RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Great Beer posted:

Ticket: Users lotus notes is locked up due to a large attachment.

Today I learn that in the year 2014, there are still people using Lotus Notes.

Then again we're still using BlackBerry, so I'm not one to talk.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2014 21:03

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 09:20

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

sfwarlock, I assume you installed the original servers with proper licenses. It might be a good idea to dig up any paperwork you have that can prove that they were in compliance when you left, or at least that anything that wasn't in compliance wasn't your fault.

Apart from that, no money in the world is worth the hassle of dealing with a customer who thinks his nephew can run business IT just because he plays CoD all day.

edit: Slow post.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 20:38

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

go3 posted:

There's really no amount of money in the world worth the hassle of dealing with clients who dumped you

Especially when said clients are proven retarded and/or hostile.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 22:38

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

Apparently one of the office managers in a client we service decided that the server room needed dusting... and removed these blinking drawers in the front of one of these sliding computer box things so that they could be dusted. Too bad that people are calling her saying the server for which her entire business is based on is down... and that something called a Raid Array was broken. Gosh computers are hard.

A friend of mine used to work for an electronics development company, and they were having problems with their development boards. They'd work fine after assembly, but a day or two later they'd just stop working, as if the memory chips were going bad. By chance they found the cause when one of the guys worked late one night and spotted the office cleaners making their rounds, going into the testing lab and dusting everything off. Including the boards. With an antistatic duster.

Suffice to say that cleaning company found their contract terminated very quickly.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2014 16:14

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Personal printers are the scourge of any IT environment. We have a strong policy against personal printers here and it mostly works, but there are still a few C-people who think they are above the rules and can pull enough important strings to get it anyway.

At least when we're forced to buy personal printers we buy them network capable printers so we can remote manage them. gently caress USB printers forever.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 10:01

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

tehloki posted:

Everybody here who has a personal printer is either a VP or needs it for legitimate reasons (printing cheques, printing off HR records, banking stuff, etc). It's very frustrating because all these people do so much drat printing that it seems like the better solution would be for them to have the giant xerox outside their office door.

The "legitimate reasons" go away as soon as you set up a good pull print solution (We have RFID readers on the printers and people use their door tags to authenticate). Then prints don't come out until you're standing at the printer, and if you're printing something sekrit you can just tell people to stand back if they get nosy.

The real reason people want personal printers is because they're too lazy to move their rear end out of their chair to walk ten feet over to the department printer.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 10:12

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Yeah we gave up on secure printing using PINs/log ins. Although I can't really blame the users for hating it because HP's UI for it is terrible both on the client and printer side.

Pull printing using RFID badges is much nicer because the users don't have to do anything on the computer, and "put badge on pad" is something even the most thick-headed marketing manager can understand.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 16:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Roargasm posted:

"But I want my print job to be done and waiting for me by the time I get to the printer. Authenticated printing wastes too much of my time."

"Maybe we should look at the firewall logs to see how much of your work time you spend on facebook before you talk about wasting time."

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 16:42

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Sickening posted:

Docking stations blow and laptops still aren't as powerfull for the $$.

I swear laptop manufacturers build docking station as a way to punish IT departments for our sins in a previous life or something. I have never seen a docking station that isn't a complete piece of poo poo. Then you add how awfully Windows handles having multiple devices added/removed at the same time and it's a recipe for alcoholism.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 17:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

stubblyhead posted:

Seriously? I'm probably dating myself horribly here, but I clearly remember even in first grade (6-7 y.o.) being unattended in class for short periods if the teacher needed to take a poo poo or have a smoke or whatever it was grownups did back in the 80s. I guess they don't do that anymore huh?

I fear for the western world in 15-20 years when all the kids today who are taught that the world is so dangerous they can't be left unsupervised for five minutes have grown up.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 18:09

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

25k full time isn't a salary, it's an insult. It's basically the company telling you to gently caress off.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 17:18

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Paladine_PSoT posted:

lync

Halo

Serious answer: What's your use case? Just inter-office conferencing or external parties too?

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 21:45

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Galler posted:

Possibly even terribad but will the DBMS even allow that?

If you quote it properly, yes.

You should always quote your names anyway. Doesn't make naming a column "where" any less stupid though. Just name it "location" instead.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 22:33

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Reply that they can use Alt-032 to enter a space and close the ticket.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 15:36

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

MJP posted:

Good times!

This is why I always just have HP send me the parts and swap them myself. No offence to their techs, but if I do it myself it'll be done faster and correctly.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 17:34

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

GreenNight posted:

I'll swap a hard drive but I'll be god damned if I'm swapping a motherboard or a screen. Who has time for that.

I don't do client devices. Those they can send a tech for. But anything in the data center I'll handle myself, thanks.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 18:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Megaman posted:

That's THE funniest joke I've heard in a LONG time. I've never heard of a single company that runs windows in any serious environment. Do you work for Tardco or IdiotiCorp?

You're either trolling or you've never worked outside the IT/web industry.

I work for one of the world's largest international banks, and with a handful of exceptions it's Windows Server of various flavours for everything back-end and Windows 7 on the desktops.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 11:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Knormal posted:

It happened, I found the user with the worst mouse ever.

http://ergo.contour-design.com/ergonomic-mouse/rollermouse-pro2

Those are awful. Especially since the end of stroke detector is a pretty stiff micro switch and when you activate it the pointer goes zooming across the screen at warp 9.

They have another model that's more like a rolling pad which is pretty nice though, since it's pretty much a touchpad with haptic feedback.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 11:10

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

ratbert90 posted:

Are you serious?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usage_share_of_operating_systems#Servers

I mean, this isn't a hard thing to go look up.

For major companies, public servers are often outsourced.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 23:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

I wasn't trying to argue the merits of operating systems, sorry if it came off like that. :shobon:

# ¿ Feb 3, 2014 01:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Ursine Asylum posted:

I can always tell something's wrong pretty fast, though, because I don't have to rotate the USB cord one or more times for it to go in.

I tell people my everyday superpower is being able to insert a USB plug correctly in only two tries.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2014 21:56

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

hihifellow posted:

the other will fill the room with oxygen destroying gas

Most gaseous fire suppressants aren't lethal, they just lower the oxygen concentration to a level that is still breathable but smothers a fire.

Fun fact: It's not lack of oxygen that makes you breathe harder, it's excess of carbon dioxide in your lungs. So Inergen contains 8% carbon dioxide (the rest is 50/50 argon and nitrogen). This inclusion of CO2 is designed to trick your body into taking deeper breaths in case you get trapped in an Inergen-flooded room.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 01:10

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

docbeard posted:

The insistence in business on using it for goddamn everything (it's a database! It's a presentation tool! It's an ice-cream maker!) doesn't really help, either.

Don't forget a data transfer format! I'd say half of my headaches at work stem from the hundreds of various excel-to-csv or vice versa scripts written by half a dozen different people for different purposes, all obviously specialised for their specific data flow.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 20:27

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

How I wish our backup volumes were only 500GB..

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 18:54

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

I had a marketing manager (why is it always marketing?) a bunch of years ago who suggested that me and my coworker should come in on the Sunday of every week and "be proactive and make sure that no problems occur during the next week.".

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 19:56

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Use Windows Magnifier?

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 21:43

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Or just go into disk manager after you've installed and make sure the boot manager is on your system drive. If it's not you'll need to use BCDboot to copy it.

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/dd744347(v=ws.10).aspx

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 08:56

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Personally I don't care if people waste their time watching sportsball when they should be working. I'm not their boss.

If the bandwidth use becomes a noticable problem I might do something but until then it's a management problem, not IT.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 12:17

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Close ticket with comment "User uncooperative, will not assist in the future"

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 01:28

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Take picture of user, photoshop the middle finger template from AI on top of it, attach to ticket and close it.

Collateral Damage fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Feb 8, 2014

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 01:30

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

I hope everyone starts emails to him with "hi buddy" and ends them with "k? thanx bye"

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 13:13

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Re: Important Color Issue RE: Macbooks.

Sod off. They're metal colored. Deal with it.

Regards,

IT.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 00:43

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Cojawfee posted:

We have this big project that needs to spin up tomorrow. Here's the server we need. High priority.

"Here's the big IT project management has been planning for six months. Except we didn't tell anyone in IT. And here's three weeks of work for you, have it done by yesterday."

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 23:47

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

waffle iron posted:

I've only ever seen one phone system install that did the smart thing and used 7 to get an outside line.

Every system I've ever worked with has used 0 to get an outside line. :confused:

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 23:51

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

waffle iron posted:

Are you in the US? Because just about every phone system uses 9. Probably because 0 in the US system is a collect call.

Ah that makes sense then. And no, I'm in europe.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 11:44

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

11" macbook air is the only sub-13" laptop I know of that isn't a complete piece of crap, and even then it's really only good as a citrix client and web browser.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 21:10

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

HalloKitty posted:

To be fair, that was never considered HD until marketers came along. It was just a normal, far from exceptional resolution.

Same with Ultra HD. That was always 7680�4320 until the last year or so, when 3840�2160 became "Ultra HD" too.

"HD Ready" was a label that annoyed me for the few years that 720p TVs had a market share. Ready for what, exactly? Buying a proper HD TV two years later?

# ¿ Feb 16, 2014 02:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

RFC2324 posted:

I work with old Sun gear.

We can't reboot anything because there is a fair chance it won't come back up after 5+ years uptime.

Just rebooting a machine that has been running for a number of years usually isn't a problem. The problem comes when you have to shut it down for a period of time and things like hard drive bearings cool down.

e: And/or you discover that your CMOS battery is dead.

Collateral Damage fucked around with this message at 11:09 on Feb 18, 2014

# ¿ Feb 18, 2014 10:38

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

nitrogen posted:

I've always said HP sucks as a hardware vendor, while all other vendors are far worse.

Buy through a distributor instead. HP may suck on their own, but at least in my experience they have a pretty good distributor network.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2014 14:38

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 09:20

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

RFC2324 posted:

You have obviously never rebooted one that had several hundred hardcoded mount points to NFS shares on servers that no longer exist, causing the the network stack to hang during boot.

Yeesh, yeah that's a completely different problem. Although if you know about it you could set up a dummy NFS server with a bunch of DNS and/or IP aliases so that the mount attempts will at least succeed.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2014 16:23

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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