There's Very Little Meat in These Gym Mats: The Restaurant Industry Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > There's Very Little Meat in These Gym Mats: The Restaurant Industry Thread

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Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I just started working FOH at a new gig and I met a cook who was talking up Kitchen Confidential and how that was totally the life everyone lived and it was pretty hard to not laugh out loud while I was doing roll-ups.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2013 10:19

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 05:14

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Invisible Ted posted:

I can tell when I work too much when I mean to say thanks while getting off the bus, but I just yell "Behind!" to nobody in particular instead.

Sometimes I just say "Enjoy" to people, irrespective of whatever it is I just handed them.

Yes I work as a server how could you tell.

edit: On long days I sometimes tell people to "Enjoy" the check I just handed them.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2013 08:52

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Wroughtirony posted:

Kenning, do you ever get into polite-offs when you're out and about? Like, you and the cashier keeps saying the same things to each other at the same time, and leaving is difficult because you're both trying to get the last "thanks so much, have a great afternoon!"?

I've been known to say "Thanks so much" when I hand the checkout person at the grocery store some cash.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2013 20:11

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Honestly I don't know how one could not get a job FOH in 3 weeks of trying. I guess your market may be different, but if you apply to 10 or 15 joints, follow up once a week, and look super perky, you can't avoid getting a stage. Even some vague experience can work. You just gotta show up.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2013 11:32

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

mindphlux posted:

Chicago is iffy 1/2. I was really impressed by what I saw a lot of the time, and really unimpressed by what I saw a lot of the time. A solid 2 at least though.

Atlanta is clawing it's way up, but it's really just a 3 at the moment. there is a really awesome food scene centered around southern foodways, but it's kind of one note. fun things do happen, and our number of famous people and outstanding restaurants are increasing, but the majority of the city just wants to eat loving 12 dollar fancy burgers.

Austin I'd definitely put on the tier 3 list, good things happen in Austin.

I've never been to LA or SF - are they really tier 1?

San Francisco certainly is, it's just a shade shy of New York, and most of that is probably the fact that it's a smaller city. I sort of doubt LA is first tier � it just doesn't have that feel to it.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2013 10:54

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Take 2/3 of every set of tips you take home and put them in a jar in your room. That way you have some cash to toss around, but you end up saving enough for next month's rent.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 21:50

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

JERFit posted:

The tenderloin is hardly the worst part of town. You'll be fine.

I know we've had this conversation a few times, but its new shoes time so anybody have recommendations for good waiter shoes? Non-slip, comfy, 'leather', nice enough to wear for the occasional catering 'formal' event.
Seen those shoes for crews, they seem nice enough and pretty cheap. Anybody have experience with them?

I have a pair of Dansko Walkers that have treated me very well over the last year. They look pretty nice, and feel amazing once they're broken in. They should be a little tight over the top of the ankle at first.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2013 23:29

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Tonight I had a man who looked a bit like Mitt Romney ask me to bring the table 6 "Surfers on Acid" shots, and if we couldn't make that, 6 shots of chilled Patron. We are an upscale pan-American restaurant. A Surfer on Acid is Jager, coconut rum, and pineapple juice. We don't stock Jager or coconut rum. This is after they sent back 2 bottles of Malbec for "not tasting right."

I brought 6 chilled shots of Siete Leguas repo, and they ended up giving me one because one of their party had left. It was a weird night.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2013 10:19

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Obviously.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2013 07:35

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Plus, when was the last time a restaurant gave a gently caress about labor law.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 09:10

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I'm pretty sure even if a restaurant has such a form it in fact offers them very little protection against civil or criminal liability. At least in California.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2013 18:50

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I don't understand how restaurants are viable businesses, honestly. I would sooner invest in a Broadway show than a restaurant.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 04:49

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

So I twisted the gently caress out of my ankle last night (not at work, unfortunately) but I don't think I'll be able to serve for a little while. Anybody have experience with sort of stop-gap income programs like temporary disability or whatever? This sucks.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2013 20:55

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

So my roommate works as a server at the restaurant I left about 6 months ago. Last night he hosed another server, in the bathroom, on the clock, shortly after the rush broke.

I'm not sure if there's any meaningful takeaway from this story.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2013 21:16

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

To be fair he had someone watching his section.

CdC I thought you liked your restaurant gig?

# ¿ Nov 10, 2013 03:46

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

It was fuckin' nuts tonight. I sold $2400, loving killed it.

Working in a restaurant is like being in an abusive relationship. Every time it's lovely I'm like "gently caress this, I'm sick of all this bullshit" but then when you have a good night it's like, "Hey, this is pretty cool." But the bullshit never goes away. Alas.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2013 11:13

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

We got loving hit tonight. Huge Christmas Eve. No one was expecting that. Probably did like 15k-18k in sales at dinner. I'm so tired.

Merry Christmas everybody.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2013 11:07

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Vegetable Melange posted:

Did Santa leave shots? Like, a lot of them?

There was Fernet Branca and Jameson lined up in a row at the bar. A Christmas miracle!

# ¿ Dec 25, 2013 20:58

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

We've got 300 on the books for tonight. That's a slow Friday night in July or a solid one in October. Our last rezzo is 10:30. We're doing offering a 4 course mar y tierra menu with complimentary sparkling wine.

It's going to be a happy new year.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2013 20:55

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I got my poo poo rocked tonight. But the GM poured the staff out a toast of the Roederer Estate L'Ermitage 2002 from a magnum he sabered at midnight. That was some incredible wine.

I also gave each of the dishwashers $20. Gotta take care of your dishwashers, especially when there's a 4-top still sitting around at 1 am.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2014 13:15

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Wroughtirony posted:

If you're a chump, it's also the #1 way to make sure you never get promoted out of the dishpit. Good dishwashers who show up on time and work hard and don't require endless supervision are like unicorns that poo poo gold, and managers won't want to replace them in the pit. Often, you have to show your willingness to quit and go somewhere else to get that promotion to prep cook.

This is true of moving up from any lovely position to any less lovely position. No host or foodrunner ever got to be a server without being willing to walk.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2014 21:09

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

bowmore posted:

As you would have guessed we were not very busy today!

The transition from the build-up to NYE and all that craziness to this loving 2 or 3 week graveyard is gonna be rough. A slow restaurant is one of the most bleak places I can think of.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2014 09:22

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Hahahah that sounds like it's gonna be a fun gig.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2014 19:23

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Let's not get all anxious to make fun of dude for working in fast food rather than restaurant dining. It's all poo poo, we're all undervalued and underpaid, and we're all working really hard to make money for an rear end in a top hat who doesn't give a gently caress about us.

Amen.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2014 00:41

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

That reminds me it's time to call in for my on-call shift to see if I put my day on hold for any reason or not.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2014 00:42

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Vegetable Melange posted:

This is the worst thing. Two busy summer weekends hit, an inexperienced manager says "oh, I'll leave x and z 'on call' in case we experience too much volume". Bullshit. Staff according to anticipated demand, anticipate demand using last years numbers (where applicable), and have a better pressure relief than a confused looking hostess and a manager who ends up running food anyway. Pro tip: if you have enough unused cap on a given late week night to have a swing/call sever, you have dead space.

Yeah. It's bullshit, and probably illegal. I've been doing a bit of research into national/California law around on-call employment and I think I can make the case that they need to pay me my two hours even if they don't call me in. I bet that would alter calculations a bit.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2014 04:50

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Liquid Communism posted:

If you like your chef who's gone, just quietly find another gig, and get in touch once he's back and let him know it was a pleasure working with him and that had things worked out otherwise, you'd have liked to continue doing so.

Never burn bridges. This is a small industry, and you don't realize how small until you go to a tasting event and see that four of the six places that showed up have someone you know cooking for them.

You probably make at least double what we poor bastards in the States do, and get time off. Tweek was just bitching about 'only two weeks off in a year', for comparison I took two days off last year, and I work six overnights a week with a total of 3 days closed for holidays.

Edit : Yeah, just checked the numbers.

Aus quotes average salary for bakers at $53k AUD, as compared to average US salary of $23k.

poo poo, I should migrate.

Keep in mind though that the cost of living in Australia is significantly higher than in the States. If you want a sense of it, check out what they pay for booze. They make more than you, but nowhere near twice as much. They do have a social safety net and like, humane labor laws though, so there's that.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 19:17

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

tomkash posted:

Yeah I've always thought you Americans were insane for putting up with that. Our booze is very expensive and ciggarettes even more but our minimum wage is quite good. All the labour laws and high minimum wage laws here made me think they'd have a harder time pulling illegal poo poo, however I'm paid atleast $4 less than minimum wage and $6 less than the average wage for this kind of work (as a casual) because I illegally work 16 hours overtime. If I contacted fairwork they'd be in deep deep poo poo but of course with this industry that will put a big black mark over my head for the rest of my career. Still incredibly lucky that six dollars an hour isn't actually my wage, the US scares the poo poo out of me between the massive wage disparity and the lack of healthcare.

No bridges are being burned with any chefs, I've put in my two weeks and they'll be my references as the managers don't actually know what I do anyway. Just for reference a bottle of spirits costs $40 here usually as a minimum, same with a case of beer. Drinking daily for us means drinking box wine haha.

Eh, the Australian minimum wage is good (one of the best in the world, actually), but not some huge amazing thing in terms of purchasing power parity, as this map demonstrates:

The main difference is healthcare and social safety stuff like unemployment and sick days and maternity leave and whatever. That's the poo poo that ends up really loving over industry people here when their legs give out or w/e.

Also: every time you work illegal overtime you're betraying your fellow worker and depressing wages. poo poo drives me crazy. Don't let owners trick managers into tricking you into loving yourself.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 09:20

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

You don't want that promotion.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 02:36

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Sounds like a fun gig. That debit card poo poo is super hosed too, it's like a hop-skip-and-a-jump away from being paid in company scrip.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2014 06:24

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Liquid Communism posted:

What the gently caress do they teach these loving people in culinary school these days?

I spent fifteen minutes trying to get my hand to stop I'm going to the Bay Area Carnivorous Plant Society meeting tomorrow at the SF Conservatory of Flowers. My roommate is gonna get super high and come with me. I'm excited! I hope I can pick up some cool sundews and get advice on helping along my seedlings. Anybody here gonna be there? I remember someone mentioning BACPS earlier in the thread. tonight at work. Ended up resorting to just walking around swearing with it elevated and under pressure, and then supergluing a skin flap down on my knuckle. How'd I cut it?

Our newest baker, who just finished her degree at Johnson & Wales in CO, apparently doesn't have the sense god gave little green apples. Not only did she decide to use one of the store's paring knives to open loving boxes of butter, she left that cocksucker in the fridge. So of course, when I go digging for the blood orange curd I made yesterday for today's danishes, I found it. With the back of my hand to the sharp side.

I wish to do murder right now.

That's pretty hilarious/idiotic.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 19:31

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I don't usually use the quote button, unless I wind up on the top of a page and the post I'm responding to isn't visible directly above my own post. Then I go back and edit in the quote to which I am responding.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 06:58

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I've finally given up on maintaining nice knives while I live with roommates. When I have my own place I'll go out and buy a few nice knives and keep them neat and razor sharp. Until then I'll just have to sadly remove them from the sink and grimace when I find them point down in the silverware rack. Thank God for Victorinox.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 09:28

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Fuzzy Pipe Wrench posted:

Just looking for a bit of validation here. I've turned down jobs at my 2 favorite hangouts for the 2nd time today because I enjoy them too much as a customer. They're both really excellent places to work that both are near the top of their respective games for this city and having astoundingly good business.

I'm not being too stupid am I?

It depends on how acceptable your current position is. If you were looking to bail, or were out of work, I would totally go to your hangouts and get a job. But if your current gig is reasonable, I personally wouldn't jump ship to work at a hangout spot. There are only so many excellent spots to be a regular, and an almost infinite number of lovely-to-acceptable places to work.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 06:28

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I have bad serving dreams on occasion. Just circling my section, brain too foggy to figure out what's going on, tables getting up and leaving because I've left them sitting too long.

The last time that dream happened it had been going on for a while and then I felt another part of my brain be like "What the gently caress is this, wake the gently caress up" and then I woke up.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 04:03

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Jesus bro

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 08:19

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

It's easy to tell who has a genuine, serious case of Celiac's disease because they're always very polite and thorough about their needs, and are friendly and grateful when we help them have a nice meal.

In other news, my restaurant has been way over-staffed for months. I know it's the slow season, etc. etc. but I can't live off of 2-3 shifts a week. Guess it's time to update the resume again.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 22:17

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Me too! But only in the bedroom! (Cause I am pathetically single).

Is it bad that everyone who I talk to asks me why I am not/ no longer a chef?

Practice your thousand yard stare.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2014 10:44

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Wroughtirony posted:

That was way funnier than it had any right to be.

Yeah I was pretty impressed too.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 23:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 05:14

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Your employer is still obligated to pay you overtime, even if you're salaried, unless your primary duty is managing other employees, rather than producing a product or performing a service. I know restaurants have gotten good at convincing people salary = no overtime ever again, but it's a lie.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2014 03:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > There's Very Little Meat in These Gym Mats: The Restaurant Industry Thread

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