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I don't often do this, but I have read this thread pretty much in it's entirety. I usually stay out of threads April posts in because it'd be a little awkward, however, as April's husband, I have to admit that I, like Knyteguy, was short sighted at first about what she was trying to do. For fucks sake, we put a Cadillac and a Trailblazer on a CREDIT CARD. You want to talk about STUPID? Remember that credit was very cheap pre-2008. Re-fi'ing the loans from 10% to 3.5-4.5% over the life of the loan seemed to be the right be thing to do. However, when the credit crunch of 2008 hit, the promises of the credit card company that said the interest over the life of this loan was never going to increase, that it was a fixed rate, went out the window, and paying 30K on a credit card went from $200 a month to over $600 a month over night. Listen, I've read plenty of threads here and read a LOT of advice from different people here. It's tough to look in the mirror and it's even tougher to put it all out there in the open and read as people poke holes in you and your life, point out your flaws and your weaknesses. We all have them, we all dislike having that happen to us. The upside to what has been said in this thread (besides the <in my best Greg House voice> "You're an idiot") and I DO say that tongue in cheek, I promise, is that some of us if not MOST of us have been in the situation that you are in, and we know that it is difficult, and most of the time can be overwhelming. Personally, we would not be in the good financial position if it had not been for April's perseverance, researching, reading this and other money sites, and most often, her drive to get out of debt and not go bottoms up. All of us here know what it's like, we're all here to help you pull yourself out of this position, but you have to be willing to help yourself as well. I see the lightbulb starting to illuminate across your posting, and I think by some means that you are starting to put it together. It's tough, it will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to go through (besides caring for a new born) however, this is one that you can be able to impart on others, to pay it forward and show them that it works, that it's a mindset change. You can do this, it's just not easy.
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Sep 23, 2014 02:23
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imabanana posted:You have too many animals for someone who is in debt and doesn't own a home. Makes it tough to find a decent rental. If at all possible, I would recommend renting houses/duplexes and not apartments, but man as a landlord I'd hear 3 cats and 2 dogs and run away. If the cats are getting in the way of a business then give away the cats. You don't need them. ALSO SAID THIS: imabanana posted:Spend on things that will make your wife happy. Your marriage is an investment, and I don't care how strong your marriage is, a baby will test it. You need to be thinking about making life easier for your family when possible. And making your life easier! You know what would make your life easier? Not a ps4. A shorter commute. There are studies that show commuting is a huge factor in unhappiness. Best thing said. Hands down. Personally, while I am not an indoor pets person, I do love animals, but I am a realist. Whether or not you see this, you are feeding 8 mouths right now in a cramped space that you are miserable with. Lighten the load on the pets. Keep one, get rid of 4, if they are ankle biters, get rid of them all. It stings, and if you are an animal person it sucks to think about it, but the reality of the situation is you need to get your life in order first. Look at the position you are in. You have to take care of yourselves first. a worthy uhh posted:You probably could have just sewed the buttons back onto the shorts but that's not 'throw money at it' so it's not a viable solution I guess. Strangely enough, I was thinking this exact same thing, why in the hell didn't you [the OP] just sew the button on and call it good? If the pants were worn thin or your "Sunday best" that's one thing, but it takes two minutes to sew a button on, and if it popped due to your gut (I've had this happen to me, so not shaming at all), you can slightly adjust the button position to make the pants a bit larger. Dude, I'm a guy, I do all the sewing around the house here including but not limited to sewing ballet shoes, darning socks (on occasion), I can do zippers, you name it I can sew it. Another option that was mentioned is Goodwill. I LOVE Goodwill. Bought two suits and a slew of clothes from there as well as LP's. Do you use a slow cooker? I can't remember. Go and spend some time on making (the key there is making) prepackaged meals and freeze them. You can make just about everything and freeze it and put it in the slow cooker when ever you want it. You can usually eat off of each meal twice if you make them big enough, or take them for lunch so you are not eating out. I try not to eat out because It's about $10 each time I eat out, and for $10 that's a full meal for the 4 of us. OP there are a lot of things that you can do to actually tighten your belt. I refuse to get into "Don't spend on groceries or this or that", just know that you have options for just about everything.
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Sep 24, 2014 00:05
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Knyteguy posted:If she's happy I can make myself be happy. It was as much my choice to have a kid, and the kid needs to be taken care of. No there's a fundamental disconnect here. It's not HER decision, it's both of your decisions and saying things like "as long as she's happy I can make myself happy" is such a load of bullshit. What that means is you'll end up resenting that fact later on. It might not be 6 months, a year, but you will if you are not 100% on board. You need to be honest with yourself and stop blowing sunshine and smoke up your own rear end. You've really done so well at that thus far. If's funny you THINK you have a clue of what's coming. You have absolutely none. Just out of curiosity, how can you have TWO preferred choices? Somehow I'm not thinking you are taking a truly good hard look at your budget and ways to minimize your expenditures. I thought that MAYBE somewhere along the lines you were starting to open your eyes about the gravity and reality of your situation, but I am seeing I might have given you too much credit. What I see here is someone who says "help help help, I'm having a budgetary crisis, I need your help. PLLEEEEEEASE HELP ME!" and when those of us who have been in that situation offer our time and ideas, we get "WEEEEEEELL but look at this shiny thing here!" or "That's too hard, not an option, not on the table, but I'll <Insert Knee Jerk reaction here>" Let the ship sink if you are not going to take this seriously and take the advice of people here. And just a side question, if you are not going to take the advice of people here, why did you ask in the first place? I guess I'm just a tad more of a realist than you and I have to be older. I guess with age comes experience and wisdom. EDIT: If I were in your shoes, every last expenditure in a month would be on the table and every single option would be weighed. I'll tell you this much, 3/4 of the people here who have given you advice or alternate paths to get your budget on track should get together and teach a financial "un-gently caress your life" seminar. EDIT II: You're a programmer? Christ if you develop software like you budget, I bet your software wouldn't pass any of the top 10 OWASP issues. Death From Above fucked around with this message at 23:18 on Sep 25, 2014 |
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Sep 25, 2014 23:06
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