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TrixRabbi
Aug 20, 2010

Time for a little robot chauvinism!

Egbert, I like where you're going with a lot of these but I feel like you need to refine the ideas. They feel sporadic, and for all the really good parts there's slower sections where not much editing is going on, and I think we both know most of the original material is pretty hard to watch.

In the Trouble with Women video the sound editing was really harsh. Is there any way you could try to run some noise removal on that fuzz and tone it down a bit so the cuts aren't so jarring? As well, the jump cuts when the boy was talking with his father never felt natural, which is what these kinds of videos need to do. They should remix and distort the original material, but in a way that feels as though it's flowing properly. I'm assuming you've seen stuff by Everything is Terrible but they have a great grasp on getting their editing to flow (although they have a habit of dragging a bit on for too long).

Really loved the Dirty Cowboy bit though.

Personally, I'm a big fan of layering. I wish that in David Lynch's A Visit to Santa you'd do more with the insect footage. I didn't like that it cut away. Instead, they should fade into each other, maybe adding another layer or two. At the very least they need to fade back to Santa, not just end suddenly. Also, Santa in the parade was making me think of the Zapruder Film if you have any interest in going that angle.

I love what you did in your first video with the moving meat, and the xylophone player on top. I wanna see more of that type of stuff.

Overall, good stuff, lookin' forward to seeing more.

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TrixRabbi
Aug 20, 2010

Time for a little robot chauvinism!

Egbert Souse posted:

Thanks for the analysis. I honestly wasn't expecting this much of a critique!

Which sections seem slow? I hesitated to keep the unbroken shot of the penis names since it does run too long, but I hoped the surreality would justify it. I did shorten it slightly by covering the edit with the old guy ("Teaches must be able to use THESE words"), so perhaps I can cut a bit more down since she goes over the names again, anyways. The bit from "Sally" with the girls kind of runs long, but I thought the dialogue was silly enough to keep it somewhat intact (it's edited to about 50% of the original length of the scene in the original). As for the jump cuts in the boy asking his father, the source actually had a few jump cuts. One jump cut was utilized to shorten about a second or so, but looking at my edit file, I think my trimming is off by a few frames now. I was kind of hoping to make the child come off as more obnoxious, but the second "Yes?" does kind of stick out (even if it's only trimmed a bit from its original place).

I'm actually making some changes to the sex ed segment and it does seem to work better with smoother edits in places. I was sort of hoping the jump cuts would add to it, but it doesn't always seem to work.

I actually thought about the Zapruder connection on that one shot, too, so I might take it out for use in a different segment since there's already plenty of parade footage. Even with the slowing down, which is kind of annoying to me now since it really does drag. I'm thinking it needs to be reduced to about half its current length, then I can add more from the rest of the short that's odd. Perhaps the bizarre trip through Santa's village without narration.

As for sound quality... only the Santa, Shake Hands with Danger, and sex ed segments have proper level work (even if sound is still kind of rough). The bad levels on that video have bugged me, but I haven't gone back to that one yet. I'll definitely check back with more layering on Santa. The next one I want to do is more around hygiene films (like Lunchroom Manners, Soapy the Germ Fighter, Body Care and Grooming, etc).

What's funny is that the shot of the marimba player and the meat conveyor got the most laughs when the short was shown.

The bit with the teacher reading off the penis euphemisms was fine. The beginning of that one was really slow though. I know you trimmed down the homosexual menace video a lot, and the cuts were fine, but it felt a bit too long. Same with the boy asking his dad the questions, but you acknowledged that section needed some work. I like a lot of what you did later in the video, like with the girl being approached by the stranger in the car, and that Tim & Eric style editing of the close-up of the man to make his face twitch.

I think your class was right to laugh hardest at the meat xylophone because that part was hysterical and by far the best thing you've done out of any of these videos. You're making these films communicate with each other, and that's the perfect example of it. And I know you're trying to stay away from copyrighted material, but something like the Dirty Cowboy bit was fantastic, and I think a dash of outside sources could be helpful here and there. Also, completely up to you, but if you could somehow find some people at a table talking in a cafeteria to toss on to the end of the Dirty Cowboy bit, I think that would make it.

Speaking of that bit, I forgot to mention that I loved the editing of the beginning of the video, with the guy behind the desk and the dorky guy in glasses. The quick silent pauses reminded me a lot of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Great awkward humor.

I'd say keep doing what you're doing, just keep an eye on pacing. And when you start connecting these together, consider bringing them full circle and intertwining them. Looking forward to more!

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