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Egbert, I like where you're going with a lot of these but I feel like you need to refine the ideas. They feel sporadic, and for all the really good parts there's slower sections where not much editing is going on, and I think we both know most of the original material is pretty hard to watch. In the Trouble with Women video the sound editing was really harsh. Is there any way you could try to run some noise removal on that fuzz and tone it down a bit so the cuts aren't so jarring? As well, the jump cuts when the boy was talking with his father never felt natural, which is what these kinds of videos need to do. They should remix and distort the original material, but in a way that feels as though it's flowing properly. I'm assuming you've seen stuff by Everything is Terrible but they have a great grasp on getting their editing to flow (although they have a habit of dragging a bit on for too long). Really loved the Dirty Cowboy bit though. Personally, I'm a big fan of layering. I wish that in David Lynch's A Visit to Santa you'd do more with the insect footage. I didn't like that it cut away. Instead, they should fade into each other, maybe adding another layer or two. At the very least they need to fade back to Santa, not just end suddenly. Also, Santa in the parade was making me think of the Zapruder Film if you have any interest in going that angle. I love what you did in your first video with the moving meat, and the xylophone player on top. I wanna see more of that type of stuff. Overall, good stuff, lookin' forward to seeing more.
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Jun 19, 2014 19:54
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Egbert Souse posted:Thanks for the analysis. I honestly wasn't expecting this much of a critique! The bit with the teacher reading off the penis euphemisms was fine. The beginning of that one was really slow though. I know you trimmed down the homosexual menace video a lot, and the cuts were fine, but it felt a bit too long. Same with the boy asking his dad the questions, but you acknowledged that section needed some work. I like a lot of what you did later in the video, like with the girl being approached by the stranger in the car, and that Tim & Eric style editing of the close-up of the man to make his face twitch. I think your class was right to laugh hardest at the meat xylophone because that part was hysterical and by far the best thing you've done out of any of these videos. You're making these films communicate with each other, and that's the perfect example of it. And I know you're trying to stay away from copyrighted material, but something like the Dirty Cowboy bit was fantastic, and I think a dash of outside sources could be helpful here and there. Also, completely up to you, but if you could somehow find some people at a table talking in a cafeteria to toss on to the end of the Dirty Cowboy bit, I think that would make it. Speaking of that bit, I forgot to mention that I loved the editing of the beginning of the video, with the guy behind the desk and the dorky guy in glasses. The quick silent pauses reminded me a lot of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Great awkward humor. I'd say keep doing what you're doing, just keep an eye on pacing. And when you start connecting these together, consider bringing them full circle and intertwining them. Looking forward to more!
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Jun 20, 2014 18:21
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