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Continuing on from the last thread. Kickstarter and Indigogo are crowdsourced funding platforms where you can pitch your fine business ideas and in the case of Indigogo, noble causes. This thread is for the terrible ones. The scams, the cons, the ridiculous and those too shameful to present to your bank manager without explaining what tentacle monsters are. So without further ado, let's pick up where we left off with this remarkable answer to mass shootings: Cockmaster posted:These people think they can put a stop to mass shootings by designing a rifle that won't fire when it's in a public place. Apparently, they also think they can get people to give them money when they haven't addressed any of the obvious complications with relying on a technological solution of that nature.
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Mar 5, 2013 01:29
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http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fourzerotwo/the-adventures-of-dash-a-2d-platform-and-puzzle-ad How do you make a kickstarter, with video of "gameplay," of a 2D platformer with no enemies, no puzzles, no nothing? Goddamn this is the laziest professional-made pitch ever. And asking $400,000!
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Mar 5, 2013 01:38
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Ville Valo posted:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fourzerotwo/the-adventures-of-dash-a-2d-platform-and-puzzle-ad Name it "the adventures of *Rainbow Dash" and double the funding required
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Mar 5, 2013 01:41
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Ville Valo posted:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fourzerotwo/the-adventures-of-dash-a-2d-platform-and-puzzle-ad What problem do you have with it, exactly? I'm not going to fund it and maybe the goal is a bit lofty, but there's a solid team of developers behind it and the limited gameplay videos they had of it looked like they had plenty of potential. I'd at least give the finished product a shot.
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Mar 5, 2013 01:49
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I ain't gonna lie kinda wish I was OP since I'm obsessed with crowdfunding. Whatever. gently caress IT IM OVER IT  Kickstarter Hall of ShameYour World  Ellwood "Bunky" Bartlett may have won $42 million from the lottery but that's not going to stop him from getting other people to pay for his dream MMO! Your World promises the MMO experience that gamers want: namely, hooker bots. So Goons, what other laughable projects have you seen on Kickstarter? http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2012-04-03/news/bs-ae-bunky-lottery-20120402_1_lottery-winner-nature-based-religion-reality-show Atheist Shoes http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/120873716/your-world  When even your footprints have to tell people to deal with it  Ron Paul Revolution  Titan of industry wants to make a game about Ron Paul. Uses the cheapest means of creating a cookie cutter game using MelonJS And this is what over $10,000 gets you, the free market works!  The people in Washington need to be held accountable! (but not people who run Kickstarters or anything)  And a word on accountability: Katalyka http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1820893788/katalyka Honestly I feel a little bad ridiculing someone who clearly has mental issues but if this isn't a Kickstarter cautionary tale I don't know what is.  If you want to read the whole insane  here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1820893788/katalyka/posts/239764 I am a unique snowflake and everything I touch is art because I am a http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1394857195/a-giant-ball-pit-in-an-abandoned-house-naturally Truly putting the shame in Hall of Shame Mythic http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/273246798/mythic-the-story-of-gods-and-men Essentially a Frankenstein of plagiarism taken from other Kickstarters and existing games http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/117012-Mythic-Kickstarter-is-a-Scam The first Kickstarter feature film to star an A-lister admired by teenaged girls everywhere (also Lindsay Lohan) The Canyons  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1094772583/the-canyons A NY Times reporter is embedded (in bed with teehee) the production and writes a pretty crazy account of the ordeal http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 article posted:The next night, the “Canyons” crew was cut to a minimum. It was time to film the four-way. The scene comes at a crucial moment in the movie, when the usually passive Tara turns the tables on Christian and forces him out of his sexual comfort zone. Filmed incorrectly, the scene might win a Razzie. Get it right, and the rest of the film would click into place. And after all that they didn't even get into Sundance. Speaking of bad movies: Finding Sandler http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/findingsandler/finding-sandler  Otherwise nice looking Jewish boy is being super intense about that one time he was a PA on an Adam Sandler movie and missed an opportunity to get a drink with him. He's been beating himself up over it ever since and unfortunately his friends/family keep enabling his stalkery. Hanfree Having the dubious distinction of being the first Kickstarter to have a class action suit against it http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/831303939/hanfree-ipad-accessory-use-the-ipad-hands-free?ref=live http://venturebeat.com/2013/01/22/why-this-jilted-kickstarter-backer-decided-to-sue-why-he-was-right/ Speaking of class action Zioneyez http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/zioneyez/eyeztm-by-zioneyez-hd-video-recording-glasses-for/comments http://www.forbes.com/sites/markgibbs/2012/08/20/the-truth-about-kickstarter-and-zioneyez/2/ Vaporware for augmented glasses. Not only have they not delivered, but they are in danger of being lapped by Google Glass at this point. Backers were so pissed about the perception that the owners took the money and ran (pictures of them vacationing in Thailand didn't help) that they created a forum just to air out grievances Code Hero  KS for a game that teaches you coding. Awesome right? Except the KS was never for the game (which had never actually been started). The KS was to fund him so he could go ask for funding. http://www.joystiq.com/2012/12/13/code-hero-the-dangers-of-a-kickstarter-success-story/ http://www.joystiq.com/2013/01/08/code-heros-buggy-kickstarter-has-backers-preparing-to-draw-lega/ Check the comments, it's another example of backer support going south very fast And for those who think there is no redeeming value to KS: Kickstarter Benchmarks Regardless of how you felt about the quality of the results, these were major turning points for Kickstarter Legendary adventure games creator Tim Schafer and his company Double Fine start the KS craze http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doublefine/double-fine-adventure Currently 4th highest funded in Games. Video Game High School SA Forums superstar Freddie Wong managed to fund his web series for $273,000+ Season 2 recently succeeded funding and remains the highest funded in Film & Video Incidentally the 2nd most in that category is The Goon Faster Than Light I believe these guys are goons. FTL became one of the biggest and first gaming success stories and is currently available on Steam. http://penny-arcade.com/report/editorial-article/two-men-200000-and-a-successful-kickstarter-how-ftl-did-everything-right Special Wait And SeeOuya http://www.kickstarter.com/profile/ouya Open source console that works with Android. Or something. I think jury's still out and if it will truly fail like a lot of people are thinking it will. Ad wizards: Hey you know what we'll do? We'll make our own Kickstarter type page!OtonX http://www.otonx.com/ Hey let's take a page from the Phantom console! Also Kickstarter that's cool with the kids these days Black Isle's Truly shameful beg for donations This is famous game developer Black Isle ONLY IN NAME. They had the nerve to make their own KS style homepage begging for donations, and not even for the production of the game itself. So they can go shop it around, much like Code Hero. It's a KS for a KS. Using the Black Isle name at that is truly disgraceful and it seems like they are suckering people in too (they have a whole leaderboard for donors). http://blackisle.com/ The one silver lining is we get this lovely, dated pitch video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV1GH_ZTs90 Actually the real silver lining is the spiritual successor to BI, Obsidian is the second most funded in the Games category http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/obsidian/project-eternity?ref=category If anyone has more classic horrible KS's I can add to this post And that OP, is how you make an OP (drops the mic) Alan Smithee has a new favorite as of 08:24 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 01:52
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Leovinus posted:What problem do you have with it, exactly? I'm not going to fund it and maybe the goal is a bit lofty, but there's a solid team of developers behind it and the limited gameplay videos they had of it looked like they had plenty of potential. I'd at least give the finished product a shot. A solid team of developers who need to raise money to purchase Unity. Not saying it's cheap (it's $1500) but if you're going to develop a game shouldn't you at least already have the tools you need?
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Mar 5, 2013 02:02
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Leovinus posted:What problem do you have with it, exactly? I'm not going to fund it and maybe the goal is a bit lofty, but there's a solid team of developers behind it and the limited gameplay videos they had of it looked like they had plenty of potential. I'd at least give the finished product a shot. How does it show potential? It has characters that run from left to right, and sometimes from right to left, and also jump. You don't need developers with credits to their name to make that, you need a Saturday afternoon and a copy of Game Maker. Why would you launch something with so little content, and show off just how little you have?
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Mar 5, 2013 02:05
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Crovie posted:A solid team of developers who need to raise money to purchase Unity. $1500 is honestly dirt cheap. If a 'solid team of developers' can't all pitch for that amount I mean really. Just run away. Edit: As an example I work with Oracle enterprise software for my job. Their horrid scanning program ( and it really is horrible ) costs $5000 for a single processor license. And that thing is world's less complicated than something like Unity.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:20
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Alan Smithee posted:
Something I've always wondered about this; is there any accountability? If the person getting the money cuts and runs with it all is there anything anyone can do? I would imagine Kickstarter has something in their T.O.S that says "Screw you, we're not held liable" to protect themselves.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:42
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Volume posted:Something I've always wondered about this; is there any accountability? If the person getting the money cuts and runs with it all is there anything anyone can do? I would imagine Kickstarter has something in their T.O.S that says "Screw you, we're not held liable" to protect themselves. Kickstarter washes its hands, essentially you have to go to the backers only comments section and rally people into a class action suit
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Mar 5, 2013 02:44
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The great thing about Unity as it's set up is that you can use the free version to at least built a working prototype then, if you and your team have decided to go all in, purchase the full version and simply drag-and-drop the files in. If you're serious and there's five of you, that's $300 a person. That's a few bake sales, some overtime, and selling some poo poo on eBay money. Edit: holy poo poo, I read those guys' credits, that's like Brad Pitt asking for money to buy a RED digital camera so he and Angelina can make a movie. Of course, EA really didn't pay them very well. Young Freud has a new favorite as of 03:16 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 02:45
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Man, thats really sad that the creator has basically suffered a mental breakdown.
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Mar 5, 2013 02:52
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Alan Smithee posted:Video Game High School Holy poo poo he got over $800,000.  I must be some kind of lunkhead for being a KS junkie and missing that project, I definitely would have thrown in a few bucks if I'd known about it.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:13
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I watched the original VGHS, it was basically a Cartoon Network Original Movie only with enough blood and swears to ensure it could never actually be shown on TV. I still have no idea who the target audience is or how they're supposed to monetize it outside of being Freddy Wong's demo reel.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:17
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I guess someone should also mention Kicktraq on the first page. It's a site that creates handy graphs on the progress of Kickstarter projects so you can see how many pledges they're getting, whether they're gaining steam or dropping off, etc.. If you're interested in the mechanics of crowdfunding it's a fascinating site. Here's their mini chart for the 3Doodler, a plastic extrusion pen that allows you to draw in 3D:  As you can see they've hit a bit of a plateau but they've been so incredibly successful so far I'm sure they don't care. If anything, they're probably panicking like crazy because they've now got a metric poo poo-ton of orders to fill. Kicktraq's other useful feature is that it's a KS news aggregate site and they post links to a whole bunch of interesting Kickstarter articles from around the internet.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:27
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I watched the original VGHS, it was basically a Cartoon Network Original Movie only with enough blood and swears to ensure it could never actually be shown on TV. Well overhead was basically taken care of by KS and whoever sponsored them. It's now on Netflix and Freddie's channel/homepage and dvdray so basically same way he makes money on his other videos Alan Smithee has a new favorite as of 03:31 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 03:28
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Ville Valo posted:How does it show potential? It has characters that run from left to right, and sometimes from right to left, and also jump. You don't need developers with credits to their name to make that, you need a Saturday afternoon and a copy of Game Maker. Why would you launch something with so little content, and show off just how little you have? Double Fine Adventure didn't even have a screenshot to show off when it launched the Kickstarter. This game's not finished, and we're practically just watching a proof of concept. But what they've got is pretty, the art style is... well, OK, one of the levels looks like poo poo right now, but the black-and-white stuff looked pretty good already, and the concept and central conceit are interesting. I mean, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't be interested, but it's hardly a notably awful Kickstarter. They've got a plan for an interesting game, and are openly demonstrating what they have so far and it's not amateurish. I don't know why you're trying to analyse the gameplay from what they've shown, it's the concept and art style they're showing off.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:32
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Just came across this one: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2053509224/new-unique-bottle-for-maw-n-paw-bbq-sauce-go-natio At first I thought it was stupid. After watching the video it's just goddamn depressing. These people are trying to raise money to create a single product: a plastic bottle shaped like a pig's head. Actually, that's their own description, but it really gives the whole thing too much credit. You might get the idea that this bottle will look like a realistic, detailed pig's head. Strange and grotesque, sure, but probably an interesting knick knack for someone out there. No. Instead, this is what they have planned:  BBQ sauce not included. Yep, that red thing on the right is this family's ingenious new product. And let's be clear here, just in case. It really is just a plastic bottle. It doesn't have any special features, moving parts, or really anything that makes it any different from any other plastic bottle other than, of course, the lazily rendered cartoon pig face. Hell, I'm pretty sure there are already bottles in existence somewhere out there that have reasonably similar pig faces on them. And they probably didn't need kickstarters. Back to the video, I don't know if I've really seen anything as awkward and pathetic as this 2 minute clip. The little girl is clearly uncomfortable with having this string of inane questions yelled at her over and over, and in the end they couldn't even get her to endorse the product. They literally cut the audio and switched it out with a recording of her saying she likes it. When even a 5 year old girl who is probably (read: hopefully) related to you seems entirely unimpressed by your bullshit, you know you've got a problem. Oh, and the funding goal for all this? $42,000 So far they only have $25, but hey, they just started.
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Mar 5, 2013 03:33
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Rapdawg posted:Man, thats really sad that the creator has basically suffered a mental breakdown. Now there's a lot of people out of pocket due to Katalyka but they made a lousy investment. If you see a business venture attached to a topless photo of a gawky looking sperglord and think "this person is bound to be trustworthy and have good business acumen" then you honestly are better off without the money. Its pretty easy to guess the correlation betwen a person's proximity to fantasy worlds of their own design and the chances of them having their poo poo together but here's a chart and her location on that chart. 
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Mar 5, 2013 03:38
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Leovinus posted:Double Fine Adventure didn't even have a screenshot to show off when it launched the Kickstarter. This game's not finished, and we're practically just watching a proof of concept. But what they've got is pretty, the art style is... well, OK, one of the levels looks like poo poo right now, but the black-and-white stuff looked pretty good already, and the concept and central conceit are interesting. Well see that's the thing, Double Fine Adventure didn't show off a kinda bad proto game. I think there's a certain level of quality of preview for a game where you just shouldn't show it - if you're under that level then you're better off not including it at first, and if you're over it then you should include it to show your series.
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Mar 5, 2013 04:03
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No list of bad Kickstarters is complete without Lore. It's just a giant cesspool of amazing.
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Mar 5, 2013 04:28
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Toffile posted:No list of bad Kickstarters is complete without Lore. I might have pledged if one of the rewards was a plush version of that atrocious gremlin mascot. Also that trailer is beyond anything.
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Mar 5, 2013 04:56
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Toffile posted:No list of bad Kickstarters is complete without Lore. After the Lore project inevitably died an ignoble death the creator RealPlayersGrind announced he was going to work on a smaller game until he was ready to relaunch Lore. He started posting 30 second video updates of his new game last week. Enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4taJ_61wv0c
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Mar 5, 2013 05:04
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If we're talking terrible Kickstarter pledge videos, I have yet to see one that tops Androx the Demon of Fire.
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Mar 5, 2013 05:07
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Toffile posted:No list of bad Kickstarters is complete without Lore. Man, this is loving astounding. I think my favourite part is that if you pledge nine hundred dollars, you still don't get a copy of the game. quote:This the model i been working on for a few hours polygon tool and and time i was told polygon tool was messy but i dont listen lol but i got to put it back together after i work on it some more quote:The Diablo 2 factor is when you die trying your best to make it back to your body because it holds all your items you had on you. quote:You get a Random high vaule item and 10 dollar discount on the Digital and Retail DRM Free both are paid in full with this tier also a few legacy such as Zeus lighting Medusa gaze and so on these are in-game items.
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Mar 5, 2013 05:14
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Leovinus posted:Man, this is loving astounding. I think my favourite part is that if you pledge nine hundred dollars, you still don't get a copy of the game. Holy poo poo, this can't be real. Look at this post he made replying to someone giving him good friendly advice on why his kickstarter sucks. Might need to read it a couple times to understand it. RealPlayersGrind's reply posted:lol yes i can say my grammar isn't the best i openly said that many times and whats my true colors ? and im not going to say i did something wrong when i didn't just because it make you feel better i never saw a law saying i couldn't use free stuff . If people cant see i'm a person just like them just because i'm pretending i'm me all the time i don't get on here and act any different then i would offline you 1000 miles away from me but you feel like you have the right to judge what i do on a daily bases. If you feel like you cant trust me then don't thats how i feel i'm not trying to win over the world i can't worry what a few people think . Yes i said ill have a demo and i do but people need to do there research stop asking why this and that isn't like that if alot of you stop worrying about every little thing i do and look something up yourself a game is not put together into the last 4 too 3 months. Putting it all together texturing only make it harder to make the full game clam to like games but don't have any understanding of what goes into . I had a plan a good plan but most couldn't understand it and i got tried of trying to make most of you understand . As for the reward tiers i said it like 7 times once people back a tier it can't be changed i didn't know that into it was to late . Everyone is not going to be happy with everything a say are do and i'm ok with that its life If this is real, it's kind of sad, since he probably has some sort of disorder. edit: More on his terrible grammar. RealPlayersGrind posted:I have a typing problem lol if it was that easy i would have already done it and why are you complaining you seem to understand what i was saying. People like yo your grammar sucks i'm like i know i'm working on it like i said i don't use the talk its a learning tool for me. Lol i don't get why people are complaining alot of developers and doctors have bad grammar . Don't worry, he's working on it. VVV That sucks  .
Shadowlz has a new favorite as of 05:59 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 05:52
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Shadowlz posted:If this is real, it's kind of sad, since he probably as some sort of disorder. From reading his various posts it seems that he was a really bright student at one time but he suffered an acquired brain injury and there's the result.
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Mar 5, 2013 05:55
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Leovinus posted:Man, this is loving astounding. I think my favourite part is that if you pledge nine hundred dollars, you still don't get a copy of the game. My favorite part is that he decided to spend Christmas posting his IQ test results to his KS update page: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1376466869/lore-0/posts?page=3
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Mar 5, 2013 06:18
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InShaneee posted:If we're talking terrible Kickstarter pledge videos, I have yet to see one that tops Androx the Demon of Fire. God, that was almost too awkward to handle.
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Mar 5, 2013 07:16
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Toffile posted:No list of bad Kickstarters is complete without Lore. How could you post this and miss the lovingly rendered "final" version?  Can you spot the cameo?
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Mar 5, 2013 08:03
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DDDJohnny posted:How could you post this and miss the lovingly rendered "final" version? Another game with goon input. Don't forget HATE TROLL TIM.
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Mar 5, 2013 08:07
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ce gars posted:God, that was almost too awkward to handle. The creator profile picture seems almost purposefully designed to elicit an immense feeling of backpfeifengesicht.
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Mar 5, 2013 10:14
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:After the Lore project inevitably died an ignoble death the creator RealPlayersGrind announced he was going to work on a smaller game until he was ready to relaunch Lore. He started posting 30 second video updates of his new game last week. Enjoy! Those gorillas are familiar. Is... Is he using stolen UO3D art assets?
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Mar 5, 2013 10:21
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Acrylic Squirrel posted:Those gorillas are familiar. Is... Is he using stolen UO3D art assets? Considering he was found to have stolen the rest of the assets used in Lore, I'd say that's a safe bet.
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Mar 5, 2013 10:36
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InShaneee posted:If we're talking terrible Kickstarter pledge videos, I have yet to see one that tops Androx the Demon of Fire. One thing I noticed no one mentioned on the original thread is the new UPDATED VERSION of Androx. 
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Mar 5, 2013 10:59
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CAustin posted:Just came across this one: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2053509224/new-unique-bottle-for-maw-n-paw-bbq-sauce-go-natio Finally. A sauce bottle that is shaped so I can't squeeze sauce out of it. I was tired of regularly getting 95% of my product out of its container.
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Mar 5, 2013 11:19
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The Human Crouton posted:Finally. A sauce bottle that is shaped so I can't squeeze sauce out of it. I was tired of regularly getting 95% of my product out of its container. Though after that moldy  sauce kickstarter, I've pretty much decided to avoid the prepared food section. If I buy food over the internet, it's going to be from places that are established enough that they're not shipping contaminated product. And if I buy from someone who's running a business out of their home kitchen, it's going to be in person at a farmer's market or some such. Though it makes things much easier when a ton of the food kickstarters are Stupid Sauces that you could make yourself on a stovetop with minimal effort.
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Mar 5, 2013 13:01
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Ville Valo posted:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fourzerotwo/the-adventures-of-dash-a-2d-platform-and-puzzle-ad That doesn't seem that bad. Leagues better than the kickstarters for just an idea and some shoddy concept sketches. I won't back it, but I also hesitate to mock people who do back it.
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Mar 5, 2013 17:43
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I just wanted to mention that I got my Pebble watch (I was an early backer at $125), and immediately sold it for $350 on Ebay. I'm pleasantly surprised, but I think that is a non-typical end to a Kickstarter experience.
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Mar 5, 2013 18:29
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Jerk McJerkface posted:I just wanted to mention that I got my Pebble watch (I was an early backer at $125), and immediately sold it for $350 on Ebay. I'm pleasantly surprised, but I think that is a non-typical end to a Kickstarter experience. How was the watch anyway?
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Mar 5, 2013 19:14
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