RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

tehloki posted:

The last time somebody here got a legitimate concatenating-itself-onto-a-bunch-of-dlls virus combofix removed it completely but also broke his entire printing subsystem. I lost faith in combofix that day.

I've seen that specifically happen with the Xerox universal print driver (x5ps.dll or something). All I do is just restore that one file that ComboFix without fail marks as a virus every single time, and it's fine. But no amount of un-installing and re-installing the Xerox UPD will ever fix it. I even had to reimage a few machines before I figured that one out.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 21:34

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 02:26

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Galler posted:

...
Windows XP mode is poo poo
...
Make an XP VM
...

I do not think you are clear on what "XP Mode" is. It's a specially bundled VM that MS put together using their Virtual PC/HyperV technology.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 00:06

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Khisanth Magus posted:

I believe he means a VM that isn't made with Microsoft's Virtual PC software.

I know what he's saying - what I'm saying is that they would be identical. If "XP Mode" won't work for you, creating your own has a high probability of producing identical results.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 00:29

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

fivre posted:

Here, let me clarify:

A couple of 2011 and 2012 regdates telling a 2003 to "Get out" is so cute.

fivre, tehloki: Crowley's been posting in the previous megathread longer than you two have been members on this website. Shut up.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2013 22:19

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

I just successfully P2V'd a server I've tried P2Ving for nearly 2 years. It would always fail with some different error; turns out one of the pieces of software on the machine were actively watching for the VMware Converter process and breaking it somehow. I'm not sure if this is the vendor saying they don't support VMs or what, but the support guy who has been working with me on it said he'd never seen the problem before, so we won't be losing any of our support agreements.

At any rate, I feel extremely good about myself right now and I think it's time for a nap and then a beer when I wake up.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2013 11:42

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

MF_James posted:

my last option is to combofix... which I've been somewhat hesitant to do.

Why wasn't this the first thing you did?

# ¿ Sep 4, 2013 22:45

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

A receptionist has to make a spreadsheet with a list of names on it. She wants the first letter capitalized, and the rest of the name lowercase.

She doesn't want to use the shift key.

Ok, how is your first and only response anything other than "tough"?

Like I've said 100 times in these threads, by trying to find some ridiculously complex and technical solution to a very simple human problem, you're only making things more difficult on yourself because you are validating her behaviour as acceptable. If they have a problem doing something as basic as pressing the Shift key, that is something that you need to bring up with their superior, and not something you should be spending ANY time on researching beyond that.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 18:45

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

porktree posted:

Is there simple program that as support you can use to capture the environment of a users desktop? Something that get's running processes, ram and cpu usage, and does some pinging and tracerouting, then emails the data back to you? I'm asking because we've got unmanaged winx machines owned by our sales reps, and the underperformers are complaining it's because the order entry program keeps 'freezing' up and they have to 'reboot'. Oddly no internal users of the order entry program have this issue It would be nice to have them just run this program when they have the 'freeze' (whatever that may mean) on the off chance there is actually a problem.

I don't mean to be that snarky about the users, but of the 150 people using the order entry program every day, only a vocal 15-20 have any issues at all, and when someone shadows their session, then never have the problem that 'happens all the time'.

I seem to remember a program that fed this data back, but can't remember what it was.

If they're using Windows 7 (or 8 - I don't know since I've never used it), if you open the start menu, type in "Record steps", the first option "Record steps to reproduce a problem" will do exactly what you're looking for.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 20:51

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

My registrar somehow managed to make all my domains bounce email with a "recipient does not have an account" error! Whoooo!

Sounds like your MX record got changed by accident?

# ¿ Sep 20, 2013 15:12

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

That's what I assumed, but everything was normal. It just bounced all email to all of my domains for like 20 minutes, then returned to normal.

Then what probably happened is that they either redirected a 1-to-1 NAT policy to the wrong box, or assigned the IP to the wrong mail server temporarily. Either way, glad to hear it's working again.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2013 16:13

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

The main reason against using .local as an internal TLD is that if you ever need to get an SSL certificate for that host - without setting up your own CA - past Nov 2015 won't work: http://support.godaddy.com/help/article/6935/phasing-out-intranet-names-and-ip-addresses-in-ssls

quote:

As a result, effective October 1, 2016, Certification Authorities (CAs) must revoke SSL certificates that use intranet names or IP addresses.

Therefore, as of July 1, 2012, we no longer accept new requests, rekeys or renewals for SSL certificates that contain intranet names or IP addresses and are valid beyond Nov. 1, 2015.

An intranet name is the name of a private network, such as server1, mail or server2.local, that public Domain Name Servers (DNS) cannot access. An IP address is a string of numbers, such as 123.45.67.890, that define's a computer's location.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2013 19:34

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

GreenNight posted:

We have auto archive disabled through GPO so that isn't a solution.

Then re-enable it?

If you have not only *a* solution, but *the* solution, you should probably just do that one.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2013 03:47

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

GreenNight posted:

Oh good loving lord. My boss just told me to start looking at Hyper-V to replace our 4 node VMWare cluster because it would save us $12,000 a year in licensing.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're paying for, but why in the gently caress are you re-licensing your cluster every year?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 17:40

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

AlexDeGruven posted:

A Reply All storm came in.

Why is the group that encompasses all employees configured to accept email from anyone but specific people authorized to address the entire company?

# ¿ Oct 16, 2013 00:17

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

So a phone call came in:

My fiancee's dad called in to ask some email problems he was getting. I have his businesses site and email hosted through a hosting service run by some goons i found on SA mart who have been very reliable in the past. I checked my phone and I was getting the same error. They did a server migration last night so when I first saw these I thought they were DNS issues. So on a whim I logged into my hosting, checked my email accounts in cpanel and every one of the accounts I had is gone.

Ive already contacted support and they are resyncing the accounts, but it was a nice heart attack to have first thing in the morning.

If karma is real, you were probably Hitler in your past life.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 16:13

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Someone should write a program that would run an app that is asking for some kind of admin permissions in a sandbox and watch for any denied disk or registry calls (like regmon or procmon, but filtered for that particular thread), prompt the administrator as to who will be using the application, and then automatically set permissions for that user or group based on what it detected.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2013 19:17

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Judge Schnoopy posted:

A ticket came in...

Subject; violence of mouse
Body; second request. Come help me or the mouse gets it.

WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS

# ¿ Oct 30, 2013 20:20

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Dick Trauma posted:

Got an early email from a user that he was having trouble logging in to his Wyse terminal. Asked him if there was an error message. His reply? "Yes."

Welcome to the bottom of the pile!

"Can I help you with that? Of course I can." *click*

# ¿ Nov 1, 2013 16:37

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

FreshFeesh posted:

That's a really impressive drive failure. Where did the blue goo come from?

My (very unqualified) guess is that it was a cascading failure: one head crashed, creating enough magnetic dust to cause a buildup on another head (or two) crashing those heads, creating even more dust to kill the remaining head/platter combos.

As for the goo, that is hosed up.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2013 19:36

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

tehloki posted:

Haha. So, an event is coming up where all the coaches might have to be in a different city across the country for a week. This will involve disconnecting their ($150,000 or so) video server, packing it up in an air shipping case, getting it into a hotel, setting it up there, running and terminating cat5 from wherever it is to a bunch of meeting rooms so they can work off of it, and making sure it all works with the hotel internet.

They want me to teach all of these things to the A/V guy so they don't have to pay to send me.

Bahahahahahaha

"No."

# ¿ Nov 12, 2013 23:23

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Loose Ifer posted:

I'm not sure what that is. But we can't use anything that isn't approved by our security team because PCI. I can't even tell you how many times i ask for approval on stuff and just get an email back saying 'Denied, PCI'.

Anybody else have to be PCI compliant. Has to do with credit card info etc.

That is the laziest, un-true "denial" that I've ever heard. Just because a particular application hasn't been certified "PCI compliant" doesn't mean that it can't work in a PCI environment. You just need to be able to show an auditor that you've taken the necessary steps to mitigate any potential non-compliant functions.

In this case, you would tell your auditor "We deployed XXXXXXXX application with PDQ Deploy which typically deals with credit card information, but we created the installer to only store the installation key, and no credit card details are stored in the package. On top of that, we've set the installation options to never store any details, ensuring that PCI compliance is maintained, rather than potentially being in non-compliance by a manual install that selects the wrong options."

# ¿ Dec 9, 2013 19:04

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

So an email came in.

"We are extending our hours from 8am - 5pm to 6am-6pm. This is starting tomorrow, shift changes will be posted shortly"

Luckily this wont affect me, the client I support has specific hours I need to be here for. I feel sorry for the "Surprise, 6am starting tomorrow" guys.

"Phew, thank goodness that when you guys hired me, you put 8am-5pm in my contr--"

Wait, this is blackswordca. Of course they never had a contract. Nevermind.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2013 17:03

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Caged posted:

"The toilets are overflowing and maintenance won't answer the phone"

"That's hilarious! Ok, I'm off for lunch. I hope that gets sorted out for you!"

# ¿ Dec 11, 2013 22:23

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

So a 3 hour lunch came in;

Today was the clients holiday lunch/secret santa. I was the only one from my company invited to it. So free lunch and secret santa where half of the presents were booze. I ended up with a 40 of Caramel vodka...

Today has been a good day.

GET BACK IN YOUR POD

# ¿ Dec 11, 2013 23:48

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

Edit: Just got a call from a temp agency for a 3 month role with an energy company at a 20% pay increase..

I don't care if that energy company rapes bunnies on children's television - TAKE IT.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2013 19:26

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

ConfusedUs posted:

We had Dick Trauma for a while, and then we got blackswordca. There will be another.

It could be you. It could be me. It could be someone else. There will be another.

Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2013 21:24

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

blackswordca posted:

I have no idea why they were moved there.

At this point, that no longer matters. He's intentionally disabling auditing which takes him from woefully inept to actively malicious. If your account lead doesn't do anything, you need to keep going up the chain and sell it as a liability thing. You're trying to protect your company's rear end from litigation if/when the client finds out that this senior is not only unqualified for this work but is creating problems on purpose as a possible billable line item.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 18:35

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Langolas posted:

I did have a long time customer call me directly for some issues that we don't fully support... but I had nothing better to do.

Congratulations on volunteering to be the one this customer will now ALWAYS calls when a similar situation arises.

2014!

# ¿ Dec 31, 2013 23:22

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Great Beer posted:

Ticket: Lotus Notes calender is missing.

Resolution: Lotus Notes calendar is missing.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 21:12

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

guppy posted:

Everyone knows their email address

GET BACK IN YOUR POD

# ¿ Jan 13, 2014 20:52

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

http://shouldiuseacarousel.com

http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/

# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 23:26

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

mllaneza posted:

Attention everyone getting hassled about ticket closure times.

If you work for my mother's dialup provider you can leave a ticket open for a week. If you work for my cable company you can have a ticket open for two weeks without someone telling you to do something with it.

And if you work in a particular bank in Bermuda, you can leave your broken printer tickets open for over a year.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2014 06:54

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Endings posted:

Is that a boat? Yes, in fact, the site code refers to a mailserver sitting in the middle of an ocean, hooked up by satellite link.

Ticket assigned to network ops team for routing issue investigation.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2014 23:12

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

In case you haven't seen the various threads on Reddit and elsewhere, if you're using LogMeIn free for any of your family members or whatever, you're gonna have a bad time. It's going away. In one week.

http://help.logmein.com/SelfServiceKnowledgeRenderer?type=FAQ&id=kA0a0000000shH8CAI

# ¿ Jan 22, 2014 03:21

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

SubjectVerbObject posted:

Not spending money on storage is more important, until they lose important email.

And then it's blacksword's fault.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 19:30

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

xov posted:

We can order a server and "next day" delivery, and it actually shows up the next day, whereas the lead time through Dell is generally 1-2 weeks.

What kind of properly planned business would have a need for a next-day server?

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 19:06

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Cojawfee posted:

We have this big project that needs to spin up tomorrow.

If it's such a big project, why wasn't the project given enough time to procure assets? What happens if Lenovo can't deliver next day due to weather issues?

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 19:11

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

anthonypants posted:

Even Dick Trauma, who's got the biggest, fanciest, outlyingest pod has his share of poor planning and mis-management.

My company policy is to not work with clients who don't totally understand the concepts of planning and capital expenditures. We're not going to try and fight our clients when it comes to our shared interests - that interest being their company succeeding while using IT assets to get there. If they are going to drop a huge project on us and expect an unrealistic turnaround time or that a very pricey project should be done for peanuts, we'll politely explain that it's not possible, and if they're not OK with that, we'll gladly help them transition to a provider who is willing to work with them on the timeline or budget that they believe is necessary.

I've turned away tons of business and will likely have to do so for a long time, but I'm not going to let my employees (who are my bread and butter) feel like they're being asked to do the impossible just because some prick who's paying us hasn't taken an introductory to time management class.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 20:13

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

go3 posted:

Thats great and all but you do understand that there are companies that handle all this internally and decisions are routinely made by people who have no idea what the work actually entails

Oh I get that 100%, all I'm saying is that I make it company policy not to do business with companies like that, and that it isn't a foregone conclusion.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 21:18

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 02:26

nexxai: Jul 17, 2002; quack quack bjork; Fun Shoe

Collateral Damage posted:

"Here's the big IT project management has been planning for six months. Except we didn't tell anyone in IT. And here's three weeks of work for you, have it done by yesterday."

"That's not physically possible. By not providing us enough notice, you ruined your own timeline. Either you can give us an appropriate amount of time to implement a proper solution, or you can find someone else to do it, but either way this is not happening on the schedule that you planned. Please discuss the two options among yourselves and let me know how you'd like to proceed."

[NINJA EDIT] And yes, I've had to say that very thing a number of times to various clients, losing a fair amount of business in the process, but as I've said before I'm not about to make my employees suffer because someone else hosed up. Their well-being is infinitely more important to me than keeping a client who has proven that they have unrealistic expectations.

nexxai fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Feb 12, 2014

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 23:55

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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