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Evil Badman
Aug 19, 2006

Skills include:
EIGHT-FOOT VERTICAL LEAP

I wish someone would take the mantle of updating this with RTR and Theros Block keywords.

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Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011
Can you sac tokens created with the second ability to use the sixth ability?

nrook
Jun 25, 2009

Just let yourself become a worthless person!
I'm personally enjoying:

quote:

target land is a creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost

AlternateNu
May 5, 2005

ドーナツダメ!

nrook posted:

I'm personally enjoying:

The generator tends to like that phrase for some reason. I don't know why part of the script just doesn't limit that phrase to non-land permanents, but it is certainly hilarious. Like that card that was a 2 mana blue card whose only effect was to turn all lands into creatures with P/T = CMC.

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011

AlternateNu posted:

The generator tends to like that phrase for some reason. I don't know why part of the script just doesn't limit that phrase to non-land permanents, but it is certainly hilarious. Like that card that was a 2 mana blue card whose only effect was to turn all lands into creatures with P/T = CMC.

It makes some sense, if you have a way of wiping or otherwise nulling their creatures, wiping lands off the board sounds like a viable strategy.

Namagem
Feb 14, 2011

The Magic Of Friendship

quote:

Enchantment - Aura (black)
Enchant creature
3UR, Tap an untapped creature you control: sacrifice any number of Beasts. you lose that much life
At the beginning of your end step, target creature with evoke gets -3/-3 until end of turn
Enchanted creature can't be blocked except by creatures

Converted mana cost: 7

Can't be blocked except by creatures.
That's... special.

quote:

Enchantment (black)
3B, Sacrifice ~this~: you may return a creature card from your graveyard to hand
As long as you control a Plains, spells and activated abilities that aren't mana abilities cost you up to 2 less to cast

Converted mana cost: 2

Nope, not busted at all. No sirree.

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

Rorac posted:

It makes some sense, if you have a way of wiping or otherwise nulling their creatures, wiping lands off the board sounds like a viable strategy.

It's extremely viable. That's the problem. A 2 mana card that says "destroy all lands" would be super busted.

Mezzanon
Sep 16, 2003

Pillbug
I arm-chair designed a new Tibalt today, to try and make a not terrible Tibalt. Let me know how lovely/busted it is, and how loving terrible I am!

Tibalt, Pain Lord
RRB
Planeswalker
Starting loyalty 3

+1 each player sacrifices a land
-2 target player discards two cards
-6 target player discards their hand. Tibalt, Pain Lord deals two damage to that player for each card discarded this way.



Seems like a fun card for rakdos aggro decks. Two mana seemed too good. And he's obviously an insane anti control card. Ol Tibbles splashes black and we finally get a b/r walker.

Thoughts?

AlternateNu
May 5, 2005

ドーナツダメ!

Mezzanon posted:

I arm-chair designed a new Tibalt today, to try and make a not terrible Tibalt. Let me know how lovely/busted it is, and how loving terrible I am!

Tibalt, Pain Lord
RRB
Planeswalker
Starting loyalty 3

+1 each player sacrifices a land
-2 target player discards two cards
-6 target player discards their hand. Tibalt, Pain Lord deals two damage to that player for each card discarded this way.



Seems like a fun card for rakdos aggro decks. Two mana seemed too good. And he's obviously an insane anti control card. Ol Tibbles splashes black and we finally get a b/r walker.

Thoughts?

Being able to keep the game at 3 lands is busted, dude. No deck would be able to kill it unless it was also a rush/burn deck. Or if it wants to tap out against an obvious weenie deck just to kill it and basically lose 2 turns.

Xom
Sep 2, 2008

文化英雄
Fan of Britches
I dreamt I was back in high school playing 3p FFA MtG. Here are the cards I can remember:

???
??
Sorcery
Each player may reveal a card from his or her hand, then return a card that shares a card type with it from his or her graveyard to his or her hand.

Stranglethorn Tiger
3G
Creature — Cat
5/5
Hexproof

Monster Unicorn
3W
Creature — Unicorn
2/2
Monster Unicorn enters the battlefield with three time counters on it.
When Monster Unicorn enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to each player for each creature they control other than Monster Unicorn, and 6 damage to each of those creatures.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from Monster Unicorn. If you can't, it deals 8 damage to you.

Fireball (No Relation to the Other One)
6RR
Sorcery
If you have fewer cards in your hand than the number of creatures on the battlefield, Fireball (No Relation to the Other One) costs {6} less to cast.
Fireball (No Relation to the Other One) deals 12 damage to each creature.

Wizards should hire me to nap in my cubicle all day IMO.

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011

Xom posted:

I dreamt I was back in high school playing 3p FFA MtG. Here are the cards I can remember:

???
??
Sorcery
Each player may reveal a card from his or her hand, then return a card that shares a card type with it from his or her graveyard to his or her hand.

Stranglethorn Tiger
3G
Creature — Cat
5/5
Hexproof

Monster Unicorn
3W
Creature — Unicorn
2/2
Monster Unicorn enters the battlefield with three time counters on it.
When Monster Unicorn enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to each player for each creature they control other than Monster Unicorn, and 6 damage to each of those creatures.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from Monster Unicorn. If you can't, it deals 8 damage to you.

Fireball (No Relation to the Other One)
6RR
Sorcery
If you have fewer cards in your hand than the number of creatures on the battlefield, Fireball (No Relation to the Other One) costs {6} less to cast.
Fireball (No Relation to the Other One) deals 12 damage to each creature.

Wizards should hire me to nap in my cubicle all day IMO.

Not unless they want to get sued by Blizzard, since your Stranglethorn Tiger is an exact copy of a Hearthstone card, including the name.

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀
It's {1} cheaper, though.

Xom
Sep 2, 2008

文化英雄
Fan of Britches
I think it's because my 80-card little-kid green deck had a pair of Springing Tiger in it.

(Edit: Of course I know Hearthstone has a Stranglethorn Tiger—otherwise it couldn't've appeared in my dream.)

Xom fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Jul 4, 2014

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009

quote:

Legendary Enchantment (blue)
Pay 4 life: put four 1/1 blue Merfolk creature tokens onto the battlefield
3, sacrifice a Merfolk for each card in your graveyard: return all creatures to their owner's hand
4U, sacrifice any number of Merfolk: return up to that many target permanents to their owner's hand
2U: draw two cards
At the beginning of each opponent's end step, flip ~this~.
Whenever a spell is countered, target artifact is black until end of turn
- - - - -
Legendary Enchantment (blue)
Whenever you draw a card, you may Sacrifice a Bird. If you do, attach target Equipment to target untapped Bird. (Control of that Equipment doesn't change.)
all players may cast black spells by paying ''WWU'' rather than paying their mana cost
Sacrifice a creature, Discard a card: tap all artifacts
-- When angered, His partner is greater than the greatest uncle
– Nephikitty

Converted mana cost: 4

wow

Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011
The awkwardest black/white/blue setup.

Conceptually, I like the delay before it attains it's full mana saving potential but farting out 16 mermen on turn 4 seems a bit excessive.

Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011

quote:

Enchantment (black)
When an opponent controls no nonlegendary multicoloured permanents, flip ~this~.
At the beginning of your combat phase, ~this~ deals 1 damage to target creature or player for each untapped permanent you control on the battlefield and destroy two target nonblack creatures
- - - - -
Legendary Enchantment (black)
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, untap target creature with toughness X or less, where X is the number of cards in an opponent's hand and gain control of it until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.
Pay 4 life: ~this~ deals 1 damage to each of two target players for each card in an opponent's hand. This damage can't be prevented. When a creature damaged this way is put into a graveyard from the battlefield this turn, return it to the battlefield under your control
--Even the confused wish may kill
– Azul

Converted mana cost: 2
and

quote:

Sorcery (red)
Choose one: ~this~ deals 1 damage to target player for each land on the battlefield; or copy target spell or ability and you may choose new targets for the copy

Converted mana cost: 4
as opposed to

quote:

Instant (white)
target nonlegendary creature gets +0/+1 until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 2

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009
Crazy set

quote:

Creature - Goblin Rogue (2/2, red)
first strike
Threshold - If you have seven or more cards in your graveyard, All nonlegendary permanents gain ''Pay 5 life: put a 4/4 green Beast creature token onto the battlefield'' and ''Sacrifice a permanent: put a 5/5 red Dragon creature token with flying and haste onto the battlefield'' and ''Pay 4 life: put a 5/5 red Dragon creature token with flying onto the battlefield'' and ''Sacrifice a Dragon: copy target sorcery spell and you may choose new targets for the copy''

Converted mana cost: 3

Game instantly becomes a game of Dragons

quote:

Sorcery (black)
you may return any number of cards from your graveyard to the battlefield
--His choir harasses faster than the afternoon
– Vitenka

Converted mana cost: 1

Perhaps one of the most powerful cards the generator has ever made

quote:

Creature - Bird (2/2, blue)
Flying
1WUBRG: all creatures get -4/-0 until end of turn
When ~this~ leaves the battlefield, target player may Sacrifice a facedown Bird. If that player does, exchange control of target permanent you control and target permanent of the same type target opponent controls
--A single knight burns a gate yet can defeat the wisest string
– LiveJournal

Converted mana cost: 7

LiveJournal.

Tardigrade
Jul 13, 2012

Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.

quote:

Ered Ofipagipith
Planeswalker - Ered (red, Loyalty 4)
+2: ~this~ deals 1 damage to target player for each creature on the battlefield. When a creature damaged this way is put into a graveyard from the battlefield this turn, return it to the battlefield under your control
-4: target tapped creature gains ''When ~this~ leaves the battlefield, destroy all artifacts. They can't be regenerated.'' until end of turn and untap that creature and gain control of it until end of turn. It gains haste until end of turn.
-7: any number of target permanents gain ''Whenever a nonlegendary untapped artifact you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, target artifact creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn'' (This effect doesn't end)
--Humanity bounces bigger than the stove
– Anonymous

Converted mana cost: 4

The best ultimate.

Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011

quote:

Creature - Kithkin Cleric (2/3, white and black)
If an opponent would draw a card, instead clash with an opponent. If you win, ~this~ can't attack until end of turn
fear
--Her plastic surprises the fastest gate
– Eshecini, Traitor of the Grove

Converted mana cost: 2
Hope you got some kind of removal in your opening hand or turn 1 draw because if not...

Ezzer
Aug 5, 2011

One of the cards I just rolled said sacrifice a library. that's hard core.

EDIT: Behold, the actual best land ever

Land
~this~ enters the battlefield tapped.
T: add R to your mana pool
T: add 2 to your mana pool
T: add 2 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on spells.
4, T: add 1RRRR to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on spells.

Ezzer fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Oct 30, 2014

Tonfa
Apr 8, 2008

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.
:boom:
he knows...

quote:

Creature - Dragon (2/3, red)
Flying
Threshold - If you have seven or more cards in your graveyard, defender

Converted mana cost: 3

This is actually a pretty cool design.

Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011

quote:

Creature - Human Warrior (2/1, red)
1BRG, Sacrifice a creature: ~this~ deals 2 damage to each creature
When ~this~ is returned to its owner's hand, add R to your mana pool for each Arcane spell cast this turn
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, ~this~ deals 1 damage to target creature for each creature on the battlefield
T: add 2RRRG to your mana pool
R, T: put a +1/+1 counter on ~this~
1R, remove any number of +1/+1 counters from ~this~: ~this~ deals that much damage to target creature

Converted mana cost: 1

quote:

Instant (blue)
return all lands to their owner's hand

Converted mana cost: 1
These would go well together.

e while we're on the subjects of weird lands:

quote:

Enchantment - Aura (green)
Enchant untapped land
Enchanted land is a creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost in addition to its other types
When ~this~ leaves the battlefield, each player may search his or her library for up to two basic land cards and put them into hand. Each player who searched his or her library this way shuffles it.
Sacrifice ~this~: target opponent gains 1 life for each nonbasic land you control

Converted mana cost: 5

quote:

Legendary Creature - Dryad (1/3, green)
1: each player may search his or her library for up to one land card and put it into the battlefield. Each player who searched his or her library this way shuffles it.
shroud

Converted mana cost: 1

Asehujiko fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Oct 30, 2014

Keiya
Aug 22, 2009

Come with me if you want to not die.

quote:

Creature - Bird (2/3, white)
Flying
Pay 4 life: put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token onto the battlefield for each spell cast this turn
Sacrifice a creature with total power and toughness 5 or more, sacrifice any number of Soldiers: put that many 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens onto the battlefield
vigilance

Converted mana cost: 4

I actually kinda like the second ability, it's awful until you start thinking about situations where it could easily become useful.

Samael
Oct 16, 2012



.

Samael fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Nov 5, 2014

Zemyla
Aug 6, 2008

I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

quote:

Land
Sacrifice ~this~, T: add one mana of any colour to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on artifact spells with converted mana cost X or less, where X is the number of attacking creatures on the battlefield.
So to use it, I need to sacrifice it, have an artifact with flash which cares about colored mana to cast it on, and be attacking or defending. Christ Almighty.

Carados
Jan 28, 2009

We're a couple, when our bodies double.

Zemyla posted:

So to use it, I need to sacrifice it, have an artifact with flash which cares about colored mana to cast it on, and be attacking or defending. Christ Almighty.

Finally the Baton of Courage enabler legacy has been waiting for.

Lars
Jul 6, 2004

Better Lucky Than Good.
(since 1994)
Artifact - Equipment
Equip R
Whenever equipped creature is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, ~this~ is a artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn
--The hugest show envies even the wisest zebra
Yet her song can crush the most beautiful week
– Thiseed Fenna, Ice Rebel

Converted mana cost: 7



--- Wow...

Samael
Oct 16, 2012



Creature - Spirit (1/1, white and blue)
5WWW: put a 1/1 black Cleric creature token onto the battlefield
Discard a card: put a 2/4 white and blue Wizard creature token onto the battlefield
Discard a artifact card: put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token onto the battlefield
Sacrifice five Soldiers: counter target spell or ability
1W, sacrifice any number of Soldiers: destroy up to that many target enchantments you control
2UU, Sacrifice ~this~: ~this~ deals 2 damage to each of two target attacking or blocking creatures
Ninjutsu X colourless mana, where X is the number of cards in your hand
--Her rain advises bigger than the confused creature
– Vitenka

Converted mana cost: 7

AlternateNu
May 5, 2005

ドーナツダメ!

quote:

Instant (black)
destroy target nonblack creature
--Nature is mightier than even the best scale
Because universe is greater than the creature
– Eses the Keen, Novice Member of the Cult of the Golden Woods

Converted mana cost: 6

Future limited removal at common.

quote:

Creature - Dragon Shaman (3/3, red)
Flying
nongreen creature spells with converted mana cost 7 or more cost any player an additional ''Pay 2 life'' to cast

Converted mana cost: 1

"Cost any player"? That is some odd templating.

quote:

Sorcery (green)
put three 3/3 green Beast creature tokens onto the battlefield
--Humanity proves better than the skilled toad
– Ithisk Firefoot

Converted mana cost: 1

:gonk:

quote:

Creature - Horror (3/1, black and blue)
3: ~this~ gains ''fear'' until end of turn
At the beginning of your end step, return target library to its owner's hand

Converted mana cost: 3

Bwwahahahahahah!

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!



Oh, I remember this thread. Did anyone ever come up with a plan to draft this absolute madhouse of a "format"? Also, from months ago, but I think this is my all-time favourite wacky design:

Zombie #246 posted:

quote:

Instant (red)
Affinity for permanents
Buyback X, where X is the amount of mana in your mana pool
add 2 to your mana pool

Converted mana cost: 1
:siren:

i dont even

I should obviously use this generator to make a random cube

SEX HAVER 40000
Aug 6, 2009

no doves fly here lol
I just used this for the first time and the very first card it gives me is this:

quote:

Instant (blue)
return target library to its owner's hand

Converted mana cost: 5

The most powerful card draw ever printed?

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice

SEX HAVER 40000 posted:

I just used this for the first time and the very first card it gives me is this:


The most powerful card draw ever printed?

Draw 60 for 5 is worse than draw 3 for 1.

AlternateNu
May 5, 2005

ドーナツダメ!

cheetah7071 posted:

Draw 60 for 5 is worse than draw 3 for 1.

Except it actually reads

Instant(blue) CMC:5
Your opponent loses at the end of their next draw phase.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Land
T: add 2 to your mana pool
2, T: add 1 to your mana pool

Decisions, decisions...

quote:

Enchantment (green)
When ~this~ enters the battlefield, draw a card
Whenever an opponent taps a land for mana, destroy all lands
--A single snail can defeat even the greatest jar
Though a week battles better than even the dog
– Oalishase Aewailaiquee, Mage Knight

Converted mana cost: 2

Oh jeez.

JerryLee
Feb 4, 2005

THE RESERVED LIST! THE RESERVED LIST! I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE RESERVED LIST!

Samael posted:

Creature - Spirit (1/1, white and blue)
5WWW: put a 1/1 black Cleric creature token onto the battlefield
Discard a card: put a 2/4 white and blue Wizard creature token onto the battlefield
Discard a artifact card: put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token onto the battlefield
Sacrifice five Soldiers: counter target spell or ability
1W, sacrifice any number of Soldiers: destroy up to that many target enchantments you control
2UU, Sacrifice ~this~: ~this~ deals 2 damage to each of two target attacking or blocking creatures
Ninjutsu X colourless mana, where X is the number of cards in your hand
--Her rain advises bigger than the confused creature
– Vitenka

Converted mana cost: 7

I like how completely by accident there's a reason why you'd want to ever use the otherwise worse and more specific Soldier making ability over the Wizard making ability.

Not a good one, mind you, but a reason.

Kraven Moorhed
Jan 5, 2006

So wrong, yet so right.

Soiled Meat

Chamale posted:

Oh, I remember this thread. Did anyone ever come up with a plan to draft this absolute madhouse of a "format"?

One solution would be to use a draft-capable multiplayer client like Forge or Cockatrice. Finding some way to automate generating, naming and importing cards for a new pool each time would be an amazing feat, but I imagine some of the cards might cause problems for any client that tries to render the rules and keep track of things.

Physical seems like it'd be easier mechanically if you're looking to keep the random element intact. You'd just need a printer and some sleeved tokens/backwards cards. Copy the text from five refreshes into simple templates, print and apply scissors, sleeve them up: bam, booster pack. Have each player do it themselves and give them a pen to name their cards. It'd be ugly and a little time consuming, but easy as hell.

Gazhole
Jun 20, 2007

Them's some nice boots. Fo' thirty dollars yo' knows they's real leather

quote:

Instant (black)
Choose one: destroy target land; or clash with an opponent. If you win, you lose 3 life
-- When sleepy, Every grandest tree envies a single territory
– Odin, the white

Converted mana cost: 1

How is that 'winning' ?

Bread Set Jettison
Jan 8, 2009

quote:

Legendary Creature - Dragon Wizard (1/3, red)
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a improbability counter on target land
Each permanent with a improbability counter on it gains ''If ~this~ would deal damage, any player may pay 2RR. If a player doesn't, it deals that much damage plus 4 instead''
When ~this~ enters the battlefield, ~this~ deals 1 damage to each of two target players for each basic land type among lands an opponent controls
All untapped libraries gain ''Whenever one or more lands leaves the battlefield, target opponent reveals the top one cards of his or her library. that player puts a sorcery card from among them into hand, and exiles the rest.''

Converted mana cost: 3

very improbable

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011


That actually looks like fun if you've got a deck that turns lands into creatures or otherwise lets lands deal damage somehow.


Oh wait, poo poo, it says target land. You can gently caress them up hard if they use painlands too!

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biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Creature - Human Rogue (1/1, red)
T: add B to your mana pool for each card in an opponent's hand. Spend this mana only on spells and activated abilities.
Tap an untapped nonlegendary library you control, T: ~this~ can't block (This effect doesn't end)
--Her flamekin haunts more beautifully than the most beautiful uncle
– Alex

Converted mana cost: 1

The first ability is interesting and weird, the second ability is "do an impossible thing so your dude can never block :yayclod:"

quote:

Isheshe Ecer
Planeswalker - Isheshe (blue, Loyalty 5)
+1: gain control of target permanent (This effect doesn't end)
-4: all white creatures can't be blocked until end of turn
-8: draw a card
--A single bun surprises the mightiest road
But a single skate may catch the grandest stew
– Traditional

Converted mana cost: 1

Holy poo poo that basic power :magical:

quote:

Land
T: add B to your mana pool1

It made a swamp.

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