Mom freaks out over TV show-now wants us to throw out our stuff

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Mom freaks out over TV show-now wants us to throw out our stuff

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

Our big discussion is happening tonite. I've formulated "nuclear options" as a deterent and leverage in order for us to negoitate with our parents. I feel that they don't respect us as adults and as much as they belive that brining materials in for our private viewing or consumption would "undermine their faith", we should still have the right to ownership of said materials as adults. As far as I'm concerned, they're insecure in their faith. After discussing this incident with friends and a life coach, I've discussed my plans with Danny. Danny is to apologize for violating the rules of the house and insulting Mom. We are to negotiate that our privacy as adults is to be repsected, as well as our ownership of our items. I'm prepared to move my comics, etc. out into a storage unit or have a friend who's willing to hold them. However, most likely they'll want us to dispose of them. Despite that I/we own our items. I'm going to ask that before we do anything, we bring in a third party unafiliated with us as friends/family/community. So a conselor and/or family law.

I don't think you get it, there's really nothing for you to leverage on them. If you want their respect then talk to them about a reasonable plan about how you're going to be become more independent and move out. You keep talking about right to ownership, they have the right to decide whether you can live in their house; as long as you want to live there, their rights trumps yours.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2013 20:42

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 05:51

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

I'm very aware of that. I know the "nuclear options" are ecessive if not outright stupid. But that's why I'm checking with you guys first. If they are unreasonable, I'll forget about them. I'm willing to have my stuff moved out. Above all else, I want a third party present to help us move past our issues and ensure that we live in peace in the meantime to where I can plan to get out.

You really need to change your point of view about all of this.

First ask yourself why your parents don't respect you?
Will threatening to get them in some sort of trouble make them respect you more?

You should realize that most of the things you take for granted are PRIVILEGES, yes you may pay for them in some degree and help around the house but I doubt you would be able to afford them if you did not have free housing. No internet/computer at home is not the same as no internet/computer at all, you could still go to the library or unemployment centre.

It all comes back to how much is worth to you to live there? I have no doubt your situation sucks, but this isn't a way for either of you to be happier about the situation.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2013 20:59

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

You know, I was on my way to put in time at my internship. Then I realized that the route I usually take over to the office changes on weekends. So I'm standing there at the stop. Wondering how am I going to explain to Jon, the field manager of the campaign, why I was late. Then I started thinking if I can even put on a straight face and put in time.

And then it dawned on me. It finally broke to me.

I just saw my mom, the person who gave birth to me, assualt my brother, my own flesh and blood.

I realized that I'm traumatized.

I called Jon and told him that I'm in no shape to put in time today. I told him it was family issues and he said he understood. He'd call tomorrow and we'd discuss my hours next weeek.

Now I'm sitting here in a Starbucks. Tears rolling on my face. I realize how I'm a terrible person. How as much hate and disgust I have at my family, that I'm just as bad if not worst than them. That I've reduced my life to not bettering myself. Not even survival. But a win state. I had to hold on to my belongings. I had to prepare to call the police on my mom if neccessary. I had to prepare to go to war with my own flesh and blood. Because I had to show them that I'm a better person. Because I had to win. Because I was keeping score and I fooled myself that we were all doing the same. Because my hatred was making me stronger. Because my hate, my fustrations, my bile, and my vitriol against them were all I had left. I fooled myself into thinking that way. I fooled myself into thinking I was doing this to win. I convinced myself all that.

And now I'm breaking down. Now I'm typing on my laptop to you guys completly disgusted in myself. Now I realize that I need help.

I'm going to call my uncle and ask if I can stay at his place for the night, maybe even the weekend. I can't deal with this. I can't go back home. Not now at least.

But right now I have to calm myself down. I'm staying here for an hour to think things through. I'm not going back untill I'm sure that they're not there. So I can pack some clothes and take off.

Goons, I'm sorry if I've infuriated you. I'm sorry if I've fustrated you. I'm sorry if I've wasted your time. I'll be fine. I just need to get away for a while. I'll be back in a sec.

It sounds like you've made some choices about your situation. I'd advise you to stop with the comparisons, stop all the hate and disgust for yourself and your family. There will always be someone better or worse off than you.

You clearly aren't happy with your life at the moment, you need to take some time to think about what you want to change and how you'll change that. Learn to accept the things you can't change (possibly your family) and decide what you'll make of that and change the things you can't accept.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2013 22:43

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

What you find reasonable and what she (and your dad) finds reasonable are not necessarily the same thing.

The only clear way you'll be able to do as you please is if you do not live with your parents.

So you have to decide if living at home is worth it to live in your parent's house to achieve those goals.

I don't say this to demean you, you have to realize how much your arguments sound like a teenager, in fact they would be far more understandable coming from a teenager because most people would agree that a teenager isn't expected to fend on their own.

You have to understand that you have no rights as a full grown man living there beyond the basics like safety. You are not going to convince your parents based on how REASONABLE you perceive these PRIVILEGES to be. If they want to throw out the TV and cancel the internet that is totally within their rights. If you're going to rationalize it based on the fact that you're paying 100-300 dollars in the future you should realize understand this isn't remotely within fair market rent and not have the same expectations of a normal tenancy agreement.

Here's a example of what I think would be a far more productive line of discussion with your mom.

Hi Mom, I understand you and I have difference points of view on what I should watch and be allowed to do, I don't think we'll ever agree on that but I want you to understand I respect your views and the hard work you do. I'm not happy with my life right now so I'm going to make some changes so I'm able to live the way I want. I think we'll all be happier if we sit down and talk to each other and try to give each other a little slack.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2013 07:46

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

Don't get me wrong. Nothing is beneath a person as long as it's honest. It's just that I'm very much over-qualified for fast food/warehouse work. Besides, I figure I'd listen to, you know, the guy who's a college graduate and has employment working campaigns. It worked for him apparently.

No you're not over qualified, you may have a college degree but you frankly have a lot of growing up to do and need more experience with your interpersonal skills. Your mom had to start over after her jail time, she is frustrated because your dad is too good to take a job from your uncle.

You are not overqualified to work in warehouse while working on getting a better job as part of this campaign etc. Yeah your campaign manager has been successful in his life, how have your plans worked out for you in the meantime? If a few months down the road nothing comes up, who's fault will it be that you could have done something in the meantime?

# ¿ Feb 5, 2013 08:28

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

I didn't. I applied to the job that Devyl graciously offered me. But it was an auto magazine and question #1 from the editor was "Can you detail?" I said that I didn't know how to detail, so I was turned down

99% of people that start out in the workforce don't know jack and suck at what they're doing. The difference between the people that succeed and the people that don't are the ones that find ways to learn what they need to know and work on not sucking at their jobs.

I don't know jack about car detailing besides the definition, I could have easily said something along the lines of "It's something I've been meaning to learn more of, I'm definitely willing to do whatever it takes to research the information you need, I also think this could be a interest opportunity for you to get a few pieces from me on learning to detail cars from scratch that I could share with your readers".

Instead you decided you made enough of a effort and that you already failed, so what if you try and potentially get called out or fail at it later on. Guess what, your time is worth jack right now and you have nothing to lose besides leisure time.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2013 04:09

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny you have obtained a volunteer position that teenagers routinely get from a organization that requires the bare minimum of social skills and hygiene. This is not an achievement; it would be like somehow sneaking back into high school to redo grade 10 English and talking about how you got a B for your story before the guidance counselor asks to see you due your disturbing family killing writing themes.

You have to stop congratulating yourself for doing things that the majority of adults take for grant and actually address the suggestions that matter like signing up for Obamacare.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 06:43

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Fugue Stater posted:

He should definitely do Obamacare, but I'd say getting the library thing is probably more important on the road to getting an actual paying job, if only for the potential reference and random networking possibilities.

Keep your ears perked, Benny, and if you hear anybody talking about how so-and-so needs someone to do X or how their company is having a hard time finding Y, jump on it. Even if it's awkward, you'd be surprised at how even the most casual of acquaintances can sometimes bypass a ton of job-hunting bullshit.

The problem is that he's had actual paying jobs which were lost through to incompetence; he can get jobs but he needs to work on not being incompetent. But Benny will just cherry pick whatever posts are easy to follow. If Benny were to post that he successfully wiped his butt I'm sure he'd latch on to the one post congratulating him even if the other 99 were about that children master potty training by grade school.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2014 13:52

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

I'm reminded of the King of the Hill Episode where Peggy becomes a famous artist because her agent represented her as mentally challenged without her knowing. Someone could make a lot of money off Benny.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2014 00:56

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Have you considered that if your vision has changed badly enough that you want new glasses, you probably shouldn't be driving anyway?

You have to change your approach to life, you have a problem (I need glasses, but can't afford to get them from a Optician); what successful people do is focus on finding a solution to that problem. Off the top of my head I can think of buying glasses online at a significant discount, seeing if there's a optometry school in town that can help you out or point you in the right direction, contacting the American Foundation for the Blind, finding a job with vision benefits, etc. The last thing I would think of is to use a grand from grandma that I could never pay back before exploring some basic options.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 04:39

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

You could just google "buy glasses online" and compare the prices between a few sites to save a half month's salary instead of relying on a poster on a internet humour forum to tell you.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 05:33

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

I would expect anyone able to complete a Bachelors degree could manage from "You can buy glasses a lot more cheaper online" to figuring out all the steps necessary to get a pair of glasses without other people holding his hand. I'm not offended that Benny doesn't have this level of executive function, rather that he won't even acknowledge he doesn't have it and that it's a serious problem.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 22:11

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny to normal people you sound as ridiculous as that scene from Zoolander where he tells his father he think's he's getting black lung after working his first day at the mine.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 01:50

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Has anyone ever seen any proof that Benny's degree is real, or is it going to be a future "Hey I need to come clean" post? Sure would explain a lot.

Alkaiser fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Jun 3, 2014

# ¿ Jun 3, 2014 00:26

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

We also plan to post locally so that we can direct our customers to pick up the books over here and then show them the shelves where we sell more books so that hopefully they'll buy more while they're here. That will make shipping costs a non-issue.

Please direct yourself to this shelf of books we're selling, and ignore the entire library of other copies and books you can borrow indefinitely. Also please don't be offended that your donations are being sold for pennies instead of being enjoyed by future generations because I think this will somehow translate into some kind of work experience that a kid in high school couldn't get.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2014 13:54

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Uncle Salty posted:

I actually don't mind buying old library copies of certain books, if it's total trash like Charlaine Harris.

Now here's some serious posting. I am already embarrassed about this!

I definitely don't want to jump on the "rargh, millennials" bandwagon but I supervise a bunch of people around Benny's age, with roughly Benny's educational qualifications on paper. (They are definitely more privileged than Benny in a lot of ways.) My biggest problem with them is that they really only hear what they want to hear. Even with written instructions, with small goals and deadlines, developed together, for projects are subject to wild interpretation based on how they feel that day. They also sometimes have a hard time dealing with people aren't just like them (an older colleague who doesn't have a degree, for example). Simple skills like calling or texting me if they can't make it in are not yet habits.

They are sweet and smart kids, and they respond to "No, I expect better from you." But they require a lot of supervision, and they don't even realize it. (I'm certain I was the same way when I was their age, by the way.)

The thing is, they get better because they make mistakes, and are corrected, and then eventually form new routines. But this takes more than three weeks on the job. Part of my goals for them in these entry level positions are to help them build very basic workplace skills, because how else are you going to learn to do something like "check your voicemail every day, don't let the messages pile up". (Insert 10,000 goons telling me "What, nah, you stupid bitch, I never check my work messages if it's important they'll email me eventually.")

I see a lot of Benny in my employees: the getting wildly ahead of himself, the misinterpretation of fairly basic instructions and the inability to work collaboratively with peers who have different skillsets.

I feel like if the old Benny can just stay in one place for more than a couple of weeks, he would experience a real difference.

The problem here isn't that Benny makes mistakes; it's that he never learns from them and he ignores the majority of criticism or advice requiring him to do anything.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2014 14:18

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Why don't we start with something more realistic, I'll pay 5 bucks to see your diploma Benny.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 19:24

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Benny the Snake posted:

I contacted Magnus Gallant about selling him books. My supervisor says special orders are kosher. He handles the sales, not me since I'm just a volunteer. We've also figured out that selling 50 cent books a la carte isn't getting us anywhere. So we're going bundling. By author, genre, or series. I'm also going to start listing bestsellers. We're sticking to CL since we can post for free and not have a percent of our sales go to the site. To further incentivize customers, I'm putting "All proceeds go to the library" in the post. People feel better about buying things if it goes to a good cause, after all. I'm considering buying books on the cheap here and flipping them online, but I'd need to find a bestseller in really good condition. I'll be keeping an eye out. Oh yeah, if anybody here is interested in buying books on the cheap, PM me and we can work something out.

This will be the Benny fable where he trades a rare book for magic beans.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2014 00:35

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 05:51

Alkaiser: Mar 17, 2009

Steampunk iPhone posted:

I will pay you $20 if you post a picture of your diploma. This is more money than you will ever make selling books.

My original $5 can be added to this pile.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2014 00:20

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