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Leopold N. Loeb posted:I think it's odd that you find misogyny in my post, but can't see it in the OP's demand that his mother continue to care for him into his adulthood, and do so without complaint. Or with his viewing porn(which objectifies women). I say this as a man raised by a single mother, who started willingly paying rent to her at 17 because my father never paid a dime of child support. The OP is kind of irrelevant in his criticism of your post? Did you not imply that he should cater his hobbies around things that will impress women?
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Jan 31, 2013 20:07
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bunnybean posted:I don't understand why the OP's mother should have to compromise about anything, ever. Her house, her rules. You're an adult; if you don't like it, couch surf or go to a shelter. Otherwise, use it as motivation for why you need to grow up. There is no reason why she should have to feel whatever it is that she feels when "dirty imagery" or whatever winds up in her home. It's her home and she's paying for it, and she has no obligation to care for her adult children. OP's parents are making huge sacrifices in their own lives to take care of their children; there is absolutely no reason why those children cannot make small sacrifices to keep the peace. When one adult agrees to let another adult live in their home, there is an implicit contract that, while the owner makes the rules, the rules will be "reasonable". I'm not going to lay down an explicit definition of reasonable, but there are plenty of things that are over the line, including regulating what the OP does with his door closed while mom isn't there, given that it doesn't damage the property or affect her. The OP cannot change his living situation right now(though he should be setting goals and working on it, which it sounds like he is), and as sad as it is that our society doesn't provide it to all people, shelter with one's own space to do with as they wish is a basic human right. The mom is not obligated to keep providing him living quarters, but given that it is where he lives currently, he has the right to a modicum of privacy as long as he lives there. I'm not saying he shouldn't be appreciative/help out around the house/offer to help pay for household expenses/avoid watching porn in the living room, but he has a right to human dignity in his own room, and to not live in fear of his things being destroyed. The same would apply to a friend letting another friend crash in an extra room while they got back on their feet. It would be similarly unreasonable for them to destroy one's property.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:57
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Jizznastics posted:Why is everyone up in arms over this woman hitting her adult son? OP seems decent enough, but his brother is a fucker. If I were physically abused by someone who let me use their credit card I'd probably run it up too.
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Feb 3, 2013 04:50
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Don't pay your mom a dime of rent she doesn't ask for. Save your money and spend it on rent at a place that isn't awful. He is absolutely wrong and you have the absolute right not to get hit by others in the place you live. Your uncle sounds like an interesting dude you should have him post his opinion on these here forums. Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Feb 3, 2013 |
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Feb 3, 2013 05:14
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VelveetaAvenger posted:Your entire family is full of idiots. Maybe part of your There I made it better. Why not you OP?
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Feb 3, 2013 09:20
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Jizznastics posted:I'd love to see the judge who would sit through something as dumb as "I mooch of my parents, but I'm an rear end in a top hat regardlees, so my mother hit me". Maybe you should reword this in other domestic abuse threads. "I mooch off my husband, but I'm a bitch regardless, so my husband hit me." See how it sounds there? Go gently caress yourself.
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Feb 3, 2013 18:14
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BrainParasite posted:I'd rather work in a warehouse than customer service. They look identical on a resume. The pay is almost identical. Neither is very flexible in scheduling around your internship. Neither are mentally challenging. You have to deal with angry and wrote people all day in CS. In a warehouse, you just have to move everything from point a to point b. The difference here is that customer service can be arbitrarily mentally demanding, depending on what you are doing CS for. Complicated products that businesses sell other businesses need support too. Warehouse work is never going to scale like that. I would also generally expect that CS has more prospects for a potential career, whereas working in a warehouse has seems more like a "job". I'm sure one could like, manage the warehouse, but I'm not sure where you really go from there.
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Feb 5, 2013 16:14
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BrainParasite posted:It's pretty obvious I was talking about an entry level job not doing CS for a complicated technical product
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Feb 5, 2013 19:35
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It's not Danny's fault you gave your mom money. You have a choice. Where was your brother even going to get the money in the first place?
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Mar 5, 2013 06:18
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Edit: Sleep next to Strunk and White. Strunk and White were hacks who didn't follow their own (self-invented) rules in their own book. Ignore those dudes OP. OP your full time job is looking for work but I don't think that means you should go work at McDonalds.
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Mar 8, 2013 16:33
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Wolfy posted:OP does not have a car and his public transportation options are garbage. I'd also imagine his lack of funds and transportation would make difficult to find a place to live where he will theoretically find a job. It depends on the type of job but often offices are willing to fly you out to interview you/pay for your relocation. He doesn't necessarily have to stick to where he can get to today.
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Mar 23, 2013 03:18
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Dr_Amazing posted:Yeah the OP is having trouble getting a fast food job so clearly the answer is to get someone to fly him out for an interview and complementary housing. Believe it or not there are 80 gazillion more jobs he can try to apply to outside of a 15 minute circle, he graduated from college and there's lots of things he is qualified for.
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Mar 23, 2013 03:26
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CravingSolace posted:Sigma-X, he does not have a car, so he can't drive out, and the bus transportation is unreliable. He's also fairly broke, which is why he's at his mom's house for the moment, and also why he is applying pretty much everywhere, even fast-food joints. Well I presume the point would be if he could get a job that is far away from mom's but pays better/has a career attached to it, he could actually use the money he gets from it to move out/get a cheap car. Getting a fast food job means he has some money now but he still is tasked with finding a "real" job. It doesn't solve the issue it delays it. The income coming in can help but the feeling of complacency that has something will hurt.
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Mar 23, 2013 16:58
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Araenna posted:If he can't get there, how is he going to get money from it to move out, though? Again, any company that really wants to hire him is probably willing to give him enough money to relocate. I'm not talking about further away fast food jobs, obviously they have to be a step above that before they'll consider it. However asking a new employer for enough money to relocate closer (just security deposit lets say) is not unreasonable. It is not very much compared to a person's wage and I'm sure lots of places are willing to do it.
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Mar 23, 2013 21:56
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BrainParasite posted:I don't know what country you live in or what industry you work in, but this is not the norm for most entry level positions. It doesn't even have to be entry level, as long as he can talk up the work he did in school/his internship(s) as relevant experience. I admittedly am in an industry where this is more common than most, but I have a hard time believing it is nonexistent for other fields. OP, do you have friends from school who have gotten jobs, preferably in fields you think you can speak to your ability in? I wouldn't hesitate to ask them as well, getting a foot in the door is a lot easier with an internal referral. EDIT: Oh yeah, another thing, even if you aren't the least bit interested in a job(like selling insurance), accept interviews for doing it anyway. Interviewing is Hard and not intuitive and thus is something you will want practice at so you don't flub the ones you do want. They are valuable experiences in and of themselves. Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Mar 24, 2013 |
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Mar 24, 2013 02:30
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A 3 hour commute is excellent motivation to moving out also. Nothing like up to 2.5 more hours a day to yourself.
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Mar 24, 2013 09:39
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ClemenSalad posted:Haha a liberal arts joke really? This is why, above all else, he needs to leverage the work experience he does have. I'm not sure if it is a good idea for him to post his resume but I'd definitely be interested if he did.
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Mar 24, 2013 22:54
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waste of internet posted:You're completely useless. Just see a therapist and get on disability. I'm not even kidding, you know you're 100% unemployable when you can't even use Google. There are people out there who don't know how to detail but would sure as poo poo figure it out if a job was dependent on that knowledge. You're not one of them. To be fair I'd rather a candidate admit they don't know something than Google it during a phone interview. People can learn new things on a job. I've actually rejected a candidate after catching him reading to me off of Wikipedia.
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Apr 1, 2013 21:33
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waste of internet posted:Really though, I don't think I've ever met anyone who doesn't know what "auto detailing" equates to. EDIT: Though my answer would probably be something along the lines of "no, but if that's what you're looking for it'll be a yes by this time tomorrow". Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Apr 1, 2013 |
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Apr 1, 2013 21:43
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Don't get too attached to a script when interviewing either. I don't necessarily think you are, but what I've found is it is best to try to take on the demeanor of the person interviewing. People like people who are like themselves, subconsciously or not. When it's time to ask my own questions, I like asking the person about their own role at the company, give them a chance to talk about themselves. People like that. I would reword your code of conduct answer so it sounds less like "What are you going to make me do?" and more like "Tell me about the high standards employees are held to".
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Apr 3, 2013 20:40
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Dr_Amazing posted:Is "perfectionist" really that bad? I know it's the cliche answer. I always thought of it as the "we both know this is a bullshit question that everyone lies about, so let's just move on" response. It shows that you're savvy enough to lie about it but understand that you understand how to go with the flow and put up with workplace bullshit. There are better answers more tailored to the company/industry in question. You can emphasize that you have so much of <Trait A> that company really likes that it keeps you from doing <Thing B> sometimes. I'm a programmer and I've said that I tend to get really focused on coding/fixing bugs that I don't always remember to stop and report what I'm doing to my boss. I can acknowledge it as the wrong thing to do while portraying my dedication to solving problems at the same time. It is also absolutely true and I don't feel like it has ever hurt me in an interview.
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Apr 4, 2013 00:45
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Dude mentions his English degree and suddenly goons go hog wild correcting grammar mistakes on every page. Who cares, ignore them, it isn't funny to point out any more.
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Apr 23, 2013 18:49
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Benny the Snake posted:Obviously. Definitely still do the interview though! I'd consider taking it and showing up if you can get hours that don't conflict with target, may as well try things.
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Apr 30, 2013 20:41
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Overall it seems like there's some improvement, congrats on holding the job thus far. Good things: - Standing up to mom on your graduation party. Scheduling a party for someone with no regards for their work schedule is pretty inconsiderate and self-centered. Rescheduling was the right thing to do. Bad: - Please please please leave your comfort zone! You seem very attached to what is familiar and simple, and while this is common across all people to some degree, you seem to take it to the limit. Please just start saying yes to requests/invitations by default. Do things that you are invited to that you don't think you'll like, just to force yourself into a mindset where you do things by default. Take late shifts for extra money, even if it means something unfamiliar like working at night. (Did you have plans that evening?) This has been demonstrated throughout the thread and is an area you should try and improve. - Don't screw your coworkers like that. You know that of course, but seriously don't do it. There's no point in burning bridges for no reason, and it's something you will want from coworkers in the future. This doesn't even count the part where you get extra money for it.
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Jun 25, 2013 01:14
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xov posted:You'd be surprised. Some companies actually anticipate this and create additional websites or pay people to write up articles on how they're ~totally not scams~ so if you run into any poo poo like that, be wary as well. Yeah but if there is a website that describes how totally not a scam something is, it's probably a scam. Normal companies don't need the disclaimer.
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Jun 28, 2013 22:57
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ClemenSalad posted:The point of getting any degree is to show your qualifications to employers (unless you plan on academia). You are in for a much rougher time if you spent 75 grand on a degree and you have dress it up and hustle. There's a lot of fields where this is the only way in. It's also pretty much universally true if one wants to be promoted instead of just remaining at entry level. It's lot like a business degree will get you hired as a ceo right away, but that doesn't mean the degree is a wash.
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Jul 12, 2013 14:50
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Darth123123 posted:So Benny your plan is to follow your Dad around who is cutting down a few trees, presuming to pick up sticks/etc. Seriously, how much do you expect get compensated by your relatives for that? Are your 'terms' fixed price or an hourly rate? There are (much) longer threads in BFC that are similar. Tuyop's thread has been going for 2+ years(He's working on paying down what was 60k in debt). This is definitely a quite long thread though, certainly top 1% for e/n type threads.
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Jul 16, 2013 15:58
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Accretionist posted:Bit of an aside, but the writing in your posts is subtly better. Do you have any interest in weekly writing exercises? There's a thread in Creative Conventions called Thunderdome which is focused on unusual prompts, low word caps (like 1K-1.6K) and actually useful feedback (No hugbox poo poo). Example: Last round was for <1K words of combination cyberpunk-blaxploitation. Still waiting on judge feedback, though. This sounds really cool and you should do this.
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Aug 6, 2013 00:52
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Benny the Snake posted:Done and done; especially for the "on the spot" and "my name is" bits. The rest of it will take more time to get around since it's a habit but I'll kick it sooner than later. Can you just attach it as a pdf? You could try pasting as plain text into notepad first.
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Aug 14, 2013 22:05
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cname posted:Disregarding both your grammar, spelling and the rest of the thread. This, right here, alone makes you unqualified to be an administrative assistant. Actually I kind of disagree here. No one likes repeatedly doing boring tasks that a computer could do for you. If I ran into this and couldn't find an easy solution I'd probably figure out how to script it instead of just grinding it out each time. It takes more upfront investment which will pay off every future time you do similar tasks. This is also why I don't use word.
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Aug 14, 2013 22:58
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He's clearly not panicking and trying to move out right now. I don't know if it is in this case, but if an unpaid internship would lead him to a better job, then I'm okay with it.
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Aug 16, 2013 18:12
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Arsenic Lupin posted:If you don't have a smartphone, you can put an alarm into a browser tab or page. Dumbphones have alarms too, I used them for years.
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Aug 16, 2013 22:41
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ClemenSalad posted:Honestly who cares at this point? He knows his writing isn't good and you just look like dumb word police. This. I don't understand why there are still grammarposts here, gently caress off.
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Aug 18, 2013 07:32
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Don't listen to people saying not to seek this job.
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Aug 29, 2013 01:52
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He shouldn't get invested in the job but he may as well take a few days worth of their money. I don't really think it would hurt anything. Do keep looking though.
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Sep 5, 2013 14:49
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That was captain walker. Hope that guy's okay...
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Sep 13, 2013 15:07
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I've posted this in other threads but I guess I never did it here. I'm guessing Benny's head is full of these: http://lesswrong.com/lw/21b/ It's not him consciously deciding not to do anything to improve, his brain has likely conditioned him to not even think about improving because the little progress he's made is painful. Everyone does this to a degree and getting out of it pretty hard, as it takes conscious vigilance to notice yourself flinching when you can.
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Oct 30, 2013 20:20
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BFC poo poo on Tuyop for like 2 years and now he's paid down his 60k in debt and seems to have genuinely changed for the better. Goon therapy is the best therapy.
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Jan 8, 2014 16:12
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I'm just gonna imagine there's an e/n irc where people log in to get poo poo on over their terrible lives all day every day.
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Feb 2, 2014 03:58
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Benny is like a videogame character who is purposefully written as bumbling and incompetent. He's like a modern Leisure Suit Larry.
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Feb 4, 2014 00:55
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