terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

i am really a poo poo programmer but I talk a good game, where should I send my resume? see you at work on monday.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:20

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 23:26

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

for real tho some of my unit tests need sleeps because I'm programming in perl and some of the modules I have to use don't have callbacks so fuckin welp

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:22

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

singletons are bad and so are boolean arguments. both of these things should cause a programmer to be struck off the computer janitor register.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:26

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

buttcoin smuggler posted:

someone get how!! in here

I'd rather hire someone who took the time to get it right, document it, unit test, and abstract it into nicely aesthetic code. What's the point of writing code if other people can't understand it? I have a lot of experience with companies who hire like this, and I usually end up proposing that it would be less time consuming and more fun if we just started the entire codebase again from scratch than spend weeks trying to figure it out. I end up leaving those companies out of frustration.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:32

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Algorithm questions are like a football minefield. Imagine if there was a football field that contained seven mines underneath innocent looking patches of grass. Every innocent piece of grass is left wondering why no one wants to walk over them.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:39

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

how!! made me laugh with his analogies which were somehow!! more confusing than whatever it was he was trying to say.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:40

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

lol if u don't do TDD

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:44

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

TDD is dumb until you end up turning in a project which had relatively little hiccups. then ur like hmm, that's p.good actually.

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:49

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

gucci void main posted:

unit testing is annoying, tdd is dumb, "agile" is dumb, stories are dumb, ruby is dumb, over-abstraction is a nightmare, obsession with oop/functional paradigms in everything is dumb, and programming is terrible.

i lust for death

hi sulk how is work in ur programming job

# ¿ May 7, 2013 23:51

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

attn all lovely programmers, especially sulk: the more you do your work, the better you will get at it. there is a general expectation in the programming industry that you will be left to your own devices to figure a lot of poo poo out on your own with minimal help from your boss, even if you're a noob. it sucks but it gets better and you just have to use whatever resources you get given to the best of your ability. if your requirements are vague, press your boss to be more specific. then stop being a little bitch and do your work.

X-BUM-RAIDER-X fucked around with this message at 07:24 on May 8, 2013

# ¿ May 8, 2013 07:21

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

I enjoy programming in c++ because when I actually manage to do something useful with that language, I feel like a goddamn genius

# ¿ May 8, 2013 08:47

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Cold on a Cob posted:

i started out writing reports, it was actually useful to my career because the one thing programmers are consistently terrible at is database design and writing sql queries for a year really teaches you about it if you apply yourself correctly

idg how so many people are bad at database design, i mean i don't even like that poo poo but somehow i still find myself exhaustively explaining to people that many-to-many relationships absolutely need to have an intersection table and that data duplication is a goddamn terrible thing and what the first three normal forms are. usually i get a dumb response like "well, they are just guidelines and don't always need to be followed". look shitheel, your solution involves 1) data duplication 2) broken referential integrity 3) inefficient. this is just the way it's done. you know, this is the way it's been correct for half a century of database theory.

# ¿ May 8, 2013 22:32

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

but if we replicate the data, we'll have one less join to do!!!

*ignores fact that there will be 10x as much data to join over*

# ¿ May 8, 2013 22:38

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

keygen and kel posted:

The consultant rehired the idiot to work for his firm, albeit doing something where he could do less damage.

On this day, a manager was born.

# ¿ May 9, 2013 10:41

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Nehacoo posted:

maybe... its u

not sure who u are but this made me laugh... u're in

# ¿ May 9, 2013 19:38

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

sulk, be less bad please. Thank you!

# ¿ May 9, 2013 20:06

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

"school doesn't teach you poo poo!" - someone who didn't go to school

# ¿ May 9, 2013 20:12

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

MononcQc posted:

I don't want to go back onto the "how to teach programming" topic that's been covered fruitlessly countless times, but I still remember students struggling more with C++ than with the data structures they were to be taught in data structure classes. Insert some lisp advocacy comment somewhere.

teachers that use c++ to teach DSA are fuckin idiots for real

# ¿ May 9, 2013 21:29

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Ericadia posted:

So what specific things in C++ do people hate? Like, name the #1 thing that makes you wish you were dead:

doing more than a femtosecond of boost debugging

# ¿ May 9, 2013 23:31

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

quantity of features doesn't make a language bad. c++ is actually very nice to use compared to any shitass p/e/l-lang.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 11:11

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

i dont really know why but when i go back to using c++ after using a p-lang for like half a year, it feels solid and productive. gently caress p-langs only use them if you are writing something unimportant that noone cares about.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 12:30

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

help, C++ is too expressive!! what am i supposed to do with all these features i dont need, its not like i can ignore them right??? i cant stand it when a language offers me an enormous wealth of potential unambiguous functionality!

# ¿ May 10, 2013 12:36

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

the correct brace style, the brace style handed down to us by The Lord Your God, is:

C++ code:

if (...){
  ...
}

while (...){
  ...
}

for (...){
  ...
}

int func (...)
{
  ...
}

class myClass 
{
};

# ¿ May 10, 2013 12:42

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

cool thing u might like to try

C++ code:

namespace std {
  namespace tr1 = ::boost;
}

# ¿ May 10, 2013 12:48

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

even sulk realises that paying for a text editor which its only saving grace is it is pretty is a stupid as gently caress idea. get it together cjs.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 13:01

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Cold on a Cob posted:

why is there nothing like notepad++ for osx?

http://macvim.org/OSX/index.php

# ¿ May 10, 2013 13:08

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Tori CMOS posted:

lol poor

not giving money to idiots doesnt count as poor. it's very much the opposite.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 13:35

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

tabwidth=2 or get the gently caress out

# ¿ May 10, 2013 15:56

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

its 2 spaces shaggar. thats what it means. the width of the tab is two spaces. hope this helps.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:23

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

prefect posted:

four-space indents or fight

sure, i mean, if you like pointless whitespace

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:25

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Shaggar posted:

no you idiot. you should not pay money for a text editor.

unless its visual studio

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:26

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

fidel sarcastro posted:

(use vim)

vim, 2 space tabs, and inkpot theme. all u need

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:27

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

code:

lol();
if (u){
  print '2 spaces are superior idiots';
  print 'get out';
}

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:29

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

prefect posted:

the lack of a space before that opening brace enrages me to an unreasonable degree

thats called autism, u should get it looked at

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:30

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

Shaggar posted:

visual studio is an ide

vim is a shitpile turd

unfortunately there are better ides. linux, for example.

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:32

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

i'm currently editing code which has the worst loving brace style i've ever seen. the person puts his code 2 spaces before the opening brace, so it looks like:

code:

  if()
  {
what();
  }

except for every if and loop.............................

# ¿ May 10, 2013 16:38

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

so that thing that sublime text does. sounds like what vim has been doing for 23 years.

# ¿ May 11, 2013 14:19

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

ok just installed gvim on windows and goddamn, what was i thinking ever using any other text editor on windows. gently caress

# ¿ May 11, 2013 14:38

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

use vim if ur serious about your text editing

# ¿ May 11, 2013 14:40

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 23:26

X-BUM-RAIDER-X: May 7, 2008

polpotpi posted:

except with a billion times less autism and better folder/multiple file handling

lol is this a joke, multiple file handling in vim is by far better

also if u wanna see autistic, install a mirror above ur monitor so you can see urself as you pay 70bux for a text editor :pwn:

# ¿ May 11, 2013 15:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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