Mom freaks out over TV show-now wants us to throw out our stuff

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Mom freaks out over TV show-now wants us to throw out our stuff

«‹›2 »

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

It's tedious as heck.

Like dealing with you over the last seven months?

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 22:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 00:26

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

It's an internship. I'll pick up a copy of "The Elements of Style" at my library today.

Yeah, that'll solve all your problems. And while you're there you should ask for a copy of the biggest dictionary they carry so the librarian can beat the poo poo out of you with it.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2013 18:21

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Please Benny, don't do anything stupid like walk into the interview with your dick hanging out, or provide a list of your favorite Dr. Seuss political cartoons that you've printed out and put into a clear plastic binder.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2013 00:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

Any book recommendations?

Have you ever heard of Ayn Rand?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2013 16:30

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

I've written essay after essay...

Ahahahahahaha

# ¿ Oct 26, 2013 06:00

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

My immediate plan is to eat breakfast. Or get a Master's degree.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2013 13:06

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I'm not going to read the thread, but here is my detailed analysis anyway:

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 13:48

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Don't worry folks, I'm sure Benny will listen to your advice this time...

# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 16:06

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

So what kind of comic books are we talking about here?

# ¿ Jan 16, 2014 18:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the English Major posted:

Wouldn't I have to of majored in business for that?

Hahahaha

Never give up on your dreams, champ!

# ¿ Jan 17, 2014 13:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The fact that he refuses to acknowledge the adorable grammar mistake on the last page is a fantastic summation of the last year he's spent trying not to gently caress up anything beyond having breakfast.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2014 14:59

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Yeah, I'm sure if you gently caress up yet again, it'll be WampaLord's fault.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2014 04:31

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

You act as though everything thus far hasn't been a mockery.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 01:14

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Ladies and gentlemen, the next great American author!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 22:56

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Hey Benny, I'd say "Don't quit your day job" but...

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 23:15

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

I called every company on my 20 list and about a fourth have actual positions open.

I have no idea what this sentence means.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 00:46

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I shouldn't have to put any effort into parsing it, he's supposed to be a loving writer.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 00:57

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

He still hasn't told me what kind of comic books we're talking about here.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 01:07

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Blitter posted:

Edit: I read it again and realized my brain autocorrected half of the unparseable bits. 20 list? Benny, what the gently caress dude. Do you read or think about what you write?

Exactly. Also a strange choice to use numerals for twenty but type out 1/4 in the same sentence.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 01:35

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Yeah, but can he push a shopping cart?

# ¿ Feb 1, 2014 16:10

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

I have a mock interview...

As opposed to?

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 05:07

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Starter Wiggin posted:

I was trying to think of what Benny's, "A year later I murdered my entire family in cold blood" ending reminded me of, and I remember now.
You ever write a story when you were like 7 or 8 and end it with, "then they all woke up, it turned out to be a dream all along, the end"?
That's what it reminds me of.

It reminded me of when you were a kid and your parents grounded you for something and you'd be in your room crying and wishing hateful poo poo on them.

"Take away my comic books...what if I went to an oracle with silver eyes and then slaughtered you all in cold blood a year later? You'd be sorry then..."

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 13:57

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

docbeard posted:

Benny's either a mentally ill person trying (with varying degrees of success and credibility) to improve his lot in life, or someone who has dedicated upwards a year of his life generating a flawless portrayal himself as a mentally ill screwup on the internet.

What I'm saying is that if he's a troll, he deserves a goddamn Pulitzer.

Nobody will ever reach the heights of TobleroneTriangular, but Benny will at least get an honorable mention. I just doubt that he is a troll because he ignores particular criticisms and questions, especially when it comes to his writing and English language skills in general.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 16:13

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

How convenient that you've never made an effort in any of the writing that you've posted in this thread or elsewhere. Even the poo poo that you provided specifically to demonstrate the brilliance of your education and/or talent.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 20:46

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

"Hey guys, I really can write, see?"

"Benny, that was terrible"

"Yeah? Well, I knew it would be bad, that's why I posted it! I wasn't even trying!"

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 21:00

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Jeffrey posted:

Oh sure, I think there's something more going on with Benny. His behavior is far enough off from expectation that I have a hard time putting myself in his shoes, he just goes above and beyond in his apathy. I hope he finds some way to get money for more therapy because I think he desperately needs it.

If you think he's been saving for therapy and not blowing any money he gets on comic books and other crap, you're out of your loving mind.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 21:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

Well I do have good news: I have an interview at a local Sears tomorrow. I'm going to show up dressed professionally and with my part-time resume with only my work experience on it. At this point, I'm just really glad I'm getting interviews, now all I have to do is stick them.

Make sure to attach what you think is your best Thunderdome story to your r�sum�.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 22:01

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Advertiser posted:

Tell me more, tell me more?

Did he get very far?

EDIT: gently caress, way too late. And I've been caught quoting a song from Grease...

Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Mar 14, 2014

# ¿ Mar 14, 2014 13:18

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I don't get why everyone is so surprised. Benny's a liar by nature, remember? He does it all the time, even though he's terrible at it. Just like his writing.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2014 13:36

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

laplace posted:

My favorite part of this thread is Benny saying he's not a habitual liar because he 'knows when to lie" and now saying he's a habitual liar who doesn't know when to lie.

This thread is gold. I can't wait until Benny tells us his fight with his parents wasn't as bad as it seemed, that he was watching anime porn instead of Chicago fire, that his mom politely asked him to stop and never yelled, and that 'oh, my mom brushed past my brother in the hallway, never hit him!'

This story has more plot holes than the poo poo you submit to Thunderdome, Benny.

Benny never had a mother.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2014 13:23

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Yeah, thanks for putting that idea in Benny's head.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2014 01:41

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny the Snake posted:

The interview's tomorrow.

Everything's tomorrow, isn't it Benny?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2014 12:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

God Over Djinn posted:

That's actually a fantastic idea. Benny, you should really consider doing Couch to 5k. It's a tiny commitment (half an hour a day, three days a week) and will literally change your life.

I agree. Just put on some comfortable shoes and take a half an hour each day to go outside and aha. Ahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA!

I know you mean well, but he refuses to do things that would require him to sit on his rear end and stare at the computer, like apply to jobs or sign up for the ACA or not be a lying sack of poo poo. I doubt he's going to leave his house to start walking or jogging anytime soon. All you'll get is "I have an appointment with my legs tomorrow"

# ¿ Mar 17, 2014 20:22

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Lolie posted:

Isn't your Target interview in the next day or two Benny?

Tomorrow. It's always tomorrow.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 22:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Grammar? She died years ago!

# ¿ Mar 21, 2014 15:09

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Lolie posted:

What happened with last week's Target interview, Benny?

What are you talking about? The interview is tomorrow.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2014 13:26

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The only thing that surprises me about Benny abandoning the thread is that it took over a year to finally do so.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2014 20:00

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

crabrock posted:

you didn't read this thread closely at all then.

Perhaps you should read it again. Tomorrow?

Don't start with me, fucker. Of pigs. I've been reading this thread since the beginning.

EDIT: Hey, remember that time I called you a pigfucker? I'm sorry.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2014 20:22

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Benny doesn't realize that his dick is caught in his zipper until someone else tells him so.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2014 18:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 00:26

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Yes, people have been shaming Benny over the last fifteen months for living with his parents. Surely the previous 133 pages couldn't have any sort of information or context that may inform you otherwise.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2014 14:18

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Mom freaks out over TV show-now wants us to throw out our stuff

«‹›2 »