|
You and your brother both need to take your asses to the Department of Labor/Unemployment office. They will be able to help you leverage your skills into jobs that you might not have considered before. You should also go to any United Way agencies like GoodWill as they have job resources as well. Both places will provide free resume help and even interview clothes if necessary. Also how long ago did you finish school? Call up the school you attended and see if any alumni are offering jobs. Where are your friends from school? Where do they work? Are there openings?
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 00:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 17, 2024 00:38 |
|
|
Gnack posted:Except there's nothing bigoted about hating the actor or Chicago or fire. I don't think it's reasonable to expect someone to be sensitive to someone else's bigotry but I understand that's not the popular opinion here. Beyond a certain point, you have to decide whether the money you save by staying with your folks is worth all the rest of the headache. I'm gay and my mom doesn't like it. I stayed with her and my grandparents throughout undergrad with that understanding. At times it was really frustrating, but my folks were allowing me to stay with them and finish my education. As soon as I finished, I was out and haven't looked back. It's a tradeoff. The OP knew going into this situation that his folks were like this. It's not like they've changed or suddenly become crazy Christians. He should have been well aware of their views by this point and he decided to stay in the situation. Well, the tradeoff is that now he has to deal with their unreasonable views. I do not in any way agree with what his parents have to say about me or my ~*LIFESTYLE*~ but I don't have to live with them. He does.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 00:25
|
|
|
in_cahoots posted:I agree with everything you've said. I still don't see why people keep hounding him about how much money he spends on comic books, or whether he helps with chores. Except for his relationship with his (violently abusive) mother, this sounds like someone who's got his life together and is making the best of a lovely situation. I would hope people were at least a little understanding, instead of trying to make him out to be some ungrateful man-child who does nothing but watch My Little Pony all day. People are hounding him about it because any money that he has should be either saved to move out or spent for his part of the family bills. I agree that it's good that he has this unpaid internship and I certainly hope that it works out for , but his folks are doing him a HUGE favor here.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 01:30
|
|
|
in_cahoots posted:He's claiming to spend $20/month and is contributing to bills- is he really not supposed to spend a single dime until he has his own place? Well if we believe that his situation is as abusive as he says, yes. If his parents are physically or verbally abusing each other in the house, he needs to get out. Also he hasn't told us exactly how much he and his brother are contributing to the phone bill/groceries. I'm sure every bit helps, but it ought to be pretty significant. Gnack posted:Raising your child until they are self-sufficient isn't doing them a favour, it's your responsibility as a parent. Yes, but some parents say that after 18 you're an adult and on your own. I was fortunate that my mom didn't feel that way. The OP is fortunate that his parents don't feel that way. Part of still living with your folks as an adult is that you still have to put up with their rules and their nonsense. The only real solution is to move out. Morby fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Feb 1, 2013 |
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 01:44
|
|
|
Aerofallosov posted:As far as jobs go, you might look into things like technical writing, teaching, data entry and all of that. Your campus may also have career services for alumni you can use. This. Morby posted:You and your brother both need to take your asses to the Department of Labor/Unemployment office. They will be able to help you leverage your skills into jobs that you might not have considered before. You should also go to any United Way agencies like GoodWill as they have job resources as well. Both places will provide free resume help and even interview clothes if necessary. And also this. ETA: I'm not saying the OP isn't working hard at the unpaid internship. It's probably great from a networking standpoint. I just also think that he and his brother should take some time to explore other avenues. Getting a job would probably do a lot to help deescalate some of the tension in the home. Morby fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Feb 1, 2013 |
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 02:46
|
|
|
Namarrgon posted:It's the whole "my house, my rules" thing. It doesn't make any sense if you spend more than 3 goddamn seconds thinking about it (for example; how different would the general reaction here be if one rule was literally "no niggers or spics in the house"). I've been trying to find a way to say it right, but someone already beat me to it with the description that the inherit rules have to be 'reasonable'. The OP did not chose his situation in life (completely). It is not a choice not to have a job or no money. Furthermore he did not chose his parents. "You have to ethically be my clone" is not a reasonable rule. I don't like that his folks are homophobic and I wouldn't like it if his folks were racist, but realistically, controlling who has access to the house isn't wrong in and of itself and that's not something that you can force on someone in their own home. Saying who can enter the home that you pay for isn't unreasonable on its face. Extending that restriction to people of certain races is a horrible and lovely thing to do but how do you change that? You can't force someone to allow others into their home if they don't want to do that. I guess my point is that the rules his parents have are probably rules they've had the OP's entire life. It's not like these rules (horrible and ridiculous, though they may be) showed up out of the blue. He knew that continuing to live in their house meant having to abide by those rules. He made a choice to continue staying there. He is not going to change their views. They are not open to having them changed. If he doesn't like the rules, the only choice is to move. His folks likely will not change.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 1, 2013 14:15
|
|
|
razorrozar posted:Pretty sure this is the case, a few of the posters Benny wasn't able to respond to due to the huge backlog assumed that "getting violent" meant simply continuing to try to take Danny's phone. ...Which is why he should be using his savings to get out. After he gets a solid job offer he can get some roommates from Craigslist or with friends or something or even with his brother within a couple months.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 2, 2013 06:26
|
|
|
Go to a United Way agency. Go to a shelter. Couch surf with a friend and pay them a bit of your savings. If the situation really is as dire and volatile as you say, you need to get out.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 2, 2013 20:36
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I should've posted that, but it's not out of spite or anger or revenge or pettiness. And to be honest, it's beyond "my stuff". It's that my parents are going to intrude upon my privacy. First it's get rid of my stuff. Next it's monitoring what I bring in to make sure that I'm not "undermining their faith". Next it's going to be an open door policy so what I may watch or do online can be "properly monitored" so that it's not an affront to God's word. Hell, they might even say I should get rid of my computer alltogether. I use it as a tool to apply for jobs, continue my writing, and recreation. I shouldn't have to be moniotired for the smallest little slight against what they consider "right" in a moral sense. Morality undermines itself not by what a person surrounds themselves but when they impose it. I'm doing it to stop the imposition. I don't impose my views or my likes upon my family. If it was me instead of Danny, I'd change the channel. For gently caress's sake, do you not have friends you can call? Other relatives? A United Way agency or a homeless shelter? I'm serious here. You need to get out. Who gives a gently caress about your computer or your comics or whatever? There are things that are way, way more important in this situation.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 2, 2013 20:56
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I realize that. It's all privlidges. And as much as I talk about "respect" and all that, they ultimately call the shots. I just want to make it clear to them that we're all complicit and responsible for this and if we are to continue living together for whatever reason, we need to be peaceful about it. You're 22 years old with no job and in an abusive home environment. United Way agencies were designed to help people like you, even if it's just resume help, interview practice, and providing you with job leads. This situation is not sustainable and it's not tenable. You may be fine for a short period of time, but how long will it take before your mom blows up about something else? Do you really think you'll be able to get a job by then, without knowing when the next fall out will be? Yes, you are living in their house and you have to abide by their rules, no matter how silly. The only solution is the move out, and I really think you've been letting the poo poo roll downhill for way too long. And, as for that last line? Really? Are you saying that without a hint of irony here?
|
|
#
¿
Feb 2, 2013 21:12
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Guys I just want to make clear that it's not the religion. At least, not so much that. It's that Mom's a broken person. That she's been abused as a kid. And that her beligerance is a product of that. If it sounds like I'm being apoligistic, it's because I know there are perfectly wonderful people who go to their church. I don't want to paint that it's the relgion so much as it is the person. Just focus on taking it one step at a time here. Go to your uncle's, talk it over, get some rest.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 2, 2013 22:53
|
|
|
I don't necessarily disagree with your advice, but the OP is already a college grad and is already working a free political internship. Having said that, I agree with Fabulist also. At this point, OP, beggers cannot be choosers. If a warehouse job is available, send them your resume and try to get that job. Will it suck and be hard physical labor? Probably, but it's money in your pocket and you need it to get out of the situation you're in. Have you told the folks at your internship that you're looking for jobs yet? Do they know you're unemployed? Now would be a good time to network. When are you going to the Unemployment Office/Department of Labor? When are you going to the United Way agencies?
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2013 16:51
|
|
|
Jizznastics posted:I'd love to see the judge who would sit through something as dumb as "I mooch of my parents, but I'm an rear end in a top hat regardlees, so my mother hit me". Well here's a solution, OP: Go on Judge Judy. Everybody gets paid with a helping of wisdom and snark and we all get to see it. Win-win!
|
|
#
¿
Feb 3, 2013 17:19
|
|
|
razorrozar posted:This is a fair point, but if someone offered me a job selling insurance (or used cars for that matter) I'd snap it up in a second, because it's still a job. Principles are all well and good but your well-being is more important, and a soul-crushing job is still better than no job. Besides, at the very least you could use it as a stepping stone to a better job. One of the things you have to worry about with those insurance "jobs" is that a lot of times they're scams, anyway. With the OP's luck, I'm sure it was Primerica or some other known fake insurance "company".
|
|
#
¿
Mar 16, 2013 00:32
|
|
|
Aerofallosov posted:The thing is, at the moment with sequestration and horrible economy, the military is getting the pick of the liter and some folks are having to wait a year or more to get in. I'd say go for it if he thinks it'd work for him, but to be mindful that it may be tough to get in these days. Yeah, this. Maybe it's because I live in an army town, but I would never ever suggest the military as a silver bullet to resolving an employment problem. The armed forces have been turning people away for years now, and it takes a long time to go through the officer process. Plus the OP has already said that the military is out of the question.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2013 01:03
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I don't smoke marijuana. I'm going back to school Monday to find out information on teaching abroad. Definitely when my advisor is there. This reminds me of a post I'm pretty sure I made a while back. What are your friends doing? Where are they working? Are there openings? Have you even asked them? I swear, 90% of job leads are about who you know and not what you know. In my experience, people will be glad to teach you whatever you need to know about their specific system or industry or whatever if you actually come in with a skillset that they need and fit into the department culture well.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 30, 2013 20:50
|
|
|
So can you go to your United Way agencies to look for jobs? Goodwill facilities offer both reduced cost clothing and household goods, but also often have career centers attached to them with a group of social workers who will know of any openings in the area. Frequently when new department stores or factories or any other large company that needs to hire a large group of people quickly will pass long those types of leads to Goodwill. The social workers there will then look through their databases to see who might be qualified. They also have job fairs. Your local Department of Labor/Unemployment office can also do this as well. The Urban League (if one is available) do all this, too. I know I've posted this before, but have you gone to either place? What did they say? Have you returned? Did they give you any leads?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2013 06:08
|
|
|
Morby posted:So can you go to your United Way agencies to look for jobs? Goodwill facilities offer both reduced cost clothing and household goods, but also often have career centers attached to them with a group of social workers who will know of any openings in the area. Frequently when new department stores or factories or any other large company that needs to hire a large group of people quickly will pass long those types of leads to Goodwill. The social workers there will then look through their databases to see who might be qualified. They also have job fairs. Would really like an answer to all this, Benny!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2013 19:45
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:There is a Goodwill up the street. I've browsed there before for clothes. As for the United Way, I've been instead focusing my efforts on finding gainful employment. I'm adding Goodwill on my itinerary on my way to search for jobs. And I'll also contact Untied way. There's a contradiction here. "I'm focusing on finding gainful employment" implies that the United Way agencies aren't capable of helping with that. Then you follow it up with "I'll also contact United Way". Can you clarify that?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2013 21:51
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:Okay, okay. I retract my earlier statement that ADD is part of the autistic spectrum. It was an honest mistake And yes, I've read A Confederacy of Dunces. I'm not aggressive enough to be Ignatius. So what about when you called United Way, Goodwill, and the Department of Labor?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 01:14
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I'm putting that off for now. Tomorrow I have an employment fair. And I have to contact the FSA. I applied for student loan consolidation, but know I have to re-apply because I'm unemployed now. Wednesday I have an interview with McDonald's. After weeks of calling and applying twice. I'm serous: I got the run-around from McDonald's. Eh well, I've finally got an interview. Woo-hoo! Why the hell are you putting this off? You've been putting it off since I originally suggested it months ago! The job fair is not going to take you all drat day and it won't take all day for you to contact the FSA, either.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 01:37
|
|
|
Masonity posted:Travel to job fair, an hour.  What are you doing with your days, Benny? Why didn't you call those agencies today?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 04:04
|
|
|
fork bomb posted:OP, I'm thinking you should enlist, but go to officer's school or w/e so you get a(nother) degree in something completely different, more applicable to the job market. It's worth a few years of your life. Hell, maybe you'll love it and go career- full benefits for you and your family for the rest of your life. This is a bad idea if he immediately needs a job. Much like the regular job market, the military is swamped with applicants and they are able to pick as they see fit. It's a long process with a long line of qualified applicants. Plus, with the sequester, the military is trying to reduce the number of troops. One of the areas where they are really bloated is with the number of people who are officers.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 12:22
|
|
|
So...did you call Goodwill or the Department of Labor or United Way yet? Why or why not? When will you call, if you haven't already?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 22:00
|
|
|
Morby posted:So...did you call Goodwill or the Department of Labor or United Way yet? Why or why not? When will you call, if you haven't already? Still waiting on an answer to this, Benny.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 23, 2013 23:45
|
|
|
Dr. Lariat posted:This is a man that was let go from a job that consisted of simply, place items in box. But it's totally the economy that is holding him down. And he's also refusing to tap into resources that could help him.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 24, 2013 01:25
|
|
|
Mushmouth posted:So uh, given that he's stuck in a situation that a lot of people are stuck in and he's trying his best while not being perfect while there is abuse going on around him, why is it his fault that all of this is happening again? How is it useful to call him a moron and be all BOOTSTRAPS because he's not a perfect person? If you're reading that people are exclusively saying BOOTSTRAPS, I think you missed something. It's not that people are calling him a moron because he makes mistakes. They're calling him a moron because he goes against valid advice or follows the advice but halfasses it. Nobody expects him to be perfect, but goddamn. It's not like this guy can't get a job at all. He's had two and got fired by the end of the first week from both. That's a huge problem that's not the economy and not a BOOTSTRAPS issue, either.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 24, 2013 12:42
|
|
|
Mushmouth posted:It's still unnecessary and something I've seen happen to a lot of people who are in his situation. Also, perhaps dodging all the people trying to make a point about his grammar and other inane crap means he may miss a few suggestions? Or might not be disclosing everything he's doing precisely because he's busy and distracted? I guess I'll speak for myself and say that a few months back when the thread was new I suggested going to the Dept of Labor, Good Will, and United Way. Benny has barely even called them in that timeframe and offers up no excuse for it (and also ignores it when pointedly asked about it). Plus he's admitted to going about his job searching process in an inefficient way. Searching for a job should be like a fulltime job and a while back he considered 2 hours of effort good enough. He went to another job fair, didn't apply for anything. People have told him about open positions in place X, Y, and Z, and he hasn't followed up. Even this Disney thing he didn't think to see if he could carpool with a friend before someone brought it up.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 24, 2013 12:52
|
|
|
SchrodingersFish posted:Benny, for what it's worth I think you actually did good at the job fair and I'm really impressed that you seem to still have a positive attitude about this whole job search thing. People are making GBS threads on you left and right for legitimate and non-legitimate reasons in my opinion (LIke seriously, what's up with the guy who's obsessed with United Way? He seems convinced that you are doomed if you don't call them RIGHT NOW) Benny needs a job. The Dept of Labor, United Way, and Goodwill offer job placement opportunities. It's not like it would be some massive undertaking for him to call one or all of them. Sometimes they get job offers that don't go on SimplyHired or Indeed, or whatever. It's not that he's ZOMG DOOMED if he doesn't call them right the gently caress now, but why not call? If he's sending out resumes and getting stonewalled, getting interviews but still getting stonewalled, and getting jobs but still getting fired within the first week, these are places that can help him either find better jobs or give him the job skills he needs (or point him to other resources). Not calling them is incredibly dumb at this point.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 25, 2013 00:54
|
|
|
SchrodingersFish posted:Ok that makes sense then I guess. I've just never ever heard of the United Way, and only know Goodwill as a homophobic thrift store... (or am I confusing it with the Salvation Army?) so I thought it was such a weird thing to focus on with at least 5 consecutive posts demanding to know why he hadn't called. The homophobes you're thinking of are the Salvation Army. The thrift stores are a part Goodwill's business model, but it's not the only thing they do. If you have at least one Goodwill in your city, they will have career centers. Career centers are usually staffed with social workers that provide job placement assistance, resume reviews, aptitude tests to help you find jobs you qualify for (or to point out jobs that you hadn't considered). So yeah, Goodwill is a great place to check out if you're looking for jobs and you can get clothes there. United Way is the larger, international umbrella that several organizations (like Goodwill) fall under. There is no reason not to at least call and talk to them. I've also been suggesting that he go to the Dept of Labor/Unemployment office, as they also offer a lot of the same services. A lot times these organizations get advance warning of department store openings, factory openings, large businesses moving to the area, etc. that will need a lot of new hires. If your name is in the database and you qualify, you often can get in on the first wave of interviews. This thread was started in January. It would be one thing if he'd said "Hey, I checked them out and they didn't have anything", but it's pretty clear that he hasn't even bothered to call and/or physically go to one of these organizations. There's basically no excuse for it at this point. And I'm not saying that his problems would be 100% resolved if he went to Goodwill/Department of Labor/Untied Way agencies but he'd at least be talking to qualified professionals that can review his resumes, give him job leads, hook him up with training, and maybe even point him in a direction he hadn't considered before.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 25, 2013 03:04
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:drat, I should've asked that. How did you not ask about what the job entails and what the daily expectations were? 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2013 02:13
|
|
|
Dr. Lariat posted:Edit: While we're all here for this fun reunion, you've got some months of work under your belt since the thread died, how much money have you saved toward a moving out since getting the job? Curious about this as well. Is the move out plan still in motion here?
|
|
#
¿
Jun 25, 2013 02:26
|
|
|
Spicy Chili posted:How much did the interview opportunity cost at this amazing place? Benny didn't have to pay for an interview. He merely had to make a mandatory, but completely voluntary, donation.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 3, 2013 04:27
|
|
|
Grin and Tonic posted:Actually a food service job might be pretty good for Benny, so long as he works in the kitchen. If I recall correctly, he was already fired from a pizza place for doing things too slowly.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2013 14:57
|
|
|
Masonity posted:Warehouse was too slow. The food place was for whacking the owner's wife in the head with a metal tray and telling the head chef that his way of doing stuff was dangerous, and Bennys was better. Thanks! His wacky misadventures are hard to keep up with. Benny, how far along are you in your 90 day probationary period?
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2013 15:41
|
|
|
Jizznastics posted:Benny since you seem to refuse to egnolige my proposal, maybe you should think about join the services. They will get you in shape with boot Camp and you will get a pention if I am not mistaken. Dude can barely manage pushing carts around. Do you really want him handling guns? In any case, the military has waiting lists now (especially for officer's school). The market is such that the military can be extremely picky now.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2013 05:20
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:I'm not quitting one job to work the other: I'm doing both. What do you even know about landscaping and home renovations? How many hours will you work? What is the schedule? How much/when will you be paid? How are you going to work up the wherewithal to do this side job when you had no problem screwing over a coworker at your primary job?
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2013 17:24
|
|
|
Benny the Snake posted:It's all in the same city and I know my family will work around my primary job hours. I'm gonna approach them tomorrow about this whole thing. How motivated about this are you?
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2013 17:44
|
|
|
docbeard posted:Is this code for "tell them I'm hung over and can't come in"? I'd also like to point out that this thought occurred to him during his 90 day probationary period.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 19, 2013 17:50
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 17, 2024 00:38 |
|
|
Accretionist posted:Benny, I'm not sure why people are telling you to stop writing. If you dig it then keep it up. My writing is awful and I'm keeping at it. It's fun! Writing is fun and therapeutic, yes, but the writing that you are doing in public and ostensibly for profit should actually be polished. Few spelling/grammatical errors, a cohesive point or argument, well-researched, well-reasoned, and entertaining. What Benny is doing does not meet that criteria at all. It's confused, inaccurate, and poorly written. This is supposed to be his best work and the work of which he is most proud. The provided samples do not warrant that. He needs to go back to the basics and work harder on it before trying this again. More importantly, however, he needs to focus on getting and keeping a job.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2013 02:21
|
|