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Knyteguy posted:I think you're judging my situation based on the past instead of the present. The past is all we have to go on. I think you should stop and realize that the past is filled with a LOT of "stop judging on the past, because we've changed for the present" and then you keep slipping into past habits. Accept this. Own it. Let people criticize you for it, otherwise how are we to believe that you've truly internalized it? Keep it going for six, even three months. Then your current present will become your past. You're the boy who cried wolf.
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Oct 6, 2014 01:25
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I'm curious, why is only part of your rent paid?
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Oct 8, 2014 22:59
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I'm just amazed at this idea that there's no way to plan ahead for what a move will cost. There's every way to know what a move will cost. Nothing is a surprise. I'm not really judging because I suck almost as much, frankly. I don't really budget, I just make sure everything sorts out every month. But I did set some hard savings goals, and I had $10k saved for a baby without even being pregnant. I also didn't get a super high maintenance dog with a pregnant wife. Congrats on the better job and pulling yourself out of a totally poo poo situation. But looking back at myself when I was in my 20s and got a big career boost... Goddamn did I just piss it all away and continue to live paycheck to paycheck buying really stupid consumer poo poo. And I rationalized every single penny spent. Just be careful, dude. Stop making excuses for all these surprise expenses that should in no way be any surprise whatsoever.
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Nov 24, 2014 18:46
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I think what gets people worked up is that you drop bombs after the fact. Okay, maybe this one was fine? You say you researched for three weeks? Why was this never mentioned in all the talk about moving and budgets and the like? How are we supposed to know the difference between the "oh by the way I bought a lawn mower because I saved $4800 phantom dollars" vs "oh by the way I bought a kindle because I deserve it"? And okay, you thought it might take a little longer to get pregnant, but you were STILL TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. Did you think the dog was going to disappear? Did you do any research as to how high maintenance this dog was going to be before you decided to cram it into a tiny apartment that had an entire bedroom dedicated to junk storage and half a dozen other mammals already in it? Try talking about and planning for things BEFORE you do them. See how it works out.
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Nov 25, 2014 06:31
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Knyte, are you a month ahead on your budget, i.e. YNAB Step 4? If you're not there, please get there ASAP. We just had a lot of unexpected* expenses, but because we've been a month ahead for over a year now, they weren't a big deal. Being a month ahead has allowed us to carry a negative balance in a couple of categories that was can smooth over next month, and we don't have to worry because there's plenty of buffer in our bank accounts due to being a month ahead. It's like a built-in mini emergency fund. It's a lot easier to budget for the month, and subsequently shift categories around as needed, if all the funds are there at the beginning. * Unexpected is more like unplanned. They were somewhat known expenses, but the timing of it wasn't known, so we kept putting off budgeting for it. So, that's not so good, but at least we had the safety net.
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Nov 28, 2014 16:09
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Cicero posted:Teach her to code? Even if she only got a mediocre programming job, it would pay a lot better with better hours than retail.
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Dec 3, 2014 09:28
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Sorry for derail. Hopefully this is helpful for KnyteWife.  What's a good online resource for learning? What languages need to be known?
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Dec 3, 2014 18:31
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That's excellent info, thanks, K.
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Dec 3, 2014 21:48
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Sometimes I don't update YNAB for weeks. Just sit down with YNAB and your online transaction report and type that poo poo in. There, now you know how it worked with your budget.
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Dec 5, 2014 20:05
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By skipping November you're throwing October away. YNAB's reports become super-awesome after six or eight months, but you need to put data in there. Okay so whatever online is goofy. Go to the bank and get a printout. But I seriously can't imagine they're just making past transactions impossible to get online. There'd be riots.
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Dec 5, 2014 22:02
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KG, I think October looked good, and you are making some improvements. Getting a better job was huge, and congrats on that. However, I also feel you tend to get a blind spot to your weak areas and dismiss people trying to help you see patterns. How many times have you found yourself saying that yeah you made a mistake but you've learned from it and everybody should just let it go? What does it mean that you keep having to say that? Yeah, okay, people are snarky assholes. Do you know what site this is? You really should work out a few sample budgets for baby time. Do expected and conservative. You should be doing this a lot. Also consider power-saving a baby fund from now until the birth so you have funds to draw from that aren't emergency savings. You don't want to be stressed that you have to go get something and where is the money coming from. You just want to be able to get it and relax and focus on the baby. ... To people confused by YNAB... The numbers in parenthesis in the left column with the line items are just KG's recommendation to himself. It's not the actual budget. The first column of numbers is the budget for the month. The second column of numbers is the expenditures for the month. There could also be a positive in here if you get reimbursed for something, or if you assign interest in an on-budget savings account to a category. The third column is carry-over from previous months plus the budget for this month minus the expenditures. So October was pretty much on target. YNAB encourages you to massage numbers, but it wants you to stay under your income. The whole point is to have an idea of how you're slicing the pie, even if you rearrange some pieces. ... But holy poo poo $510 for a Corolla?
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Dec 9, 2014 08:28
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Looking at your OP, I sadly can't see too much to trim. It's easy to say to cut the discretionary, but you don't have any line items for entertainment expenses, so that doesn't seem too bad. But maybe cut it to $100/each for a while? The big thing of course is the animals. It's easy to say get rid of them, but there's no goddamn way I'd ever have gotten rid of my cat even when I was on the verge of homelessness. But it really sounds like your latest dog is a very needy breed, and it doesn't sound like you knew that going in. You will have ZERO time for your animals once the baby arrives. Are there any family members who can take some of these off your hands? Again, I get it, but drat you have a lot of pets. Seriously consider what can be done here. My wife's cat was gotten as an adult from someone who couldn't care for him, and the little dude is happy as can be. I hope you're not planning on holiday gifting for all the relatives. They understand you have a baby on the way. It's gonna be really tight for a long time. Best of luck.
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Dec 9, 2014 08:49
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I used to be lovely with money and it sucked. I mean, sure, I got to buy all the latest gadgets on credit, but I was always juggling bills, the slightest hiccup put me in crisis mode, and I didn't have the financial freedom to do what I wanted. Now I'm less lovely with money and it's awesome. I realized I don't need the latest gadgets (still rocking the iPhone 3G), I have zero debt, I never even think about bills, and I've been able to weather a great many big financial surprises while barely batting an eye. I have $10k put away for supplementing a year of maternity leave, another $10k in reserve for emergencies, and my RRSP is maxed out. Getting one month ahead (YNAB Step 4) was the biggest change. Once I got there, the rest was easy. Having lived my entire life hand-to-mouth, I had no idea how less stressful it could be. YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE A FATHER. THERE'S YOUR MOTIVATION.
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Dec 12, 2014 20:28
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Why not return the one gift and then get everybody $20 gift cards to Amazon?
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Dec 15, 2014 21:15
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For gently caress's sake, dude, this is nobody's fault but your own. Stop making excuses. Stop playing the victim. Don't you get tired of that tune? It says right there that you needed to HAND THEM IN. Why the hell are they going to contact you if they can just keep charging you rent until they get the keys? Why would they do extra work to STOP getting money from you? Think this one through, man. I'm pretty sure I can go toe to toe with you regarding places rented, and I've never just left the keys in the apartment, unless there was specific instruction to do so. YOU hosed this up. YOU. You're not a victim. You should know better than to trust rental agencies to do anything against their best interest. Own it already.
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Jan 6, 2015 07:29
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It's hard not to see you playing the victim when you can't even take a breath after "accepting responsibility" before saying how shady they are. "Yeah, man, I take full responsibility for falling in the water, but it's pretty lovely of that surface tension not to support my weight."
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Jan 6, 2015 08:32
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The problem is that they're underwater, so they can't sell it outright. But here's an idea for the car: Grandma. She's willing to help you get a house, so she has cash. Go to her with the attitude that you want to save for a house, but your car is a huge financial strain that's hobbling your ability to get there, not to mention making it more difficult with the baby, and you'd like a *loan* from her to enable you to get a cheaper car. You sell the car to a private party, and have grandma loan you the difference so you can pay it off. Then you use your savings and your buffer from YNAB Rule 4 to buy a $3000 car and you're good to go. You can pay back grandma and the buffer at the same rate you're currently paying for the Toyota, and you'll be back to where you were in no time, with an extra $500 a month to spend. How many shifts of KW's work does it take to bring home $500? Because that's what this is worth to you. Potential hurdle: grandma or other family members will freak the gently caress out that you're driving baby around in a $3000 car. But gently caress them, it's fine. I'd be lucky to get $3000 for my car, and I have no problem driving a child in it (relative to other cars; they're all death traps).
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Jan 9, 2015 19:24
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Nobody ever needs a new baseball cap.
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Jan 9, 2015 22:47
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I think the "buffer" category is so he can get to "Step 4" of YNAB, which is to live on last month's income. I think KG would benefit quite a bit from achieving this goal, as it makes budgeting a lot easier and also builds in a mild safety net.Knyteguy posted:yes my sister bought my wife something for her baby shower (nice baby bag). We will return the favor, as even if the sky is falling on us right now, my sister is in a far worse position than we are. I also don't understand how you say you have a $29k net worth. Is that a typo? Why is it every time I read this thread I feel like some new "oh, forgot to mention" debt pops up. What's the $4000 thing that you ignored until it went away? And how the hell are you buying groceries NOW for February? Are these just frozen pizzas or something? Wouldn't you say that's a bit of an impulsive rationalization for over-spending? Isn't that the exact trait that has you in this mess in the first place? Look, man, I'm not perfect. I've been guilty of over-spending and waiting until the last minute to budget for something, then piling it all in on the current month and sometimes even borrowing from my future months. But goddamn dude, it's fit or fold time for you.
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Jan 10, 2015 01:20
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KG, I'm glad you came to the thread to ask about the trip. That's progress. These reactions are because even thinking about planning a trip when you're a fortnight away from your first child and up to your eyeballs in debt is completely insane. That's the impulsiveness rearing its head. That tendency of yours is still pulling at you. That's why you're still trying to figure out numbers. Progress has been made, but you're just not there yet. I agree with SIT STILL. Your life is about to get insane. Don't add more to it. Knyteguy posted:I'm not sure how much exactly. Mint won't work with my credit union so I can't do that. I'll do some calculations from YNAB and get back to you on that. Even then my guess is that it'll be inaccurate. We've been good on eating out this month, but there's been lots of times that we didn't have groceries, were at our budget limit, and went out to eat instead (at the expense of our discretionary lines). The point of YNAB isn't to set arbitrary limits and then punish/reward yourself when you can't meet them. It's to help you understand your spending so you can better manage it. I mean, the above doesn't make any sense. You were out of your grocery money, so as a solution you wasted discretionary for restaurants? You're punishing your discretionary budget on something that should be household expenses, then you're rewarding yourself by blowing through it on one meal. That's like a psychology carnival ride. I mean, if you're dipping into personal money for food, why not spend it at the grocery store? That way you have more fun money later. Again, that's the impulsiveness at work. "Oh well, out of grocery money, time to spend 4x as much at a restaurant!" I'm not trying to be critical. I struggle with these things myself. And I'm not as strict with myself as I should be because I have a positive net worth and saved up a huge baby fund before even trying to get pregnant. But I understand these tendencies, and have my own rationalization for them.... It's just... Dude, your baby is coming out any minute now. NO MORE MAKING BIG PLANS OR TRYING TO MAKE BIG LIFE CHANGES. SIT THE gently caress DOWN AND STAY THE COURSE. Unless you're trying to drive yourself insane, in which case carry on.
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Jan 21, 2015 23:32
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Knyteguy posted:"Tired of Top Ramen... hungry... restaurant is close and it'll quickly satiate since I had to skip lunch." This can also be substituted for expensive groceries, since sometimes we'll just get groceries from the nearby mart and it's super expensive. Knyteguy posted:We spent $77 on groceries and we have enough food premade for the the rest of the month right now (since Saturday). I'm feeling confident about it. 
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Jan 22, 2015 00:39
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Knyteguy posted:We've got $7,300 in the bank right now (so enough to pay off taxes, and the apartment right now and be more than a month ahead), and a paycheck still coming this month, and all of our bills paid for the moment, It also doesn't take a full month's budget to get a month ahead. It's really only the consumables. You're probably budgeting February's rent check in January, right? Rent probably isn't due until the 1st or 5th. So that right there is already a month ahead. Bills are the same way. You might get the cable bill on the 18th, but it probably isn't due until the 7th of the next month. So those are already a month ahead, too. When you get a bill, set up your bank to auto-pay on the 1st, enter it in YNAB, and you're done. Even better, set up all your bills to auto-pay on the 1st. Since you're a month ahead, you don't have to worry about over-draft. Your checking account will be padded with all of February's paychecks, so the cash will be there on March 1st. There are many advantages to this. The biggest is that you no longer have to keep track of when the next paycheck is coming in. You have all your money at the beginning of the month, and all of your fixed bills are paid right away. Now all that's left is to divide the rest between consumables, savings, and discretionary. It's so much less stressful. It also feels a lot more secure. With a new baby, I'm pretty sure your wife would like a bit of security. And it might help your mindset as well. If you have the funds, do it. It removes a lot of stress and gives you a lot more control over your money. Looking at my YNAB graph, you can clearly see the change that happened once we got to Step 4.
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Jan 22, 2015 00:50
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http://youtu.be/JOoMxP8vl7c
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Jan 22, 2015 00:58
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spwrozek posted:I though people would laugh.
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Jan 22, 2015 03:30
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Knyteguy posted:Again if it wasn't for the 1) moving to the apartment 2) the car 3) the leaving the thread for 5 months, then we would have like $20,000 in the bank (really. I did the math just a few pages ago). Knyteguy posted:AgainI think the energy from the forum is completely misplaced. It's not these small budget things that are hurting us, it's not going $25 on discretionary (and we haven't gone over on discretionary this month even while supplementing groceries), it's not "not sticking to the budget 100%", it's these expensive choices we keep making. KG, please realize that we're not inside your head. You seem to have a new scheme or plan every week. It's exhausting. How are we supposed to know the difference between your kindle or PS4 purchase, or your not getting a walk through on the apartment (I see you're STILL blaming the landlord on that), or a trip to San Diego? When you tell us that you're planning to use the Florida job offer as leverage, that means that if it doesn't work then you're moving to Florida. Otherwise it's just a bluff, and it potentially leaves you in a worse spot than you are now. The absolute worst time to do that is three weeks before you're having a baby. You're putting way to much pressure on yourself. This trip is a prime example. You don't even see what you're doing. In your mind, you think you're doing the right thing by talking to all your friends and family about this trip. But what's crazy is that you're even considering the trip in the first place. What you need to realize is that your friends and family are not good lifestyle advisors. But now you've talked with half a dozen people about this trip. Now you've set up expectations. Now when you don't go, you run the risk of feeling shame, or like you disappointed them. It's embarrassing to say you're broke. But by putting that trip in everybody's heads, now you have the stress of potentially explaining why you're not going, or making up stories to save face. That can't feel very good, can it? Not to mention that you're getting yourselves all hopeful about it, just to dash your own hopes. You're setting yourself up for disappointment. Then you lash out at us for going "WTF? That's crazy!" But we don't know what's an impulse that will happen or what's a pie in the sky. You have something new seemingly every week. And most of your lovely decisions happen with a passing mention on here. This isn't something in the distant pass. You pissed away money on the apartment inspection and that was totally your fault. That JUST HAPPENED. So forgive us for screaming STOP IT when something gets mentioned. CHILL THE gently caress OUT ALREADY. STOP. Knyteguy posted:It doesn't mean I want to hear every page that my brain is broken. That's hosed up to hear, ya know? My wife is even like "why do they keep asking if you have bipolar?" like come on. Maybe instead of instantly reacting negatively, you can stop to consider that this is how you're coming off to someone. I don't understand the polarized negative reaction to it, honestly. If you're not bipolar, then awesome. But if you are, and you get medication for it, then that's helpful. I'm not making any judgment on the topic, but it's not an accusation. It's not something negative. It's someone trying to get through to you. The most troubling thing for me is how violently you react to the mere idea of it. You are all over the loving place, dude. Stop getting mad at us for trying to make sense of it.
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Jan 22, 2015 18:31
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KG, I think you should stop telling friends and family that you're "thinking about" doing anything. I think a problem in this thread is you just come and plop down any idea you have, then the thread flips out, and you get butthurt and all "geez, it was just an idea." I think you'd be a lot happier if you just chew on things yourself for a day or two before telling us and before telling other people. As I said in my previous post, you're just setting up expectations and then getting upset when you can't meet them. Case in point: Knyteguy posted:So OK this is what from you guys that causes me to become frustrated. To be successful with money, for the next 100 years of my life I must: How about you just chill the gently caress out for two months. Can you do two months? You are about to have a baby. Guess what, it's not about you any more. Chill the gently caress out and try to have some semblance of stability for eight goddamn weeks. This whole thread is playing goddamn whack-a-mole with your random ideas. Your life doesn't even have a status quo. It's non-stop chaos with you, and it's about to get more chaotic. Is it any wonder you can't get any kind of solid footing? Can you point to a 4-week span in the past six months where the end of it had the same goals and habits as the beginning of it? SIMMER DOWN. Find your status quo. Once you're settled and know what the gently caress your rhythm is, THEN you can start planning for poo poo. Your past HUGE mistakes are why you're in this position. Now you're in detention for six months. But lucky you, because you get to play with a brand new baby during that time. Stop and smell the loving roses. Learn to enjoy what you have. Stop with the chaos already. It's exhausting.
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Jan 22, 2015 22:14
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I agree with not feeling morally obligated to this one. It's just another case of it being more expensive to be poor. Insurance companies pay FAR less than sticker price. The U.S. healthcare system is obscene.
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Jan 26, 2015 07:58
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It's a pretty hot button topic, to be sure. Regardless, many of the avenues he could have taken are now closed off. It's a mess of bureaucracy, and you can't expect the average person to know the ins and ours of it and spend the time to go through it all, especially when he's dirt poor and just trying to make his ramen supply last the month. This is one of the many problems with modern capitalism. The healthcare system is a casualty of it, and I dare say the cost of individuals skipping out on outrageous bills that insurance companies would never have to pay in the first place is built in to how they operate. It's ridiculous to needlessly cripple a family's life due to them happening to be born in this place and time. Because gently caress that system, it is wholly unjust.
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Jan 26, 2015 19:18
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KG, I am completely jealous of your back garage. I used to live in a house with that, which also had a bathroom, and it became my lounge. I hosted multi-table poker games a couple nights a week, board game nights, a Go salon, my projector, my piano... Good times, man, good times.n8r posted:Come up with a set amount to save every month. Build your budget around the set amount. Having the set savings amount will be the single easiest way to actually restrict your spending month to month. I've only posted about this multiple times, and I don't understand why other people aren't behind this concept. Not when the cats had huge vet bills. Not when the car needed a few grand in repairs. Not when I lost my job. This poo poo is for serious long term. We use it to max out RRSP, and to pad a true emergency fund. But it is an absolute last resort. Other savings goals, okay, we'll borrow from those. They're not as locked down. But this one does not budge. We'll probably stop contributing as much to it for my wife's year of mat leave, especially if I can't find some work in the interim (I'm going to be stay at home dad after that, so no sense pursuing career jobs), but since we also built up a nice baby savings specifically for this purpose, I don't think we'll need to draw from the emergency fund. And to think, two years ago we were total assholes about money, and about $12k in the hole. This poo poo works. Take it off the top, first thing. It does not exist for any other part of your budget.
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Jan 27, 2015 06:14
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Knyteguy posted:Hm alright we'll evaluate putting a set % of income saved for February. It'll have to be a conservative estimate, because who knows what the baby will actually end up costing. She's the one with the good job, so it's all on her. Also, Canada, which while it sucks with mat leave payment benefits compared to Europe, still beats the poo poo out of the US. But really, it just came down to setting goals and using YNAB. We wanted to have a set amount saved (outside of the emergency and retirement funds) before having kids, so we projected out (on a spreadsheet) how far ahead we were going to start trying to get pregnant, set some basic "worst case, best case, medium case" scenarios, and made it happen. Looking back at my old spreadsheets, we were pretty close to our projections. But a big key is saving FIRST. You know the saying how work expands to fill the time slotted? It's the same kind of thing. We set a percentage of income and it is a line we absolutely can not cross. At all.
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Jan 27, 2015 18:44
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I don't see the problem in saying "we're over our budget in groceries, so we're going to subtract from out discretionary budgets to pad the grocery budget." It's not re-classifying purchases. He's becoming more aware of where his money is going and how it's affecting him. I believe this is part of the YNAB "method". This way long-term he has a clearer picture of his actual habits and trends, and can budget and adjust more intelligently in the future. It may not be the way other people do things, but different strokes for different folks. The whole point is to have more understanding of how you spend your money.
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Feb 2, 2015 19:34
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I would love to see people lighten up on this point. KG doesn't even have enough data to know what's "normal", so it's silly to hold to some arbitrary number. I think we should be happy that he's tracking spending and making adjustments to meet needs. Maybe after six months or a year he'll have the information to normalize. KG isn't a business, he's a person. He doesn't have a CFO with years of numbers to make budgets. He doesn't have shareholders to please. As long as he sets aside savings first and doesn't over-spend what's remaining, does it matter how the numbers play out? Think of him as one department in the overall company. He's given his budget. Do we care if he spends it on paper clips or copier toner? If he under-estimates the ballpoint pen budget, do we care if he takes it out of his Friday bagels budget? He likes to share his process. Let's not beat him up as he thinks out loud about how his budget is adjusting and taking shape. KG, rather than auto-import from the bank, maybe you can take a few weeks to manually enter numbers? I think that's what YNAB wants you to do. That way you're really face-to-face with your spending habits. It makes it more real. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, but is it worth a shot? Just open your bank statement next to YNAB and go through line by line. It's pretty easy to do.
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Feb 3, 2015 14:59
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The best place to keep junk food chips is at the store. That poo poo is a downward spiral.
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Feb 7, 2015 02:44
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Dry climates feel different.
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Feb 8, 2015 22:49
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Congrats on getting a month ahead! I think in a few months you'll realize how less stressful it is. Set your bills to auto-pay the first week of the month. Even rent, most banks will allow you to set up automatic checks online. You don't have to worry that the money's not there, because it is! Now you can budget bills down to the penny before doing anything else, and you know exactly how much money you have for other categories. No more waiting for the next paycheck and hoping it's enough to cover. Huzzah!
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Feb 11, 2015 20:58
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DogsCantBudget posted:How can one be "a month ahead" while still having any debt? Isn't the point of "your debt is an emergency" that one can't get a month ahead without having 0 debt? Veskit posted:Then I am just as confused as the other guy.
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Feb 12, 2015 01:38
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Congratulations!
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Feb 20, 2015 18:09
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What the loving gently caress. gently caress.
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Mar 22, 2015 04:12
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loving gently caress, man. You need to work out expectations and details with your sister immediately. Really you should have done it six months ago when everybody was telling you to and you were all "it's cool, she's a pro, it'll all be good." I also don't see what the gently caress the big deal is about an extra half hour of her lounging at your house. It sounds like your mom is difficult and sister has nowhere else to be. And it's not like ever-changing retail shifts is a surprise to anybody. Clearly boundaries and expectations with sis aren't so great if she's passive-aggressively sending you car ads. gently caress, man. How is it that the only person in this thread surprised by this is you? You also need to negotiate more work-from-home time, if you're so under-paid. gently caress, the boss is gone for a whole week at a time every month. Do you really need to be in the office? Maybe during your review you can have a real heart-to-heart with your boss. Tell him you like working there and you understand he can't pay market rate, but that you'd like to be compensated in other ways. Like working from home three days a week. Another option, reduced hours four days a week, made up by shorter lunch breaks and working a ten-hour shift on Fridays. Or something. Buying a car sends you in a negative direction. Find solutions that work towards the positive. At SOME point you're going to realize that there's ALWAYS something "unexpected" coming up. That's reality, dude. Nothing is holding you back except for you. Stop making excuses.
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Apr 16, 2015 10:44
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 13:08 |
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Knyteguy posted:Eh I'm not telling this one. It was expensive though I'm not sure you can get away that easy. If you don't face your problems, you'll never solve them. At the very least, how much was it, and where did it come out of the budget? I'm assuming blackjack, hookers, and blow.
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Apr 17, 2015 21:24
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