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Hi all. I'm the sort of writer who has focused on a lot on just practicing by writing fragments and prepping for the novel I'd love to finish writing someday. But I know this isn't the most conducive way to actually refining my craft, so I've decided that I'm going to start trying to write some proper short stories in order to get that practice. I realise that short stories and novels aren't the same thing, but if nothing else I'd like to get my prose up to snuff so when I do tackle that novel, its slightly less terrible than it otherwise would be. So with that said, I'd really appreciate a critique of this snippet from a short story I'm writing at the moment. It's about 1000 words, and about 2/3rds of the story. Originally I wrapped it up in another two paragraphs, but it felt like I was rushing the conclusion and emotional aftermath/climax. So I've cut out the ending and am interested to see if I'm on the right track with what I've written so far, or if I'm just admiring a dumpster fire. Here's a link to it, I hope using Google Docs is kosher: The Pastor https://docs.google.com/document/d/12DwmjcpyVTRxIAp8a8zjixQhxO7JMWtin6pCuDHE05c/edit?usp=sharing Melusine fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Apr 19, 2016 |
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Apr 17, 2016 05:37
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lemonslol posted:I edited it for you, I did it anonymously though. I thought that you overused " I " in the story, and because of that, your story was a bit monotonous: " I did this" " I began to do this" " I saw him do that" " Then I did this other thing". Though once the conflict or action started, you stopped it overusing it, and started to write some of your verbs in past tense, and some were present. Thanks a lot for your crit, I really appreciate you doing so. newtestleper posted:If either of you guys are serious about writing have a think about joining the thunderdome. It's weekly flash fiction, and from crits on your work and others' it's a really good way to learn the basics well. Done!
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Apr 25, 2016 06:06
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