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Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

the JJ posted:

Clearly the problem is someone is doing a LLM run with Leicester

It's not a real English LLM unless it's a non-league team :colbert:

Speaking of Leicester, it looks like one of our poster's FM universe is merging with ours

Revenant Threshold posted:



And promptly started trying to poach players from teams who weren't paying them what they were worth, i.e. me, the bastards.

I think the real owners are Thai though.

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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Sorry, I've been busy these last few months whipping Mahrez, Kante, and Vardy into shape. I told you that offseason field trips helped build team unity!

I think the real issue is that I've played right up to the start of the World Cup and now am worried about failing. Especially since IIRC we lost two of our three tune-up matches against relatively easy teams. I probably shouid have ended things after winning the septuple, because I really didn't consider how freaking hard it would be to win the World Cup as the USA, and anything less than a World Cup will be (rightly) seen as a dent on my legacy. Heck, even Bruce Arenas made it to the Quarters.

This weekend I'll finish my career as coach, one way or the other. It may take a bit longer to write things up.

PS: Paul Williams is the David Moyes of our little universe. Ugh.

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


Can't wait to see this finished up, you can blame any failures on Sunil Gulati and or MLS

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

habeasdorkus posted:

Sorry, I've been busy these last few months whipping Mahrez, Kante, and Vardy into shape. I told you that offseason field trips helped build team unity!

I think the real issue is that I've played right up to the start of the World Cup and now am worried about failing. Especially since IIRC we lost two of our three tune-up matches against relatively easy teams. I probably shouid have ended things after winning the septuple, because I really didn't consider how freaking hard it would be to win the World Cup as the USA, and anything less than a World Cup will be (rightly) seen as a dent on my legacy. Heck, even Bruce Arenas made it to the Quarters.

This weekend I'll finish my career as coach, one way or the other. It may take a bit longer to write things up.

PS: Paul Williams is the David Moyes of our little universe. Ugh.

Alex Ferguson didn't get past the group stage in 1986 though. :smug:

Dispersal
Nov 5, 2005

habeasdorkus posted:

Sorry, I've been busy these last few months whipping Mahrez, Kante, and Vardy into shape. I told you that offseason field trips helped build team unity!

I think the real issue is that I've played right up to the start of the World Cup and now am worried about failing. Especially since IIRC we lost two of our three tune-up matches against relatively easy teams. I probably shouid have ended things after winning the septuple, because I really didn't consider how freaking hard it would be to win the World Cup as the USA, and anything less than a World Cup will be (rightly) seen as a dent on my legacy. Heck, even Bruce Arenas made it to the Quarters.

This weekend I'll finish my career as coach, one way or the other. It may take a bit longer to write things up.

PS: Paul Williams is the David Moyes of our little universe. Ugh.

Just play the Witcher 3. Or OOTP. Which I am struggling to get in to, despite a lifetime obsession with baseball and fantasy baseball.

Finnish Flasher
Jul 16, 2008
Bump. Also I noticed in my save that some non-megabastard countries, in this case Japan, have no actual players in their national team. What gives? They have a lot of good player in Europe, why then is the national team filled with grays?

edit. Another thing, I'm having trouble keeping my best player happy as bigger teams want to buy him and thus his morale is abysmal. Should I give in at this point and just sell him? Won't his performance be poo poo with morale that low?

Finnish Flasher fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Apr 12, 2016

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Finnish Flasher posted:

Bump. Also I noticed in my save that some non-megabastard countries, in this case Japan, have no actual players in their national team. What gives? They have a lot of good player in Europe, why then is the national team filled with grays?
Apparently that's due to licensing issues. The same thing occurs for the German, Chinese and South Korean teams.

If I was a good enough writer I'd be writing fake TRP or other football community posts during the rise of Wrexham to hold the thread until the LP either gets finished or put on LParchive. Of course I don't think anyone would notice the until they got to the Championship.

Finnish Flasher
Jul 16, 2008
Ah I see, thanks for the info. I assume all regens will get selected though?

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)
It's an easy as hell thing to fix, some of the Real Name Fix mods like this one fix it, while also replacing the names of all competitions and teams.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Life imitates art or something like that.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/35988673

beru04
May 4, 2013

Stop making me realise things.
Thank god for that, now Habeas can get back to the LP

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Chapter the Seventh: All the ducks in a row.
October 17, 2029-May 26, 2030

So the last time this updated, almost 10 months ago, the United States National Team had a harder time than it should have qualifying for the World Cup, and Rodrigo Moctezuma tore up his cruciate ligaments, which seems like a special “screw you” moment from the game.



I'm not sure that we should be in such high spirits considering that we only finished qualifying for the World Cup in our final match, we squandered a two goal lead in a grudge match against Mexico, and our best player will miss the rest of the club season and will at most be just barely given a clean bill of health when the World Cup comes around.



We only have one friendly before the World Cup training camp begins, and that will be against Brazil, who are typically excellent. A draw against them would be an improvement over how the USMNT has managed in the past.



Darren Latham will be out for that match, which is fine consider he's 34 and I'm hoping that some young player can come out of nowhere to steal his role on the squad over the coming season.



Well aren't you special.



Stupid sexy Stringel.



Our stumbles against the chaff of CONCACAF means we're going to be in pot two when the World Cup draw occurs. I was really hoping to sneak into pot one to avoid matching up against a Germany or Spain in the group stage.



The next half year is mostly going to be reading about potential members of Team USA getting injured. That is not going to be fun.



Not fun at all.



Oh come on, it's only October 31st and already there's been three injuries. The less time the players are healthy the less chance they have of improving their game.



Well, at least that's not a bad injury.



OK, that's it, I'm going on vacation.



I'll be back for the World Cup draw.



I wonder if anyone will knock off the King?



It's not like anyone can complain about the results he's currently getting.




You can thank me for developing the greatest player in Mexican history by rolling over and dying if you play us this summer.



It takes until mid-November for a manager to finally get canned in the premier league. I'm surprised no team has tried to lure me back into the club game since I retired.



More injuries, that makes five different players going down in the seven weeks between our last match and the draw.



The blossoming of Paredes gives us two quality attacking options, should Moctezuma be able to come back quickly from his injury.



Uruguay and Jamaica round out the World Cup field, and we're just weeks away from the draw.



Meanwhile, half the Ballon d'Or frontrunners is made up of Wrexham players. I'd love to see Shirra win, he's been a great player forever but has almost always been considered a step less than Meteor and now apparently String.



Of course, that doesn't stop me from voting for Stringel and Mujkic over him.



The stadium now seats nearly 50,000, meaning that a full 3/4ths of Wrexham's population can attend the match.




And it turns out about that many people are willing to pay full freight to watch their Dragons dispatch Braga. Which is good, because stadium expansions are not cheap, and they'll need the money to pay off the loans.



Finishing 2nd in the group isn't that great, but the club advances without much difficulty.



I'm all for our best players playing for consistent Champions League clubs, just so long as they don't see him as a backup and keep them from getting regular playing time.



I'm also all for our best players holding out for the best possible contract, or making sure that they can get transferred up from a decent Serie A squad to a top flight one.



C'mon, no whammies.



We're going to get matched up with one of Germany, Spain, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, England, Colombia, or France. France or Colombia will be the easiest to beat, but I've got a feeling we're going to end up in a group of death.



Well poo poo. Not only do we have the defending champion Germans, but we have a pretty solid Portugal side AND one of the best African national teams to contend with. So much for an easy draw where I could focus on getting the team playing well.





Groups A, B, and F are groups of life, while I think it's fair to say that ourselves and Portugal have most reason to complain about our draw. Interestingly enough, this is very similar to the draw the United States faced in the 2014 World Cup, just swap out Egypt for Ghana and it would be identical.



Eff that, our players are going to need fitness more than anything else.




Puerto Rico is the epitome of a match only being played to improve fitness. Israel is slightly harder, and we'll need to beat them if we want to beat a team like Egypt.



Of course, we can't make it too easy on the lads, they will have to play Germany after all.



: Woah, you got us Real Madrid's training facilities for the World Cup?

: Uh.

: Oh, ok, Atletico is great too.

: Well...

: Rayo Vallecano? You struck us with a Liga Adelante club?

: Look, I'm sure you'll be very happy with the choice.



: Who in Emperor Trump's name is Internacional de Madrid?!



The real life US high was #4 in 2006. Then we promptly shat the bed/got screwed by Italy and the refs at the 2006 World Cup.



Welp, time to go see if they've restocked my hunting preserve on the Isla de Me. I hunt only the most dangerous game, high frequency trading algorithms.



I'll of course have my assistant record the final for me, then watch it and submit a five minute UberTube clip of it for me to watch in my GooBer self-flying jet.



That's fine, just don't retire before the World Cup.



Ah, awards season. Even missing the final two months of the year can't keep Moctezuma from winning another of these. And he's only 21!



This would be more impressive if they were competing against the Landon Donovans and Clint Dempseys of real life than the schmoes the AI ran out there for a dozen years before I could take over.




No shock there, but this makes the third time in four years that a Wrexham player has won the Ballon d'Or. Considering that someone won a sole award at my time in Wales, perhaps the reasoning behind those snubs was “with such a great coach how can anyone tell if the players are actually any good?”



: Another one?

: Yeh, I guess I'm going to need a new trophy case just for them. I'll deal with it in the arvo.



My late purchases are still paying dividends in Wales!



Woah.



I'm less excited about this, Parsons won't be more than a backup at Barca. He needs playing time!



Good job, Paul. Don't waste the foundation I provided you.



Boo, I want extravagant promises! Though since you just handed out a £290,000/week contract to String I guess that probably would be extravagant to anyone else.



The locals apparently agree.



What, another cast off from overseas who can't even crack a B team?



He's still as good or better than a guy like Rubio de la Fuente, and has an easier name to remember as well.



So now that it doesn't matter we're improving in the FIFA rankings... I see how it is.




Ah crud. Clavijo isn't that great but he's one of the few natural left wingers in a pool of players that has a surfeit of right wingers. More worrying than the injury is that he's not getting playing time in the Austrian league.



You know what a good end to your career would be? Yeah, the same thing that would be a good end to mine.



What? Knocked out in the fifth round! At the Red Keep?!



So much for replicating the septuple.




The march to a sextuple is still on, at least.



: Nice work. But that's all it is. Don't screw up my legacy.




Ugh. I may be forced to play an inverted right winger out there. Our other options are Championship player Dave Rusling of Everton and the ageless Sinan Ulusal, who's still bopping around at 34 years old.



I think String might win the World Cup for Mexico all on his lonesome...



Great. If only we'd been ranked 8th three months ago when we were seeded for the draw.



Medina is having a solid season at the ripe old age of 21 in the Bundesliga. He's pushing to be named one of my first choice attacking midfielders barring a serious injury. Sadly this comes just before our throwdown with Brazil in Philadelphia, so I won't get to see how he meshes with the squad before training camp begins in May.



Welcome to America, Mr. Spinetto.



And welcome to the starting eleven! Wow, talk about serendipity. He's definitely better than anyone else we could put between the sticks.



Prior to the team meeting up for our match against Brazil, I pulled together a counter-attacking strategy that aims at frustrating superior teams with discipline and relies on our speedy wings to make plays and grab goals. I bumped tempo up to high after this screenshot, I don't want to give opponents too much of the ball and end up merely bunkered in our own end for long stretches at a time.



“You're missing two key players of your starting eleven, guys who play for Real Madrid and Barcelona, but you're getting back a guy who plays in the Scottish Prem! Totally evens things out, right?”



I am really unsure how that back line is going to hold up to the Brazilian attack. Lozano and Wood wouldn't make any other good team in the world.



Hey, he scores goals by the bunches in Belgium. It's not like we have a ton of depth with Moctezuma out.



And at best Moctezuma won't be back until the start of May.




How dare you! I am the only reason the United States is more than a punchline on the world stage, and you deny me a guy who you're just going to get hurt playing on a ragged rear end MLS pitch against Real Salt Lake?



I'm not sure Darren could go longer than 45 minutes if I wanted him to.



We're entering the final matches of my career. Don't let me down, boys.



The United States men sport an all time record of 1 win and 19 losses against Brazil when counting our two alternate universe losses. Pulling off a draw will feel like a win.



We had a bare possession advantage and held the Brazilians to mostly long range efforts. That's a very good result against a Brazil team that finished second in South American qualifying and only lost three out of eighteen matches.



Happy to have you, Hector. Just don't let the God Emperor know that you're not from Italy.



Ok now, don't get hurt in the next month and a half.




Huh, that seems like Wrexham is handling the league...



Or not. After starting with 11 wins in 13 games, they've won just 9 of 19. I am not pleased, Paul.



And why do you keep giving out short contracts to guys I had on long term cheap ones? Especially when they're nowhere close to ready for senior team action? That's it, we need to have a talk. I'll be at the game on Saturday.




Now don't make me repeat myself, y'hear?



A win by away goals is still a win.



But you better thrash those damned Gunners unless you want me to start pointing out all the ways you're letting down the club to the media.



Also, seriously, what the hell are you doing with Reed? He never ever behaved that way when I was coach.



Good, things seem back on track.



Now if you'll excuse me, I have to head down to a goddamned semi-pro club's dugout in a public park to put together the United States World Cup team.



At least this injury was predictable, but we're back down to ½ of a decent centerback.



Moctezuma is still at least a month from being healthy. He'll have no ability to play a full match even when he gets cleared to play, and I'm worried that he's going to miss our pre-Cup friendlies



I can't turn my back for one minute, now can I, Paul?




I hope a reporter calls me up to ask my opinion on this calamity. I won't be mouthing nice, supportive words this time around.



Instead, they're only interested on when Moctezuma will be back. Right now it's May 29th, he won't be able to dress for the Puerto Rico friendly.



Maybe things would be going better if you'd held onto Zouaghi instead of cashing him in for four mediocre defensive midfielders.



Keep this up and you're going to lose the league, too.



Can't you see I'm busy thinking furiously mean thoughts at my hand-picked replacement?




Arrrgh.



I can't think of any point in my career as a manager where my club slouched to such an abject finish. This is all on your head, Paul. I wash my hands of you. And I'm not the only one.




: But, Coach, you did make sure that he was the one who followed you...

: Shut it.



You couldn't take home a major prize even with the best player in the world on your side.



You couldn't even hang onto my ludicrous crop of young talent so that some damned Scot doesn't take home the Young Player award.



Oh come on! He only got to play one match for us!



It happens right before I was about to make the calls for the preliminary squad, too.



Who did you ignore during a post-game press conference to make them all hate you, Danny?



You're baffled? Have you looked at my centerback options? A dude with 14/13 marking/tackling is good enough to make camp, because our defenders mostly stink.




Time to buck up the players who are on the edge of the squad.




Cause of injury for Bennett? Rusted shower curtain in the “locker room.” I'm pretty sure that someone in the heirarchy of USA Soccer is trying to screw me. Why else would we be stuck using the facilities of a 6th division semi-pro team?



This time it was a gopher hole on the pitch. I don't think gophers are even native to Europe.



Back strain from having to carry water into the clubhouse because the pipes stopped working, again. This is actually a blessing in disguise, Quinn was never going to get on the pitch and Ramirez has recovered enough that he could be ready by the Group Stage.



We've got nine players who need playing time before they'll be ready to play real matches. I've got no problem playing one of our three friendlies against a pushover.



I'm trying to cap the greatest story in the history of sports, from the funeral games of goddamned Patroclus to Leicester City winning the Premier League, damnit. Stop making it harder than it already is!



Final cuts are here, and only Clavijo and Spinetto are so badly hurt that they're going to miss the tournament entirely.



So much is going to depend on how quickly Moctezuma can get back into playing shape, and if our ragged back line can prevent us from being scored on at will. We should advance from the group stage, but being grouped with Germany and two fairly solid international sides in Portugal and Egypt means that we won't be able to take it for granted.

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)
Euros and Copa America get you back in the mood, habeasdorkus?

An update worthy of this thread!

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
I finally transferred the game files over to the computer I built this past winter, and i was tired of DOOM crashing in Lazarus Labs.

beru04
May 4, 2013

Stop making me realise things.
It returns! :getin:

All or nothing, eh Habe?

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Wooo it's back!

I was worried this would be autolocked.

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.
Glad to see you back but drat those injuries.

KDavisJr
Jul 17, 2010

A real avatar never dies, even when it's replaced!
It has been so long I kinda forgot how much US squad blows, but holy poo poo those injuries! Your guys might have improved somewhat to have a chance if healthy but considering US Men's Soccer gives less of a gently caress than Andrea Moda did to Perry McCarthy*, and your team seems to have a problem closing, you'd be lucky to finish 3rd in the group.

*Ok That might be a stretch. They haven't tried to kill you yet.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
I would be pleased for the return of my favourite LP, but I will be spending the next week or so recovering from the fact that Wales topped Group B of the Euros.

Munin
Nov 14, 2004


Brony Hunter posted:

I would be pleased for the return of my favourite LP, but I will be spending the next week or so recovering from the fact that Wales topped Group B of the Euros.

And deservedly too.

I now want Iceland to win their final match. An NI upset would also be highly amusing (but even more unlikely).

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Interlude Part 1: The Year in Football/Futbol/Fußball/Calcio/Soccer, 2029-2030
May 26, 2030

Now that I'm running this on a modern desktop with a solid state drive instead of a creaky, five year old, refurbrished laptop, I'm going to be bringing all the leagues back into the game so that we can see what happens to them as I age from Icon into Legend in retirement. So if you want to see how the Turkmenistani league is doing, all you have to do is ask. I'm pretty sure FM14 doesn't have the Turkmeni league, so that's all you'll be able to ask.

Part 2 will be a rundown of the US Mens National Team, a/k/a USMNT a/k/a US Mutant Ninja Turtles, but I don't quite have that section ready yet and want to prove that unlike George RR Martin I'm really truly making progress towards an end. So here's how everyone unimportant did in the world of Football/Futbol/Fußball/Calcio/Soccer v.2029-2030.

United States



Portland also won the Cascadia Cup, so there was much to cheer in the lower Pacific Northwest. Too bad the microbrew bubble burst of 2027 has left the entire place a ghost town.

Europe


We all know how this went.



It's not incredibly easy to see how things went so wrong, though. The team as a whole played very well over the season. I'm guessing the 11 red cards is what did them in, though. Perhaps I should have thought a bit more about Paul Williams having a 5 in Discipline before handing the keys of a teenage Lamborghini over to him.



Blackburn, the former Premier League champions of 1995, are going to League One for the first time since 1980. Where are you now, Alan Shearer? I mean, you're 70 years old but you're probably still able to sock a few goals past League One keepers. Meanwhile, Crewe Alexandra are coming to the top division for the first time in a history that began in 1877.



We also know how this went, but at least Southampton went all the way to Wembley after topping us.



Oh hey, a trophy. We're all very impressed. :jerkbag:



Barcelona appears to have recovered from their swoon which saw them fall from regularly contending for La Liga's title and the Champions League crown. All because they now have American superstar Isaac Parsons, I'm sure.



Ternana don't even appear to be owned by a foreign billionaire. Nicely done, Italian doppleganger. :golfclap:



Wolfsburg has now won three of the last four Bundesliga titles. Break up Neu Bayern!

Continental Tournaments


Fans of the Gunners can't really believe it. They're not supposed to win anything other than St. Totteringham's Day, the Arsenal Participation trophy, and occasionally an FA Cup! Somewhere Arsene Wegner wakes up in a cold sweat, and buys another attacking midfielder.



I kind of want to upgrade to the newer versions of Football Manager, and probably will in the next year or so if I start a new campaign, if just so the winner of the Europa League will get their spot in the next years Champions League.



Atlas of Mexico have been awesome these last couple of years, with a ding-dong 3-3 draw in their home match of the Libertadores final and then a brutal loss that saw Recife put the match out of reach in the final 10 minutes of the first half with three unanswered goals.

International



I think we all remember how this went. :smuggo:



I think we also remember what happened here... Stupid Sexy Stringel.

Next up will be the USMNT rundown, and then I will finally get around to meeting my destiny, one way or another, at the 2030 World Cup.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 21, 2016

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


So wait you sure it's not a glitch that arsenal didn't collapse in the Champions League

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

LionYeti posted:

So wait you sure it's not a glitch that arsenal didn't collapse in the Champions League

Well after this EPL season and to appease AJ Impy if he's still reading, all of Arsenal's accomplishments and failures are now Leicester's.

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


Yeah its even more impressive post goonerdamerung

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
Still say you should've destroyed them when we had the chance. :colbert:

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011

Dreamsicle posted:

Well after this EPL season and to appease AJ Impy if he's still reading, all of Arsenal's accomplishments and failures are now Leicester's.

Speaking of Leicester, what league are they in right now?

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

TKBomber7285 posted:

Speaking of Leicester, what league are they in right now?

I'm going to guess League One. Which means Arsenal is there now thanks to my condition.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Meet the US National Team, v. 2030!

The Partizan Project has paid some very nice dividends, the US now has more quality attacking players now than in all of their previous iterations combined, but we're pretty weak in the back. I am all for any advice on who should start and who should sit, I don't see a good way to get Hunter Fisher, Andrew Paredes, Joey Garcia, and Rodrigo Moctezuma on the pitch at the same time.

Goalkeepers:




The weakness starts between the posts, where the aging Pasquale Paladino will probably get the nod over new team member Gorka Lopez.



The only way Delgado is getting used is if both Lopez and Paladino go down. If that happens we're probably screwed anyways.

Centerbacks:

The problems continue with a very limited set of centerbacks, especially considering the best one is still currently making his way back from a double hernia.




Chris Ramirez is easily the most skilled centerback we have, I'm honestly stunned at how good he is given how often he's been hurt, but he's made of glass and unlikely to play until late in the group stage. Darren Latham is in the twilight of his career and isn't useful in the air anymore, even if he's the most mentally astute of our options. Latham also has to cover the right back spot if anything happens to Isaac Parsons.






Of the rest, Sam Wood is fast and tall but doesn't have the anticipation, concentration, decisionmaking chops, or teamwork to be trusted not to cock things up, Scott Stevens is a Championship quality centerback, and both Matt Herrera and Pablo Ramirez are MLS lifers who have some not awful attributes but whose lack of pace worries me against world class players. I wish I had John Anthony Brooks, at least the version who showed up at this years Copa America.

Fullbacks:

Right back is where we have our first team-member who I feel could play on almost any nation's squad.




Erik Ramirez is largely on the squad because he racks up very good performances despite lacking much by way of speed or technical attributes. He's sadly the best of a poor set of options at left back. His counterpart is Mark Bartlett, who is a defense-only player who I'd consider starting if he had more stamina.



Meanwhile, Isaac Parsons plays for Barcelona, and started more than half of their matches when healthy. He's got glorious physical attributes, very good technical attributes for a defender (Passing 17!) and his work rate and positioning means that he'll seldom get caught totally out and unable to recover once you account for his speed. So long as he's healthy this is the one defensive spot I don't need to worry about.

Central Midfielders:

Here's the strength of this team, which is kind of shocking considering that the US has struggled for decades to develop highly technical, visionary midfielders. Now I have three.




Xavier Hughes doesn't have much pace but has world class field vision, and is strong enough and astute enough defensively that he'll be able to muscle the ball off opponents in the midfield. With Bobby Padilla out we don't have a real defensive midfielder on the squad, so Xavier's going to have to take on additional duties. He's backed up by Isaias Hartman, who isn't fit to hold his jock.




Keith Coleman and Casey Medina will share the attacking-minded midfielder role. Neither are as technically polished as Hughes, but they are both his superior physically. Each possesses good speed, and have a level of flair and/or creativity not usually seen in American players. If we play in a 4-2-3-1, which will probably happen against Egypt at least, expect to see Coleman in a trequartista style role.



Even Matt Brown has a silky first touch, is a devotee of pinpoint passing, and possess devastating accuracy from range, all to go along with the type of pitch-sense that I'm not sure any American before this crop ever possessed. And he's the backup!

Wingers:




Sinan Ulusal is 34 years old and in the twilight of his career... and even with his failing physical skills he's the best we have who plays regularly on the left side. Which means I'm probably going to have to play Hunter Fisher as an inverted winger despite his complete lack of a left foot. He's not going to win any footraces, but he's our leader and we're going to need him to ping in some crosses and corners.



Andrew Paredes, on the other hand, is the second best player on the squad behind Moctezuma, and only a year older than the Real Madrid man. Paredes is still very raw mentally, but his technical skills are very good and his physical assets are excellent. He was good enough on loan at Gladbach to be named best right winger in all of the Bundesliga, and we're going to need him to live up to that billing.

Strikers:


Daniel Bennett is the Chris Wondolowski of this team. If he's our starting striker it means that something very bad has gone wrong.



Joey Garcia is a perfectly acceptable striker. He notched 11 goals in Serie A with Fiorentina, and along with Paredes are proof that the Partizan Project worked. He won't set the world on fire, but he's at least good enough to get playing time.



Finally, we come to the great American hope. He was worth every penny of the £15m we paid for him as a 16 year old, forcing his way into the in-game Best 11 before that lackwit layabout Paul Williams sold him for £30m to Real Madrid, who have made a habit of collecting former Wrexham attackers. He's still out for two days, and will be limited in his early appearances, but I need him if I'm going to bring America to new heights of international glory.

fucking love Fiona Apple
Jun 19, 2013

samus comfy so what

What are Paul's coaching stats?

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006
And the welsh are through in euros. A good day for the dragons.

tanglewood1420
Oct 28, 2010

The importance of this mission cannot be overemphasized
I'd be tempted to play Sam Wood at left back. He has the pace you may need on the wing against speedy attackers and also to give you an outlet on overlaps on that flank considering Unsal is old and slow so won't be able to track back too much. His mental frailties should be less of an issue in wide areas, plus he also gives you some height on set pieces both attacking and defending which looks important as your squad generally seems to lack players with aerial prowess. Of your probable starting eleven only Ramirez is strong in the air, Hughes and Garcia are decent and everyone else is below average at best.

tanglewood1420 fucked around with this message at 13:09 on Jun 26, 2016

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!
So how 'bout that 2nd Brexit? I think it's been nearly a thousand years since England was last ravaged that badly by Norsemen.

JustJeff88
Jan 15, 2008

I AM
CONSISTENTLY
ANNOYING
...
JUST TERRIBLE


THIS BADGE OF SHAME IS WORTH 0.45 DOUBLE DRAGON ADVANCES

:dogout:
of SA-Mart forever

The Sandman posted:

So how 'bout that 2nd Brexit? I think it's been nearly a thousand years since England was last ravaged that badly by Norsemen.

I take it that you didn't see the England/Iceland euro match today?

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!

JustJeff88 posted:

I take it that you didn't see the England/Iceland euro match today?

That was the 2nd Brexit I was referring to.

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

The Sandman posted:

That was the 2nd Brexit I was referring to.

As a Brazilian, England reminds me that you can always fall farther. It's like football Ozymandias.

archduke.iago
Mar 1, 2011

Nostalgia used to be so much better.

Dias posted:

As a Brazilian, England reminds me that you can always fall farther. It's like football Ozymandias.

1-7

Dias
Feb 20, 2011

by sebmojo

Hey, that's still 1-7 in a World Cup semifinal.

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

In a strange way I think Football Manager semi-actually accurately portrays America's hosed up development system, it seems every regen intake year all the lovely PDL/MLS Academies/Other spawn something like 10-20 guys with a potential ability of 150+ (What Donovan or Dempsey were). The problem starts though as they all play for these terrible unsimmed teams so they only marginally develop until they hit 22 and get drafted by an MLS team who never plays them because they are worse than what they can find around the league (until the existing players retire). So they bounce around waiver lists until they retire, or they get good enough to earn starts, but by then they are 28 and its too late for them to fulfill their sweet starting EPL player potential.

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!
So it looks like this LP and real life have something in common: a team Wales can be proud of.

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Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

The Sandman posted:

So it looks like this LP and real life have something in common: a team Wales can be proud of.

It also means this doesn't happen

habeasdorkus posted:




Worse than a crazed, potentially zombified hobo stalking our training camp, the Belgians win the Euro Championship. Belgium! They can't even form a government.

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