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Big Trouble in Little China Look at this loving guy.  He's not in Big Trouble in Little China.  This guy is, though, and he's not nearly as much of a bad son of a bitch. But he has a lot more heart. Big Trouble in Little China was released in 1986, on a budget of $20-25 million. Captained by Horror Master John Carpenter, this vessel of absolute beauty stormed the beaches of No One Gives a gently caress, threw its crew onto the beach and left them there to have all of the fun imaginable. All of it. You cannot imagine the fun. You might even refuse to. This is a movie where a Chinese dude explodes from sheer rage. There's a place called the Chinese Hell of Being Cut to Pieces. The Asian sidekick is the proverbial hero because the White Leading Macho Action Star is an American Truck Driver who, although admirably courageous, is a useless piece of poo poo, in way over his head and has no idea what the gently caress is going on. He just wants his truck back. Then there's monsters and magicians and sorcerers, and all sorts of other weird poo poo and Kim Catrall. You still can't imagine the fun, I get it. It's hard to grasp, profoundly so. Here are pictures. A picture says more than a thousand words, but then again, you usually don't read pictures (you might have to read one of these pictures) Imagine being in a film where this is your poster and DVD cover  No, you can't. What about running into this guy  They used Jefferoo for reference This guy's also in here  He didn't care. Also him  Sweet guy, though. All this and much more is in this movie. There are also things that aren't in this movie, but I think that can be said of a lot of movies, so we shouldn't hold that against this one. It opened to a spectacular $2,723,211 on 1,092 screens, and has grossed roughly $11,100,000 to this day. Victory! No one understood this movie very well. I'd like to tell you why. edit: my pitch has pictures 
spaceships fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Sep 9, 2013 |
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Sep 9, 2013 01:09
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The Long Kiss Goodnight is a better Die Hard than Die Hard.
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Sep 20, 2013 17:59
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Charlz Guybon posted:Wasn't this a huge hit on home video though? No one gave a poo poo when it came about because it was marketed really weird and they didn't understand/appreciate the premise of the film. It found a massive cult following later on. Speaking of, I'm having massive issues. Lost the first draft, and since my wife's gotten sick, I've written maybe ~150 words. Still going to kick it over the next week, but at this rate, it doesn't look like I'll be finishing in time.
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Oct 19, 2013 12:32
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