terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

kill others then yourself

# ¿ May 7, 2013 20:33

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 11:43

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

op here's som code i wrote for you hth

Python code:

if programmer.needs('safe space'):
  programmer.threads.gas()
  programmer.permaban()
  programmer.kill()

# ¿ May 7, 2013 20:41

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

that is pretty cool smythe i like hacks and poo poo for games because it feels like you're breaking the rules of the /matrix/

# ¿ May 7, 2013 20:45

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Cold on a Cob posted:

i have two guys on my team that aren't programmers but who program things

had to teach one of them about source control today, like really basic stuff like "no you don't have to check one file in at a time"

getting to old for this poo poo sick of being a team lead

next job i'm just gonna pretend i'm autistic so they stop putting me in charge of people

hhah yeah 'pretend'

# ¿ May 7, 2013 21:53

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

hey man how'd ya get so good at pretending to be autistic

# ¿ May 7, 2013 21:53

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Socracheese posted:

imposter syndrome and i have it but its actually true

you don't have it because there's no way to diagnose it

# ¿ May 7, 2013 22:07

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Oldsmobile posted:

I am an arrogant, flesh eating dominant white male and I have gotten to where I am by stepping on the faces of losers!

saem

# ¿ May 7, 2013 22:13

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

hey shags if i wrote a java thing i wanted served on my vps what is the most lightweight, painless way for me to do that

# ¿ Mar 10, 2014 22:19

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

i want to write a command line app with brain dead argument processing, good json/yaml/sqlite support, brain dead html templating/escaping, and which is type safe and can compile to native binaries. also not golang. is there any language that fits this description or am i scroogled

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 17:53

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

well that's what i get for asking the terrible programmer thread

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 18:27

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

pram posted:

but that is what he should use instead of being a contrarian imbecile

it has literally nothing to do with being a contrarian and instead it has literally everything to do with the creator of the language's recommendation for who should use the language, that is, large teams with diverse levels of language experience and familiarity who need to hit the ground running in large codebases

a single person codebase is none of those things so there is no reason for me to use go, sorry bout your completely ineffectual cheerleading

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 20:23

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

pram posted:

lol go is simple, it doesnt require a large team? are u retarded

read->comprehend->post

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 20:29

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

pram posted:

i comprehend it. you seem to believe that go is structured in a way that it makes a single person programming in it completely impossible which means your perception is thoroughly retarded

wrong

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 20:32

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

fart simpson posted:

i did the first 15 or so eulers in rust and then started porting some other code into rust and im hooked too. i really like it

out of curiosity what do you like about it

triple sulk posted:

i used to be a ruby programmer and now i am a c# programmer and have a much lower desire to kill myself

i have a soft spot for ruby because rails made me care about web development but i haven't written anything in ruby in 5-6 years and my life is the better for it

# ¿ Jun 14, 2015 00:59

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Blinkz0rz posted:

lmao

when was this written? 2006? "HTML5". node js picking up steam!

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 18:24

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Janitor Prime posted:

Why does everyone forget Perl it's much better than bash

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 07:33

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Janitor Prime posted:

well yeah but my point is that why would you ever choose bash, even poo poo old *nix have perl

why would you ever choose perl

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 08:19

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

surebet posted:

my local market is 50-75$ for a junior dev and 100-150 for a senior on a contractual basis, dude bid 45

he still managed to rack up thousands in billables which i'll be going over because there's no loving way stuff like changing 100 pictures from 10mp to 640*480 should take 3 hours when you don't do any actual work on them

hell, if you're not completely retarded you just install this https://imageresizer.codeplex.com/

he somehow got control of the domain though so that's going to be pretty lol to resolve

why on god's green earth would you install "Image Resizer for Windows"

here

code:

$ for image in *.jpeg; do; convert "${image}" -resize 640x480 "resized/${image}"; done

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 21:34

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

imagemagick is proof that god loves us and that all image manipulations can be done on the command line

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 21:35

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

Dessert Rose posted:

none of those options lets me bill 3 hours tho

no, it just means you don't do 3 hours of work

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 21:55

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

eschaton posted:

it's also not hard to follow a few simple rules that will lead to always writing correct code

1. know if the platform you're working on imposes any major concurrency constraints, eg on OS X and iOS and many other platforms you must interact with the UI on the main thread

2. know the threading constraints for basic data structures on your platform, eg on OS X and iOS the basic immutable value classes and collections can be used on multiple threads safely and the basic mutable value classes must be protected from access by multiple threads

3. know the basic high-level concurrency constructs offered by your platform, eg threads, operations, queues, locks, semaphores, so you know how to do work in the background and actually protect shared resources from access by multiple threads

4. you probably don't need to use any low-level constructs yourself, leave that for the implementors of the high-level constructs. really. this includes atomic operations, barriers, volatile, etc.

5. look up everything else. always. never assume anything, ever, you will get it wrong.

these rules should apply on pretty much any platform you see

yeah man, concurrency isn't hard to learn, just avoid anything having to do with the hard parts of concurrency, and you'll be good at concurrency!

# ¿ Sep 6, 2015 00:09

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 11:43

Catalyst-proof: May 11, 2011; better waste some time with you

DaTroof posted:

Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move in a startup. I saw a gantt chart once when I was a freshman, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big drat hurry. The HR department got me into this halfway house called a "hacker hostel" and a job running automated tests. It's mind-numbing work and I try to keep up, but my head hurts most of the time. I don't think the QA manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the pit and pretend I'm drowning in balls. I keep thinking a developer might just show up and say hello, but they never do. I hope wherever they are, they're doin' okay and makin' cool apps. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm drowning in balls. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a virus and infect the network so they'd send me home. I could dox the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I have too much college debt for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being annoyed all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for a nondescript CJ like me. P.S: Tell Shaggar I'm sorry I made fun of Microsoft. No hard feelings.

jesus christ

# ¿ Sep 7, 2015 13:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars