terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

I'd rather work with the dumbest fucker on the planet who has a good, cheerful disposition than the smartest guy on the planet who knows it.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 02:12

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 19:31

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

lmao

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 02:14

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Shaggar posted:

I like developing solutions to real problems in the healthcare industry

As I understand it from posters here in YOSPOS, healthcare information management is actually a "solved problem" and "boring poo poo for old people." We need to apply those bright minds to solving war and world hunger!

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 02:15

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Symbolic Butt posted:

p sure by "posters here in YOSPOS" you actually mean one guy. it's probably Bloody

Bloody is too young and dumb to be taken seriously.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 02:30

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

fritz posted:

better either of those than dumbos who think they are hot poo poo

The smartest guy on the planet is actually a dumbo who thinks he's hot poo poo.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 02:59

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Symbolic Butt posted:

well I might be wrong then. I remember someone saying something like that, about cobol systems being boring poo poo for old people. who was that?

Bloody did say that but I think it was just a throwaway

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 04:54

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Stringent posted:

This is frequently, though certainly not always, a sign that you're passing stupid requirements to the developers. It is frequently unavoidable, I'm sure it's not your fault but please understand, you are why we drink.

As a developer, my job certainly isn't to second guess the BAs. My job is to give them exactly, precisely what they asked for, to the letter.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 04:56

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

this makes you a terrible developer

if it is the cultural norm at your firm, you are in deep poo poo and should seek new employment

The architects are paid to have an opinion. I'm not. Once they pay me to be an architect, I'll have an opinion.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 05:16

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

prefect posted:

managing the information is kinda-sorta mostly solved, isn't it? it seems like the hard part would be getting organizations to do the right processes, especially if they're new processes. or upgrades; nobody wants to upgrade

then again, that could probably describe most anything

People upgrading to the latest and the greatest is half the problem. People want to roll out the newest, fanciest, most complicated poo poo for simple problems because it looks good on their resume, but much of it can be a hindrance for simple processes.

A lot of money has been pissed away by "software engineers" talking about how cool it would be to do something <x> to solve <y> without asking if <x> is the most cost-effective and appropriate tool for the situation.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2014 14:20

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Xtremely-good Markup Language

# ¿ Jul 7, 2014 19:47

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

USSMICHELLEBACHMAN posted:

as an interloper in the terrible programmer thread the impetus is on you to explain why someone might be a bad programmer and help them out a little in a nice way. this kind of posting is contrary to the spirit of the thread

His emotionally-stunted baby is being raised by an iPad. lol

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 00:16

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Forums Terrorist posted:

why is tori here no one mentioned The City

I have to post in every thread. Thanks and god bless.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 00:25

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Don't smoke

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 01:28

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

lol, you're so mad at everything and everyone

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 01:55

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

I'm a happy, fun guy

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 01:57

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

theadder posted:

post the yosposters.xlsx lol

I don't have one. I just remember things. That's what your brain is optimized to do, remember things about people.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2014 02:09

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

BONGHITZ posted:

what about this hadoop thing? what is the best 'base?

Oracle. Give Larry your money.

Unlike whatever cheap garbage all the brokeass start-ups are using right now, it will be here today, tomorrow, and forever.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2014 12:44

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Squinty Applebottom posted:

sql is fine for what it is until you hit scaling issues and have to port your entire backend of a production app to something better

lol

MY SQL ISN'T SCALING! REDEPLOY TO PERL!

# ¿ Jul 15, 2014 12:46

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

it makes prototypes work properly, right? if you call [1, 2, 3].each() the method is found on Array.prototype but this will be the literal array

and non-var variables are actually properties on window so that's where that comes from

what i want to know is what happens if you do this:
JavaScript code:
window.a = "butts";
function obj() {
    this.a = 1
    this.make = function () {
        return function () {
            return this.a 
        }
    }
}

var o = new obj(); 
var g = o.make();
g()

I just prototyped one of your posts. It's in my toilet. lol

# ¿ Jul 16, 2014 02:04

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

no i'd really rather someone else do it

I'd rather someone else do your posts! haha

# ¿ Jul 16, 2014 03:32

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

pls keep your personal vendetta against me in pms and out of the threads thnx

Maybe you should try reading a book? lol

# ¿ Jul 18, 2014 23:37

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

the php is actually going ok and the retardedness on the server is mostly under control. but i have to add features to a jquery form thing with tables and inline css everywhere. it was written by an intern if that helps to understand the problem i'm facing. it's like the idiot child of 1995 and single page webapps

so

how do i make it sane. preferably doing as little work as possible

lol, someone must have given the server an iPad when it was a toddler.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2014 02:15

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

I keep emitting xml when I want JSON. I've decorated everything and edited my web config.

WCF doesn't like me today.

I'm stuck in a meeting the rest of the day.

Damnit.

Did you try fixing the joins? lol

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 20:04

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

I'm on my phone.

Also how am I the down kicker if my boss is being the butt

lmao

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 20:32

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

So I guess not being able to, from memory, recite the logorrhea that is decorating one's methods and the various tags and such for web.config while on the phone with everyone in the room yawning or actively mocking the person on the phone means I'm the worst dev in the universe? Even experienced people don't overlook specific settings? Really now?

Coffetable or jawn or whoever got mad when I saw a lazy sr dev, no accountability, and general sloppiness and took it upon himself to have a hate-boner for me because I haven't gotten enough years doing this to say "hey my workplace is lazy and does a lot of nothing." Because it's so uppity to say "hey let's use source control." I did more work in a week or two at my old job than I have here because the management isn't technical and the other dev is literally never here.

I guess it's not good form to say "hey what can cause X when I did Y and Z" without a full post of the source code doing Y and Z but the attitude problem here is a circular firing squad right now.

I thought this is supposed to be the help thread not the swordfight with out e-dicks thread.

But OK, fine.

I thought you were just Java but ok let's try some .NET

I tried decorating with WebInvoke setting the method, request format, response format, and uritemplate.

I also went through the litany of settings in webconfig.

Cherry on top:

My boss just sent a to-all email where the conf call I ditched ended with the person on the phone saying she'd just send us the notes she was reading from for the last two hours.

This job is melting my brain or something.

maybe you should try to fix the joins.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 21:06

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

What the gently caress are you on? There isn't anything wrong with any SQL anywhere. I'm getting valid output, but the JSON is wrapped in a single XML string, and it shouldn't be a huge pain in the rear end to say "just spit out my loving string."

The joins are clearly the problem. just fix them.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 21:10

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Have you fixed the joins yet?

also that's 2banks1swap, aka flux_core? lol

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 21:26

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

the joins probably need to be fixed, too.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 21:29

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Papes posted:

anyone fix the joins yet?

I don't think the joins have been fixed yet. Check back later.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 21:50

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

whats the use case for a clustered index, i've never run into a situation where seeks to fetch rows were a big part of execution time. table scans, big problem

They may or may not fix the joins.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 23:25

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

gently caress them posted:

I was assuming it was sarcasm and that this was just the green help thread, not the "come here for abuse when one merely wanted argument" thread.

If you just fixed the indexes, no one would abuse you

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 23:44

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Luigi Thirty posted:

i have only ever done this and web things which is why uis are stupid and confusing

don't sign your posts lmfao

# ¿ Sep 29, 2014 14:33

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

congratulations, you're using vim correctly

it's not meaningfully extensible. so don't extend it

extend this, pal

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....................,/�../
.................../..../
............./��/'...'/��`��
........../'/.../..../......./��\
........('(...�...�.... �~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.��
............\..............(
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# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 20:01

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

my stepdads beer posted:

my question is where is the great fault tolerant voip/sip server in erlang

I just saw 3/4ths of my coworkers get dumpstered in a move to "agile", so my question is why do we recreate the wheel every four years?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2015 06:32

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 19:31

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Here's a dumb and retarded question: What has object oriented programming given us over the past twenty years that we wouldn't have had without OOP?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2015 06:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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