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The Kestrel posted:Anyone else unable to see the Death Schvitz youtube on the second page of The Chaos experiment? I tried a few proxy servers, but always got this video is not available in your country. Yeah, sorry about that - YT decided to copyright cockblock that one (and only that one, for some reason) in the US & Canada and is being a huge pain in the rear end in general right now, but we're tinkering with a workaround as we speak, so sit tight and soon you'll be able to wallow in all the joy of air-humping guidos and Eric Roberts' smug nipples. Also, yes, yes he has: http://i.imgur.com/R2ZCMK3.gif 4 Day Weekend posted:Might be the wrong place to ask, but the Current Releases thread is closed do... King Gonorrhea posted:Agreed, I would be thrilled to learn where the CR crew ends up writing so I can continue to enjoy them. No idea, actually - I know a couple of those guys had kicked around the possibility of writing other stuff on the side or something awhile back, but I'm really not sure whether they're planning to pick up the CR format elsewhere or just go back to doing their own separate things for now or what. Your best bet's probably shooting Jay Dub/Vargo a PM and/or email or trying to catch up with them on Twitter or something?
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Nov 22, 2014 23:48
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I feel the sudden urge to pop in Real Genius to wash the idea of The Chaos Experiment out of my brain.
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Nov 23, 2014 00:00
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The Barbs are back! http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/think-big/1/ And now we know why David Carradine killed himself.
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Dec 7, 2014 00:15
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Say Nothing posted:The Barbs are back! Secret bonus video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7wSgGDZ6pI
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Dec 7, 2014 22:38
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Hey, so you guys liked that Legend of the Titanic movie we did a while back, right? You know, the crazy Italian-Korean childrens' cartoon where a bunch of guido sharks working for Phil Ken Sebben's evil whaling magnate grandpappy trick a beefcake octopus with giant anime eyes and the mind of a lobotomized 2 year old into accidentally sinking the Titanic while playing catch and everyone onboard is miraculously saved in the end by magical talking hoverdolphins and the Count of Monte Crisco? Well just guess what has a sequel - with 100x more insanity and a 1.2 rating on IMDB!     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWLWqHLwSkA Welcome to (doggy?) hell! 
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Jan 17, 2015 22:10
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What an incoherent mess of a movie. It must've been painful picking through the whole thing to get the highlights.
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Jan 18, 2015 04:24
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When I started reading the In Search of the Titanic review, I really, actually thought it was made up.
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Jan 20, 2015 16:58
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 This is my favorite out of context IMDb entry ever
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Jan 22, 2015 03:23
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DoombatINC posted:
is is this real is Awful Movie Database real now
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Jan 31, 2015 12:59
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BiggerJ posted:is No joke, I actually went to IMDb to see if that was real, saw the entry, figured some goon must have added it, then hunted down the movie and skipped around until I found proof of a talking loving screwdriver that was banned from Atlantis. Part of me still doesn't believe it. I finally got to catch up on the Awful Movie Awards. They made me want to watch Merlin and the Book of Beasts, a sentiment shared by no one, ever.
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Feb 3, 2015 18:28
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We can still barely believe that In Search of the Titanic is actually real, and watching it only made that feeling stronger. Trying to condense it down into any kind of plot summary just makes it funnier.DoombatINC posted:I finally got to catch up on the Awful Movie Awards. They made me want to watch Merlin and the Book of Beasts, a sentiment shared by no one, ever. Book of Beasts is unintentionally a blast, and everyone should watch it. We don't know what the hell James Callis was thinking or smoking but we guarantee you'll never witness anything remotely like whatever he did to and all over that movie.
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Feb 3, 2015 23:45
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With In Search of the Titanic you may have just found something worse than Foodfight!. Not that I've seen either.
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Feb 4, 2015 17:29
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Nightbeast demands that this thread be revived!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvUzwCp7uA0 In case anyone missed it, our 100th review was a doozie of a -50, and one that's been on our list for a long time - if you haven't seen Nightbeast or at least some of the highlights we captured you should drop whatever dumb meaningless poo poo you're doing and violently throw your children and loved ones aside to kick back with a nice mild vodka and water and watch this ridiculous goddamn movie right now.  Don't worry, you won't need to go digging through any flea market bargain bins or seedy torrent trackers - it seems to have gotten bought up by Troma at some point, so you can watch the whole thing on their horrible Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xHxS0bzIEg (trust us, we did you a favor in skipping the intro).    This week we'll be opening our hearts to let the holy crap shine in for Part 2 of our Jesus Time Story Corner AMM, feat. Kevin Sorbo, Carl Winslow, Jeff Fahey, David A.R. White, truck stop Jesus, and a movie with a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes that's generously been called a "disaster...even by the rather lax standards of the Christian film industry", so watch out for that tonight/tomorrow morning at the usual time!  Still crazy to think we've actually made it to 101 of these things - a huge thank you to everyone who's supported/stuck with us over the last couple years, even if you just pop in for the occasional read at work or follow the youtube channel or send us movie requests or death threats or whatever. We couldn't do it without you. This stuff isn't as high profile as it used to be, and can be much more time consuming/labor intensive than it might look like behind the scenes (especially some weeks), and if it weren't for your e-mails, posts, comments, tweets etc. we probably wouldn't even still be here. We do this for the laughs, and to dig up the very worst of the worst the lovely dank basement forgotten misfit bargain bin Z- movie world has to offer, and as long as you people keep encouraging us to destroy our minds and personal relationships by filling our eye-holes with this insane unwatchable filth for the sake of comedy and your amusement, we'll do our best to keep this poo poo rolling. Hail Satin  
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May 8, 2015 23:47
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Oh hey, I remember reading about this one where the Evil Smug Jesus-Hating Atheist Professor is soundly beaten by the Good God-Fearing Christian Freshman Hero...wait, someone made a whole movie out of it? Well, at least Kevin Sorbo's getting paid I guess.
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May 10, 2015 20:27
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I didn't know that the atheist professor and the atheist college newspaper reporter got smote by God because they didn't believe in His majesty. How delightfully Old Testament of the producers.
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May 11, 2015 06:32
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As a fundamentalist Christian and formerly a dyed-in-the-wool skeptic, I can see that this movie heavily grates against your point of view. And I don't at all blame you. Most evangelicals are myopic and ingrown. If Jesus were alive today, I think he would approve of John Piper's description, "Ingrown sheep of the flock." Let me say that movies like this can be fantastic at defaming the character of God by showing his believers to be nincompoops. It's not surprising that a skeptic would feel this way watching this movie. I agree from that clip that this movie looks hilariously bad from a cinematic standpoint as well. I feel bad that as a skeptic you got so little out of it because otherwise who the hell is this movie for? Evangelicals who love bad movies I guess. Reaching out to an atheist takes work and compassion, not scorn. If you don't reflect the love and character of God, someone can be skeptical that he exists because of their life experience or arguments they feel haven't been addressed. Atheism as I see it, having been an atheist, is sort of like being angry at God for not existing, as well as having a lot of rational barriers that usually have to fall first before someone is ready to be convinced. C.S. Lewis, who has been called the Apostle of the skeptics, saw it that way. I remember loathing evangelicals as an atheist. Ironically, I was recently baptized at a Baptist church by immersion. I realized God isn't who I have to be mad at anymore, and that we are all morons who desperately need a savior. The fact is, once I got to interact in person face-to-face with the people of God, I was shown nothing but love and acceptance by them that I could find nowhere else. The church I'm going to is also intensely theological and doctrinal - everyone may as well be theologian and a priest (probably due to the very high income-bracket and level of education). I had my arguments and questions answered quite well over a 2-year period of being educated in the faith in multiple classes and studies. I don't know where these unhelpful cultural productions come from but I'm rather ashamed of them. Fundamentalist Christians have the worst PR in the universe in everything but dynamic, in-person human interaction, and otherwise struggle heavily against their enclave mentality for some reason. I think that there is simply a barrier in media where any religious discussion cannot cross because of the impersonal nature of it. I think there is a large sect of Christianity in America that may have given into simple scorn and spite and a lack of self-awareness in reaching out to non-Christians. I understand where that laziness and crowd-pandering comes from: sin. Christians are still sinners. They are just awful people who are batting for the right team, while ironically many skeptics are ahead of them on the good people, good works, and overall charity train. I pray that this movie, somehow, encourages people like this to seek God personally, but I have to accuse the creators of it of not even bothering. In my own artistic mind I imagine a deleted scene where the atheist is in heaven because God revealed himself personally at the last moment, as is consistent with true character. God and him then have a conversation explaining how just because all of God's people are saved, they aren't all equal in the Kingdom - a piece of theology poorly understood by your average evangelical. He then goes on to explain how the makers of this movie will be washing dishes in the Kingdom whereas he'll have tenure for eternity. Because I'm an evangelical on duty, I recommend "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis. On behalf of my intensely hypocritical brethren I apologize for the experience you had from this movie.
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May 11, 2015 06:41
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CowOnCrack posted:Atheism as I see it, having been an atheist, is sort of like being angry at God for not existing, as well as having a lot of rational barriers that usually have to fall first before someone is ready to be convinced. I think this highlights the problem that both the movie and you seem to have, in two parts. One, you confuse atheism with anti-theism, assuming that even non-believers do so in a theistic framework, and so "deep down" know there's still a god, they're just rejecting him. Second, you recognize that converting an atheist hinges on causing them to reject a rational, realistic worldview. The other problem you have is that you seem to assume the purpose of this, and of the vast majority of the "Christian film genre", is to convert. It's not. It's made by evangelicals for evangelicals so they can pat themselves on the back and tell each other how right they are in their worldview.
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May 11, 2015 17:48
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Chairman Capone posted:I think this highlights the problem that both the movie and you seem to have, in two parts. One, you confuse atheism with anti-theism, assuming that even non-believers do so in a theistic framework, and so "deep down" know there's still a god, they're just rejecting him. Second, you recognize that converting an atheist hinges on causing them to reject a rational, realistic worldview. I think there are two ways to be opposed to God. One is mind and one is heart. A lot of skeptics are really philosophical objectors first and foremost, therefore its a mind issue. When I was in my later maturity as a skeptic I was very open to religion and spirituality as valid, although I struggled to sense it personally. Atheists can then be very tolerant, open-minded and good people. It is sensible for them to become insconced with the Christian faith by the hypocrisy of believers. I have become convinced from my life experience of the warrant of Christian faith and revelation, and that came from my own moral failings. I now believe it is an indispensable component of the reality of mind. Believers such as these still appear as hypocrites to me, especially with their atrocious insensitivity to the reality of those who don't believe, and I can't stay silent about the disservice a movie like this does for everyone in bridging that understanding. I do believe the heart issue is always to some degree present. Atheists sooner or later have to go toe to toe with religion on questions of the human heart and spiritual condition. Here they will lose, and God will always reveal to the unrepentant sinner his or her broken heart so that he turns to him. If this movie had any Christian vision in it at all, it would show something to this affect and if I had my way the viewer would see how horribly the atheist had been sinned against. The hypocrites would come off that way. It is delicious irony that skeptics watching this movie have a better sense of fairness than these ingrown sheep. I am incapable of being anything but a witness. Convincing those of their need is completely the work of God in their life. But what I can say is that when you see the world with fresh eyes, the hypocrites can seem even more loathsome to you because those who have received the good news don't know a thing about sharing it. The light condemns those it shines on freely who chose to ignore it. This movie, because of its subject matter, should seek that higher calling. I really feel that the atheist chracter here, for how he is treated and portrayed by God's people, is God's true instrument. Dare I say he's almost a Christ of sorts. My heart pours out for a guy who is scorned and mistreated his whole life for being skeptical, like I was. If we couldn't convince him, we should look to our sins of exclusivity and herd mentality and hang our heads in shame before He who desires Mercy, Compassion, and Sacrifice. CowOnCrack fucked around with this message at 01:10 on May 12, 2015 |
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May 12, 2015 00:46
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CowOnCrack posted:On behalf of my intensely hypocritical brethren I apologize for the experience you had from this movie. Full disclosure: I'm Jewish, I believe in God, and I think that at its heart, Christianity (as well as every religion) is beautiful. Evangelicals, for the most part, are a disgusting perversion of a loving religion.
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May 12, 2015 04:34
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CowOnCrack posted:On behalf of my intensely hypocritical brethren I apologize for the experience you had from this movie. No apology necessary, we're here to suffer for your entertainment after all. But we appreciate that people of all religions can come together and realize that this movie was terrible. We've done quite a few Christian evangelical movies lately, not because we're trying to wage a holy war but more because there seems to be a virulent outbreak of them on Netflix lately, and they're almost universally terrible. Even so, mostly these movies are just bad in the ordinary sense (we're looking at you, Left Behinds.) But God's Not Dead really had an extra dose of smug superiority and hatefulness that really made us despise every minute of watching it. We had a whole Madness worth of movies ready to go, but GND was just so awful that we had to devote a full review to it. This movie should grate on anyone with half a brain.
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May 12, 2015 14:10
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So I kind of a Holy loving Hell! moment while IMDBing the cast of Grim. From the biography of Kadamba Simmons (Katie in the movie):quote:
Holy loving Hell. Murdered by a crazy Israeli paratrooper. That has to be up there in terms of unlikely ways to die.
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May 24, 2015 16:58
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This review: http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/zombie-90-pestilence/1/ Was one of the ones that got me really hooked to the site. This movie is so incredibly bizarre and unlike any I've ever seen. As a lover of bad movies, I probably would never have come across this film if it wasn't for this site.
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Jul 24, 2015 22:21
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2DCAT posted:This review: Glad to be of service! Finding out about totally insane movies we'd never have even heard of otherwise was one of our favorite parts of the SA movie reviews long before we took over, so I'm glad we can carry on the tradition. Speaking of which, for sheer bad-movie insanity I have to recommend http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/exterminator-city/1/ - Greasnin's review is hilarious, too. We actually have another German zombie movie in the pipeline, but it can't compare with Zombie 90. I don't think we'll ever find anything like that again.
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Jul 25, 2015 05:15
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Hydrogen posted:Glad to be of service! Finding out about totally insane movies we'd never have even heard of otherwise was one of our favorite parts of the SA movie reviews long before we took over, so I'm glad we can carry on the tradition. Exterminator City!! I loved that film. For some reason, it reminded me of what would happen if Andy Sidaris decided to give it a go at a Sci Fi-esque film. I would really, really, really recommend checking out/doing recaps for some of Neil Breen's movies. I have done them for some other sites, and the subject of his films is so ridiculous that it is almost impossible for the write-ups to not be entertaining and funny. Double Down is probably the most available of the titles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ44FLJA4Js
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Jul 27, 2015 15:04
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I actually saw "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" on Playboy.
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Aug 15, 2015 10:42
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Khazar-khum posted:I actually saw "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" on Playboy. I saw an edited version on Spike many years ago when they were airing all of the Sidaris Hawai'i movies over the course of the Summer (I think? I remember it was later at night) It's a masterpiece compared to the usual movies reviewed for this segment, kinda surprised it made the cut!
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Aug 15, 2015 18:28
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Lagg posted:I saw an edited version on Spike many years ago when they were airing all of the Sidaris Hawai'i movies over the course of the Summer (I think? I remember it was later at night) Yeah, Hard Ticket is probably one of the best/most watchable movies we've ever reviewed, overall - we saw it a few years ago and always felt the urge to review it because it's just so ridiculous and entertaining we couldn't help ourselves. 2DCAT posted:Exterminator City!! I loved that film. For some reason, it reminded me of what would happen if Andy Sidaris decided to give it a go at a Sci Fi-esque film. I don't usually say this because we never know for sure what we'll end up watching/reviewing at any given time, but there is absolutely no loving way we will not be reviewing Double Down - just the trailer alone is incredible and made us have to watch it. Who knows, it might even end up being the first -51!
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Aug 16, 2015 08:59
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LOL - I'm glad you call out the hot tub scene in Hard Ticket to Hawaii. There are so many scenes in his movies where it's basically two girls who find a (bad) reason to take their tops off, proceed to talk about a plot point (often minor subplot), and then.... scene. I almost get the feeling that Sidaras knows he'll be losing the audience at certain points in the film and then throws in scenes like these to get folks to keep watching. PS: I still find myself randomly saying "This ones for the molokai cops!" before doing random things in life.
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Aug 17, 2015 13:20
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I want to see Do or Die, with Pat Morita as the evil crime boss.
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Aug 21, 2015 19:25
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http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/robo-vampire/ I just want to say that Robo Vampire is one of my favorite bad movies that I have ever seen. It's a loving trainwreck from start to finish because it's actually TWO different films the guy went overbudget on that he tried to weave together into a coherent film. I dunno why either of his films needed Chinese vampires but gently caress it, it was worth it. One of my favorite scenes is when the lady dives out of the window of the church, and apparently they didn't have any stuntwomen so they put a wig and a dress on one of the stuntmen. With a mustache. And they don't even try to match her long blonde hair or fair skin. 
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Aug 29, 2015 20:44
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Yeah, that guy with the stupid soul patch who goes to hell in The Encounter. That's the wrestler, Sting. http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/the-encounter/ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0096165/?ref_=tt_ov_st
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Sep 14, 2015 04:10
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John Dyne posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/robo-vampire/ It's been one of our favorites for a long, long time too - way back since before we started reviewing here, in fact. That two different films thing is crucial, but the real riddle of Robo Vampire is that it somehow feels like at least 3 different films spliced together and it's totally impossible to tell where any of them start and any of them actually end with the insanity of how they're edited together. The lady mustache dive is loving beautiful, and makes me wish we'd given you a guest spot on the review just for that. In a way it's an easy movie to gloss over the little things with just because there's so much wrong with it it's hard to know where to start. But rest assured, that image - like much of Robo Vampire will be laser-etched on our brains for all eternity. isoprenaline posted:Yeah, that guy with the stupid soul patch who goes to hell in The Encounter.  Yeah, we've been getting a rush of random people from reddit and elsewhere bringing up the Sting thing and holy gently caress that is amazing
Trillaphon fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Sep 16, 2015 |
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Sep 16, 2015 07:46
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Trillaphon posted:It's been one of our favorites for a long, long time too - way back since before we started reviewing here, in fact. That two different films thing is crucial, but the real riddle of Robo Vampire is that it somehow feels like at least 3 different films spliced together and it's totally impossible to tell where any of them start and any of them actually end with the insanity of how they're edited together. The lady mustache dive is loving beautiful, and makes me wish we'd given you a guest spot on the review just for that. In a way it's an easy movie to gloss over the little things with just because there's so much wrong with it it's hard to know where to start. But rest assured, that image - like much of Robo Vampire will be laser-etched on our brains for all eternity. A rumor I'd heard back when I first saw it was that they went overbudget trying to hire William Hootkins, the actor who played Porkins in Star Wars. While I don't believe it's true, especially since he doesn't appear at any point in the film, I love the idea that he was hired either for a lovely eastern vampire flick or a lovely drug smuggling movie, and then the director, after spending too much loving money on him, decides to just cut his scenes out since they didn't ultimately work with his 'artistic vision.' I also imagine the director wearing those big poofy director pants and a beret. RoboVampire was one of those movies I watched on a couch with a bunch of buddies, getting drunk and judiciously pausing to laugh at horrendous poo poo. I think we rewound and watched the scene where they get approval to rebuild the guy as a robot like ten times just for the stiff delivery. "Is this procedure guaranteed success?" Pause as the two scientists look at each other. One simply nods and goes 'mm hmm.' "Approved."
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Sep 16, 2015 15:21
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Finally watched Robo Vampire this evening and it was everything I wanted. It looked and felt a lot like Thunder Cops, and I think the one actor who married the ghost and the vampire was the same dude.
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Sep 21, 2015 02:09
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William Russ (the dad from Boy Meets World) was in this movie. I forgive him for this because it started him on the acting path that would lead to him being Roger LoCocco. I was mildly disappointed in Boy Meets World because the dad never once disciplined by standing him against wall and throwing ball bearings at him.
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Oct 24, 2015 07:51
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I'm surprised they haven't already done Death Bed: The Bed that Eats coulda sworn this is where I even knew about it to begin with. The other day I watched Death Spa (apparently aka Witch Bitch): The Spa That Doesn't Kill Anyone Until An Hour In some nice 80s tits though
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Oct 27, 2015 07:14
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Death Shed: g..groverhaus?
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Oct 29, 2015 20:38
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It's campy, stupid, and low-budget, but the concept of a foamy yellow stomach acid waterbed kind of gives me the loving willies.
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Oct 30, 2015 01:35
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You can keep running from Foodfight!, but it's still there, waiting. One of these days...
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Nov 7, 2015 18:47
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Where the hell do you find these things? Is there some oil drum somewhere that the MST3K guys marked as "HAZARDOUS NEVER EVER EVER OPEN EVER" and you guys race in with a crowbar like you're opening the world's shittiest Christmas present? me irl
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Nov 9, 2015 06:44
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