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It's pretty clear these guys have never had a cat tho: http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/uninvited-1988/ quote:Hydrogen: I don't even know where the hell to start with that. So the bloodthirsty, enraged mutant radioactive killing machine was satisfied by just having a tiny briefcase to float around on? Is that all it ever wanted this whole movie, a tiny, lovely boat? Cat's love sitting on little boxes. The movie got that bit right.
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Nov 9, 2015 20:10
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Thor the Conqueror. I think the comparison to the barbarian brothers is an apt one, because both were made as a shallow attempt to latch onto the success of Conan the Barbarian (Conan came out in 1982, Thor the Conqueror came out in 1983). I'm guessing there are a bunch more of these 80s medieval sword and sorcery movies each starring some generic oily musclehead who can't act. Google says yes. http://www.thesnipenews.com/movies/best-conan-ripoffs/ Hell, even Lou Ferrigno did one! 
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Dec 19, 2015 23:50
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http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/beastmaster2-portal-time/ Patiently awaiting the Hollywood resurgence of the oily loincloth genre. Er... 
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Apr 9, 2016 23:24
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Say Nothing posted:http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/beastmaster2-portal-time/ Us too...kind of - most of the attempts so far have just been really mediocre/boring remakes of poo poo that's already been done to death, only with all of the insane, cocaine-fueled madcap edginess of the 80s & early 90s gutted and replaced with lame CGI monsters and gimmicky 3D instead. Nowadays it feels like they're all supposed to be these deep, introspective warrior-poets with a dark past angstily disemboweling their way through Clichéistan to save [Insert Consensual Hetero Life-Partner] while finding themselves spiritually and being conspicuously kind to midgets. At the end of the day, all you're really left with is the various different kinds of abs and/or cleavage in places you didn't think human bodies could have abs and/or cleavage, and some obligatory seizure-inducing quick cut fight scenes. As much as I hate to say it, I think the days of the classically retarded, off-the-walls barbarian movie are in the past, and very much a product of their times. That being said, we've still got some unfinished business with this genre, and there are a few titles we just plain have to do, so at least their spirit will live on through our dumb reviews. This week we pulled another breakneck U-turn back toward the Sci-Fi realm to revisit our old buddies Eric Roberts and John Rhys-Davies in Endangered Species, an action packed thrill-ride about an invisible trophy-hunting alien poacher who totally is nothing at all like the Predator because that's a copyrighted movie that everyone has seen and they would instantly make that connection. Also, this is what the intro credits look like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3xT5h8ZDuA ...So yeah, go read/watch that. Immediately. Quit your jobs, kick your wives, your pets, children, fleshlights etc. down the back steps and prepare to
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Apr 29, 2016 00:06
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http://www.somethingawful.com/movie-reviews/lifes-jungle/ This makes me wonder whats the absolute worst and most bat poo poo insane low budget animation film made for kids. That video at the end of the review was disturbing and I hope it doesn't get any worse than this for the sake of humanity.
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Jul 16, 2016 08:28
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enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P8DcEg4G20 backstory (requires archives): http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3437721
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Jul 16, 2016 11:59
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The Joe Man posted:enjoy:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW9lHOMVFaY&t=3s
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Jul 16, 2016 18:40
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The Joe Man posted:enjoy: Oh my God, this is glorious. I can't believe we overlooked this gem last time you suggested it to us, this is going right to the top of our list.
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Jul 17, 2016 02:03
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Hydrogen posted:Oh my God, this is glorious. i'm not happy with my performance (one of my first roles) but i can't deny my pride in being part of cinematic history
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Jul 17, 2016 11:54
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The Joe Man posted:enjoy: This could top even Foodfight!, not that I've seen either movie in its entirety.
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Jul 17, 2016 16:20
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