Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Car Hater
May 7, 2007

wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!
We could have had bidets and wings but chose telescopes and a talking hammer instead

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...
Also, whatever you think of our decisions, your choice is wrong.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Outrail posted:

'These men want to take you away from me forever' and watch Snarls go reverse John Wick.

Snarls would do the doggy equivalent of "I'd like to see them try", and then come barreling back to us while dragging like half a dozen of their Mighty Men by the chains they were trying to hold him down with.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Car Hater posted:

We could have had coupled with the Great God but got the vapours from killing a gerbil so hard we dislocated our arm

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Diogines posted:

What you have done is a wild breach of the protocol and customs not only of your people but of your culture. Envoys and guests in foreign cities are expected to behave themselves, those who are highly Blooded even more so, so to display your power in such a way and actually threaten people with it is a terrible breach of protocol. Kore seems unhappy and Urgun shocked even if he does not say anything. Arba, son of Nun is almost certainly has a more worldly view than the rest of you and is more cynical, or maybe he is just being more cautious in his response as he is not as close to you as the others? Regardless you dismiss the packs of snarling dogs who are currently surrounding you and the slaves and turn to your escort. Without apologizing you say that you intend to try to negotiate for the release of these two slaves, and ask in a more neutral fashion if he can do something to prevent them from being punished until you have a chance to do so.


Overcome with emotion one of the slaves kisses your feet as he declares...

“Thank you My King! Thank you! Praise El, for he has delivered us into your hands!”


The dogs begin to disperse and seeing all of this occur you look across the crowd and now see a mixture of confusion and fear among them. Remalaiah leans over to one of those soldiers with him and whispers…


“Warn the Steward that they can take our dogs from us, his plan seems impossible, they are more Blooded than we thought.” The other soldier nods and then runs off.


You are lead through the city until you reach the palace.





The gates of the palace are flanked by two giant statues of a dog. Eventually you are lead into the palace itself and before meeting with the Steward, the man who communicates the will of Yeledtov to the city, you were asked to hand over your weapons when you entered the palace, which the four of you did. On a practical basis Kore and Urgun could both probably fight their way out of here on their own if they had to and you certainly could. In throne room you see another very large statue of a dog, resting on its paws, between which is a very, very large cushion in front of which is a very, very large bowl and off to the side of the cushion is a very fancy chair which looks like a throne. You see a very large door beside the throne, actually you have seen a number of very large doors on your way through the palace. You are used to seeing doorways and ceilings larger or taller than men actually use in many cities, remnants of older construction when men were taller, the doorway at the back of the room is much larger than any man would ever strictly speaking need, almost twenty feet high and almost the same wide.

You can hear men in some adjacent chambers. Based on the noises you can hear there are almost certainly many hundreds of armed men in the rooms next to you, they are trying to be quiet but with your hearing they are failing to do so. In the human-sized chair beside the enormous cushion is the man you will soon come to learn is Zabdi, son of Kedar, the Steward of Yeledtov and if not king of the city, then human voice of Yeledtov.




1. Some time later each of those people who accompanied you to Yeledtov would in private tell their wives of what occurred… what did each women hear? Or what did you otherwise do? Events will probably play out roughly as described but with events yet to occur and the whims of chance, they could turn out differently...



Perhaps Urgun, son of Danal later told his wife how “Uncle has always been softhearted among us and I suppose I have seen him fight but that does not inspire dread for he is fighting for us, but El-Preserve he can be menacing if he wishes to be. He said he owed no apology for his actions and it was the Steward and his people who should beg an apology from him, for he knew of the trap which had been laid for us. Uncle did not tell us then of course but he told us later, those dog-humpers had deceived us from the start! Uncle told us later that along the way a slave* had slipped him a note warning him that the plan from the beginning was to separate Snarls from us, claim that Snarls wanted to stay and refuse to let him leave! Madness, utter madness. Can you imagine such lunacy? As if simply SEEING Uncle should not have immediately changed their mind upon such a plan? And it might have, I suppose it probably did and if not then his command of their dogs? So then Uncle said to their “Steward”…



A. “...that he had come to free his countrymen and that they had no right to give our people, well the Armanumians, a choice between slavery and starvation and that all of the Armanumians would be leave with us. Or else. Word has spread quickly since we came home and many of the Armanumians rejoice to see their kinsmen again, some of our own seem unhappy to bring even more of the unblooded here and the Mighty Men are upset, but when are they ever happy?”



B. “...that they had made a poor choice, that when they were strong they chose to prey upon the weak and had made a poorer choice still to invite a man as a guest and plot to betray him and in doing so sinned again El as readily as when they broke the Jubilee. But that they might still have a chance to make wiser choices, to set free the Armamunians and perhaps we might become friends, or at least not part as enemies. There were many happy reunions among the Armanumians after, though some of our people seem less than pleased and the Mighty Men are grumbling, but they are always grumbling about something.”


*In fact you received no such note. But between your incredible hearing and other senses as well as your Abilities you swiftly obtained enough clues to put together the plot, or enough evidence for what you THINK the plot was? Though it appears to have been ended when they realized how powerful you were?





Perhaps, Arba, son of Nun, one of the Golden Sandals later told his wife how...



C. “The Magistrate can be quite the charmer when he wants to be. Things generally went quite well. It was a bit tense at first but the Magistrate laid on the charm and they spoke of how trade might occur and the topic of coordinating watches for the Bnaimokt was even discussed, though nothing was formalized. I understand that many of the Armanumians are upset he did not demand the release of their enslaved kinsmen but we just saved their annihilation, they should be more grateful, how quick they are to forget they were on the verge on starvation before we came?”



D. “The Magistrate haggled and bought the freedom of the Armanumian slaves. He got a pretty good deal, or at least I think he did anyone. Some of the Armanumians are grumbling that he should have simply taken them, talk about looking a gift-ox in the mouth? Still, most seemed pretty happy to be reunited with their families. Though some of our people don’t exactly seem thrilled at buying slaves or bringing even MORE foreigners to our city. They discussed trade in the future but nothing was agreed to with certainty, at least not yet.”




E. Perhaps Kore, Son of Judah, one of the Mighty Men of Zepath and nominally one of your supporters later told his wife how “El preserve my brothers are outraged but the rest of the city seems more split, some are pleased, the Armanumians are thrilled but everyone else… well I suppose it depends? We arrived and spoke with their Steward and the King told them that the time for petty squabbles had ended, that all of the children of Labaras must make common cause against our true foes, the Bnaimokt and other demons who are nearly at the door. He demanded that Yeledtov stop raiding other cities, coordinate with us on reporting Bnaimokt raiders, or else. And when their steward gripped his sword and asked “Or else what?” the King said that even now our people are butchering bandits across the land and we would return to our home, peaceably, for now, to consider carefully if Yeledtov was another den of bandits and slavers or partners in the struggle against demons. Though that he may well simply give them as a gift to to his good friend Lahmi, King of Kelashin who happily gobble up Yeledtov if they thought it could be done without earning his ire.”

F. E. “...and also he demanded the release of the enslaved Armanumians.”
G. E. “...and also he tried to buy the enslaved Armanumians.”

The above options are an attempt to speed things up by giving you a rough idea of roughly what you did and how people might feel about it and possible outcomes. Nothing is set in stone. For any of the options above we might pick up with an immediate response from the Steward of Yeledtov, Zabdi, son of Kedar, or maybe you’ll meet Yeledtov, or maybe you’ll just leave? We do not know yet. We are trying to speed things up a bit and this seemed a good way to speed things up. If you want to speak to Zabdi or anyone who came with you, you can. Normal rules apply. If you are unhappy with doing it in this way, we appreciate that and we apologize, we can’t both speed things up (which seems like something the overwhelming majority of people wanted to do?) and also go very slow, the two are mutually exclusive. This is not a permanent thing, we are just speeding things up a bit now.


H. You refused to talk with the Steward and insisted that you must have an audience with their king, which is to say, Yeledtov, after all Snarls was invited for an audience with them, not with their Steward? If this request was granted or not…

Not picking this option does not mean that you will not necessarily meet Yeledtov, we would need to see what happens with the other options, you might possibly see Yeledtov afterwards with many of them, or not? This option is simply refusing to talk to the Steward.


I. Be polite and ask for a tour of the palace. Sniff around and use your senses and Abilities to look for anything strange.


J. You exchanged faint pleasantries and niceties and neither asked for nor offered anything, you are polite and then when your time with the Steward is done ask for Snarls to meet with Yeledtov, that is why all of you are here after all, to accept Snarls’s invitation?



As all of these events occur Snarls sniffs around a bit and then plops down and eats some of the treats the Yeledtovans prepare for him. He then gnaws on a bone and seems generally disinterred in the conversation.


K. You revealed your knowledge of their deranged plot and told them that you hope the TRUE king of Yeledtov would punish their evil deeds accordingly which is why you are going to go talk to them, now and reveal the vile villainy of and treasonous treachery their perfidious steward! Make for the giant door which probably leads towards Yeledtov, and don't kill anyone, but don't let them stop you.

L. Something else. What? Fill in.





...and things went reasonably well with Zabdi, son of Kedar. You might have exposed their plot, you might have threatened them, you might have attacked them, with your far greater power you may well have done any of those things, but you did not. Instead you spoke with them for a time on matters of trade and negotiated a price to buy the Armanumian slaves still held in the city. Arba son of Nun is not a slave trader, his experience is rather the opposite actually but according to him in that, while he has not admitted it, being a longstanding member of the Golden Sandals he has probably killed a slaver here and there over the years even if it was not his true mission at the time, but he said to you...


“As you surely know Magistrate the price of slaves skyrockets after the Jubilee when they are suddenly in short supply and great demand. You got an excellent deal for them.”

Zabdi said he would sell you the slaves so cheaply…


“As a sign of respect for the Great Hunter Snarls and for his Companion, the King of Zepath, that we may together hunt the Bnaimokt and our other foes in the years ahead.”

They wanted Blooded Bronze and High Silver weapons. You haggled for some gold and silver now and a supply of high-silver tools to be paid out over a number of years, you didn’t want to give the Aggressive War Mongering Raiders weapons. You spoke of matters of trade for a time but did not promise anything.




After speaking with him for a time the impression you likely had of Zabdi was a blunt man with little patience for excessive pageantry or formality. He was not overly rude but probably kissed your rear end less than you are used to when dealing with men from the Doughnut in that he barely did so at all? When the meeting was finished Snarls was invited to meet with Yeledtov… an invitation not extended to you. Until Snarls barked, which you translated to explain that Snarls would only meet with Yeledtov if you went with him as well, for you were as dear to Snarls as his own heart. You are lead away through several doors to a chamber deeper in the palace, past tapestries and statues of dogs, past soldiers and their dog companions until you find yourself before a very, very large door. Guarding the door are soldiers in armor different than the others you have seen before, the soldiers are wearing high quality bronze armor and they are Blooded. Not Blooded by the standards of the locals, actually Blooded, though their armor gives no obvious mark or emblem as a hint of their origin. With them is an elderly looking priest who talks quietly to the soldiers and sends them away, they look skeptically at the man, and at you but they obey and walk down the hallway from which you just came. The soldiers are definitely human…





...but the old man they just spoke with is not. The old man smiles softly as you and Snarls approach, he raises a hand to rub Snarls’s head and says...


“My goodness, aren't you just precious?” Snarls wags his tail and gives a small, happy bark. The man still petting Snarls then looks to you and says “It is a pleasure to meet you Enkidel. Do not mind me, I am not here with any special instructions for you, I am not here for you at all actually. I just… keep an eye on them.” He raises a hand and gestures towards the large door behind him. “But I thought I would offer a word while I was here, just a word of advice. It is probably for the best that they are not widely seen by men, though make of the words of an old man as you will. I am only here to watch, nothing more.”

You open the door and see… El-goodness. People have to look up at YOU a lot when talking, you rarely have to look up at anyone or anything. From the bottom of its paws to the top of its shoulder the creature is probably twice your height, over twenty feet tall to the top of its head. The creature looks like a dog and they look old, very old. They are resting upon a large cushion in a very large chamber with a large enclosed courtyard beside it, large silver bowls of food and water. And…













































...and they appear to be sleeping. Snarls sniffs a few times.






Very big! And very old.





1. What would you like to do? For now, there are no no written options.








[...]

Discord Link if you want to join us to chat: https://discord.gg/w4az9EGt

The channel is CannibalKingofZepath.

If by the time you try the link it has expired, please message me for a new one, or post in the thread asking! Discord has them expire periodically for reasons beyond our control and indeed, beyond the understanding of mere mortal men.

[...]

Travic's Awesome Index: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3550307&pagenumber=4080&perpage=40#post473373440

Diogines fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Apr 24, 2024

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Very big! And old!!

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer
Lay the blanket on him :)

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
Obviously we pull out some sausages that we brought along and offer them to the giant dog. We know what Snarls likes, we wouldn't show up to meet a giant dog without sausages.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


DID WE BRING TREATS???

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

DID WE BRING TREATS???
You were given some for Snarls and still have some, but no. You brought a Very Nice Blanket with a picture of Snarls on it.

It is not big enough to fully cover the very large creature before you.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Produce sausages, but otherwise let Snarls take the wheel until we are acknowledged.

E: No sausages :(

pumpinglemma
Apr 28, 2009

DD: Fondly regard abomination.

Ask the melachim harmless old man: Is this a normal sleep, or have they been like this for millenia?

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
BIG DOG

SNARLS SAY HELLO


god i hope he is aware enough to consent to some petting

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Do the Old Tales mention any dog companions of the great men of old?

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
Were the guards more Blooded than the King?

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Diogines posted:

You were given some for Snarls and still have some, but no. You brought a Very Nice Blanket with a picture of Snarls on it.

It is not big enough to fully cover the very large creature before you.

NPCenkidel, you have failed us utterly.

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(

Diogines posted:

“It is a pleasure to meet you Enkidel. Do not mind me, I am not here with any special instructions for you, I am not here for you at all actually. I just… keep an eye on them.” He raises a hand and gestures towards the large door behind him.

Diog, you delivered on BIG DOG, but that "THEM" made me hopeful for BIG PUPPIES. Now i'm sort of disappointed and sad.

Have Melachims been referred to by male/female pronouns before? Just trying to suss out if this is a Divine Being on its own, or just a Companion like the Orm and that's why this angel said "them".

Zodiac5000
Jun 19, 2006

Protects the Pack!

Doctor Rope
Melachim do use male/female pronouns, all the time. Smythos is Male, Marnal is female, etc.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Can we chat with the Melachim Watcher at all?

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
Snarls, how does this nice man smell?

Could you smell him before?

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Do we sense/see any sarchophaguses holding divine beings a-la amok in the immediate area, or hints thereof?

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
Yeledtov's POV in a few minutes


Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

pumpinglemma posted:

Ask the melachim harmless old man: Is this a normal sleep, or have they been like this for millenia?
When you open the door... they are gone!

But that is only because you see them slowly walking down the hallway. They did not mysteriously disappear or anything the moment you looked away. You jog over to them and ask as they sit down on a stool at the end of the hallway.



"I am only here to watch."


McSpanky posted:

Do the Old Tales mention any dog companions of the great men of old?
Yes. A number of stories in the Old Tales reference great beasts that men tamed, or made through some ambiguous manner which is not really described, but they are mostly gone from the world now. You met one such creature (though not this enormous), a lion in Baitel years ago.


Mr. Nemo posted:

Were the guards more Blooded than the King?
Definitely.

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

Can we chat with the Melachim Watcher at all?
They don't seem unfriendly but also don't seem very talkative? You can certainly try if you like.

Mr. Nemo posted:

Snarls, how does this nice man smell?

Good-Smeller!

Mr. Nemo posted:

Could you smell him before?

No.

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

Do we sense/see any sarchophaguses holding divine beings a-la amok in the immediate area, or hints thereof?
There are no obvious such containers, unless it is hidden under the cushion or something?

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


OK here's the plan thread: we're gonna sperm jack the big dog and breed an upgraded version of watches-the-fuzzies that can better communicate with Snarls on an emotional level.

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Let the Melachim know that if the city ever needs to rehome the dog, because, say its about to be attacked by a giant army of ocean demons, he can come to Zepath

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Interesting. They have a Watcher.

HBar
Sep 13, 2007

Try to let Yeledtov get a very close sniff of both us and Snarls, the good-smells might rouse them from their slumber.

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Uh, is the big dog a, uh, male or a female? Can we wake it/ them up?

pablo gbscobar
Nov 24, 2007

oh shit i got the snype

:wom:
Lipstick Apathy
Try and communicate telepathically with the dog to wake it.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
Voting we let Snarls handle most interactions with Yeledtov (with some nudging by Enkidel) until the Big Dog indicates it's okay for us to approach or talk. Find out more info; history, current affairs, what do King Dogs do?

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
EAT THE OLD MAN, OFFER SOME TO THE (OTHER) GOOD BOY AND (OUR) GOOD BOY

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

OK here's the plan thread: we're gonna sperm jack the big dog and breed an upgraded version of watches-the-fuzzies that can better communicate with Snarls on an emotional level.

Jael: :mildpanic:

Polgas
Sep 2, 2018


With one hand he saves gebs. With the other he commits goblin genocide. A true neutral.

Team up with Snarls to give the big dog some good rubs.

Da_Boyz
Jul 4, 2021
Look if Snarls really is part of us then the Melachim have been watching us commit bestiality for over a century without complaint. This is small peanuts in comparison to that.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


Da_Boyz posted:

Look if Snarls really is part of us then the Melachim have been watching us commit bestiality for over a century without complaint. This is small peanuts in comparison to that.

Given what we know of the nature of our parantage and our peers/the history of when people akin to us roamed the world in numbers, i'm not entirely sure they'd all be put off by it

FlocksOfMice
Feb 3, 2009
I mean, it's no more bestiality than it is when Enkidel couples with Naomi. The Snarls incarnation is a dog, the Enkidel incarnation is a human. It's a good thing we've lost ourselves in our roles as a human and a dog so much we still have those kinds of interactions with other humans and dogs, respectively! It seems like the kind of thing we start losing if our MCI starts tanking and our connection to mortal concerns grows weaker.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer

A Terrible Person posted:

Voting we let Snarls handle most interactions with Yeledtov (with some nudging by Enkidel) until the Big Dog indicates it's okay for us to approach or talk. Find out more info; history, current affairs, what do King Dogs do?

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Diogines posted:




...and things went reasonably well with Zabdi, son of Kedar. You might have exposed their plot, you might have threatened them, you might have attacked them, with your far greater power you may well have done any of those things, but you did not. Instead you spoke with them for a time on matters of trade and negotiated a price to buy the Armanumian slaves still held in the city.

We did what? I'm sorry, am I completely off base? Glancing back through the last few pages, it looks like the overwhelming majority was for B, J+B, or maybe just J - I haven't done a real count in the last minute, but I don't think I saw a single vote for C or D, which is what this update looks like.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

How ‘old’ did the city itself appear?

Could we have asked anyone (The King, or our escorts on the trip over) what their founder/founding story is?

Willing to assume that Wurukatte was a contemporary, or Zepa-esque, being who was also convinced to turn away from the world in exchange for what he cared for being looked after?

Old man

What level priest is he dressed as?

What’s your name?

Are you a Grigori/Watcher if this city? (Domain: Melachim—-Is he?)

This is Wurukattes companion I presume?

Am I allowed to know there his spot-that-makes-the-leg-kick is?

Are you actually part of this cities clergy?

Domain: Natural Order—*What* exactly is this being in front of us? - a (anciently blooded) ‘natural’ dog, or a supernatural being

Which cities Gibborim could these guards be compared to?

Domain: Blood (synergy Domain: Natural Order)—are they ‘naturally’ Blooded?- ie of a Blooded lineage no different than any other Urian Gibborim vs having been modified so their in order to become or stay this Blooded?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FlocksOfMice
Feb 3, 2009

Theglavwen posted:

We did what? I'm sorry, am I completely off base? Glancing back through the last few pages, it looks like the overwhelming majority was for B, J+B, or maybe just J - I haven't done a real count in the last minute, but I don't think I saw a single vote for C or D, which is what this update looks like.

Yeah huh I'm confused too, what was the voting spread? It looks like nearly everything was B or J+B

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply