Let's Read Xanth (You Were Stupid As A Teen, Too)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Let's Read Xanth (You Were Stupid As A Teen, Too)

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

True facts y'all: Night Mare was one of my favorite books as a child, Mare Imbri was one of my favorite characters, and I was so excited when I realized she was going to return in this book.

Ha. Haha.

HA.

:shepface:

# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 23:55

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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:36

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

quote:

Imbri sent a dreamlet of two lovely nymphs, one fair and one dark, tugging a reluctant faun toward a love spring. His hoofs were leaving drag-marks in the soil. The mare was evidently enjoying the way the twins constantly put him on the defensive. Both girls laughed, appreciating the apt image.

Hahaha rape.

:smithfrog:

Hahh

# ¿ Jan 17, 2014 15:16

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Oh, so much to say about these chapters, but maybe I should just keep it simple and stick with something like "Why should an underage girl even have to go as far as to seek help from a Magician to keep from being assaulted if the Adult Conspiracy is supposed to be so ironclad and powerful in the first place?"

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 08:02

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

JackMann posted:

The implication seems to be that the Adult Conspiracy only protects them from consensual sex.

There are more layers of wrong than a rotten hen battery.

At the risk of, y'know, actually analyzing this worthless drivel in any way, I've always gotten the impression that Anthony intended the Adult Conspiracy to be a sort of farcical send-up of how unhelpfully uptight and prudish adults are about child sexuality. So in a sense it's ultimately unsurprising that this system doesn't truly protect children, and that mouthpiece-Breanna would be lambasting it here.

Which would be kind of a fascinating issue to explore in a series of any competency. But Anthony just seems to be more interested in describing child sexuality in loving detail than he is in seriously examining his so-called idyllic world for the flagrant rape culture that it is. A Phillip Pullman, he ain't.

And that's not even considering how this specific book ends because, oh boy.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 06:15

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

What is there even to say

Y'know, I distinctly remember thinking as a youngin' that Faun & Games was grosser than this book, which mostly just felt boring, but after seeing these passages again I may have to reassess that opinion.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 04:08

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

How worried should we be that the path to Xanth is by chatting up a hot teenager online?

# ¿ Mar 9, 2014 22:18

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Fantasy characters who don't understand cars, much less believe that cars are living things, is one of my biggest drat pet peeves in the world. Because in fantasy worlds we evidently don't have objects that carry other objects like carts or wagons or ships! Sadly, Anthony is hardly the only writer who does this.

He is the only one who pulls this sort of contrived shite, though:

quote:

"Because you can't use a self-cleaning spell in Mundania. You have to take a bath or shower or equivalent."

"Thank you." Chlorine understood the principle of a bath, though she preferred to swim in a magic cleansing pool.

Do you just mean...a pool? How is that not the same exact thing? I mean I know it's a tad more abstruse than that, but only in Xanth would you be lazy enough to have magical water that does the same thing that regular water does. Next you'll tell us that y'all have magic fireplaces that keep you warm.
:psyduck:

# ¿ Mar 11, 2014 09:27

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Godspeed, brave one. Stare not into the abyss for it stares back.

Nihilarian posted:

Thanks Pia/Piers, it's good to know you think women exist to be sex objects for men.

Did Edsel literally just mention at the beginning of this chapter that the only reason he still loved Pia was for the sex?

# ¿ Mar 13, 2014 23:19

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Robindaybird posted:

a long boring diabtre on MU* and of course everyone's okay with the straight jacket.

It's amazing how loving bland his writing is when it isn't drowning you in creep

I know it probably gets said too often about Piers Anthony but it has to be said again: you ain't seen nothing yet. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

The iceberg has, in fact, many tips.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2014 04:07

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Piers Anthony posted:

She was a cute kid, and nicely formed.

Sentences that should never exist, brought to you by one Mr. Piers An-

Piers Anthony posted:

She had a very white smile in the subdued light of the illusion castle.

OH MY GOD

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 22:44

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

quote:

"The Siren is seventeen years old at this stage," Justin remarked. "She has a teenaged figure."

"That's the best kind," Breanna said.

"Indubitably."

Indubitably.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2014 23:09

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

Also, the internet was pretty threadbare back then so there wasn't any sort of forum -- figuratively and literally -- where you could go and actually discuss this sort of thing with other readers. Even if you were an adult reading these books, who would you even complain to about it? The police? For most readers, old or young, Xanth was just the quirky fantasy books that had a bunch of sex in them, not exactly the sort of thing that comes up in casual conversation.

Child sexuality isn't even a particularly uncommon theme in fantasy or sci-fi; a lot of stories have historically skated by that sort of thing by affecting an air of "edginess" or "sophistication" by daring to portray that kind of taboo topic. Some of them even do justice by it...or, at the very least, don't do an utterly terrifying job of it. So it's tricky to pinpoint just how Anthony's work is any more egregiously horrific about this sort of thing than any other fringey fantasy series out there without the benefit of hindsight and the bulk of his work to draw from.

BrianWilly fucked around with this message at 15:21 on May 1, 2014

# ¿ May 1, 2014 15:00

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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:36

BrianWilly: Apr 24, 2007; There is no homosexual terrorist Johnny Silverhand

It took me a moment to realize this was the end of the book.

# ¿ May 18, 2014 21:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Let's Read Xanth (You Were Stupid As A Teen, Too)