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I had a Saudi roommate once, and after we got to talking about the military he said that Saudi Arabia has a fourth branch in the hands of the royal family to foil coups or something? That's some third world poo poo right there. He was also a lazy shitbag.
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Dec 6, 2012 07:33
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Frosted Flake posted:I had a Saudi roommate once, and after we got to talking about the military he said that Saudi Arabia has a fourth branch in the hands of the royal family to foil coups or something? That's some third world poo poo right there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudi_Arabian_National_Guard
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Dec 6, 2012 07:36
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SentSix posted:"Do you have any idea the depth of poo poo you are in?!" This is a fantastic line. And yeah the UAE guys I worked with were completely chill and professional, with the exception of one colonel who got grounded in a major exercise by the British air boss for repeatedly cheating. Edit: V So he'd fit in with AF finance. Godholio fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Dec 7, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 15:42
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We got one of these in BOLC. He says he works from 1000-1400 when he is back in Saudi. Whenever he doesn't want to do anything here he says he is going to pray (allowed to pray 5 times a day) and just leaves.
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Dec 6, 2012 22:47
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calmasahinducow posted:We got one of these in BOLC. He says he works from 1000-1400 when he is back in Saudi. Whenever he doesn't want to do anything here he says he is going to pray (allowed to pray 5 times a day) and just leaves. I had to escort a few Jordanians for a flight when NATO AWACS was doing the Libya thing. My whole job was not to do anything on scope, but to make sure they were in OPSEC guidelines, not stealing poo poo, etc. Shortly after takeoff, they both fell asleep on scope which caused me to doze off too. Whenever a loud noise would wake us all up, we'd just look at each other, chuckle, and go back to sleep. Jordanian Air Force owns.
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Dec 7, 2012 01:55
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AIDS CURES FAGGOTS posted:My whole job was not to do anything on scope ECO.txt
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Dec 7, 2012 04:22
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I showed up to my first assignment at Luke back in 2002 all full of excitement and vigor and pride in the Air Force, ready to do my awesome job of network switching and crypto routing systems or whatever the hell we were called. Then I found out I was working on MCE/TAOMs which are forward air-control vans and very much on the Atari/Apple IIe end of the network/computing spectrum. Whatever, the shop was cool and there were plenty of cool guys to work with, including DBZFAN1. This guy was huge, barely ever in regs, failing PT tests back when they were still bike-tests and who's only civie clothes included multiple button-down DBZ shirts. But as a young, dumb, Airman he was a Mentor and in charge of a lot of the new guys' (Four of us from the same class/time) upgrade training. Over time we witnessed a few of his troubleshooting skill classics such as 'Main computer's not working, power down whole van at the Power Unit then back on like a light switch' or 'Serial cables that connect externally to van won't seat correctly, use a hammer' but nothing will top the Great Swap of 2002. There are four operator positions inside the TAOM, and (back in the day) they all were powered by 10k, 30k, $100k+ huge fuckoff circuit cards located in each position. One day position #1 starts having problems with it's (Three color!) CRT, not drawing tracks right, looking all kinds of hosed up. This is the 'Live van', the one van we needed up to run 'Sorties' as the other vans were used for training and could deal with a down position once and awhile. So it was kind of urgent we get it back up. Everybody else was either busy or off somewhere being invisible so DBZ and by buddy from Tech School get picked to go TS. Two hours of troubleshooting pass, just DBZ and Buddy locked in the van. Finally one of our SSgts starts to get curious and heads out to the pad to check up on them. Five minutes pass and he's suddenly back in the shop, ashen faced as he heads to our back office where the NCOs sit and closes the door. A little bit after the two Airmen come back in looking sheepish and sit at our meeting table not saying a word as the back office erupts in shouting between the NCOS. They suddenly all run out and head to the van and as they leave SSgt Curious grabs DBZ out with him. Buddy then starts to tell us the tale of Troubleshooting. Apparently with all power applied, DBZ had him pull the card bay out of position #1 out (This is ok, they slide out and have idiot lights on the side to help T/S), then the card bay on position #2 (Ok, sure, he wanted to compare cards?). DBZ then has Buddy start pulling lit cards from P#1 and hot-swapping them with P#2. "Odd," DBZ says, "The fault followed to P#2 but yet it's still broke on P#1!" Anyone with EE/Computer experience can tell you that if it's not explicitly hot-swappable, you're supposed to shut down power before doing any of this swapping (not to mention the safety risks as we were dealing with HV), so he basically just fried the previously good card from #2. "Well, uh, we'll try the next card." And so on, until he had fried 25 cards in 3 operating positions ("Because maybe it was just P#2 not working right, let's try the cards in P#3!") totaling nearly 700k in damages. Luckily four of us from tech school who had just arrived, Buddy included, had to go to formal MCE training the next month so we missed all the fallout, but DBZ didn't lose rank or have to pay for anything. Apparently it was decided that the ACs (ECUs) that keep the vans cool had tripped and a critical overheat situation burned 25 cards in 3 positions but not the 4th, as DBZ wasn't fully qualified to be leading the T/Sing and our NCOs were terrified of it coming back on them. Fake edit: gently caress that's a lot of words.
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Dec 10, 2012 07:08
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Almost all non-timing cards on our switching shelters were hot-swappable. They still, however, were very ESD-sensitive so when my roommate in Iraq said "watch this" and grabbed a handful of sand, scattered it around the aluminum Air Force cargo pallet we used for a platform between shelters, scuffed his feet around for a minute, then carefully made sure to enter the switching shelter without touching the frame, spit on his hand, then grabbed the lovely DLPMA card that had been giving us intermittent faults for the last two months but we had no more replacements in our ready stock for, welp
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Dec 10, 2012 13:46
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In basic, our bunk leader people, whatever the gently caress they're called, couldn't grasp the idea that the reason the TIs would tell you do check your uniforms and everything else, even if you already did it once and it still looked good days later, would slip something in your stuff to see if you were checking. They spent most of the time freaking out and going on witch hunts, accusing other people of sabotaging poo poo. Most of the other people thought the same thing too. At my first base, there was a dude named Troy that was buddies with some other guy that was on leave to get married in the states when I first got there. Because Troy always has to do the same thing his friend does, he starts going to the filipino bars, wasting entire paychecks on payday, getting some girl drinks of water. I didn't know he was doing this until one day he tells me he's getting married and wants me to go meet his fiance and that she also has a friend for me to meet. I'm thinking he met some regular girl and after work we take a walk off base. I don't think anything's wrong until we take a turn down the road where all those bars are. Yep, we stop at one of the bars. I'm disappointed that I'm not meeting an actual non-bar girl but we hang out and get some drinks. At some point, it's his fiance's turn to get up on stage and dance and about a minute into it, he just gets up, walks up to the stage, gets on one knee and pulls out a ring. She gets the most shocked look on her face, looking at all of her friends, wondering what to do. That was pretty much the highlight of the evening. Yes, he did spend his entire paycheck that night. Months later he shows up for work in the middle of mid shift, when I worked and he worked days, so we kind of look at each other, trying to figure out what he's doing there. A bunch of us leave to work and he tells the guy that's left behind that he finally had sex and it only took him 3 hours but it's ok and she was fine with that. Up till that point he said he'd blow his entire paycheck just to have her come stay overnight and she'd sometimes take her clothes off and he'd look at her naked. A few months later he figures out it's not really going to work out and they break up. A couple months later, he starts seeing some lady that lives on base with her husband but they're going to get divorced but he still drives by her house to make sure he isn't home before he calls her. Maybe a couple months after that, they're engaged. She'll be her third husband and she got a kid from each of her other husbands, along the way. By the time I left the base, he had just made E-4, became an unbearably smug rear end in a top hat and made it clear the AF was the career for him. It wasn't just relationships and money he was a mess with. Remember when I mentioned he always had to do what his buddy did? After the one got married he eventually started clinging to another dude. This guy made a bridge because there was a ditch between our parking lot and the shop. Since he made one, Troy had to make one too. This resulted in him shocking himself with a circular saw because he was cutting in a circle and eventually got around to cutting the cord. He also delivered chaff and flare, completely loving up the inventory on a couple occasions within a couple weeks of each other. He may have done it more but all I know is that his shift ended at 4:30pm and I'm going out to get a trailer around midnight and he's still out there trying to figure things out. All I know is that the first time he said he got flustered by the loaders and told them to just take what they wanted and he stopped recording any of the numbers. I'm guessing it was the same thing the second time and who knows how many other times it happened but he managed to clean things up before midnight when I got there. There were a bunch of idiots in AMMO but Troy was just one of those dudes I worked with for 3 years where he was always doing something dumb. I figure he'll either retire after 20(the smartest thing he could do), get arrested for child porn, or kill himself when his wife dumps him for husband #4.
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Dec 11, 2012 22:42
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Hahahahahaha...Ammo.txt right there.
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Dec 11, 2012 23:41
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We show up at a house for a loud party complaint. It turns out to be packed full of high school kids who broke in to their parents liquor cabinet and told all their friends to come over. They are all like 14-17 years old. Except for two dudes in the back who look a little out of place. Turns out their 20 and been out of high school for a few years. They heard about this "party" on somebody's facebook page. They make it abundantly clear right off the bat their military, enlisted trainees or something, and can't get in ANY TROUBLE! So we start to get everyone's information, get the kids to call their parents to get picked up, etc. These two guys provide their names, ranks, where their stationed, whole nine yards. At one point they must get under the impression that people were getting charged (they weren't) and asked another officer if they could go downstairs together to use the bathroom in the basement or something. Like twenty minutes go by and someone asked where those guys went. Turns out they went down to the basement, kicked out a window, broke some poo poo, and ran. Must have seemed like a good idea. Only problem with their plan was we knew exactly who did it and where to find them. A few phone calls later by one of our other officers (who is also an MP and now apparently personally offended by their actions), their commander was aware of the situation and the base police were waiting for them at the gate  . Quick way to turn a warning in to like five charges and a pissed off commander.
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Dec 12, 2012 01:00
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I used to work for a county government in Arizona. One day the police dropped off a new report. The night before, some kids had been throwing water balloons at passing cars. Well somehow or another they managed to smash some poor family's car window with one and got arrested for criminal damage and assault. Well it turns out that they had both just graduated high school and one of them was going to go to the US Naval Academy in the fall. Not anymore!
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Dec 14, 2012 18:05
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Dr. Tough posted:I used to work for a county government in Arizona. One day the police dropped off a new report. The night before, some kids had been throwing water balloons at passing cars. Well somehow or another they managed to smash some poor family's car window with one and got arrested for criminal damage and assault. Well it turns out that they had both just graduated high school and one of them was going to go to the US Naval Academy in the fall. Not anymore! Cochise County?
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Dec 14, 2012 19:28
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Booblord Zagats posted:Cochise County? This was actually in Maricopa County.
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Dec 15, 2012 00:38
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Dr. Tough posted:I used to work for a county government in Arizona. One day the police dropped off a new report. The night before, some kids had been throwing water balloons at passing cars. Well somehow or another they managed to smash some poor family's car window with one and got arrested for criminal damage and assault. Well it turns out that they had both just graduated high school and one of them was going to go to the US Naval Academy in the fall. Not anymore!  Bet he learned his lesson.
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Dec 15, 2012 01:46
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Dr. Tough posted:I used to work for a county government in Arizona. One day the police dropped off a new report. The night before, some kids had been throwing water balloons at passing cars. Well somehow or another they managed to smash some poor family's car window with one and got arrested for criminal damage and assault. Well it turns out that they had both just graduated high school and one of them was going to go to the US Naval Academy in the fall. Not anymore! Interestingly, nearly the exact same thing happened while I was TDY to Huachuca in 2003. A couple of kids from the 33W AIT went riding down Fry Boulevard (the main thoroughfare in Sierra Vista, the same road that leads up to the main gate of post) and were throwing water balloons at passerby. One of the guys doused a woman in a convertable. The problem was is that her husband was the MP NCOIC at the main gate that night. She made a call on her cell phone to her husband and described the car, and they were apprehended at the gate by a rightly furious E6. I walked into the company AO the next morning and could hear the senior drill screaming at this knucklehead even though I was on the other side of the orderly room and his door was closed.
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Dec 15, 2012 05:28
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Gather around kids, Uncle Hekk is going to tell everyone a story. A few years back (during the Marine Corps' push to 202k), I was a recruiter in a suburb of a major rust belt city. When I say suburb, this isn't your stereotypical middle income housing and parks with soccer moms and gardeners. This was really an extension of the city with the urban decay that's present in every rust belt city. My office was across the street from the police station and courthouse. The area I worked was rife with drugs and gang violence. In the 3 years I was there, I had 3 people killed in the building and parking lot of my building. One guy was shot and lying dead in the parking lot as I returned with poolees from a pool function. I had a druggie overdose on heroin in the downstairs bathroom. We also had a homeless guy freeze to death by the front door to the building. Gang violence was also an issue. This wasn't Compton or anything but kids were stupid and had an inferiority complex compared to their friends and relatives in the actual city itself. Drive by shootings were a constant problem and I had to drop a poolee and had a Marine on recruiters assistance both get shot in while I was out there. So now that the scene is set for the poo poo hole I was recruiting out of, I can tell you about the Psychiatric Facility down the street from where I worked. A couple of blocks down the road there was an inpatient treatment facility much like an Insane Asylum. Once I became the SNCOIC of the Recruiting Substation, I usually spent my days manning the office while my recruiters were out at high schools or other placing looking for kids to recruit. I worked out of the City Center, so there was a DMV, Social Security Office, a school for handicapped children, and some other offices in my building. For whatever reason, the crazies were attracted to this building like moths to a flame. Of particular note was one gentlemen who had a habit of coming by at the most inopportune times. We'd be interviewing a kid with his parents and this homeless guy would come into the office "looking for extraction". His story was that he worked for either the CIA or FBI (he didn't know which) as an assassin assigned to take out key cocaine dealers in the area. He looked homeless because he was supposed to blend in with the average cocaine user. I tried several times to explain to him that cocaine is an expensive drug and that it's users are not typically homeless but the logic was lost on him. He showed me his special agent ID, which was really just a card from the psych facility telling whomever saw it that this person had completed an inpatient program and was deemed safe enough to be released. It had a contact number for the facility in case the patient posed a threat to himself or others. I called this number a couple of times when the guy would come by but the people there told me he didn't pose a threat and was just delusional. So as we'd be interviewing kids, this stinky old homeless gently caress would burst into the office telling us he needed to be extracted. I ran him out of the building the first 3 or 4 times but on this particular day the bastard just wouldn't leave. He kept telling me that "they were on to him" and he needed to get out asap. He told me that he knew I had connections in Washington and that I needed to call my contacts and give them code "Abraham" because if I got biblical they'd understand it was important. I had to stall this guy because we were getting ready to close the deal on this applicant and it'd make mission for our station. So I told him that he need to come back in an hour and by then I would be able to contact Washington and relay his message. So we wrap up the meeting with the applicant and his parents and the homeless guy comes back. I am trying anything I can think of to get this guy to leave me alone, so I tell him I contacted Washington and relayed the message. I told him extraction was coming at midnight but he had to make it to the park 6 blocks down the road. Under the garbage can next to the basketball court would be a package with new clothes and IDs. He needed to put on the clothes provided and wait for the helo that would touch down to get him out of dodge. This next part, I can only relay from the perspective of what the police told me when they came to my office the next day. The homeless guy was picked up that night by the cops because he was wondering through the city completely naked. I guess he thought it was a good idea to get rid of his clothes before he actually made it to the park. Once the cops approached him, he of course tried to attack the officers, got the poo poo tazered out of him, and was locked up with public indecency, resisting arrest, and felony assault charges. Needless to say I never saw the guy again.
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Dec 15, 2012 09:40
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A de-frock chief, (now an E-6 again) showing up to PT with a "Initiated by Tradition" PT shirt. Granted, it was less about being dumb, and more about being a jerk and making all the other Khaki's pissed off.
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Dec 17, 2012 16:09
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Nerdfest X posted:A de-frock chief, (now an E-6 again) showing up to PT with a "Initiated by Tradition" PT shirt. That guy rules.
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Dec 17, 2012 16:49
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Nerdfest X posted:A de-frock chief, (now an E-6 again) showing up to PT with a "Initiated by Tradition" PT shirt. What did he do to get unfrocked?
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Dec 18, 2012 13:16
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buttplug posted:What did he do to get unfrocked? The reason he lost E7 DOES qualify for this thread. He was out with another new chief, and their sponsors celebrating passing transition/intitiation/what ever the gently caress they call it this week. They get rowdy at the bar, and a scuffle breaks out. Local cops called. They go to mast, the other guys back him up, blame townies for starting it. CO gives him probation, with instructions to go to AA meetings. He decides to skip his very 1st AA meeting. ....by going to a bar. CO defrocks him (disobey a lawful order). He decides the best course of action is to take it up a level and get the crazy train rolling by filing racial discrimination complaints against the whole upper chain. CO, XO, CMC, LCPO(he is African American). Once people realize what a goofball he is, the few friends he had abandon him. Wearing the Initaion PT shirt is just one more middle finger to the Mess. Several khakis gave him a "what's wrong with you" speech, and a few blue shirts gave him a "how can you walk with balls that huge" speech.
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Dec 18, 2012 17:39
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Nerdfest X posted:The reason he lost E7 DOES qualify for this thread. He was out with another new chief, and their sponsors celebrating passing transition/intitiation/what ever the gently caress they call it this week. They get rowdy at the bar, and a scuffle breaks out. Local cops called. They go to mast, the other guys back him up, blame townies for starting it. CO gives him probation, with instructions to go to AA meetings. He decides to skip his very 1st AA meeting. ....by going to a bar. CO defrocks him (disobey a lawful order). He decides the best course of action is to take it up a level and get the crazy train rolling by filing racial discrimination complaints against the whole upper chain. CO, XO, CMC, LCPO(he is African American). Once people realize what a goofball he is, the few friends he had abandon him. Wearing the Initaion PT shirt is just one more middle finger to the Mess. Several khakis gave him a "what's wrong with you" speech, and a few blue shirts gave him a "how can you walk with balls that huge" speech. I don't speak navy, but I want to find the humor in this. What the gently caress is the relevance of this PT shirt? Khakis are SNCOs and blue shirts are...? The navy is weird.
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Dec 18, 2012 18:41
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smertrioslol posted:I don't speak navy, but I want to find the humor in this. What the gently caress is the relevance of this PT shirt? Khakis are SNCOs and blue shirts are...? The navy is weird. Blue shirts refers to E-6 and below because we used to wear a blue shirt while khakis wore a khaki shirt. Nowadays there is no distinction because everyone has a khaki shirt or blue cammies.
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Dec 18, 2012 18:53
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Khakis is referring to E7 and up. He's definitely talking about the senior enlisted leadership in this case. Chiefs (E7-E9) are very protective of tradition and their own little club. In order to be considered a chief, you must go through "induction." It used to be called initiation, but they had to change the name so that it wouldn't be considered hazing, even though it really is. So once you go through, you're a part of the club. One of the things chiefs like to do is wear things that tell proudly how they became a chief and that they had to be inducted into the brotherhood. Enlisted people in the navy get frocked before they actually get paid for a rank. The actual promotion takes anywhere up to 6-8 months for E6 and below and a year or so for E7 and up. During that time, they can be basically dropped two ranks at NJP. You could have someone wearing a chief's uniform and get busted down to E5. Once a chief is paid for his rank, an O-6 command can no longer take away his anchors. So this guy gets busted. Instead of being dropped to E5, the CO just took away his anchors. His retaliation to the chiefs basically abandoning him is to wear his chief paraphernalia that he technically earned but isn't supposed to wear anymore. Balls indeed.
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Dec 18, 2012 18:58
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Mr. Nice! posted:Khakis is referring to E7 and up. He's definitely talking about the senior enlisted leadership in this case. Chiefs (E7-E9) are very protective of tradition and their own little club. In order to be considered a chief, you must go through "induction." It used to be called initiation, but they had to change the name so that it wouldn't be considered hazing, even though it really is. So once you go through, you're a part of the club. One of the things chiefs like to do is wear things that tell proudly how they became a chief and that they had to be inducted into the brotherhood. Cool, thanks for the info. The air force has a similar scheme with their enlisted promotions. I don't think we have a cool word for it like you guys do. I think we just call them bitches.
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Dec 18, 2012 21:13
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smertrioslol posted:Cool, thanks for the info. The air force has a similar scheme with their enlisted promotions. I don't think we have a cool word for it like you guys do. I think we just call them bitches. Frocking? No, that's technically a thing in the AF, but it's almost never used. The only time I've seen it firsthand was when we had a 4-star roll through the deployed base, so they had him officiate a mass promotion ceremony for anyone who was going to pin on while there. A bunch of folks got frocked, so they got to wear the rank but not get paid for it.
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Dec 18, 2012 21:20
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ripped0ff posted:While I'm still waiting around trying to get a good grid for where exactly this is all taking place This is something that always causes me to have an uncontrollable twitch. I'll post a story later regarding idiots and coordinates, but honestly no one on the ops side should ever be waiting any ammount of time for grids. Worst case scenario anyone in that TOC can glance at any of the ISR platforms feeds and poo poo out an 8 digit grid super easily.. and honestly it wouldn't be any harder to poo poo out a 10 digit grid, though the differences between maps => sensors => reality can make that 10 digit grid not actually as accurate as one might think. We've blown up a lot of (the wrong) poo poo because of retards and coordinates though. But honestly, from the perspective of a PL or PS looking to get a good grid to plan off of it should take no more than a few seconds for your TOC bitches to get that to you. Particularly S2 TOC bitches.
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Dec 18, 2012 21:24
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Nerdfest X posted:The reason he lost E7 DOES qualify for this thread. He was out with another new chief, and their sponsors celebrating passing transition/intitiation/what ever the gently caress they call it this week. They get rowdy at the bar, and a scuffle breaks out. Local cops called. They go to mast, the other guys back him up, blame townies for starting it. CO gives him probation, with instructions to go to AA meetings. He decides to skip his very 1st AA meeting. ....by going to a bar. CO defrocks him (disobey a lawful order). He decides the best course of action is to take it up a level and get the crazy train rolling by filing racial discrimination complaints against the whole upper chain. CO, XO, CMC, LCPO(he is African American). Once people realize what a goofball he is, the few friends he had abandon him. Wearing the Initaion PT shirt is just one more middle finger to the Mess. Several khakis gave him a "what's wrong with you" speech, and a few blue shirts gave him a "how can you walk with balls that huge" speech. Hmm a good story the best 
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Dec 18, 2012 22:16
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We've got a girl in my squadron who is painfully obviously a lesbian. Even before DADT was repealed. Hey, sure, that's fine and dandy. Things she has done: - Changed her name in global to (girlfriend's last name)-(girl's last name) and started answering the phone that way. Still before DADT. - Brought said girlfriend to the squadron Christmas party before DADT. They are definitely a match made in...somewhere. - Every time we have some sort of DV come to the base with an all-call, EVERY loving TIME, come Q&A time she asks some dumbshit question about gay rights. It never fails. The last time I believe we had a Brig. Gen. at the base above us come down, and her question was if DADT could be reinstated if Mitt Romney won the election. We've got another guy in my shop who I'm almost convinced is just  as gently caress. He'll sit there and talk to himself at his computer, mutters stupid comments under his breath, says stupid comments out loud and then immediately clams up and pretends he didn't say anything when asked about it. He seems to be getting dumber over time, since we've trained him on a few different tasks multiple times and shithead just don't remember do stuff good.Even better, 3D1X2 requires Security+ as part of the career field, and he fails it six times. Since he is not meeting the baseline poo poo to be in the shop, he gets shunted to ECO. Finally manages to pass on the seventh try, EVERYTHING IS HUNKY-DORY. He gets moved back to the shop, allowed to re-enlist, gets a 5 on his EPR. This is mandated from squadron superintendent level, so I think we've got a fast-tracker on our hands. So if anyone ever questioned if the EPR system is bullshit, there you go.
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Dec 19, 2012 01:15
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Alright more in the adventures of Gerry. I've already explained the kid was incredibly awkward and a virgin at like 23. As I'm sure you all know it takes real talent to stay a virgin in the Army. Something will wanna get on your dick for a check eventually. This kid literally got stood up by a hooker that he pre-paid, but I've already told that story. Well one weekend a whole poo poo ton of us decided to go onto Area J (a small training area right in the middle of Fort Bragg) and throw a rager. There was this old abandoned building that had power so we had music going and a fridge for drinks. Outside we had a bonfire going, it was seriously a ton of fun and a pretty fond memory of mine. Well eventually ol Gerry shows up, and instead of parking his car in the motorpool parking lot and having us shuttle him up in a truck he just drives his happy rear end, in his corolla, all along the tank trail. Of course he scratches the poo poo out of it and probably fucks the suspension up. Idiot move number one. Then he goes and drops his phone into the fire, and starts freaking out. He goes on squeeling about how if his sergeant calls him he's in so much trouble, he was told to always have his phone on,he sleeps with it on his chest so it can wake him up etc etc. This is hilarious to all of us and we start giving him poo poo about being a major human being. Someone yells out that maybe if he finally got laid he'd stop being such a bitch. Well a girl we called Candycorn, after her  worthy teeth, hears that he is a virgin and offers him the goods right there, literally bending over a dude's truck pants round ankles. Gerry stares at her, babbles to himself, undoes his fly and just stands there. Another buddy of mine, and save this for enlisted.txt, shrugs his shoulders, goes up to her, takes her into the dirty rear end shack and pounds her out.Gerry never lived that day down, the other dude knocked Candycorn up that night, and I realized that Army life may not be for me.
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Dec 19, 2012 01:38
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I think every unit has a Gerry. That one guy that just doesn't get it.
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Dec 19, 2012 02:03
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I feel as if we should replace Beetle Bailey with the Adventures of Gerry.
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Dec 19, 2012 03:13
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Ok here is a pretty good idiot story that was almost not an idiot story. So on my sub there was a nuke who we will call Jason (because that was his name) who had a hot as hell wife. Since before I got to the boat she had been cheating on him with another nuke who we will call Brady (because that was his name). Now this went on for another 1 1/2 years or so and I figured since they never got divorced and the entire boat knew about it that Jason was ok with it or got off on it or whatever. Turns out he didn't, he was just biding his time. Jason was about to go on terminal leave and was able to get out of going to sea with us because his leave would have started during our sea time. So while we are at sea he does his household goods packup were the dudes come in and pack up all your poo poo and send it to wherever you are getting out to. Only he doesn't pack up his own stuff, he has the guys go to Bradys barracks room and pack up all of HIS poo poo instead. Nice bit of revenge but there was a problem. We had to come back into port 2 days early because something broke. Brady went to his barracks room to find Jason sleeping on Bradys bed (middle of the day btw) with all of his poo poo gone. I don't know much about what happened after that but I do know he sat for a few months in the out-processing unit while waiting for a courts-martial. If our poo poo had not broke he *might* have actually gotten away with it for a while.
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Dec 19, 2012 09:27
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dscruffy1 posted:We've got a girl in my squadron who is painfully obviously a lesbian. Even before DADT was repealed. Hey, sure, that's fine and dandy. so whats the problem here? you got a problem with homosexuals in the military? there is nothing here that sounds idiot like to me, other than the retarded loving piece of poo poo who posted it btw i hope you get ALS you piece of retarded gently caress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8xIgb7oWpQ
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Dec 19, 2012 09:56
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Shimazu posted:so whats the problem here? dang your right 
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Dec 19, 2012 18:32
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dscruffy1 posted:dang your right Nah man, stick to your homophobic guns. Romney 2016. To be fair people that throw sexuality in your face at work are pretty annoying regardless of their orientation. I've worked with gays that can't so much as introduce themselves without informing you of how much they love dick/tits and then you have every other junior enlisted male in the military that thinks it's appropriate to tell you about how he spent his four day doing German hookers and blow. It would be nice being able to go to work every now and then and at least pretend I'm at a normal job.
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Dec 19, 2012 20:12
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Signaleer posted:you have every other junior enlisted male in the military that thinks it's appropriate to tell you about how he spent his four day doing German hookers and blow. I.. I... I don't think your doing this right if that isn't the HIGHLIGHT of your interaction with your young guys
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Dec 19, 2012 21:55
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Aww hell who am I kidding, German hookers and blow for everyone!
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Dec 19, 2012 23:06
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Signaleer posted:Aww hell who am I kidding, German hookers and blow for everyone! God bless us, everyone.
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Dec 19, 2012 23:35
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 14:58 |
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Shimazu posted:I.. I... I don't think your doing this right if that isn't the HIGHLIGHT of your interaction with your young guys What are you talking about? This is the best part of spending time with your troops. Especially once you get old and boring (read: married with kids) and aren't making any new stories of your own. You listen to their tales, call the "one upers" out on their bullshit, tell a few stories of your own, and teach the young guys how not to get caught doing stupid stuff. Accepting the fact that no matter what anyone says, young guys are going to do some outlandish stuff and helping them see how they can be smart about doing stupid things is how to mold some of the loyalest troops you've ever seen.
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Dec 20, 2012 00:07
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