, they started paperwork to boot him out. All offers of help for a resume or even getting all of his signal certifications together were turned down. As far as I know, he returned to Arkansas and is probably working fast food and hiding from loan sharks.

God speed, you paragon of Army junior enlisted. God speed.

Camelmaster
Nov 18, 2003

I work with a highly motivated fellow Staff Sergeant - also an intel guy. He's known for being a complete idiot, yet he somehow has a ridiculous GT score and a 99 ASVAB. Anyways, we were holding a high level brief for a very senior audience and on the screen was a map of the Korean peninsula. At the conclusion of the brief, the briefer asked if anyone had any questions and Staff Sergeant Fucktard raised his hand and asked, dead serious, "What's that blue stuff?"

The blue stuff was the ocean. He was FAPed out to base maintenance the next week.

USMC503
Jan 15, 2012

For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.
I'll share my better story when I have a bit more time to write it.

This one comes from boot camp. I also was a summer 2007 enlistment, and I also had a platoon of complete morons. Some weren't, but most were. At any rate, we had this one recruit who had scored like in the 70s or 80s on his ASVAB. Probably a smart kid right? Wrong. One of our drill instructors was so baffled by how dumb he was one day and if he was an ASVAB waiver. The dude replied, "No sir! I got an XX [enter ASVAB score here]." The D.I. was understandably dumfounded. Later, when studying for the knowledge tests, we learn that this dude is pretty much illiterate. He could "read" but at like an elementary school level. Apparently he just got REALLY lucky guessing on the ASVAB.

It gets better though. This D.I., knowing Recruit Dumbfuck couldn't read, took him under his wing to make god drat sure he passed the final knowledge test. Said D.I. was also fairly confident our platoon would place first because we had a reasonably large number of recruits who actually WERE smart (we had a lot of the smartest and dumbest people in that platoon, no one really in the average area). We didn't. We came in second to last. We also had a stupidly high number of people fail the test. Guess who didn't fail. Senior Illiterate. Guess who scored a 100% on the test. Senior Illiterate. The entire platoon got the every living poo poo IT'd out of us for that.

Whipped Buttcheeks
Jul 25, 2007
Chairborne Ranger
:allears: oh where to begin

So I'm sitting in the toc in fallujah at like 5 am and was watching the women's yoga on tv after I just got done calling home. We had just packed all our laptops up because we were moving to a different fob soon and all the sipr laptops were lying in the open box next to the rto. We had this one e5 who was no poo poo like 50 years old. He wasn't full on tarded or anything like that, he was just dumb.

Dude's on his laptop trying to watch a movie. For whatever reason it won't play. He looks over, sees the sipr laptops, looks back at his laptop and sees that it's the same model dell as they are and you could see the eureka moment click in his eyes. He tears the cd drive out of one of the sipr computers, slaps it into his own and loads in his cd. Dumbass couldn't understand why we had to confiscate his laptop.

Then there was the overweight E6 who was our area beautification NCOIC. He was fat, dumb and loud. Totally useless outside the wire, almost loving died of heat exhaustion his only time out. Losing his squad must have been a hidden blessing for him because it let him pursue his real passion, building murals. No one in the command ever gave him any direction or orders or anything remotely resembling responsibilities. It started off with him wandering our AO collecting whatever junior enlisted didn't know any better to fill sandbags and make little sandbags perimeters around our buildings. Then he graduated to sign making. While wandering around the fob he found the shop that made signs. Within two weeks there were signs on loving everything. Every office in HQ had a sign. The CHUs had signs saying who lived there. The terps had signs. The OE254 had a sign. The shitters had a sign. There was even a sign in the middle of the AO that said "SIGN COMING SOON" when he was in the process of having a company motoroster sign being made up.

After that things went loving pro. When he ran out of poo poo to put signs on he moved onto painting murals. He had KBR come in with cranes to move T-Walls around our AO to the spots where he wanted to paint. gently caress-off big cranes. KBR probably charged the government a couple grand to satiate this man's lust for T-Walls that caught the sunset at just the right angle. He then proceeded to paint :911: poo poo all over the AO. There were crying eagles. There were statues of liberty. There were memorials to fallen comrades that never fell since no one ever got killed from our company. George Bush would have said gently caress the aircraft carrier if he saw how patriotastically good this place was.

Of course he got his BSM.

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.
My liberty party somewhere (possibly Florida) gets tangled up with a group of our cooks, which allows me to observe this. We run into a gaggle of girls who are perhaps a little snaggletoothed but still plenty fuckable, and a dude loving striking cook jumps ahead and starts chatting them up. They notice he's got a wedding ring on.

"Oh, my wife's dead." <feigns sad expression badly.>

"Oh, I'm sorry." one of the snaggles says. "What did she die of?"

<thinks on his feet like only a cook striker can> "Cancer. Uh... Prostate cancer."

Prop Wash
Jun 12, 2010



Quick one, because it happened recently. C-130s have urinals in the back. C-130Js probably have nice chemical toilets too, but H models don't, they just have basically a urinal and you piss into it. The big question is, where does the piss go once you're done? The answer is that it exits the aircraft through a little valve on the side. Meanwhile the external refueling panel is a yard or two forward and during refueling operations the flight engineer is usually standing there looking at the gauges.

Cue the new loadmaster who knows none of this and takes a leak while we're refueling during a high tailwind. He now gets to do the FE's laundry for the rest of the deployment.

DarkPumpkin
Feb 22, 2007
wtf is a Title text
Oh we're sharing idiots in basic stories?

I was in basic training with a guy who had the poo poo stomped out of him for pointing his rifle at a drill sgt when he swung around to answer a question. This is after being sold several hundred times (it felt like) to never point the rifle anywhere but down range.

I also saw a guy run around the CS Gas chamber flapping his like a chicken and screaming. He kept bouncing off walls and eventually knocked over the gas burner. :v:

:edit: Forgot the hero of our entire training. Guy got kicked out the last week of training because it turned out he had been sneaking to the main base PX 2 times a week and looting the electronics section. Heard he made quite the sum off of stolen GBA's sold to other privates. It was only discovered because we had a locker inspection the last week and over 10 people had a GBA suddenly in there locker or bed.

DarkPumpkin fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Nov 28, 2012

RichieHimself
May 27, 2004

No way dude, she looks like Gargamel.
As for idiots my stryker driver was definitely one, here are some highlights:

One morning before formation he was enjoying a cigarette and somehow tried to smoke the wrong end after it was lit and ended up with a nasty herpes looking burn on his lips.

He asked to borrow $40 from me and said he would give me $75 the next week on payday. I said yes and he actually paid me like he promised. He did this at least twice that I can remember.

He blew all of his deployment money on a $50k car while back home on leave and then left it in the care of some chick he was banging. She found out she wasn't the only one at some point and made off with his car. Not sure if/when he got it back.

He bought a world of warcraft character for $900 that the seller promptly took back and changed the password on once payment was received.

He left his M4 on top of our stryker twice during patrols, one of those times he left it balanced dangerously part on the stryker itself and part on the slat armor.

His best gently caress up was when we were lead truck (usually we brought up the rear) and he took the first right turn into the neighborhood north of LSA Diamondback instead of the straight shot he was supposed to take. It added a couple minutes to our trip but we didn't care too much since we were just going a short distance away to an IA compound across the river. While we were chillin with some IA dudes a big explosion went off in the direction we just came from. An IP truck was hit by an IED right at the corner where we would have turned onto the main route over the bridge. Two IPs died and some more were hosed up pretty bad. There's no way to know if it would have gone off on us or what the damage would have been but I'm glad we didn't have to find out. He still gets a pass from me for all the dumb poo poo he's done because of that day.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Here's a quick one recently from my training TDY.

One of the brand new tech schoolers, just out of BMT, on his first day of class wore a bow-tie with his blues. I guess he wanted to be classy.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Vasudus posted:


Also I have no idea what MIRC is so probably yeah.


Literally an IRC client run over secure networks.

Biggest idiot I know would be the guy I went through OTS with that punched his newborn son to death. Played dumb, invented lovely excuses, finally admitted it to his wife who wasn't having any of that poo poo.

When AIDS CURES FAGGOTS and I were roomies at Tyndall he named his Guitar Hero band The Valois.

Edit: Oh yeah here's a winner:
I was at a farewell lunch for one of the instructors in the ABM schoolhouse (at Tyndall), sitting with a guy from my class who was prior-enlisted...something like 12 years. 2d Lt SC, from 2 or 3 classes ahead of us (about 6-8 weeks in the 8 month course) decides to sit with us, and flex his mentorship muscles. "Don't worry guys, this Air Force lifestyle isn't too bad once you get used to it." :laffo:

Fast forward to just after SC's completion of that course, and it's SERE time! I didn't mention it earlier, but he's a worthless fat piece of poo poo. He had to get something like 6 IVs in the field, and when he got back he had tons of skin just hanging off his face...he probably lost 25 lbs. Now this part of the story I got from a good friend who was in his team in the field. SC had to take a poo poo. Instead of grabbing a shovel and going into the bushes outside the campsite like he should've, he just marched off about 20 feet, dropped trou in plain sight, and took care of business. The SERE instructor made him bag it and carry it the rest of the time.

Fast forward another 1-2 years. 1Lt SC has finally become a fully qualified Combat Mission Ready AWACS crewmember. These jets routinely fly missions over 12 hours long, and if something serious is going on, they can fly up to 24. When you've got 20-40 people up there for that long, it's a good idea to give them a lavatory and galley (about 1/3 of the galleys don't work anymore, but that's beside the point). Due to the nature of the equipment aboard, a microwave is not an option, but there are two old-school airliner ovens about 6x8x6". SC almost started a fire at 31,000 feet by putting his lunch in there, in a loving tupperware container. When confronted, he claimed "It says it's microwave oven safe! See? OVEN!" A couple of weeks after, his squadron commander downgrades him to Unqualified after he almost puts two airplanes together due to incompetence.

Fast forward another year or two. Capt SC has been sent to Afghanistan as an Air Liason Officer! Good lord. He comes home early, for reasons he vaguely explains as being related to his deployment being illegal or something equally bizarre. The real story is that he was in an argument with a SNCO, and decided to draw his M9 and place it on the table, stating "Well I'm a captain, so..."

Capt SC was promoted to civilian in the 2012 RIF. :)

Godholio fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Nov 28, 2012

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

:stare:

What in the everloving gently caress.

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd

Godholio posted:

Capt SC was promoted to civilian in the 2012 RIF. :)

Well at least they got one right.

I don't have any specific dumbass stories, but I do have a lot of collective dumb ammo stories (also some collective dumb/weird foreign stories). Here's a good one...so we deliver chaff/flare mods (the individual magazines loaded with sticks of chaff and/or flare) out to the flightline in what are called transport mods (mods for short...yes, it can get a little confusing), which are rectangular boxes with a door that are mounted on top of a trailer. (I tried to find a picture but couldn't...just picture a big metal rectangular box with little shelves inside that has a big swingout door on it.) So the important thing for this story is that the individual mods don't have any retention mechanism inside other than the door; it would be too complicated and add too much time to removing each individual mod, and besides it's not like you should be driving around with the doors open anyway. Well unfortunately the designers of these did not take the stupidity of ammo troops into account, because there was a rash of incidents where people were spilling chaff/flare mods all over the road or flightline because they forgot to latch the doors and went around a turn or whatever where the doors came open and the mods therefore came flying out. When I say "rash" I mean this thing was at seriously epidemic levels...at one point we were getting at least one per month of someone around the AF dumping chaff/flare mods because they didn't latch the door. We even had one up here, although fortunately it was just chaff and not flare so instead of having to call out EOD to safe something that burns at 2,000 degrees there was just little aluminum fuzz blowing all over the place. So the AF munitions handling focal point down at Eglin gets to work solving the problem....after a couple months of deliberations and testing (which cost the govt a shitload of money, I am sure) they come up with a solution: they will install an additional internal latch on the doors that will latch automatically when the doors are shut and act as a fail-safe, so even if you forget to latch the (huge, blindingly obvious) external latch, as long as the door is shut completely the internal latch should hold it shut. Problem solved, right?

Not so much. Despite there being a crash program undertaken to immediately install these latches (when I say crash, I mean it occurred across a period of like 6 months) the incidents continue. Somehow idiots are both failing to latch the (again, huge and blindingly obvious) external latch but they are also shutting the doors in a way that doesn't engage the (supposedly automatic) internal latch, or the internal latch is failing, or something, because the rate at which people are dumping chaff/flare on the ground not only remained the same, it actually increased. So the munitions handling focal point gets back to work, and comes up with another solution: they will mount the transport mods on little ramps, so when they sit on the trailer they will sit inclined about 5 degrees or so towards the center of the trailer, so even if the doors are completely unlatched you would have to take a pretty tight corner with some serious speed to get enough force to have the doors come open (like we're talking speeds that really shouldn't even be possible in a bobtail towing a loaded trailer). It works, but the transport mods look goofy as poo poo sitting on trailers canted in like that, which I think is a fitting monument to the institutional stupidity of the ammo career field.

So I said I didn't have any individual stories, but I take that back, I've got two. First one...there was this guy who used to work up here who looked very similar to Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. This should've been enough to set off alarm bells. However, when he was "deployed" to Guam with a TSP, he decided that it would be appropriate to start masturbating in his room with the door unlocked (he had a roommate). And I'm not talking like "ha ha, I'll intentionally masturbate when I know he's coming back because he'll walk in and it will be awkward and funny," I'm talking it just didn't occur to him that his roommate might walk in while he was taking care of business. The SECOND time this happened he was doing it to some sort of children's cartoon with semi-scantily clad females (think like Sailor Moon or something), and it wasn't while he roommate was out of the room, it was while he was taking a loving shower. Keep in mind it isn't like he's deployed to the desert where he could at least ostensibly say he didn't have any porn because of GO #1, he was on Guam...broadband internet connection and he could have brought all the porn he wanted with him, not to mention the brothels fronting as strip clubs right out the gate. But no, he's pounding it in his dorm room to a children's cartoon. After the second time, his roommate brought it up the chain who took it to the deployed shirt. The shirt was female. When she came calling to chat about personal boundaries and professionalism (i.e., don't masturbate in front of your roommate), our intrepid airman answered the door naked, flushed, and out of breath (thankfully he at least didn't have an erection.) Pretty sure he got an LOC for all that, and he only stayed in for one enlistment so he's now out of the AF (so at least he made one smart decision in life.)

Next one involves vehicles, which are the bane of any ammo leadership's existence because there hasn't been a vehicle built that ammo hasn't found a new and inventive way to destroy. There's of course the run of the mill accidents, banging vehicles up plowing snow, running into buildings, stuff like that...my favorite from that category is when they almost unintentionally blew up the admin building out at storage. Our storage facility is separate from the main bomb dump way out in the middle of the woods (so we can store large amounts of explosives), so they have a propane or natural gas or whatever tank like you would see on a rural farmhouse. For some reason the line from this tank to the admin building was ABOVE GROUND, so when they were running a plow truck through there they unintentionally clipped the line and sprung a gas leak. However, there are some airmen who stand above the rest in their ability to gently caress up vehicles. This SrA was one of them. In his couple of years here he wrecked a couple six pax pickups, a couple bobtails, a 6K standard forklift, a 10K AT forklift (twice), and was the reason a deuce and a half got all hosed up pulling into the storage building (he was spotting). The two most noteworthy are the deuce incident and the time he broke the AT's windshield. Like I said, he was spotting the deuce (not an actual M35, it was a commercial truck with a flatbed that was right around the same weight class as the M35, hence it being referred to as a deuce). The storage building was kind of small, so in order for the truck to fully clear the roll up door had to be all the way up. This particular day the door was not in fact all the way up, so as he stood by spotting and watching, the driver drove the truck into the door, loving up both the door and the exhaust stack on the truck. The 10K incident was when it got stuck in snow...so instead of calling mobile joe or someone with actual equipment and training to pull it out, he decides to do it himself with another AT. He decides to use a tie down strap. All is going well until he takes it under tension...whatever that tow strap was rated for was nowhere near the dynamic force of using one 10K AT to pull out another 10K AT, so the strap failed catastrophically and flew back with enough force that it broke the windshield on one of the ATs.

After that he wasn't allowed anywhere near vehicles.

I'll give it some more thought tonight and probably have some foreigner RF-A stories later.

iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Nov 29, 2012

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
Lurch was one of the most unfortunate people I had ever met. He really wasn't good at much of anything, and he was six foot eight so he always stuck out. He was pretty good at giving people the impression that he was competent though, before revealing the depths of his idiocy.

All the new guys, myself included, got basically the same bonus. $30K split into three $10K payments. After arriving at the unit we all got our first payment. HOOD RICH BRAH! To be fair I pretty much blew the first payment on stupid poo poo, but I didn't go in debt for it. Lurch did. We both had the same squad leader who was a drat good guy. He actually gave a gently caress about us and tried to help us avoid all the credit pit falls privates fall into. Lurch didn't listen.

My squad leader and myself were on staff duty one saturday. Except for being a saturday it was pretty legit. We watched movies, bullshitted, and smoked. Pretty cool day. Well my squad leader gets a very angry call from the platoon sergeant. Apparently Lurch bought a truck, a four year old Chevy Colorado. For $12,000, $10,000 of which he financed. At 23% percent. Cue the poor squad leader getting yelled at for an hour over Lurch's stupidity, because he said he told him it was a great deal. He of course had no idea he was even looking at cars.

Lurch also had a girlfriend back home, who was terrible. Big shock, so does every private. His was special. He said her $300 a month, cash, in an envelope. Because he didn't "want to waste money on western union fees". He paid for her cellphone that she was an authorized user for. She would lower his minutes/text plan every other month to save him money, and then rack up hundreds in overages. Also he would talk to her so sweetly on the phone in Afghanistan it always freaked me out.
"No baby I love you...baby...baby...baby don't say that! I love"
Sometimes I would be on the middle phone between him and Mr. "BITCH I'LL KILL YOU!" man.

My old PSG summed him up perfectly "Lurch, you the kinda bitch that if you and your girlfriend were walking down an alley, they beat the poo poo out of her and rape you!"

Admiral Bosch
Apr 19, 2007
Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?
Fatbody in boot camp who was too scared to ask permission to use the head. One day after we had 'crunched the house' for indoor drill, he sneaks off while the Senior is talking. One of my buddies goes back to his rack to get a drink of water, and notices said fatbody pissing in his own canteens.

He still wasn't kicked out. He even passed boot camp doing only 2 pullups.

TheArmorOfContempt
Nov 29, 2012

Did I ever tell you my favorite color was blue?
Some of these are so tragically mind blowing that I can't really top them. That being said Officer/SNCO jackassery is funny purely on the account of it involving the people who are supposedly role models.

- Anyway, in Korea the CO decides that the field grades and himself will tent with the junior officers. One 1stLt has a little to much to drink, and after playing a game of gay-chicken with another officer, he stumbles back to the tent and proceeds to piss all over the CO's gear, and then falls pants down on to the sleeping Ops-O behind him. Keep in mind this is in pitch blackness. Rumor is that the guy who got pegged for this actually took the fall for the actual culprit, since he planned on getting out anyway.

- My Reporting Senior for a short 4 month period was a newly arrived Capt. He was an air winger by trade and new very little about what I did, and I ended up having very little interaction with the man. Anyway, we go to the Phillippines and upon returning the Capt suddenly leaves the unit. Since we very little interaction I think nothing of it. Fast forward a full year I'm going down memory lane with a friend and off handedly ask "what happened to Capt such-n-such?". Turned out he tested positive for HIV. He was also married...

- The pilots in the BOQ were some of the most immature adults I've ever met. A friend of mine found a drunk Major pissing in another man's laundry. And I had the pleasure of overhearing a Capt drunkenly bawl his eyes out to a Major about how he had treated him at work that week had left him all sorts of butt hurt. Add this to generally being load and obnoxious, drunk at morning meetings while on exercise, being lazy spoiled children, etc.

vains
May 26, 2004

A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

Uroboros posted:

- My Reporting Senior for a short 4 month period was a newly arrived Capt. He was an air winger by trade and new very little about what I did, and I ended up having very little interaction with the man. Anyway, we go to the Phillippines and upon returning the Capt suddenly leaves the unit. Since we very little interaction I think nothing of it. Fast forward a full year I'm going down memory lane with a friend and off handedly ask "what happened to Capt such-n-such?". Turned out he tested positive for HIV. He was also married...

- The pilots in the BOQ were some of the most immature adults I've ever met. A friend of mine found a drunk Major pissing in another man's laundry. And I had the pleasure of overhearing a Capt drunkenly bawl his eyes out to a Major about how he had treated him at work that week had left him all sorts of butt hurt. Add this to generally being load and obnoxious, drunk at morning meetings while on exercise, being lazy spoiled children, etc.

All loving nobles must loving hang.

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


I had a Chief that was so dumb that I can't even recall anecdotes because it causes my body to twitch uncontrollably with rage.

I think he was rated twice (MM and something else......CS maybe?) before he became an FC and somehow fluked into getting picked up for Chief while he was in C School before deploying. oh wait there goes the twitching again

I managed to talk some sense into my division officer and he got his rear end sent to the mess decks, where he eventually had a break down and got flown back to Everett mid deployment.

AIDS CURES FAGGOTS
May 26, 2012

by angerbot

Uroboros posted:


A friend of mine found a drunk Major pissing in another man's laundry.

I wanna party with that guy.

Mr. Samuel Shitley
Jun 15, 2007

by XyloJW
There was this loving dude in my class at tech school who also went to Andersen with most of us, and he was a few years older, and already a rrrraging alcoholic. So he pulled some dumbass poo poo like pissing in the hallway of the dorms there one night because he was so lit he thought it was the bathroom, whatever. I was actually shocked that he was the only one punished for that poo poo since even the other instructors there thought the MTL in charge of our floor was a psycho.

Anyway fast forward about a month after we graduate and all get to the island, this dude has a fuckin rager in his dorm room, with about say, 15 or so people in attendance. I swing by for a minute, but I'm kind of tired and on a lovely bit of a hangover so I leave. Later, poo poo gets out of hand, people try to keep Our Protagonist's drunk dipshit rear end from going on some kind of warpath to no avail. He escapes, headbutts one of my friends, and takes a few swings at everyone else, and severely damages his hand while setting off a fire alarm fist-style. Fucker runs away. Fire Dept shows up to the false alarm. So do the cops.

Cops find this dude passed the gently caress out in some planters outside the class 6 across the way, and take him in, along with taking statements from the remaining patrons of the party (mostly completely shitrocked still).

Next morning I wake up to a knock at the door, telling me there's a commander's call down at the smoke pit including all attached TDY units. Sweet. After the commander gives his whole spiel about bad stuff and drinking and responsibility or whatever the Shirt brings out a list of people Mr. Shitbird named as attendees of the party. The list contains people who he knew, meaning people from the tech school class he could identify (me included) and not anyone stationed there he didn't know.

So we get sent upstairs to get into class A's before getting assripped by every SNCO in the squadron, then the Group, then the base commander, VC, and command chief. Then the base commander declares the dorms dry, forcing us to essentially break into everyone's room and steal their alcohol and trash it. Needless to say our little group of new guys were enemies of the dorm state for a while, even while we told everyone what really happened. All in all a good introduction to the operational air force.

Later the same dumbass dude got a DUI, in his brand-new jeep. I think it was a rubicon. Good luck paying that poo poo off back home dude.

Hotel Kpro
Feb 24, 2011

owls don't go to school
Dinosaur Gum
There's this guy I work with that while in tech school had bought a $1000 laptop from one of those kiosks that sell you poo poo for way more than what it's worth. Well I guess it was worth about that much, only problem was the interest was loving ridiculous, said he ended up paying something like $3000 for it in the end. I think this is something you'd know not to fall prey to, but I'm guessing he wasn't reading the fine print.

We had these meetings in the breakroom every week for upgrade trainees and some NCO would see how far along we were in our CDCs and poo poo. Same guy hasn't been keeping up with them and gets a brilliant idea to give a random page number when asked how far he is. Since he already had a reputation as being a dipshit, they call him on his bluff and find out he hadn't started them. Helped him get a 3 on his EPR.

We're sitting around bullshitting one day, and from out of loving nowhere he says, "Hey, you guys ever have an urge to stick stuff in your rear end?" I tell him that this is probably not something you want to bring up with your coworkers. He then tells us he's afraid to do it because if it turns out he likes it, it might mean that he's gay and that his wife will leave him. But he already turns her down for sex to play video games so I'm not sure what he's worried about.

There's some two day class called Airman Development Course that he signed up for. Not real sure what it's about but it didn't take long for him to get into a shitton of trouble for doing something stupid. They were supposed to play a game where you take the first letter of someone's last name and come up with an adjective that starts with the same letter. Well of course no one wants to play something like that but he outright says, "I don't want to play this stupid game." Not real sure about the full fallout of it but it looks like he got at least an LOR out of it.

I almost feel bad for this guy but then I remember he's the laziest piece of poo poo I've ever known and that he's the cause of all of his problems.

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd
Oh, here's a short and sweet one: apparently calling a PME instructor a oval office will get you booted from ALS.

Mad Dragon
Feb 29, 2004

So many TLAs, so little time to google every single one of them.

pkells
Sep 14, 2007

King of Klatch

iyaayas01 posted:

Oh, here's a short and sweet one: apparently calling a PME instructor a oval office will get you booted from ALS.

I don't believe that. I'm on break in ALS at the moment, let me try that and get back to you...

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

iyaayas01 posted:

Oh, here's a short and sweet one: apparently calling a PME instructor a oval office will get you booted from ALS.

Oh man that would've been a fun conversation if it was one of my guys. "Now, explain to me the thought process that ended with: I know! I'll call her a oval office! That'll improve the situation!" I think I would have no choice but to use the word repeatedly throughout the counseling, just to make it as awkward as humanly possible.

We had a troop the squadron was trying to discharge when I got into the office. He had 11 LOCs/LOAs/LORs (mostly LOCs). Generally they were for dumb poo poo like being late all the time, missing appointments, etc; he made the same mistakes over and over. He never actually completed his training to become CMR (ie fully qualified aircrew). JAG threw out several of the letters, pointing out where the previous leadership had failed to dot the is and cross the ts perfectly enough, but offered to look over future letters to avoid that next timne...because they knew there would be a next time (they were right, he made it another 6 months or so). The best LOC, though, was for falling asleep in the bathroom. He had vanished for about two hours, and nobody knew where he was. His phone was in the office, and someone had called his name in the bathroom with no response, so they didn't think he was there. It wasn't until someone reported snoring in one of the stalls that they figured it out. I don't know how he didn't die of a blood clot.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Nov 30, 2012

GoGoGadget
Apr 29, 2006

Godholio posted:

Oh man that would've been a fun conversation if it was one of my guys. "Now, explain to me the thought process that ended with: I know! I'll call her a oval office! That'll improve the situation!" I think I would have no choice but to use the word repeatedly throughout the counseling, just to make it as awkward as humanly possible.

We had a troop the squadron was trying to discharge when I got into the office. He had 11 LOCs/LOAs/LORs (mostly LOCs). Generally they were for dumb poo poo like being late all the time, missing appointments, etc; he made the same mistakes over and over. He never actually completed his training to become CMR (ie fully qualified aircrew). JAG threw out several of the letters, pointing out where the previous leadership had failed to dot the is and cross the ts perfectly enough, but offered to look over future letters to avoid that next timne...because they knew there would be a next time (they were right, he made it another 6 months or so). The best LOC, though, was for falling asleep in the bathroom. He had vanished for about two hours, and nobody knew where he was. His phone was in the office, and someone had called his name in the bathroom with no response, so they didn't think he was there. It wasn't until someone reported snoring in one of the stalls that they figured it out. I don't know how he didn't die of a blood clot.

We had someone do that where I work. An NCO kicked in the stall and pulled him out.

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


In boot camp, the idiot who had my top bunk was often gone cleaning the CQ (iirc what it was called - the hall where the MTI's offices are.) when clean laundry came back, meaning I was supposed to fold whatever I could of his laundry after finishing mine. Well, I had no problem with rolling some extra t-shirts, since it becomes almost a fun competition after a while. But this guy's underpants all had a very large, distinct poo poo streak. He staunchly refused that anything could be wrong with his hygiene, even when directly challenged on it and with the evidence in plain sight. He also never, ever brushed his teeth and had that creeping, dark orange, post-plaque crud. When the TI dragged him to the latrine to make him brush his teeth, his gums bled all over because apparently they werent used to it.

I had an idiot, JV, wash back into my class at tech school, then wash back into the class behind me. During the short time he was in my class, I was disturbed to learn he had orders to the same base as me, which for our AFSC meant in all likelihood we would be working in the same shop. Well he ended up getting there quite a while after me, so I guess he washed back a few more times. He was an expert excuse maker, but became legendary for faking sleep paralysis. Eventually he even (sort of) got away with blowing off a piss test! The story has a happy ending - after a change of command, the new squadron commander reviewed everyone's files, talked with all of JV's supervisors and CO's and decided start JV's discharge paperwork and not give him the benefit of the doubt.

Honestly, he did some work that impressed me, but his relentless poo poo-headedness was just unbearable. I've known people who would pathologically lie for no reason, but to constantly lie to make excuses is far worse.

My most recent and possibly most infuriating idiocy I've encountered is people who refer to landmines and hand grenades as IEDs. Seriously.

Mad Dragon
Feb 29, 2004

Some shitbird got rolled into* my division in basic. He was always talking poo poo about how his old division was a CNO division (they got a bunch of awards that mean jack poo poo after you graduate). Anyway, he got himself into trouble again, and our RDCs (Navyspeak for drill instructors) were yelling at him in their office. Navy basic keeps track of your fuckups on what they call a hard card (another thing that means jack poo poo after you graduate). Well, one RDC pulled out the dude's hard card, and the loving thing unrolled onto the floor like a prop from some 1930s comedy. :laffo:

Speaking of hard cards, I just remembered another retard from basic. He got rolled out* of our division for some reason, and they somehow found his old hard card. That's right. He went through basic before and got poo poo-canned for being a gently caress up. I guess he tried to enlist again, probably with a fake name. Who knows? We never saw him again.


*The acronym for that one is "ASMO" - Assignment Memorandum :eng101:

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Whipped Buttcheeks
Jul 25, 2007
Chairborne Ranger
Free Bradley Manning.

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