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Mister Olympus
Oct 31, 2011

Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

quote:

Creature - Bird (2/2, white)
Flying
4WWWWWW: put a 1/1 white Cleric creature token onto the battlefield
Sacrifice X Clerics, where X is the number of basic land types among lands you control: attach target Equipment to target red creature. Gain control of that Equipment until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 3

What is with this thing and absurdly overcosted "make a cleric token" abilities?

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Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Mister Olympus posted:

What is with this thing and absurdly overcosted "make a cleric token" abilities?

Why are you complaining? It passes the vanilla test :colbert:

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011

quote:

Tribal Enchantment - Zombie (black)
If you would be dealt damage, an opponent may pay 4B. If that player doesn't, that damage is dealt to target player instead

Converted mana cost: 7


That... actually looks pretty legit.

quote:

Legendary Artifact
Sacrifice a land, T: put a charge counter on ~this~
Discard a instant card, T: put a charge counter on ~this~
1U, remove a charge counter from ~this~: draw a card
Discard a card: ~this~ deals 6 damage to each of two target creatures
1G: ~this~ deals 1 damage to target creature for each permanent you control
Imprint — When ~this~ enters the battlefield, exile target basic land card in your graveyard. (The exiled card is imprinted on this artifact.)
permanents of any colour of mana the imprinted card could produce gain protection from green
When ~this~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card
--Even the most stalwart pie twists
– 1ap Aera Coldheart

Converted mana cost: 4

I also really want this to exist as-is. I would love to see a deck actually use this.



quote:

Sorcery (black)
you reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card, put that card into hand, and exile the rest.

Converted mana cost: 4

So you... draw a card and reveal it. Ok then.





quote:

Holy poo poo that basic power :magical:


That's weak poo poo. Check THIS motherfucker out!


quote:

Enchantment (red)
spells cost your opponents an additional ''Sacrifice a library'' to cast

Converted mana cost: 6

:magical:

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Pesa Owit
Planeswalker - Pesa (white, Loyalty 6)
+2: target opponent may search his or her library for a artifact card, reveal it, and put it onto the battlefield under his or her control. If that player does, that player shuffles that library afterwards.
-4: tap up to two target permanents an opponent controls and regenerate those permanents
-10: target opponent puts three 1/1 white Cleric creature tokens onto the battlefield
--The grandest cemetery enjoys
– Aridoll, Frost Monk

Converted mana cost: 4

Traitor.

quote:

Enchantment (blue)
All black enchantments are enchantments in addition to their other types
--A trail grounds even the wisest toe yet commands faster than even the most awesome visitor shall
– Ochakia the Treacherous

Converted mana cost: 4

:effort:

Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received

quote:

Creature - Zombie Elf (1/2, black)
defender
All creatures with toughness 3 or less gain bushido 7

Converted mana cost: 2

Not braaaaiiins. Haaanzooooo steeeel foooolded oooooone miiillion tiiiimes.

quote:

Creature - Bird Cleric (1/1, white)
Flying
All nonlegendary lands are creatures with power and toughness equal to their converted mana cost in addition to their other types

Converted mana cost: 2

Wow what a loving rear end in a top hat this armabird is. And it's in the same color as Karakas and Flagstones.

quote:

Sorcery (red)
Choose one: add RRRR to your mana pool; or add 1 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on spells.

Converted mana cost: 3

Man, what a difficult choice.

Vorpal Cat
Mar 19, 2009

Oh god what did I just post?

quote:

Creature - Zombie Elf (1/2, black)
defender
All creatures with toughness 3 or less gain bushido 7

Converted mana cost: 2

So how would this work with the legendary that says "Each other Samurai creature you control gets +1/+1 for each point of bushido it has."? Would a 3/3 changing get get +7/+7 or nothing?

Dr. Stab
Sep 12, 2010
👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

Vorpal Cat posted:

So how would this work with the legendary that says "Each other Samurai creature you control gets +1/+1 for each point of bushido it has."? Would a 3/3 changing get get +7/+7 or nothing?

I'm pretty sure it would get +7/+7 and still have bushido, which is probably why they haven't printed a continuous effect that adds abilities based on p/t.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Creature - Spirit (3/2, black)
If you would draw a card, instead you reveal the top five cards of your library. you put a creature card from among them into hand, and put the rest into your graveyard
your opponents may cast spells without paying their mana cost

Converted mana cost: 5

Get hosed, me!

quote:

Creature - Rat (1/1, black)
If you would be dealt damage, an opponent may Pay 2 life. If that player does, instead you lose 4 life

Converted mana cost: 5

No seriously, me, get hosed.

quote:

Creature - Human Rogue (2/2, blue)
4WUBRGU: put a 1/1 blue Wizard creature token onto the battlefield for each card in your hand
Pay 1 life, Tap an untapped legendary library you control, sacrifice any number of Wizards: return up to that many target libraries to their owner's hand
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, you may pay X colourless mana, where X is your life total. If you don't, the next time a black creature would regenerate this turn, instead that creature gets -2/-0 (This effect doesn't end)

Converted mana cost: 3

WUBRGU? What's the second U for?

Also the usual nonsense about libraries.

quote:

Sorcery - Arcane (black)
sacrifice any number of tapped libraries. target player loses that much life

Converted mana cost: 2

welp

Asehujiko
Apr 6, 2011

quote:

Sorcery (black)
target red creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn and distribute up to three +1/+1 counters on that creature

Converted mana cost: 3

quote:

Sorcery (red)
target creature with first strike gets +2/+0 until end of turn
--Her toad challenges more beautifully than the cow
– Kotaku, the elder

Converted mana cost: 1

quote:

Enchantment (black)
If you would be dealt damage, instead that player loses 3 life

Converted mana cost: 4
I like the last one, it can backfire horribly but can save your rear end if your opponent has some heavy hitters.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




First one is interesting - small boost this turn, bigger boost once that turn is done.

quote:

Creature - Kithkin Cleric (3/3, white)
~this~ enters the battlefield with four +1/+1 counters on it
Remove a +1/+1 counter from ~this~: put four 1/1 white Cleric creature tokens onto the battlefield
All creatures get +1/+1
--Every skate envies
– Thout the True

Converted mana cost: 2

Haha yeah that's broken.

Ezzer
Aug 5, 2011

a 7/7 with the capability of poooping out 16 2/2's for 2 mana?

naw, seems to check out

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009

Ezzer posted:

a 7/7 with the capability of poooping out 16 2/2's for 2 mana?

naw, seems to check out

Actually it's an 8/8, which might make it too powerful for that cost.

Mister Olympus
Oct 31, 2011

Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

quote:

Creature - Beast (3/1, green)
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, each player may put up to three creature cards with converted mana cost 7 or less from hand onto the battlefield

Converted mana cost: 1

Well, that's going to escalate quickly

quote:

Legendary Land
T: add 1 to your mana pool
1, Tap an untapped enchantment you control, T: add 1 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on activated abilities.
At the beginning of your end step, target opponent may pay X white mana, where X is the number of basic land types among lands an opponent controls. If that player does, put a improbability counter on ~this~. If ~this~ has four or more improbability counters on it, flip it.
- - - - -
Legendary Land
At the beginning of your upkeep, ~this~ deals 3 damage to target creature
--Every fiercest pocket may minimise
Albeit the grass enlightens even the most awesome town
– Foucault, the true

Nope.

Irony Be My Shield
Jul 29, 2012

quote:

Instant (black)
destroy all nonblack black creatures
--Every seed can kill
– Azul, the wonder governor

Converted mana cost: 1

quote:

Creature - Goblin Wizard (2/2, red)
Whenever ~this~ deals damage to a player, destroy all lands

Converted mana cost: 1

quote:

Sorcery - Arcane (green)
two target nonwhite creatures get +3/+3 until end of turn and those creatures get +4/+4 until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 3

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Mister Olympus posted:

Well, that's going to escalate quickly


Nope.

Well its called an improbability counter for a reason.

PrinnySquadron
Dec 8, 2009

quote:

Land
~this~ enters the battlefield tapped.
T: add W to your mana pool
1, T, sacrifice ~this~: search your library for a land card and put it into hand, then shuffle your library
Tap an untapped basic land you control: target opponent loses 4 life
--Her slave challenges more insidiously than the grandest bed
– Oafoust Oneresh Frostheart

Creature - Treefolk Shaman (3/1, green)
any player may cast spells without paying their mana cost

Converted mana cost: 7

Creature - Human Cleric (2/1, white)
Sacrifice a nonblue creature: put a 1/1 white Cleric creature token onto the battlefield
All Clerics gain lifelink

Converted mana cost: 1

That land starts kind of reasonable, then goes nuts.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Tribal Enchantment - Spirit (black and blue)
Sacrifice ~this~, Sacrifice a creature with power X or less, where X is the number of colours among permanents an opponent controls: sacrifice any number of permanents. target player gets that many poison counters
4BUBR: put two 1/1 black Cleric creature tokens onto the battlefield
4BB: put a 1/1 white Spirit creature token onto the battlefield
Pay 6 life: put a 2/3 black Zombie creature token onto the battlefield
3BBBBB: put a 1/1 black Cleric creature token onto the battlefield
Sacrifice a Cleric: each opponent gets 1 poison counter
Sacrifice three Clerics: regenerate target Spirit
Sacrifice a Cleric: regenerate two target creatures with power 2 or less
Sacrifice five Clerics: target creature with trample gets -3/-2 until end of turn
Tap an untapped permanent you control, Pay 4 life: each opponent gets 2 poison counters
--His money branches more destructively than even the sink
Yet humanity covers more swiftly than the mightiest stranger
– Liech the Breeze

Converted mana cost: 3

Just imagine how small the text on this card would be.

quote:

Enchantment (white)
All tapped colourless creatures can block any number of creatures
--Even the goldfish can defeat
– Ousiluathia Demar the Cold

Converted mana cost: 7

welp

quote:

Enchantment (blue)
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, put a leak counter on ~this~
~this~ enters the battlefield with four leak counters on it
Remove a leak counter from ~this~: return all untapped basic lands to their owner's hand
Whenever a spell is countered, until end of turn, if a creature would be dealt damage, target player may Pay 1 life. If that player doesn't, instead up to X target tapped creatures can't be blocked until end of turn, where X is the number of poison counters you have and those creatures gain ''Pay 6 life: put four 1/1 blue Wizard creature tokens onto the battlefield'' and ''Pay 5 life: put two 1/1 blue Bird creature tokens with flying onto the battlefield'' and ''Sacrifice a Faerie: put a 3/3 blue Merfolk creature token onto the battlefield'' and ''Sacrifice a creature with total power and toughness 6 or less, sacrifice a Merfolk: change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one basic land type with another. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)'' until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 2

Turn three: your opponent is limited to 1 land forever, and also you have some bonus unparsable bullshit, hooray!

Irony Be My Shield
Jul 29, 2012

biosterous posted:

Just imagine how small the text on this card would be.
It also pretty much makes you win next turn if you have any life left and a creature to sacrifice.

That leak counter thing is creatively horrible.

e: this is my favourite use of counters so far

quote:

Creature - Goblin Warrior (2/2, red)
All Goblins gain ''protection from instant or sorcery spells''
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, attach target Equipment to target untapped creature. Gain control of that Equipment until end of turn and ~this~ deals 1 damage to that creature. If a creature damaged this way would be put into a graveyard this turn, exile it instead
1RRRR, Sacrifice a black creature: put a speed counter on target land
Whenever you cast a land spell, target opponent may pay R. If that player does, put a speed counter on target creature
3RR: put a speed counter on target artifact
2WUBRG, Sacrifice a land: target enchantment with a speed counter on it gains ''All creatures with toughness 3 or more get +1/-1'' until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 3

Irony Be My Shield fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Apr 16, 2015

Mister Olympus
Oct 31, 2011

Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

Irony Be My Shield posted:

It also pretty much makes you win next turn if you have any life left and a creature to sacrifice.

That leak counter thing is creatively horrible.

e: this is my favourite use of counters so far

The second ability looks like it could almost be an interesting spell in its own right.

But then you get to the rest of it.

quote:

Creature - Human Soldier (2/1, white)
Sacrifice a nonbasic land, Tap an untapped permanent you control: up to seven target attacking or blocking creatures can't attack or block (This effect doesn't end)
All attacking creatures can't attack or block
Recover WU
-- When sleepy, His mint pauses a pollution yet enlightens the stalwart laborer
– Alilo, Soldier of the Meadow

Converted mana cost: 2
But how does it

Mister Olympus fucked around with this message at 07:56 on Apr 16, 2015

Tardigrade
Jul 13, 2012

Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.

quote:

Creature - Dryad Druid (2/1, green)
3GG: you put a 4/4 green Beast creature token onto the battlefield

Converted mana cost: 4

Heyyyy this is actually reasonable!?

quote:

Creature - Gorgon Cleric (1/1, black and blue)
T: Assemble a Contraption
Whenever a creature with toughness 3 or more regenerates, put a doom counter on target creature
Each creature with a doom counter on it can't be blocked except by creatures
B: each creature with a doom counter on it gains ''Whenever a creature is dealt damage, destroy target nonblack creature'' until end of turn
Pay 1 life, Sacrifice ~this~: each permanent with a doom counter on it gains ''4BB: put a 1/1 black Cleric creature token onto the battlefield for each poison counter an opponent has'' and ''4UU: put four 1/1 black and blue Bird creature tokens with flying onto the battlefield'' and ''Sacrifice four Birds: Regenerate ~this~'' and ''Sacrifice three Birds: ~this~ can't be blocked until end of turn'' and ''Sacrifice ~this~, sacrifice any number of Birds: that many untapped permanents gain protection from blocking creatures until end of turn'' until end of turn
--His partner made of stone endures the aspirational crayon but challenges better than even the most stalwart stage
– Nemesis, the wonder fool

Converted mana cost: 3

My favorite part of this monstrosity is "can't be blocked except by creatures"
Also doom counters :black101:

quote:

Land
T: add 1 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on creature spells.
T: add R to your mana pool
T: add 1 to your mana pool
When ~this~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, two target unblocked creatures gain ''Whenever you cast a Equipment spell, two target creatures with both power and toughness 7 or less get -3/+3 until end of turn and any number of target black creatures gain flying (This effect doesn't end)'' until end of turn
--Her calendar envies a day and is greater than the best pear
– Vitenka

Choices, choices...

Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Irony Be My Shield posted:

Instant (black) 
destroy all nonblack black creatures 
--Every seed can kill 
– Azul, the wonder governor 

Converted mana cost: 1

Finally, an answer for the Alara version of meddling mage.

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




quote:

Instant (green)
all white creatures get +2/+3 until end of turn and those creatures get +1/+2 until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 1

Broken and silly.

quote:

Creature - Elf Shaman (1/2, green and black)
2: add two mana of any one colour to your mana pool
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, target opponent may search his or her library for a land card, reveal it, and put it into his or her hand. If that player does, that player shuffles that library afterwards.
All green creatures get +3/+4
Discard a card, T: regenerate target attacking creature

Converted mana cost: 1

4/6 on turn one, but gives your opponent land. Interesting.

[quote]Sorcery (green)
add 1 to your mana pool
Splice onto instant: 3G
--Her coil twists just one activity but may catch even the wisest elbow
– Theisowa Lishig, Soldier of the Tomb

Converted mana cost: 3/[quote]

It's... beautiful.

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
Have you guys seen this poo poo? Because its loving hilarious

http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/creativity/custom-card-creation/612057-generating-magic-cards-using-deep-recurrent-neural





Tromple actually sounds pretty cool, but a 4/2 for U is heinously OP.

And holy crap, Bronfustaris? I see power creep is alive and well.

There's a whole list of them here: https://twitter.com/roborosewater

Pretty drat funny stuff.

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009

quote:

Enchantment (black)
4BBBB: put a 1/1 white Spirit creature token onto the battlefield for each poison counter you have
4BBBBR: put a 4/4 black Zombie creature token onto the battlefield
Sacrifice a Zombie: target creature gains ''Threshold - If you have seven or more cards in your graveyard, All untapped enchantments are black'' until end of turn and put two +1/+1 counters on that permanent
Sacrifice a Zombie: target nongreen creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn
At the beginning of your end step, you may Sacrifice a Beast. If you don't, target opponent may return a card from his or her graveyard to the battlefield
--Every fireman can rally
– Foucault

Converted mana cost: 1

quote:

Omewesen Isheto
Planeswalker - Omewesen (red, Loyalty 7)
+1: up to two target permanents you control gain ''2: target creature with first strike gets +4/+0 until end of turn'' until end of turn
-1: ~this~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player
-11: add one mana of any colour to your mana pool
--The fastest vacation made of dreams can ground
– Aneesk the Hard-Hearted, Arch Wizard of the Order of the Fire Dirk

Converted mana cost: 1



quote:

Instant (white)
Choose one: clash with an opponent. If you win, search your library for a basic land card and put it into hand, then shuffle your library; or destroy all black creatures. They can't be regenerated.
--A pollution appears faster than even the confused minister
– Vitenka

Converted mana cost: 6

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




Zaphod42 posted:

Have you guys seen this poo poo? Because its loving hilarious

http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/creativity/custom-card-creation/612057-generating-magic-cards-using-deep-recurrent-neural

There's a whole list of them here: https://twitter.com/roborosewater

Pretty drat funny stuff.



You may cast your graveyard.

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
I'm not sure which I like better, the cards that are hilariously OP or the cards that make no goddamned sense whatsoever



:wtc:

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Zaphod42 posted:

I'm not sure which I like better, the cards that are hilariously OP or the cards that make no goddamned sense whatsoever



:wtc:

I didn't know Magic cards could have aphasia, but there we go.

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
Here, I updated the card art

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Zaphod42 posted:

Here, I updated the card art



Needs protection from maps that share a color with your graveyard into your hand.

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.


Well that's... worthless.



Would that require you to have a copy of the card in your hand in order to use the ability?
If so that's actually a kinda cool mechanic. AynRanding.



Okay this I actually really like. It can get ridiculously big for cheap but then its tapped.

I really like the idea of a monster that can pump itself up but then needs some help actually making it into battle.
Unfortunately its too easy to untap or use it as a high power creature still. Needs to be more like +3/+3.



And we're right back to crazy town

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009
Seems Wizards really dropped the ball on constellation decks:

Frgrbrgr
Jan 20, 2009
From reddit:

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

Frgrbrgr posted:

From reddit:



Haha, nice. That's actually not too far off from that one old card that cost 2 of each mana color and then you just won the game. It was somewhere in the stronghold-block I wanna say, the card had Gerrard on it. Call to arms or shared victory or something?

More Markov cards:



Holy poo poo, a sliver? And it actually has proper sliver rules. That's wild. I wonder if the markov chain correctly identified that all sliver cards have sliver related rules.

As is its a player twist on vampiric sliver. I would actually maybe use this? I have a sliver EDH deck.



This is actually pretty great. Flying prodigal sorcerer which pings for 2? Only 1/2 so not too OP, costs 1RR.
Pretty drat nice, maybe a little strong.



A little strange, but I like it. This is perfectly valid.



It wouldn't be random card generation if we didn't get a few oddballs like this though. :psyduck:

biosterous
Feb 23, 2013




The more advanced the computer in the art is, the longer that network has been running & learning. that's why the mainframes are actually decent cards, while the B/W scientists are generally gibberish.

Content:

quote:

Sorcery (green)
Convoke
put three 4/4 green Beast creature tokens onto the battlefield
--His song may catch even the fastest title
– Traditional

Converted mana cost: 1

3 4/4 creatures on turn one :shepface:

Rorac
Aug 19, 2011

quote:

Creature - Zombie Snake (2/2, black)
All creatures get -3/-3
4: ~this~ gets -1/-5 until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 4

If there's some way to reverse the stat penalties, this could be pretty cool. Alternatively, a 4 drop to nail a bunch of weenies could work out too if you've got mostly big creatures.


quote:

Enchantment (red)
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip ~this~.
3: destroy target artifact
- - - - -
Legendary Enchantment (red)
Enchant permanent you control
Sacrifice ~this~: destroy all lands
Whenever enchanted permanent is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, ~this~ gains ''Discard a card: an opponent gets 2 poison counters'' until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 1

Legit rules question, because I've never used flip cards that do that; if it gets flipped can you immediately enchant a target as per the card's request? If so, if I've got 5 cards in my hand and you destroy whatever's enchanted, can I pop that last ability and instakill the opponent, or does a destroyed card also immediately cause the destruction of any attached enchantments?

FreelanceSocialist
Nov 19, 2002
gently caress you Narset

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

FreelanceSocialist posted:

gently caress you Narset


Well poo poo dude, that's game.

Gensuki
Sep 2, 2011
weirdly relevant card. hits matter reshaper, rebound, narset, dash and surge. Old school also hates on flashback, suspend, overload and even hideaway of all things, not to mention other secondary casting costs.

Irony Be My Shield
Jul 29, 2012

I can imagine them printing exactly that card at a cost of 1W.

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Sigma-X
Jun 17, 2005

Irony Be My Shield posted:

I can imagine them printing exactly that card at a cost of 1W.

I think they'd add draw a card to it, but yeah I can totally see that being real at a low mana cost in white. I could even see it as 1w/g

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