More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›4 »

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

theperminator posted:

poo poo that pisses me off for some reason, people who never clean their poo poo.

Every time a laptop gets passed to me after a staff member leaves, or someone needs me to fix something they're always smeared in dust, hair and hand grease.

It's cum. It's always cum.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 08:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 04:20

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I tried to install 8.1 last night, and it wouldn't. I just had to hard boot my laptop, luckily it rolled back. Decided to use the opportunity to put in a new bigger SSD today and do a clean install. I do one, and discover my Windows 8 key is only for upgrading. Format and install Windows 7, install Windows 8, install Media Center and updates, upgrade to Windows 8.1 from web, now copying stuff from my old SSD and trying to gather drivers for a computer that was made for 8 months and then never again (Studio XPS 13, I love it to death and will kill anyone who says anything bad about it!).

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 17:34

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

poo poo that does not piss me off: Wireless mice left in conference rooms. If I see them lying there for a week and nobody takes them, they are MINE!

# ¿ Oct 28, 2013 12:21

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Helushune posted:

I gave up on their support site back when none of the links would load/take over 5 minutes to load under Chrome. I started using ftp://ftp.dell.com/Pages/Drivers/ with ctrl+f to find what I want and have never looked back.

Do not use that, it is no longer updated!

Go to http://ftp.dell.com instead, they have messed it up with javascript and poo poo, but it's still quicker than the support web page.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2013 09:16

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Jedi425 posted:

I am about to go to work in sweatpants. Thank Dog no one ever sees me in person.

I man the walk-in helpdesk for everyone from the CEO to the janitors, I have to work in our storage area stacking boxes that come in from offshore oilrigs, and I have to crawl on the floor to plug in the cables they kick out. Collared golfshirt and jeans it is, all day every day.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 14:13

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I need a highly automated way to track laptops in and out and who are using them that I can present to my boss. One of our divisions wants to know how many laptops IT has given them, how many they have returned to us, temporary loaner laptops that have been used, how many laptops each user has had through their employment, who has been using a laptop through its lifespan etc.

:siren:

IF I CAN'T PRESENT A GOOD SOLUTION, HE WILL MAKE ME REGISTER ALL OF THIS IN EXCEL!! :siren:

Edit:
I have PDQ Inventory and Deploy free versions, I tried to push for a Lansweeper license, but no go, so I can enjoy three weeks of knowing what's actually going on.

evobatman fucked around with this message at 10:32 on Jan 10, 2014

# ¿ Jan 10, 2014 10:29

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

spog posted:

Or car brands where they sell multiple models with the same engine but with different HP - which can be unlocked in the ECU

My 2004 Saab 9-3 had this. Since the throttle body was electronic, all that was needed to add cruise control was to replace the turn signal stalk with one that had the switches for cruise control on it, and activate the feature in the ECU. On older cars you had to have vacuum pumps, chains, mechanisms, wires etc to actually pull down the throttle pedal and keep the throttle body open.

Same thing with an Aux port for the stereo. The functions were already there in the stereo, I just had to plug the wire that had the actual headphone plug into the back of the car stereo, and the dealer had to activate the function.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 10:52

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

dogstile posted:

I have no idea what the hell happened to dell, in the last few years they've just gotten progressively worse as each month passes.

They have been the ultimate posterboy for American-style stockprice- and quarterly result-focused management practices.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 11:54

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Someone pulled ANOTHER Latitude E6420 out of a locked docking station!

# ¿ Mar 13, 2014 10:55

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

keseph posted:

How does someone even do that? Did they tear the dock in half or what? Every single possibility I can think of demands a picture.

They break the metal tabs in the bottom frame of the laptop, so it can never be docked again.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2014 08:43

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sir_Substance posted:

We're talking about a docking system that looks like this, right:

If that's what we're talking about, that's not exactly robust. Plastic design, clips the size of thumb tacks.

It's robust enough to break the metal inside of the laptop where the clips attach.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2014 12:59

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Helushune posted:

I think it was earlier in this thread, someone had mentioned that Dell doesn't update any of the drivers on their FTP site anymore or something like that. I still use it because it's still heaps better than trying to use Dell's support site when I need a driver to inject in some WDS images.

That was me when someone just linked to an outdated page on that site. Just browse from http://ftp.dell.com, and you should be good.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2014 08:53

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Lum posted:

This is why any and all requests from users for wireless equipment are straight up denied by me. It's hard enough for us IT people to keep it working, I'm not willfully putting it in the hands of people who don't know that it needs charging or new batteries, or who can't reconnect it when the connection inevitably drops.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2014 14:09

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

ghostinmyshell posted:

We just got our third brand new Dell SMB team since the start of the year(who sound like they are in an even smaller call center). Yay for fuckups for the next couple of orders.

Our Dell rep just quit his job, so maybe now I can get someone who can configure my five change requests that I ask for in one email, instead of me having to send five emails with successively less change requests in each.

Also, does anyone elses Premier page configurators include half a page of actually relevant stuff and then two and a half pages of unchangeable options like Thank you for choosing Dell
- Not selected - $0 ?

# ¿ May 5, 2014 19:07

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

drat, I thought it was because Lum is also a DJ, and it was a dubstep thing.

# ¿ May 14, 2014 12:23

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Pissing me off: Two work weekends this month, one in the north sea, one in Scotland, where I think I'm going to be just carrying carboard boxes. Since these boxes contain desktop computers, it's an IT job.

Not pissing me off: The paycheck I'm gonna get in June from this.

# ¿ May 19, 2014 10:08

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

evobatman posted:

Pissing me off: Two work weekends this month, one in the north sea, one in Scotland, where I think I'm going to be just carrying carboard boxes. Since these boxes contain desktop computers, it's an IT job.

Not pissing me off: The paycheck I'm gonna get in June from this.

Back from Scotland, and in addition to carrying boxes, I was over and under desks all day plugging and unplugging computers. My feet, knees, hips, back, neck and clothes are all ruined.

I bought this, don't give me any poo poo for it:

Edit, just to clarify: My company paid for all the costs for me to go to Scotland from Friday to Sunday to unplug computers at one desk and then have someone else carry (most) of them to another building where I then plug them in again. And my work is done at weekend rate, which is 100%. I don't mind, because it's going into my house fund, but they couldn't hire a couple of kids from a temp agency for whatever they pay you in Scotland?

evobatman fucked around with this message at 15:55 on May 25, 2014

# ¿ May 25, 2014 15:49

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Jerry Cotton posted:

Great so you get paid the same as weekdays

You know what I meant :v:

# ¿ May 27, 2014 12:42

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

ming-the-mazdaless posted:

I have not been paid.
No pay? No work. It's a simple arrangement�

Since this is the third time, it's time to leave.

Talk to a lawyer. Now. Before you do anything else.

See that thing you were just about to do?

Before you do that thing you were just about to do, talk to a lawyer.

# ¿ May 28, 2014 11:37

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Carpet posted:

I have thanks, but as far as I can tell, it only shows the latest version, and not any older ones

Can you use a generic driver for the OEM of the soundchip, and not the Lenovo-specific one?

# ¿ Jun 2, 2014 13:39

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I had issues with people calling my cellphone instead of the helpdesk line. I mainly use an iPhone, but I keep a twin android phone on my desk, as there is an app that will look up unknown numbers both on our internal directory and in the phonebook and display caller ID while it's calling. Makes it easy for me to decide whether or not to answer the call.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2014 09:52

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

It's just like when BMW offered a manual transmission on the E60 M5, but only for the US market.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 09:30

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

And talk to a lawyer or your union. Hostile work environment (or whatever your equivalent is) all the way!

# ¿ Jul 7, 2014 14:12

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

death .cab for qt posted:

Receptionist

Good. I want this receptionist where I work. The people who need to contact me directly know how, everyone else goes through the Helpdesk phone.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 07:09

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

myron cope posted:

Windows update.

My laptop will not install Windows updates anymore. Or, it will install them, but after reboot, it will say configuring, and then say failed. Every time. Then it reverts the updates, reboots and works fine. Until the next time I try to shut down. Then it happens all over again.

I've tried a few of microsofts fix its and like restarting the service or whatever. I've had nothing but problems with Windows updates on this machine. It didn't update for months at all, checking for updates would fail. Then magically it updated one day a few weeks ago and went to poo poo. Twice it installed a driver that killed audio entirely (it said no devices were installed) and I had to system restore to even get that to work. Now it's just not installing at all. I can do updates one at a time and find the ones not working (which I did last week,, and hid the offenders) but that's not a great solution.

It's an inspiron 5530 win7 pro.

Put in an SSD if you don't already have one, and reinstall from blank/reimage your computer. Troubleshooting Windows updates that haven't worked for months isn't worth your time.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2014 07:35

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

I'm not the only one who has thought about doing it, but has anyone actually filtered off email from a person or group of people? I think I am just about done with receiving email from 2 people in another department...

Not quite there yet, but I do block people on Lync after the second time they IM me with something that should have gone to helpdesk@company.com

# ¿ Jul 16, 2014 07:42

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I came back from 4 weeks of vacation to find a perfectly fine laptop in the electronics trash. Apparently it had refused to PXE image itself no matter what my coworkers had tried, so they threw it out.

I set the BIOS to the correct date and time, and loaded our image on it.

It's just a Latitude E6400, so it's not like anything of great value would have been lost, but for fucks sake!

# ¿ Aug 18, 2014 13:46

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

guppy posted:

Believe me, I do I try not to be insane about it, but I also try to be careful about that stuff.

You are breathing someones poop particles right now. We all are.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2014 12:47

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I will gladly breathe anyones farts.

However, I will not breathe the toner that's all over the inside of one of our old printers. I have quite enjoyed not having cancer so far.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 13:48

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Slate Slabrock posted:

How the hell was this running for 10 years:

I've found that when they dry up, there's a chance the systems will go back to running stable again. It's the period when they start bulging and leaking they will have issues.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2014 06:55

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

evol262 posted:

I think golf, strip clubs, and drinking are time-honored sales relationship strategies.

The only bribe I ever got was a bluetooth headset

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 08:19

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

A c E posted:

ASUS RMA service. gently caress them.

You should have a stack of regular commodity hardware such as RAM sticks, WLAN cards and harddrives sitting around for cases like this, so that resolution time is <2 minutes + reimaging. At least use a vendor that gives you next business day on-site service.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 07:12

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Erwin posted:

So I ordered my first Lenovo since Dell removed the ability to customize Optiplexes. It comes with Pokki, a start menu replacement, because Lenovo struck a deal with them or some poo poo. I don't have an 8.1 master image and I'd like to stick to 8.1 to manage 2012 R2 servers, so I just uninstalled all the bullshit that comes preinstalled.

Except Pokki comes back when a new user logs in. Uninstall it through control panel, it disappears from the list, but log in as another user and boom it's back. That's loving malware you ignorant fucksticks. What the gently caress is this horseshit doing on a business computer. gently caress this pisses me off.

Everybody, look at this guy who is using the preinstalled image on his business laptop instead of reinstalling it.

Also, without having checked it myself, I find it dubious that Dell has "removed the ability to customize Optiplexes".

# ¿ Oct 13, 2014 07:07

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I've started using ninite.com for this poo poo.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2014 12:36

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sirotan posted:

Greetings from my new desk:

There is no "Like" button here, so I will just quote your post.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2014 14:56

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Manslaughter posted:

For the past two years I have been serving part of my job as an uncompensated email monkey for another employee. Back when I started there were three of us watching a shared email box and grabbing the incoming issues based on what the ticket was about. Fast forward to today and the activity for this email box has greatly died down. Now there is only one person handling 99% of the issues that come through that email, but for some reason this joker won't add it to his watched inboxes, so I have to forward every email that comes in to his address directly. This wouldn't be so bad, but then instead of writing the client back himself he just replies back with a "tell them this:" message, so that I'm the one that inevitably handles all communication with anyone and ends up getting called or emailed for issues when I haven't worked with the product in a long time.

Take some responsibility for your own life.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2014 15:30

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Bob Morales posted:

Gave a guy a ThinkPad Carbon X1 yesterday. Got a voicemail today, "I didn't think I was going to have to plug this in..."

Seriously?

It's supposed to be wireless!!

# ¿ Oct 31, 2014 15:35

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Sweevo posted:

Someone just asked me if we had any 5.25" floppy drives.

I like to keep old stuff like this around, just so we can show them how it won't read their disks.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2014 13:18

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I think I have found the magic word to get users to do what I want: "Audit"

Some user wants VPN access and slams the form on my desk instead of scanning and emailing it to themselves and uploading the PDF file to our Helpdesk portal? "I wish I could take that from you, but when we get audited both you, me and our managers will get in trouble"

"I don't understand all this and I'm not good at computers, why can't I just get a new shiny iPhone right now instead of filling out all this stuff?" "You work in finance and you know what an audit is. When I get audited, they are going to look at how I replaced that iPhone for you".

I don't know what an audit is. My work probably doesn't get audited.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 10:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 04:20

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

We have started purchasing iPhone 5S 32GB, up from the 4 and 4S 8GB. Tons of people are coming in complaining that their phones are slow and have no storage space. Then we have to tell them that their phones are working as designed, and we do not replace functioning phones. I'm surprised we don't get MORE smashed and soaked phones than we do.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2014 14:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

«‹›4 »