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Richard Cabeza
Mar 1, 2005

What a dickhead...
I have been very lucky to be part of a family able to go annually to Disney World. Not bragging, just very fortunate.

I am now 42 and have done Disney World as both a kid and a parent. Here are a few tips of ours:

1. If you have a young kid 6-7, don't necessarily try to do without a stroller. They become awesome base ships for hauling all sorts of crap like water, a change of clothing if necessary. There is stroller parking everywhere. If you remember, pack a towel for wiping faces, sweat, or drying from the Disney weather phenomenon.

2. The Disney weather is this: If the weather sucks, just wait a bit and it will get better. I've had a few days where torrential downpours turned into beautiful summer days within 15 minutes.

3. If you have any part of your body that experiences pain (back, ankle, shoulder, whatever) go to your doctor and request something STRONG. As strong as you can handle without making you loopy. You're going to be walking your arse off (5-7 miles a day average) and once things start to hurt, they're going to get worse as time goes on. I have to endure sciatic pain when I get tired due to a back injury. If I'm packing vicodin or something then it's just a pair of pills and I'm back in action. Without painkillers I am almost lame within two-three days. Even if you're healthy, take some ibuprofen at least for headaches and muscle aches. Also, if you're not a very active person try walking at home in preparation. Disney's death march will kick your butt. It's not the distance, it's the fact you do it day after day.

4. Disney Magic Hours? It's been our experience that those parks actually are busier throughout the day because of the extra attention they receive. YMMV, but we intentionally avoid those parks on those days.

5. Disney World is a fundamentally different experience during off-peak times. Really consider taking the kids out of school for a few days and go in October or March. Lately we've been going the week prior to Christmas and really enjoying the relaxed environment. Last time we stayed for Christmas day and OMFG that was a disaster. I've not seen so many people there.

6. If you're from a cool climate, really reconsider the summertime trip. The heat can ruin your vacation if you're not expecting it. People turn into assholes when they're hot and tired. If you must go in August, do yourself a favor and stay on property. Go early morning, return to your room to swim and nap around 10-11 AM. Return to the park around 6-7 PM. I recommend napping because Disney World at night in summer is really special. The lighting, the sounds, and smells really seem more lucid.

7. A caveat to the meal plan. We love the meal plan because we do save cash but one hidden problem is that it tends to dictate where you need to be. Getting a restaurant without reservations is very hard and very frustrating as when you want to eat is the busiest time (naturally). That situation then dictates you have reservations. If you have reservations, you find yourself planning around food and not enjoying the park. In my opinion you really only have two options. Either you plan your trip around food or you eat at really weird times. The best restaurants aren't very crowded at 9:30 at night. They're active, but not crowded.

A-1 super tip: You are on vacation. If crowds, lines, and rude people put you in a rage, you will NOT have fun at Disney World. If your heart is set on a perfect vacation, you'll leave mad. If you go into the park with realistic expectations and don't try to Min-Max everything, it's a truly unique experience.

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