More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Che Delilas posted:

That's the reason I'm actually excited that Dell went private. They've been on a steady decline in quality of product and support for the last decade, and I'm interested to see if they can turn it around now that they answer to buisness people instead of clueless investors.

The investors aren't clueless, they know exactly what they're doing. The problem is that they're working for themselves and their own immediate return instead of the good of the company. Long-term returns aren't part of the game for anyone but retirees and index fund managers -- if a stock's not performing short-term, why not just sell it and buy one that is? Sitting on a dead-weight stock just means you're tying up your money and making it unable to be invested somewhere else.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2013 19:49

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 23:53

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Volmarias posted:

This isn't strictly true. Investors (and i refer here to large investment organizations, since individual shareholders generally cannot force change) are willing to tolerate losses as long as there's a plan which incorporates those losses into a strategy which ends with growth. If "one quarter of loss = you're out" were true, ~~RIM~~ Blackberry would have had a parade of CEOs over the last few years.

You do tend to see massive, massive stock price drops as the short-term investors leave before things start to level out, though.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2013 22:40

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Caged posted:

None of those are reasons to pick their product over another.

Not even the Gartner Magic Quadrant for MDM? :haw:

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 17:36

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Paladine_PSoT posted:

Layoff notices just in time for the Christmas and my daughter's first birthday.

Got to separate the wheat from the chaff so there's budget money for executive bonuses at the end of the month.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2013 21:40

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Bob Morales posted:

Some CDN's like CacheFly have 100mb files you can try (which won't take long at all on 20mb)

http://www.cachefly.com/

Here's a 1GB test:

http://test.gorillaservers.com/

Really what you could do is get a box with 100mb of bandwidth (whould be very cheap, think Linode or Digital Ocean) and just blast away at it.

Here's some 10GB+ reference genomes from NCBI:

ftp://ftp.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1000genomes/ftp/data/

Should have no problem maxing out a 20 Mb connection for an hour.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2013 16:29

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

e: never mind, this is stupid

# ¿ Dec 6, 2013 23:54

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

FISHMANPET posted:

System Center is licensed as a single product in 2012, if you have any component you've got them all. So see if there's anything in there you want to start leveraging. That goes for everybody.

The one exception to this is that if you have desktop licenses as part of your Enterprise Agreement, they do not cover any server installations of the same product in the same environment. (It makes obvious sense, but read: it's not a site license, folks!)

# ¿ Dec 10, 2013 06:42

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Recent dell laptops appear to be magical puzzle boxes. A tech has been trying to replace a screen for almost an hour now.

Dell techs are contractors working for Banctec, Unisys, or some other big field support company, so there's a non-negligible chance that the person you got just has no loving clue what they're doing.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2013 16:25

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Inspector_666 posted:

We've been having a seemingly never ending string of issues with Unisys techs at the moment, including one dude showing up for a job and being refused entry to the building because he looked so messed up.

That's messed up. The last batch of Unisys techs we got were doe-eyed and super-eager, brought in to rack and stack an Isilon cluster. The entire time, I got the feeling that they wanted to turn it on, set it up, and play with it, which is very much not what Unisys is contracted to the customer to do.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2013 17:42

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

evol262 posted:

{site_by_aiport}

So you're the rear end in a top hat that keeps getting people to name their NYC servers for NJ airports and well-known cities like New Orleans after apocryphal designations like "MSY"

# ¿ Dec 12, 2013 20:44

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

evol262 posted:

Who would use anything but NYC for NYC?

It's not a loving airport! :argh:

Yaos posted:

The problem that comes up is when you have multiple machines performing the same function, you could end up with a mess of servers all called "FileServer#". While it sounds good a person will have trouble remembering where each one is without looking it up. I suppose the bigger problem is when you have one server that performs multiple functions. You could have a single AD server at a remote site that handles everything; file server, print server, AD authentication, local email, etc. You could name it after the site, but the site could change names or move to another building, we've had sites change their names, we had a department change their name.

Assuming that you're talking about a CIFS environment, you shouldn't need to remember them at all. You should be using DFS and automatically mapping to the right server, and you should be mapping users' most frequently-used drives at login. If you're telling your users to go to Start->Run and type in an actual server name to get to their network share, something is wrong with the way that your organization approaches user experience.

There's no value in being completely anal-retentive about server naming, as though you're going to literally write a script that makes assumptions about servers by parsing the names of every server in your environment. There is no dichotomy between "S329694NJ2SL88" and "KASHYYYK" and there's plenty of room in between to do things that make sense.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2013 20:57

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

I got to spend this weekend figuring out how to get my two favorite things in the world, Pentaho BI and MongoDB, to play nice together! Yaaaay!

# ¿ Dec 16, 2013 01:46

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

evol262 posted:

NoSQL OLAP cubes? Amazing.

There's nothing more hilarious than normalizing NoSQL document data into table format to run BI queries against it.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2013 02:02

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

ookiimarukochan posted:

3DSecure is a loving stupid piece of security theatre though - is this the point to reveal that in my experience the worst programmers out there are the ones who work for banks? Weird as hell given what a slog it actually is (again, in my experience) to get a job working for one.

It's a disaster because of this, not in spite of it. I could write an entire book about how companies gently caress themselves over by being too stringent in arbitrary ways over who they hire.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2013 02:15

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Snuffman posted:

You know whats pissing me off? How clients submit tickets.

We have 2 ways. You can type up and submit it yourself through a web app, or call it into the help desk (and the help desk obviously attempts to resolve the issue, pages me out if they cant).

The web app is for low priority issues mostly. It even says on the page, if the issue is high impact CALL IT IN! Otherwise those tickets go to a generalized bucket with an assigned priority of LOW.

The clients keep submitting HIGH IMPACT issues through the LOW priority system, that could also be resolved by the helpdesk, or barring that have me paged out to fix it. Buuuut nooooo, I have to hear you chew me out on Monday about your SERVICE IMPACTING issue that "should have been fixed a day ago" because you're too goddamn lazy to pick up a phone and CALL someone that could have fixed the issue in minutes.

If you have to write "ASAP" in the ticket field, you're submitting it wrong.

Any reason you can't script your system to bump priority on tickets containing words like "urgent" or "ASAP" if you can't add a form field that makes the issue urgent? You've got the holy grail sitting right in front of you -- your users want to use the automated system instead of making someone on the other end of a phone type something in -- and you want the users and your helpdesk to do things the difficult way. What?

# ¿ Dec 30, 2013 05:28

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Volmarias posted:

The real solution is to post exaggerated SLAs on the form and state that urgent issues not escalated to phone support may not get the necessary attention, then rub that in the client's face if they try to say that you ignored them.

Bureaucracy and CYA is a nice middle finger to people who try to torpedo your career, but it's almost never healthy or the right thing to do for an organization. Use With Caution.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2013 05:52

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

MrMoo posted:

I saw it this week for determining compensation, my last job was self-employed so I put $30k.

I was more amused at having to list lifetime lines-of-code per language written.

code:

puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"
puts "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy"

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 19:33

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

McGlockenshire posted:

Apparently no emails were coming in and it took loving MONTHS for anyone to loving notice.

So do you guys not ever actually monitor anything or what

# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 19:56

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

TWBalls posted:

RE: Winterchat

This is why I love the California Bay Area. I think the coldest I've seen here in the Pleasanton/San Ramon area was about 28F. I think it was 45F this morning.

I love being able to walk around in a short sleeve shirt & shorts in Winter. Of course, all the wimps around here look at me like I'm crazy. Personally, I hate Winter because they constantly crank up the heat. So, you go from a somewhat cold climate to blazing hot. The worst part, is that they do this in they Gym as well.

On the other hand, winter coats do provide some degree of protection against earthquake rubble.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 22:48

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Volmarias posted:

And then around 3:30 I was done with orientation (for the day) and got to meet my coworkers, and apparently I'm going to be doing server-side development instead of iOS?

And then I find out that there's an on-call rotation

Most SaaS shops have an on-call rotation for developers. It's a remarkably effective way of keeping devs from just throwing undocumented, log-less poo poo code over the wall to operations. Back when I worked for Time Inc., we had more devs on-call than sysadmins at any given time (though they got called a lot less).

# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 04:12

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

hihifellow posted:

poo poo that soon won't be pissing me off daily... after almost 2 hours of negotiating, our contractor (the closest thing we have to a greybeard, only without the beard, and soon his own brewpub) has convinced the bosslady to upgrade the domain from 2003 to 2008 r2. We meet tomorrow to discuss what needs to happen and I am excited

You're upgrading to an operating system that's already two versions behind the current one? :raise:

# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 03:28

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

RadicalR posted:

No joke, if they ever did that here, I would be looking for another job. I hate ties with a burning passion.

Every team I've ever been on would make it a game of ugly tie one-upmanship if this unfortunate circumstance ever presented itself.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 22:40

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Inspector_666 posted:

The announcement specifically says they're not changing Join.me, I think they're planning on having that replace LMI Free even though they're not really similar at all.

Didn't they explicitly discontinue the Free product because they figured out the same time as everyone else that freemium never actually makes you more money?

# ¿ Jan 21, 2014 18:08

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Paladine_PSoT posted:

I would think this has something to do with the fact that yogurt is the result of a fermentation process, a byproduct of which is CO2.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2008/0211-science_of__snacking.htm

# ¿ Jan 21, 2014 20:58

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Bob Morales posted:

Pick your laptop up and go to Starbucks or another office.

Get headphones

Open offices blow

Talk to the person as though they're a literal human being

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 17:49

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

No Acct. Manager/PM/Field Tech It's not in $KnowledgeBase! I asked for help with getting a floorplan because it wasn't in $KnowledgeBase!

"Did you try just doing everything yourself before bothering me with this 15-second request?"

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 17:34

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Cenodoxus posted:

gently caress in-house developers. gently caress them forever.

Me: <open JIRA> Can you tell me which application uses [component]? We'd like to upgrade [component] but don't want to take down all of production to do it.

Developer 1: You need to kick out your users to do any upgrades. That is what we recommend. <close JIRA>

M: <reopen JIRA> But what application uses [component]? In the past we have been able to upgrade on-the-fly as long as no one's using [component].

D2: I don't care what you've done in the past. Kick everyone out. If you bother us again we're involving our team lead! <close JIRA>

Followed by a lecture about how it's not nice to reopen a JIRA. God forbid a lowly engineer wants you to answer one loving question. I pray you get your team lead involved so they can see first-hand how much of an unprofessional asshat you are.

You should get their team lead, and your manager, involved. If you want to be a total loving dick, but get the job done, also involve an advocate for all the impacted users.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 17:55

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

SEKCobra posted:

This is why I dont feel as part of devops. More like "Hey you can program too? Ok you are now in charge of all testing also no you cant have hardware or time for this. I also I need you to find me a tool for x."
"Hey theres a call and no one from Ops wants to go and you are just sitting there doing thing I dont understand. You go."
"What do you mean you were out on calls??"
I basically am expected to learn Java in our shared office/workshop/small parts storage on my own and without exemption from regular work. My boss even scolded me for "Poor work ethics trying to avoid going on calls" after he forced this on me.
Also I get no money for this either.
2 more years...

Yeah, so it's been said already, but none of this has anything to do with DevOps.

DevOps basically means two things:

People in the organization are accountable to themselves.
People in the organization are accountable to each other.

Breaking down silos doesn't mean breaking down roles. It means that if someone fucks something up and it means that someone else a) can't get their job done or b) has a living hell of a life now, it's their job to fix it. It was a methodology developed to fix one very specific problem: some cowboy shithead developer who circumvents QA and testing doesn't get to push code from their desktop to production on a Friday at 5 PM because, gently caress it, on-call ops will deal with it. If DevOps could be summarized in one sentence: it's your mess, have the common courtesy to loving clean it up.

There's a lot of small details that have come to be associated with the term: continuous integration, rigorous systems automation, in-depth monitoring and metrics collection, etc. These are details. It comes down to confidence in your work through confidence in the process: if you gently caress up, you should know before anyone else does. You should know you hosed up before it hits production. A user should never know somebody hosed up.

The term has gotten so oversaturated and stripped of meaning by incompetent half-measure practitioners that, like ITIL, I've stopped using it, but people should at least be aware of what it meant.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 22:52

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Che Delilas posted:

I'm again embarrassed for my industry that we had to come up with a specialized term for "personal responsibility" just for developers.

Every "new way of thinking" is an incremental change over the old way of thinking, with a veneer of marketing flash painted over it. The important thing is to get people excited about doing things the right way instead of doing the lovely thing because it's easy for a minute. If it takes psychological manipulation to make that happen, whatever, I'm game. Placebos still improve people's quality of life, and I'll happily have a dysfunctional organization take a sugar pill over cyanide.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 00:22

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Cenodoxus posted:

It would be nice to see a true DevOps approach sprout at my workplace though, so next time I encounter a developer going "LALALALALA gently caress YOU HAVE MORE DOWNTIME" I can forward all my angry client emails and phone calls to them.

Humorously, DevOps doesn't imply that organizations should have lovely incident management processes. In fact, what the smart people (Dave Zweiback, Mike Rembetsy, Mark Imbriaco et al.) in the DevOps community are doing is starting to kind of look like ITIL's version of incident management, which is kind of ironic.

Vulture Culture fucked around with this message at 05:33 on Feb 21, 2014

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 05:22

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Startups: move fast and break the dev branch and don't tell anyone about it

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 20:17

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

slightpirate posted:

I'm a little pissed that nobody thought to put file size limits on .pst files. So now, I have a user with 19.9 gigs of email in one file and Outlook is choking on it. Surely there's a good way to split that file up into smaller .pst files?

The file size doesn't matter that much as long as there's multiple indexes. Does the user have all that mail in a single folder? Tell them to move everything older than six months into a folder called Old Mail or something.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2014 15:53

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

You guys know that the way to deal with micromanagers is to talk and talk and talk and give unnecessary detail upon unnecessary detail until it's not worth their time to ask questions anymore, right?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 18:07

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Bob Morales posted:

I've tried flooding him with screenshots and graphs and stats and poo poo and he replies with

SO WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOW ME

THAT GRAPH ONLY SAYS 8MB HOW DO YOU KNOW ITS TEN

We got in a big email fight the other day and I told him his questions are so basic an repetitive that I wanted to know if he was just loving with me.

You're flooding him with data instead of just talking at him

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 21:50

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

SEKCobra posted:

Storages, which's rails aren't short enough to fit in a rack. (gently caress you Dell, all your other servers fit...)

Assuming you're using an enclosed cabinet like an APC NetShelter AR3100, have you tried moving the rear rail posts inside of the cabinet? Most vendors make them movable using an allen key shipped with the enclosure.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 18:43

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

NZAmoeba posted:

A vaguely recall one of the Scandinavian goons claiming they kayak'd to work across a river every day

Some of my wife's relatives live on an island in Maine, and once in awhile they do drag their car across Casco Bay on a huge raft (though they prefer the ferry when they can catch it).

# ¿ Apr 7, 2014 17:52

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

Why is it when you get picked up by one company all the places you were applying to when searching deem it "the perfect time" to try and contact you and try to bring you in?

Did you update your LinkedIn profile?

# ¿ Apr 8, 2014 13:07

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Crowley posted:

Someone tell me why a Twitter account could be important for anything.

I've found Twitter to be an incredibly useful tool for professional networking, actually. In the DevOps community particularly, most people of any particular importance usually have good stuff to say.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 12:32

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

I had an issue with a micromanaging team lead that was resolved by calmly and directly explaining how I work best, why I function that way, and how we can improve the productivity of the whole team if we communicate our expectations better to one another. For lots of managers, especially ones who are less emotionally intuitive but generally good people, this is plenty, and you don't always need to take the tough-guy "what you're doing is unacceptable" approach.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 16:10

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 23:53

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

nthalp posted:

Apparently 40 TB of archive, irreplaceable data needs to be given Read/write access to the entire company. "The data integrity must be maintained" however. Backups? No... Too expensive.

gently caress users.

Clearly the solution is to spend all day, every day, lobbying executive management to make each department a wholly-owned subsidiary

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 16:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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