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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
Ah, another beautiful day in the womb.

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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

AngryCaterpillar posted:

It's rotten being on the first page; no one listens to ya.
"To overcome the first page curse, simply quote a Bible verse!"

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
Aww, but Lenny just got some bottle rockets!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Skeesix posted:

I have a scoop! The President-Elect failed second-grade gym class!
I would like to take this opportunity to express my fondness for Duff beer.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Cookie Kwan posted:

I'd also like to express my fondness for, uh, that particular beer.

gary oldmans diary fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Oct 9, 2013

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Skeesix posted:

Moe's their leader :downs:
Now that's Moe like it.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Deviant posted:

And finally, Kid Moe.
And Apu Nahasa... pasa... well just Moe, just Moe.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

IMJack posted:

I'm taking you kids to the happiest place on Earth! Tijuana!
IMJack, you can't judge a place you've never been to.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Drink-Mix Man posted:

I'd say he's coming OUT of the pep closet, heh, heh.
Why don't ya just nibble her elbow? That always melts her butter, right? Heh heh hah.

gary oldmans diary fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Oct 10, 2013

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Luigi Thirty posted:

Caramel... waffle batter... liquid smoke... mmm, fattening.
I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

And that talking pie was really just a talking dog!
Desserts aren't always right.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Striking Yak posted:

Ooh, floor pie!
Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

CatchrNdRy posted:

How could I stay mad at you?


This is all your fault!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Drink-Mix Man posted:

The crime-SOLVING boat.
That back-talking boat sets a bad example.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Deviant posted:

Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are fighting!
Hit him, Carl! You too, Lenny!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
Give me the drugs, Lisa.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

MondayHotDog posted:

Hey! Roark! Get back to work!
Look alive, HotDog. I'm not payin' you to gold-brick.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Here. This a-fell on the floor.
Bart, you didn't finish your spaghetti and Moe balls!
(Silence, you fool. It can be ours!)
Run, boy! Run! Run for your life! Boy!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Women's Rights? posted:

Your dinner's getting all cold and eaten!
What the hell happened to my dogs? I want answers.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Luigi Thirty posted:

Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though don't ever go up there.
♪ Fish heads, fish heads. Do-do do-do do do.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
We now return to "Blood on the Blackboard: The Bart Simpson story"! Starring Richard Chamberlain as Principal Skinner, Joe Montegna as Fat Tony, Jane Seymour as the woman he loved, and TV's Doogie Howser, Neil Patrick Harris, as Bart Simpson!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Not a Children posted:

Teacher, mother, secret lover
Oh, go eat some flowers!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Do over Ham posted:

I'm back here. Hi, will you bring me a sandwich? Please? No, no crusts.
This sandwich tastes so young and impudent.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Mister Kingdom posted:

Slow down! You're not on the moon yet!
You see, your crazy friend never heard of "the food chain".

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Drink-Mix Man posted:

If I know me, he won't like being kicked in the crotch...
To find flanders, I just have to think like Flanders.
(I'm a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater everyday, and )
The Springfield River!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

DrBouvenstein posted:

It was your moderator! :ninja:
...And it only transports matter?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Jerusalem posted:

Cookie.... your PNG is hurting me.... :gonk:
A sharper source of any help to you?

I'm seein' double here! Four screenshots!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

DrBouvenstein posted:

The other day, I caught Cookie trying to dissect her rain coat.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Frink posted:

In this thread we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
I don't understand it. There wasn't any nuclear material in that van.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Jerusalem posted:

I don't know what you have planned for tonight, but count me out!
Going bowling. Not back, avenge death.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

IMJack posted:

I get to clothe the leper! :haw:
We just move 1 space at a time. It's less fun that way.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Ainsley McTree posted:

It's not fair. My brother Hogburto has a sin to confess. I wish I had one too.
Oh lord, please give me the strength to endure Ainsley McTree's friendship.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Cookie Kwan posted:

What a crappy screencap. :cry:

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Luigi Thirty posted:

My geode must be acknowledged!

I have rocks that need washing at home.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
Marge! We need some more Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry Ice Cream!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
You know, Deviant, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when we first met.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
No. NO. NO! I can't just wallow in sadness. It's time to laugh again!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

MondayHotDog posted:

Although, you know, though I started my quoting career... several years before Do over Ham, so I could never really have learned anything... directly from him, still... I think, in a way, in a very meaningful way, that I... all-all of us, have, have learned... from him. And that is by being a clown on television for, for... for so many years. Even though many of us, we didn't watch his show. Uh, t-thank you.
Change the channel, Marge.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Luigi Thirty posted:

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?
Now it doesn't take a whiz to know that you're looking out for number one. Well listen to me and you'll make a big splash very soon.

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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Luigi Thirty posted:

And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

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