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Yes kids drawings are fine.
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Oct 10, 2013 02:27
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:39 |
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I was a stay at home dad for some time. My girls had some choice turns of phrase. One of my favorite was when I was at a mom and dad's group (at home parents meeting) and my girls heard the moms discussing circumcision. They heard the word "penis" about 500 times. One of the twins piped up, " my dad's penis is HUGE!"
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Oct 10, 2013 02:48
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Suzuki Method posted:I have a question, I know there's a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in Korea but is there much NK hate among schoolchildren too? Not as much, at least not that I've heard thus far. I did have a kid in writing practice ("I like xxxx" and "I don't like xxxx") write "I don't like Kim Jong Un," but he also wrote "I don't like DIE" and he spelled "don't" wrong.
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Oct 10, 2013 02:49
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My friend's 2 year old daughter was being really cranky and obviously needed a nap. My friend remarked, "You're tired," to which his daughter replied, "I'm not tired, I'm Batman, and I'm in a forest."  Also overheard this joke between two 6-year-olds:  "Why did the kids eat their homework?" "Why?" Because they were African, and they were starving. Kids in Africa are starving. "Oh." "Do you get it?!"
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Oct 10, 2013 05:27
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Toriori posted:
I actually really like this. It's almost cubist. It might only make sense to me because I've played the game, though.
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Oct 10, 2013 05:31
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I have been a goon my entire life. As a little kid I was the ring bearer, at my cousin's wedding and in return for doing a good job I'd get a gameboy. Immediately after giving them the rings, I turned around stuck my hand out and demanded my gameboy. On the bright side, there's a cute picture of me sitting on the bride's lap explaining what a pokemon is to her, though.
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Oct 10, 2013 05:43
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Ugh. My mother still reminds me of a time she got pulled over for speeding by a police officer wearing a leather jacket. In my childhood excitement, I informed him, "LEATHER! Pick's mom loooooooooooooooooooves leather! Like a whip! " (I'd just seen Indiana Jones  )
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Oct 10, 2013 06:39
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My daughter is only 14 months old, but is already trying to make words because her much older siblings are teaching her constantly. Her word for our three cats is "keet". A few weeks back she was standing at our Hedgehog's enclosure and saying "keet! keet!" so we got him out for her to see up close. He didn't try to hurt her or act afraid but he's still a little pointy so when she tried to pet him she ran her hand against his quills and shouted "OW KEET!" and wagged her finger at him. Ever since then she happily stands at the enclosure saying "ow keet, ow keet" like she's singing a Barney song. We now only refer to him as "Ow Keet". Not sure what his opinion is on that.
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Oct 10, 2013 06:46
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My cousin, who is now a senior in high school, used to be scared to death of my father, which is perfectly understandable. Up until a few years ago, he had this massive beard, long hair that he always wear in a ponytail, and wore Ray Ban aviators (which he still does when he's not at work), so pretty much for a kid who is 2-3 years old, this is the scariest thing ever. When ever he goes to a supermarket to shop, whenever a kid whose being a typical kid sees him, they dummy up right away, causing the mother to ask him if he's willing to follow them around. Whenever he would walk in their house, she would turn and run the other way, with tears streaming down her face, yelling "The Man's here, the man's here." My uncle used to respond "That's no man, that's your uncle." Kids reactions are priceless sometimes.
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Oct 11, 2013 17:33
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Not so much a thing a kid 'said' but I was in the chip shop the other day and a young woman came in with a kid who couldn't have been older than just turned 2. He toddled straight up to the counter ignoring the queue as he was so excited about fish and chips. His mum caught up with him and said 'No, no, you've got to go around'. He pondered this for a second and did a 360 on the spot before looking back up at the counter expectedly 
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Oct 28, 2013 20:40
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I was walking down a main road of shops a couple of days ago and this little girl who must have been about 4 or 5 runs past me and gets about 10 feet ahead of me and turns to her mother who is just behind me and yells "Hurry up gently caress-pants!" (to which the mother didn't scold). It was just such a deliberate and wonderful insult.
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Oct 29, 2013 17:53
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I remember in primary school this kid (probably about 7 or 8) had been pooed on by a seagull, became really really angry, looked up to the sky whilst shaking a fist all red-faced and exclaimed "I'LL SUE YOOOOU". Wonderful moment.
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Oct 30, 2013 02:16
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My only memory of primary school was that I asked this kid named Jordan where he lived, and he (with hand motions) said "Down the street, turn, down the street, turn, down the street, turn, and then you'll see this house..."
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Nov 2, 2013 22:46
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Was on a bus one day, when this well-dressed, yuppie looking woman and her adorable, small, blond toddler get on the bus. The mom pays and is urging the little girl to hurry up. The little girl just says, "loving bitch!" I really could not believe my ears, but the surprised looks on everyone else's faces told me I hadn't been day dreaming.
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Nov 3, 2013 02:40
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A kid on the bus the other day told the driver he'd give him a ticket if he caught him speeding and then waggled his finger. He must have been about 5.
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Nov 3, 2013 23:43
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My five year old niece asked if she could have Xbox when I die.
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Nov 4, 2013 01:15
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My mom used to work with kids with behavioral problems in a facility that housed kids aged 7-17. Naturally, the younger ones picked up a lot of slang and swears from the older ones and used them. The funny part was that they didn't even know what half the words actually meant, just that they were used in anger. My mom was once told by a 7 year old that if she didn't let him [do something that he wasn't allowed to do because he lost his privileges] he would "throw [her] in a bitch-hole!"
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Nov 4, 2013 02:47
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I showed my third graders a video the other day, a weather report with puppets. At the end, the anchorpuppet asks the weatherpuppet "How's the weather on Mars?" which the second puppet responds to by quitting his job. I can't believe I just summarized that. And invented "anchorpuppet." Anyways, I was asking them how the weather was in various locations from the video, and as a joke, I asked about Mars. One kid responded with, "it is cold and DIE!"
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Nov 4, 2013 03:54
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The other day a friend asked my 3 year old son if he had a girlfriend yet. He responded "yeah!" and held up his left hand in a fist. I almost fell over laughing. One other - while we were trick or treating a little girl about 3 is coming the opposite direction and turns into the same house we are about to go to. My son walks up to her and says "Hi little monster!" My wife gasps and then says "no no, she's a princess!" "Oh, ok! Hi little princess!" And then they all happily went up to the house to trick or treat. Keystoned has a new favorite as of 04:14 on Nov 4, 2013 |
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Nov 4, 2013 04:06
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My 2 year old niece was handed a pirate napkin by her mum, as she walked away she said to herself "a pirate napkin! Hooray for me!" My husband and I have been saying "hooray for me" repeatedly ever since.
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Nov 4, 2013 05:46
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screenwritersblues posted:Whenever he would walk in their house, she would turn and run the other way, with tears streaming down her face, yelling "The Man's here, the man's here." My uncle used to respond "That's no man, that's your uncle." Kids reactions are priceless sometimes. Hehe, my dad brought out the same reaction in all of my younger cousins. He's a super intimidating-looking dude with a massive mustache and dark features. My youngest cousin called him "Uncle NOO" for like three years. A former boss of mine had a four year-old son who was the living personification of a perpetual motion machine. He was generally a good kid but could turn into a ridiculous hellion at the drop of a hat. The kid and his mom were hanging out at the restaurant I worked at one time, and the kid goes up to a customer waiting in line and just straight up punches him in the junk. Like, hard. Kiddo gets in huge trouble, and when I asked him later why he did it, he just said "to see what happened?" Fair enough, man.
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Nov 4, 2013 05:56
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"no mods no masters" - child, 1996
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Nov 4, 2013 11:25
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When my daughter was 4 or 5 we played the "I love you more than" game. We would name bigger and bigger things until one day she ended it with "I love you more than toilet paper." Where do you go from there? She's 15 now and we still say that.
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Nov 4, 2013 12:41
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My friends kid (about 4 yrs old now) has created this song to deal with the trials and tribulations of growing older and having more responsibilities. The song is titled "Growing Up loving Sucks." Same kid also has told me "I loving hate cops." She's this really sweet, calm adorable child, but goddamn she can be stone cold.
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Nov 4, 2013 17:27
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I used to be a nanny for three kids (two sisters and a brother). One day, the brother sat next to Sister #1 and yelled sister #2's name for about a minute straight, before sister #1 finally yelled "I'M NOT [sister #2]!" Sister #2 said lots of funny stuff like calling a burglar in The Sims a "boulder" even after I corrected her, and calling Reece's peanut butter cups "recess." She had this skirt that kept riding up in back and she said "why does this keep coming up, it's not like it has wings!" One time she saw my hairbrush laying out and told me "brush your hair. Then maybe it will look good." They all had like go-to excuses that became their catchphrases, so I ended up drawing ms paint caricatures of them and turning them into macros for their entertainment only.
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Nov 4, 2013 21:11
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My kid's almost 4 so I got plenty... I was teaching him to pee, so I had him watching me pee and when the water got all frothy he looked up at me with awe in his eyes and said "Daddy? You have bubbles in your winky?" And then when he started peeing he wanted it to be a group activity and would say "Daddy, let's go make bubbles together" Edit: Also he decided that his name is now "First Middle Last Star Wars" and that all superheros share a middle and last name with him. Wolverine Middle Last. Thor Middle Last. Silver Surfer Middle Last. omnibobb has a new favorite as of 21:58 on Nov 4, 2013 |
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Nov 4, 2013 21:51
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My younger nephew is nine, and has that young-kid grasp of history. Which led to this exchange between him and my dad:  : "Boppa, how old are you?" : "I'm about 63. Why?": "So, um, were you a kid when Ben Franklin was president?"I broke down laughing, his mom attempted to explain that Franklin was never president, his dad attempted to explain that Franklin was ~200 years older, and my dad just sorta got uncomfortable.
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Nov 4, 2013 22:13
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I was reading a bedtime story to my niece when she was 4. Generally she picked a story she'd heard before so she could interrupt with questions to stay up longer until her Dad would scold her. Anyway, one time I'm reading and she asks "Everyone dies someday, don't they? Will mummy and daddy die?" I don't want to lie to her and it's completely out of the blue, so taken completely offguard I say "yes, but not for a very long time". And you'll die? Yes. And [the cats]? Yes?... But not the wall. It doesn't have eyes or ears.She also confused the word "attic" with "future", so she was getting frustrated that her parents wouldn't show her the future where all the games were.
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Nov 4, 2013 22:19
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DrSnakeLaser posted:She also confused the word "attic" with "future", so she was getting frustrated that her parents wouldn't show her the future where all the games were.  The best I can do in light of this is when one of my cousins had the words "zucchini" and "bikini" confused when she was little, so her dad was utterly bewildered when she cried and cried that she couldn't find her favorite sparkly zucchini that she swims in.
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Nov 5, 2013 04:03
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I called those fancy white formal gloves "gladyses" (as in the woman's name Gladys) and no one knows why. My mom couldn't figure out what the gently caress I wanted when I whined I wanted gladyses just like Cinderella has.
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Nov 5, 2013 06:15
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My son doesn't understand the difference in beating someone (like in a race) and beating them up. This leads to a lot of weird looks when he finishes his dinner before the baby and says loudly "I beat Bailee up!"
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Nov 5, 2013 14:30
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I was visiting my friend, who lives with his sister and 6(?) year old niece. She did the usual sort of showing off to Uncle's guest by demanding his attention. She kept writing sentences about poop on small bits of paper and giving them to him. She also said "Uncle can I ask you a question? Um. Does my thumb look like a cheese?"
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Nov 5, 2013 21:02
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"As a child" I always hated the dentist, so I at some point (probably ~8) decided the best way to escape his evil exams was to shame him into an existential crisis and make him abandon his career. I opened with:"do you really enjoy scraping the bacterial feces off of people's nasty teeth for a living?" Haha, I thought, the day is won. Wrong. He shot back with "yeah, pretty much" without blinking, at which point I feel both saddened by my failure and confused that he foiled my plan. Then he finished with: "I became a dentist because my girlfriend told me I was good with my hands." At the time I was too young to get what he meant, but now it's both hilarious and awful, because his "good hands" were all up in my mouth.
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Nov 7, 2013 06:24
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I loved the creative things my students would come up with when I was student teaching. I should have taken more pictures. Especially of this lesson. I was teaching the kids to draw in 2 point perspective and let them design their own city corners and put whatever stores they wanted. The boys always came up with weird and funny things  I failed For Sale Go Away, I Lose  Fart Place The only thing we do is fart My fifth graders were doing an Asian scrolls lesson where the theme was nature. The students had to design borders that were nature-ish or organic shapes, feathers, leaves, tribal designs, pebbles...  or...bananas.... First graders did a design your dream house project and they had to include a room for every person who lived with them. Some included extra things for those who lived with them  Why all the bottles look like dildos, I don't know  And apparently someone's parents forgot to close the door I was sitting at work with the 4's kinda doodling and drew the star and moon and asked them what else I should add. The most jive 4 year old ever suggested I draw an owl wearing a hat and sunglasses while playing the guitar. She blew my mind with that super cool response. 
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Nov 7, 2013 09:25
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My older sister's children say the oddest poo poo. I was visiting yesterday and my sister always plays the radio while she cleans and what not. Of course, that Miley Cyrus song "Wrecking Ball" comes on. When it got to the chorus that usually goes "OH, YOU WR-E-E-E-E-CK MEEE" my five year old nephew just shouts out "YOU SWA-A-A-A-AGGER JACK ME". She also asked the two year old a question and he very calmly responded "Google it." My niece used to call her vagina a "quarter". Took us a while to realize she meant "cooter". The children also called my boyfriend, Patrick, "Spongebob's friend" for about a year."
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Nov 9, 2013 15:06
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My half brother when he was 4:: Adam, when you come to Toronto, do you want to go to the Royal Ontario Museum and see the dinosaurs? :YES!: You know it's only their bones, though. :...oh...
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Nov 10, 2013 16:22
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We were at a restraurant a week ago and my wife was wearing a low cut shirt. My six year old daughter looks at her and says "Mom, your boob crack is showing." I love me some boob crack!
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Nov 13, 2013 16:31
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When I was about 6 I went to get a haircut. I told the barber, "I learned that you don't need to be married to have babies! You just need to have flex!"
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Nov 13, 2013 16:35
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This is probably cheating as there were no words involved, but one day while I was pushing carts at Wal-Mart, there was this Indian (I believe) baby just flipping people off left and right and looking pleased as hell with himself. I stopped, staring for a moment, and the baby straight up shot me a double deuce. That was a pretty cool baby.
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Nov 13, 2013 20:00
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:39 |
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Lizard Wizard posted:This is probably cheating as there were no words involved, but one day while I was pushing carts at Wal-Mart, there was this Indian (I believe) baby just flipping people off left and right and looking pleased as hell with himself. I stopped, staring for a moment, and the baby straight up shot me a double deuce. Ugh, cool babies rock. I worked in a military clinic and was walking through a waiting area and there was a toddler chilling against a pillar and wearing sun glases. There was no immidiate parent around, but plenty of people in the waiting area so I figured this kid was being supervised. As I walked past I waved at the kid and he gave me a thumbs up.
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Nov 13, 2013 21:59
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