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sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
"This is unacceptable" and "I don't want to hear that."

Maybe then you should have told me about this project last month when you found out instead of two days before rollout.

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sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Only tangentially IT, but I hate when my team drags me out for lunch and then talks about nothing but work. Can't we come up with some other discussion topic? This is supposed to be our break.

(Also - I have to share this somewhere - apparently all the webdev team has been passing around the same cold/flu/thing since October. I called it an "excellent example of 'cold reuse'" and got a french fry thrown at me.)

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Grown-rear end adults who can't clean up after themselves.

It's fine, if you're a visiting person from a branch office, to take over the cube of someone who's not here that day. It's even okay to disconnect his keyb/mouse/monitor for your laptop so you can work better. I have no problem with this.

It's not okay not to hook it all back up before you leave, or at least tell the IT monkey so he (read: so I) can hook it back up at the end of the day.

Otherwise I get a very pissed off ticket going to my phone at 7:00.

Loctite. I think I need Loctite.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
That just reminds me of an old joke about how you know your boss is too drunk: He unbuttons his coat, pulls out his tie, and pisses his pants.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Put a QR code on the business cards etc. Make it link to a mailto: URL.

E: And that is what happens when I type a post and then go away before hitting post.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

HalloKitty posted:

See, that's what I'd call efficient, which you could also say is lazy. I don't see lazy as a bad thing. It's far more efficient to have a proper solution, allowing you to be lazy later on. Manually configuring countless APs requires a lot of effort, and is totally idiotic.

I guess this sort of sums it up.



Usually that's more like this:

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Alctel posted:

Backup Exec is the goddamn worst

What are you talking about? I miss working with Veritas Backup Ex... wait, not Veritas anymore? Who bought it then?

Well poo poo. That explains everything. Carry on.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Out of 5 laptops I downgraded to 8.1 from 8, 4 had serious problems, of which 2 didn't even boot. So I said gently caress it and upgraded them to 7.

And yes, I have my ups and downs straight.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

ratbert90 posted:

This. This is what too many people in IT don't understand. They get too involved in their projects. You are paid to code, to set up systems, to manage networks. If those systems aren't used? Not your issue dude, just go on to the next project.

Once I learned this, my alcohol consumption went down 70% easily.

Except then people keep getting on your case about why the new system isn't exactly like the old system except faster. Or you get blamed for how people don't use it. Or or or.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Daylen Drazzi posted:

just the other day we stepped into the stairwell to go to the server farm and only the emergency lights were on.

"Who was the idiot who thought this was a good idea?" he asked, and right on cue our commanding officer's voice came up from the bottom of the stairs.
"I like to have them tested from time to time. I trust that isn't a problem?"



To be fair, that's the sort of test people should know about in advance, or at least cone off the doors.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

GargleBlaster posted:

LogMeIn Free is going away. Fucksticks.

Any other recommendations for good free cross-platform remote access clients you can happily leave running without poking holes in your firewall and farting around with port forwarding? It's only for home, so I'm not paying.

VNC-over-SSH tunnelling on a forwarded port on some random number and trying to find a "no-ip" type service that is actually reliable (I have a dynamic IP) seems to be the most likely way so far, as much as I preferred not having to do any of that. The latter is always the stumbling block. They'll be fine for a couple of weeks then just stop updating.

I have OpenVPN running at home and RDP into a virtual Windows machine and VNC from there into the actual computers. (I find that VNC over VPN doesn't deal well if the connection drops and sometimes that causes the server to crash.)

Sirotan posted:

I just learned that you can still get a BSoD in Windows, even in Server 2012! Because I saw one, and then my server died. :(

90% of the time I see this it's flaky hardware, 10% either a bad driver or Windows thinks it's a bad driver.

(I BSoDed my gaming computer (Win7x64) the other weekend trying to run a game from 2000. Display driver locked and as I was reaching for Ctrl-Shift-Esc, it bluescreened.)

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

dogstile posted:

The engineers have to deal with that here, working hours are 9 to 5:30, but they're only allowed to claim overtime from 7:00 onwards. I don't get that, you're basically working an hour and a half for free.

Step 1: Clock out at 17:30 for dinner.
Step 2: Come back, slightly boozed, at 19:30.
Step 3: Profit.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Agrikk posted:

People who write Windows Server 2k12 or Office 2k10 or 2k13.

I understand that it's faster (but more annoying) to say "Windows two kay twelve" than "windows two thousand twelve" just like it's faster to say "dub dub dub dot company dot com" instead of "double you double you double you ..."

But literally substituting the letter k for the number zero is just dumb.

I'm reading a proposal for a new application that is going to require the deployment and custom configuration of about a hundred Server 2012R2 VMs and the author has used 2k12 about a million times in a six page brief. And now that the plate of shrimp syndrome has drawn my attention to it, it's all I can see.

Plate of shrimp syndrome?

Also:

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Mr. Clark2 posted:

Due to some political BS, we were asked to accept a donation of 15 PCs, we were told it was all "good stuff". Maintenance dept. sent 2 guys and a truck to pick up the stuff, 2 hour round trip, here's what they came back with:



Nothing less than 7-8 years old. Not pictured are the 9 boxes of dirty, used keyboards, piles of mice with ps2 connectors, approximately 10-12 useless inkjet printers, 5-10 old, broken scanners and 3 CRT monitors. My boss and I took one look at it and pretty much just laughed and said that there was absolutely nothing we could with the stuff. It's all been sitting in the basement for 2 weeks now waiting for maintenance to haul it away to be recycled.

But we spent $2000 on that computer only ten years ago! It's got to be worth something! Can I put a $750 writeoff on my taxes?

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Dudley posted:

Which leads me to my other gripe, one recruiter really couldn't understand why it was a bad thing he rewrote every candidates CV and jammed them into his own lovely template.

No, I want to hire them, not you, show me THEIR work. These 5 horrible typos? Are they the candidate not giving a poo poo or you being poo poo.

It was, unsurprisingly, usually the 2nd one.

Reminds me of the time I got a resume for a "C+ Programmer."

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Not quite pissing me off, but I had to share somewhere:

Somehow today our "General Tech BS" chat has gotten onto Top Gun quotes and .gifs. So far, five people will be my wingman anytime, I've had to threaten two people with flying a cargo plane full of rubber dogshit outta Hong Kong, I've been accused of being in a 4G inverted dive with Kayla from Marketing, and just in general felt the need for speed.



EDIT: Oh, and I've told eight people the pattern is full.

EDIT #2: "I don't like you because you're unsafe. Every time you touch a server, you're dangerous."

sfwarlock fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Mar 18, 2014

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

CitizenKain posted:

From talking to boat owners, go to Europe.

A boat is a hole in the water into which you throw money. Go to Europe.

Also:

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
This little gently caress-you buried in Technet:

"Note that you cannot convert a domain controller that runs an evaluation version of Windows Server 2012 directly to a retail version."

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Sickening posted:

As someone who has done more work with failing domain controllers than I like to admit, its really not that big of deal as long as you have another way to standup a server temporarily. Passing roles back and forth on anything 2008 and above is pretty painless.

Which is true, and I have two more servers in the environment. It's just frustrating as hell because we're shorthanded and I have no extra time to spend dueling with Windows right now. (Although - and probably this is unfair - I know terms like FSMO and PDC/BDC are outdated, but I'll still a little worried at people who admin servers who don't know them.)

(( Also one of the servers in question also threw this at me on Monday, which caused a full out spit-take, fortunately not in the direction of anything technological: .)

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Sickening posted:

As a default, absolutely. Group policy should be configuring this though and not allowing auto reboots. It should be one of the first things you do in any active directory environment.

Just because you can change stupid default settings doesn't make them any less stupid. In fact, it makes them a trap.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Bob Morales posted:

Boss must have gotten bored at 10:39 last night, started emailing me while I was at the bar.

WHY IS THERE A FIREWALL RULE ALLOWING TRAFFIC FROM THE INTERNET TO A MACHINE NAMED 'UBUNTU'

It's a Linux box for testing

WHAT THE HELL FOR

It's useful to have a box outside our internal network for doing tests and ...

WELL WHY THE HELL DOES IT NEED INBOUND ACCESS

Umm in case we have to test outward connectivity from our network to something? Just delete the rule I'm not arguing with you at 10:30 at night.

WHAT ARE YOU HOSTING ON IT?

There's nothing even installed on it.

YOU CAN EXPLAIN IN THE MORNING

No. Just remove the rule. I'm not going to debate with you the things I use to do my job.

"Welp, you caught me. It's my Minecraft server. And Tor exit node. And cloud porn storage. And I just threw it online without a firewall or anything just to see what would happen."

Meanwhile, if I got that interview question, I would say "give me five minutes with the awk manpage and I'll see what I can do." Knowing the right tool is 90% of the job as far I'm currently concerned.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Speaking of virtuals:

Someone wants to P2V the old server... onto the same hardware. Why? Seems to boil down to because "it's better".

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

nitrogen posted:

This video is exactly what it is like trying to work with the project managers at my company.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

Holy God. I had to turn that off.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
At some point, Windows lost the ability to stop a scheduled task after an arbitrary amount of time.



Either that, or it just hides the ability behind a dropdown list, which may be even worse.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Mr. Clark2 posted:

Today? Users that don't reboot their PCs after I push out IE10 to their machines and they receive an email and a post-installation message telling them that they need to reboot in order to complete the installation. As a result of this, my reports are still showing a bunch of machines with IE8 installed, even though my other report tells me that IE10 successfully installed. Next time I'm just going to use /ForceRestart instead of /NoRestart and remove them from the decision entirely.

But... but I had stuff open! You destroyed my stuff! WAAAAAAH!

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Bob Morales posted:

Even dumber, helpdesk are the only people allowed to change toners. We keep them in a locked storage room.

To be fair, that poo poo's expensive and printers start whining about low toner long before they're actually out. The Unwashed Masses tend to put new toner in way too early.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

UFOTofuTacoCat posted:

Re: Time to leave a job.
I knew it was time when I started fantasizing about stabbing someone. I had never had thoughts like that before and found it to be quite bizarre. I think the cold medicine I was taking during that time had something to do with it.

My touchstone for that has always been the time I rolled past a really ugly wreck on the freeway and my first thought was "That lucky bastard doesn't have to go to work tomorrow."

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Soylent Heliotrope posted:

I got a recruiter email the other day matching me with a six-digit salary senior Java developer position. I have no interest in dev and only know Java from taking a couple comp sci classes in college. My current job (IT/facilities/operations support guy, entry-level, small business, low cost area) just gave me a raise to $11.50 an hour.

Come on dude, did you even read my resume? :v:

e: It's actually even worse, because the recruiter in question comes by my workplace every month (for reasons unrelated to me) and has literally seen me working here. Even the worst recruiter couldn't possibly be that daft.

Is Java on your resume? If yes, then an automated email got sent to you.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

NullPtr4Lunch posted:

poo poo that pisses me off: Bosses who don't know the difference between On-Call and On-beck-and-Call. :argh:

Or between work-life separation (thing of the past) and work-life balance (necessary).

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Problem: "Something is wrong with my computer it's acting weird and I can't get to google.com!"
Step 1: remove coupon program that's GUARANTEED to be there
Step 2: reboot

Step 3: User reinstalls, and bitches to your boss that you left their computer messed up and it's also still slow/weird/whatever.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Lum posted:

The post above yours is basically correct. It's the endorphin crash that comes afterwards, sometimes quite quickly, sometimes in a couple of days, hence a valid medical thing.


Back on topic

I asked an IT worker at a customer to do a DIR /B *.ext > List.txt and send me the resulting file so that I can create a script for him to fix a fault.
He sent me a printscreen of an explorer window, which I now get to manually type in >.<

Dom drop is also totally a thing. *ahem*

Meanwhile, try throwing this at the printscreen: http://projectnaptha.com/

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

HalloKitty posted:

Jesus, what kind of round-about poo poo is this? Install the desktop experience so you can run disk cleanup?

Why don't they just make Disk Cleanup part of the update?

What the hell does Ink and handwriting have to do with this? Now and again you see something that makes you realise how much of a fragile mess Windows is.

WinSXS in general is poo poo. A bunch of the people where I work have small (~25gb) Windows virtual machines (on 128gb SSDs) and those HDs keep filling up with SXS poo poo. One I saw yesterday had 11 gb in there.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

If the director says working from home today is fine, your reply to the email I sent saying working from home is fine, and my status is "working from home".

Why would you call me at 830am and ask me where I am?

I would assume that they know you're home, but they want greater detail. So you could say "still in bed" or "cooking breakfast" or possibly "on the back deck enjoying a wake-and-bake."

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

ratbert90 posted:


Edit* The problem yesterday was this:

A^2 + B^2 == C^2
A + B + C == 1000
A < B < C

Find the combination that meets all 3 of those conditions.

I got bored enough to do this.


#include <stdio.h>

int main() {
int a,b,c;
for (b=0; b < 1000; ++b) {
for (a=0; a < b; ++a) {
c = 1000 - (a+b);
if ((b < c) && (a*a + b*b == c*c)) {
printf("a: %d \t b: %d \t c: %d\n",a,b,c);
}
}
}
return 0;
}

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

evol262 posted:

The same in C:
C code:
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

void main() {
        int a, b, c;
        for(a=1; a < 1000; a++) {
                for(b=a+1; b < 999-a; b++) {
                        c = 1000 - (b + a);
                        if ((a*a + b*b) == c*c) {
                                printf("Found a = %d, b = %d, c = %d\n", a, b, c);
                                exit(0);
                        }
                }
        }
}
Runs in 1ms. 1.

I wonder how much faster it would be to calculate a*a (and for the hell of it, b*b) once per for loop instead of once per c value:

C code:
int a, b, c, a2, b2;
        for(a=1; a < 1000; a++) {
                a2 = a*a;
                 for(b=a+1; b < 999-a; b++) {
                        b2 = b*b;
                        c = 1000 - (b + a);
                        if ((a2 + b2) == c*c) {

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
Pissing me off today: having to watch an awesome person walk because there was no room for advancement.

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

Moey posted:

My coworker tweeted some hate towards their support. Within a few hours my ticket was escalated. The email thread that I came into was started by their marketing director telling their support director to do something. Pretty hilarious.

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Just make a new one every time you need help, I've made an account to yell at Veeam, Dell, and OpenText and I got an answer from each of them within half an hour.

"This person is making us look bad on social media! We have to let them jump the queue!"

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007
That right after I spent three months of my life working on Project Truecrypt, feeling good that almost everyone is done by Wednesday night of the week of rollout...

sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

spog posted:

I'm calling it now: internal spat about some really technical issue taht devolved into an arguement about WOW or MLP and resulted in one fo the team storming off in a huff, taking all the passwords with him.

I feel like the advice to use Bitlocker (wtf) or "whatever you find" on Linux is a huge red flag that all is not what it seems. :tinfoil:

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sfwarlock
Aug 11, 2007

spog posted:

Based on their history I would expect that if they genuinely wanted to reveal a vuln, they would go into it in great technical detail that mere mortals like me wouldn't be able to understand.

It may be that the vuln means that old containers are easily broken, and since patch it would reveal what it was, and there's some number of encrypted containers in the hands of bad actors ...

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