|
Knyteguy posted:4) The baby. Babe: I feel like you need to continue to give this more thought. 1.5 months after the baby is born is not the best time to do this. We need to come up with a plan here. We should have had a plan in place before you became pregnant, but you're already half way there. You're a real piece of work. You're pressuring your pregnant wife to do what you want (stay at home) and have been pretty clear that this is your preference since you dropped the bomb that you guys were going to have a baby. NOW, of course, it's ~*suuuuuuuper important*~ that your wife think carefully about this huge decision. NOW it's important that she pick up YOUR slack. Meanwhile you don't have to deal with swollen feet and a giant rear end and hormones loving up your disintegrating brain. Whoever said you are incredibly self-centered had you all figured out; this even shows up in the way you talk about your pets. Of course you HAVE to keep the dogs because you are "responsible" when the actual responsible thing to do would be to rehome at least one of them because two dogs, three cats, and two people--soon to be three!--in 800 square feet of crowded apartment is miserable for all involved. It was irresponsible to get the second dog in the first place. Let it go to a new home with people who could actually take it on walks and devote the time it needs to training. You know, like a responsible pet owner would. Jesus. I just love this: "we should have had a plan in place." No loving poo poo. That's basically the motto of this thread. "We should have had a plan in place!" You didn't loving plan for a baby. FOR. A. BABY. loving unreal. How are you not panicking right now? I can't believe how gentle people are being with you, especially after SloMo got it hard, and he wasn't loving up anyone's life but his own. Get your loving act together, Knyteguy. You have no clue what you're in for in four and a half months, and if you keep sailing along swaddled in your own ignorance and poor impulse control you are completely hosed.
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 02:00
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 7, 2024 01:12 |
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Uh my wife wants to stay at home with the baby, and I've been trying to help her do that while keeping us out of this shithole apartment. You act like I'm the only one that makes decisions in the household. You're framing it like my wife is literally incapable of helping the household to make good decisions, or to even play a part in the decision making process. And she and I just said in this very thread we're open to rehoming the cats. ~*Chiiiiiill out*~. I'm holding out hope that only you are this cripplingly stupid. Rehome your hyper dog and your cats, my god, and don't decide anything until you know exactly what being at home with a newborn is like. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Sep 25, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 02:41
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:I just admitted that we need to take steps to fix this. And no I thought the porch would be great for them. We just read the SPCA website on exercise and apparently we need to do more. Yeah. You keep your dogs on the porch for four hours a day and think that's "great," and I'm the dick. "Apparently we need to do more." Wow. Please remember to exercise your baby, take it out to poop at least once a day, and take care not to overwater it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 04:17
|
|
|
Aagar posted:Pets: Look, if it was just a money thing I'd say keep them - as Slap pointed out the savings would just get washed away somewhere else. I really think, if they are having trouble now giving the proper level of care for five animals, it will be impossible with a baby. However, I suppose that can be assessed after the baby is born. Engineer Lenk posted:If it comes down to the pets or the kid, it's clear that the kid will win. Okay, I'm going to try not to be a dick here, so just read these again, OP. I'm not telling you to give up your pets to save you money, I'm telling you to give up your pets because you are a bad pet owner, with a newborn on the way to boot. Even the most earnest of pet owners is going to neglect their animals for a little while after a baby is born, and you suck at owning pets. This isn't me being a dick, it's a fact, and if I'm being poo poo to you at all it's because I'm actually literally concerned about your kid and how you are going to provide for him/how prepared you are for him. People tell you not to "plan" because you get carried away with how great things will be in the nebulous future, so I have no idea how to teach you to be realistic. I suppose it's what everyone's said before: PLAN FOR THE WORST, HOPE FOR THE BEST. My husband and I make five times what you make, and we still agonize over purchases. We're moving to a bigger house across the country right now, and I'm planning to fill it up with cheap antiques I find on CL. That's how you get rich, not by pouring time and money into a home business that may never take off, but by frugality. You can make a million dollars a year and still be poor if you don't have a healthy fear of what could happen in the future, and shore yourself against it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 12:52
|
|
|
Yes. Expand into .NET and python. And maybe Java. All right, I'm going to try to be helpful. I want you guys to sit down and write out, SEPARATELY, your goals. Don't talk to each other about them. Just write them out. Here's what you and Janus Owl need to figure out for yourselves: Where do I want to be in 6 months? (How do I want to be living in six months?) Where do I want to be in 1 year? (What kind of job do I want to have? What do I want my living situation to be? How do I see myself spending my evenings in a year's time?) ...In 5 years? ...In 10 years? ...After retirement? (Where do I want to live? What do I want to do in my spare time? Do I want to travel? Do I want to have a dream house?) What do I want to provide to our child/children? (the bare necessities? money for hobbies/sports/activities? money to get started in life, be it in college or straight into the working world? freedom from financial worry forever?) What crazy dream do I want to pursue? (go nuts) After you have figured out these things individually, discuss it with each other. Work toward a consensus, at least for the next five years. AND THEN. The hard part. After you know what you want, assume that you will NEVER EVER EVER make more money than you are making now. You will never make more than $4300 a month. That's it. For the rest of your life. Now make a plan to get what you want, at least for the next five years, with only that money available to you, and assume one emergency every six months. Ta-da. A budget. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Sep 25, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2014 20:49
|
|
|
The best budget is a budget you can stick to. It looks fine on paper, so if you can stick to this budget then this is the budget for you. I would really recommend putting your discretionary into cash, because that way you cannot go over. When it's gone, it's gone. But I would like to bring your attention back to this: LoreOfSerpents posted:Please look into selling/donating some of your clutter. Don't raise your kid to think it's normal for him to keep everything he owns. I was in a similar situation a few years back; we had a small house (800-ish square feet, 2 bedrooms) and it was mostly filled with sentimental items from our youth. My mom never did garage sales, so I still had most of my childhood toys, lots of Christmas ornaments, heirlooms from our grandparents, etc. Then we got a job offer in another city. We packed up all of our things, drove halfway across the country in the middle of winter... and someone stole our moving truck. Do this. Take fifteen minutes a day for you and Janus Owl to go through your clutter room and be utterly ruthless in getting rid of things. Don't take MORE than 15 minutes--use a timer and time it. That way you won't burn out. Believe me, I know how it can get. My mom and my husband's mom are constantly trying to unload their clutter on us, and for a long time we took it. However in the past few years we have reduced a clutter-filled room to one medium-sized box of mementos for each of us. If you do not LOVE something, don't keep it. And feeling sentimental about something is not loving it. DO NOT let your kid grow up thinking clutter/hoarding is a part of life. No judgment, that's how I finally got my butt in gear about it: my kid was on the way and I couldn't let him be born into a clutter-filled house. Everything about your kid's brain is enormously plastic for the first five years, and making an ordered environment for him is incredibly important. And... are you still drying your stuff in front of fans? Have you thought about drying them on a line on the porch? You live in Reno, it should be dry enough/warm enough to suck the water from your clothes fairly easily. Ugh. I don't want you to be Zaurg. Please don't be Zaurg. If you haven't read his threads all the way through, you should do it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 26, 2014 13:53
|
|
|
Sell tv, keep the bikes. Pop quiz, what will you do with the money you make on the TV? e: Is your porch not covered? I can hardly imagine your bikes getting rusty in Reno between now and when you move (when your lease is up).
|
|
#
¿
Sep 26, 2014 21:42
|
|
|
Cicero posted:Having a room filled with random crap is dumb, but a baby having an entire room of its own is also dumb (unless you have tons of space). Roomful of baby is better than a roomful of random crap. Babies also tend to come with a lot of their own poo poo so it'd be good to have a room to put it in. Get rid of your useless poo poo, KG.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 27, 2014 00:40
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Yep I agree. I'm gonna talk it over with the wife and hopefully we can get started this weekend. Take pictures and show us your progress. Don't be that goon who had his kids taken away because his hoarder trailer was one wrong step away from falling through the floor. (He got his act together, but you should probably not reach that point in the first place.)
|
|
#
¿
Sep 27, 2014 14:14
|
|
|
Uncle Jam posted:Having a baby maintenance area is a big help, some kind of changing/storage/clean up station. Agree 100%. Also good job, KG.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 27, 2014 23:01
|
|
|
Congrats man, that looks like a good budget, and props for cleaning up that room and unfucking that part of your habitat. That was a measurable, manageable, realistic goal and you achieved it. Feels good, don't it? Enjoy unfucking your finances!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 30, 2014 20:55
|
|
|
How much do you have saved for the baby?
|
|
#
¿
Oct 25, 2014 20:45
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:I'm still assuming $500/mo + daycare at the moment. I'm hoping I'm high there. El oh el. You will not have time for your dogs, by the way. They are about to get (more) neglected for at least six months.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 25, 2014 02:25
|
|
|
^^^ A baby is about 10x more stressful as the most stressful event in your life to date. ^^^Knyteguy posted:...It's a little demotivating, and it's that kind of ignorant stuff said in there that drives me crazy... Which is it? The biggest difference between you and SloMo is that he calls his detractors "haters" while you just whine and look for sympathy from the posters who still have some kind of faith in you. PCjr sidecar posted:You're telling multiple people that their lived experiences which they have shared with you in detail are wrong based on a 30 second Google search and 15 seconds of Wikipedia, but you think people aren't taking the time to engage with you fairly? KnyteGuy is just as arrogant as SloMo in his own way. (Cue whining while feigning indifference.)
|
|
#
¿
Dec 9, 2014 02:54
|
|
|
ExtrudeAlongCurve posted:I bring this up because you have mentioned your plan is to breastfeed, which will save oodles of money and also be the best option. But if it ends up not working out for your wife, not only do you need to not have that be a financial death sentence but you need to make sure your wife knows it's not her fault and not make her feel guilty that it's not happening for her. We're not supposed to emptyquote, so just seconding this. Are you prepared if you have to pay for formula, or rent an industrial strength breast pump from the hospital for about 80 bucks a month? These are things you have to think about, and you clearly don't.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 9, 2014 18:58
|
|
|
^^^ Seriously. She needs to NOT quit her job. She needs to work on learning programming and hopefully she'll love it, but she can't drop her job to learn it because there's no guarantee she won't hate it. There's no amount of money you could pay me per year to do programming, frankly, but hopefully your wife doesn't feel the same way. (Also I completely missed the transition from, "MY WIFE WILL FOR SURE CONTINUE WORKING!" to "Hey, she wants to quit her job, what other thing can she do?" I seem to remember you being certain that this wouldn't happen.)Knyteguy posted:^ thanks for sharing guys. That definitely helps. No, that's a GREAT example. That is a great price and you missed out on it because your parents sucked at money... now you suck at money! Here's the thing...when you wake up on that first night home from the hospital, all on your own with that new baby dependent upon you for EVERYTHING, even making sure he's positioned correctly so he can continue BREATHING, it'll probably hit you. He's going to be looking at you from now on for the rest of your life, and he will learn all the terrible things you teach him by being poo poo at money, by being flighty, by being unwilling to change. He will grow up to be just as stressed out and miserable as you are right now if you don't shape the gently caress up, and that'll break your heart. You'll also probably want to give him the best of everything. That should help motivate you, too. If you want to motivate yourself to be a great parent, I recommend reading this thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3566058 If hearing what it's like having crazy parents/parents poo poo with money/poo poo with emotional junk/poo poo with poo poo doesn't help you, I don't know what will. By the way, being good with money means never having to worry. All the worry and stress you are feeling right now is your own doing. But the good news is, because you're the one who did it to yourself, you can undo it to yourself! This weekend was the windpocalypse here in the PNW and my power went out and therefore my sump pump didn't work, so I had to bail out my basement. And I was like, "Hmm, it'd be a lot easier to just have someone put a generator into the house so I don't have to bail out my basement every time the power goes out, which is always because I live in the middle of the goddamn woods." So someone's coming on Tuesday to give me quotes on generators, and it's gonna be about 5k, but I don't give a gently caress because I have 5k to blow on a generator so I don't have to bail out my basement at midnight whenever a tree falls in the forest. Is that first world as gently caress? It sure as hell is, and it's awesome. I'd rather spend time with my family and walk my dog and make more money than be constantly worrying about how much I just spent on loving groceries, but I can only do that because of the financial discipline I had earlier in my life. You have that power, man. Maybe not dropping 5k without worrying, but it can be 1k, or 2k. All the frantic justifications and freaking out and stress will just go away if you would stop blowing money at the drop of a hat. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Dec 12, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Dec 12, 2014 23:05
|
|
|
Robo Boogie Bot posted:Do you know anyone at all who has had a baby recently? If you do, ask them about what they were able to accomplish during their maternity leave. Everyone will have the same answer, "Well I thought that I would get [x] organized and at least start [y] and [z] while baby slept...but before I knew it, three months was over and I had zero time to do any of those things." It would be great to learn a marketable skill during that time, but I wouldn't bank on it since many people find it hard to find time to shower regularly. Seriously, this is what is going to happen. It has nothing to do with motivation and everything to do with how much work a baby is. Your house is going to be a disaster, your wife will probably be hormonal as gently caress, your animals are going to be climbing up the wall because you won't have any time for them, and you'll both be stinky and exhausted. You think moving is stressful? It ain't poo poo compared to a new baby. I'd move every month for the next ten years sooner than I'd have another baby. (One and done here.) Knyteguy posted:Everyone remember that "buy no new things" thing? I think I'll give that a go again in January. With the Christmas season out of the way it'll be a good exercise to try. No, you should do it now. Make cookies for Christmas and call it a day. You can change your life at any time, but if you wait until the "right" time to do it then it will never happen because the right time never comes. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Dec 13, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2014 02:24
|
|
|
Horking Delight posted:I really hope that in March or April we don't end up hearing "I know having a baby was going to be hard but we can't get our budget under control because we're just too drat tired all the time to spend so much mental energy on tracking our spending, but we've maxed out one of our credit cards so I'm feeling really discouraged now, guys," because I am absolutely sure people have repeatedly mentioned concerns about your wife having to work or go back to work sooner than she'd prefer, and how hard it is to have a job and raise a baby at the same time. But that's what makes this thread so great. Everyone says, "But what about X? What about when that happens?" and KG says, "That won't happen, we have the right attitude!" and then a few months later KG casually mentions that X happened and he's like, "yeah, we spent three grand on it, but we had to, WHO COULD HAVE EVER PREDICTED IT??" Fun times. Baja Mofufu posted:I'm also wondering how much your wife is going to feel like learning a new job skill with a newborn. I know the existence of "baby/pregnant brain" is debatable but I've already found myself less able to concentrate on my work, which requires a lot of logic, math, and programming. A close friend of mine in the same field just came back from maternity leave and she got absolutely nothing done on her "baby work list" because of sleep deprivation. I'm planning on being a leaky human blob for three months... My pregnancy made me rock stupid and it felt like a fog lifted the second I got the kid out of me. Then the PPD came! So yeah. KG, whatever you do, do not pressure your pregnant/post-partum wife to do poo poo like learn programming.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 13, 2014 04:40
|
|
|
You don't want to hear it, but your wife has to go back to work.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 27, 2014 22:35
|
|
|
Old Fart posted:KG, I think you should stop telling friends and family that you're "thinking about" doing anything. I think a problem in this thread is you just come and plop down any idea you have, then the thread flips out, and you get butthurt and all "geez, it was just an idea." I think you'd be a lot happier if you just chew on things yourself for a day or two before telling us and before telling other people. As I said in my previous post, you're just setting up expectations and then getting upset when you can't meet them. God. This. I had to stop reading this thread for a while because I was starting to actually get stressed out at the thought of your impending baby and your cavalier attitude toward it. Chaos is terrible for kids. PLEASE give your son a stable place to take root and grow. Your impulses are your enemy.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 23, 2015 01:32
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:I think I've had enough painful financial lessons to last a life time - I would never let us get in a debt situation like we're currently in again. Yes, you would. You still haven't shown that you learned anything from your previous painful financial lessons, and hence have not changed your approach or habits.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2015 03:04
|
|
|
http://emeals.com/ <---- this was recommended to one of the more tragic BFC stars, though I can't remember who. I used it when my kid was born and it was pretty good. I should also point out that it's cheaper than what you're using now and I don't think it ever suggested eating ice cream for breakfast. Do you have a blender? You realize you can make a healthy shake with yogurt, ice, fruits, and veggies, right? You could make it the night before. Store it in the fridge. Meal planning is a great way to lose weight and save money, but if you eat garbage, which always seems to cost more in the end, you're just going to end up feeling like what you're eating. Knyteguy posted:They aren't the only options of course, I just feel like I've tried so many other things that I've been unable to execute so far with both health and budgeting food, and I'm just kind of tired of so much time and effort not paying off. At least this is relatively easy. You seem to put a lot of time and effort into planning rather than executing. You have a problem, man.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 12, 2015 08:16
|
|
|
As someone who really did not want kids and then changed her mind (barely), it's completely different when it's your own baby. That first smile from your own baby stops your heart like the first time you ever had a crush and they smiled at you or looked in your direction. Anyway, we should maybe focus on this? Bugamol posted:You completely dodged the question of "what happened to the weeks worth of food you've been claiming is in your refrigerator?".
|
|
#
¿
Mar 14, 2015 01:03
|
|
|
foxatee posted:Glob drat you make me angry sometimes. But that's only because I made the same mistakes as you and it took having a kid to realize I gotta get my poo poo together. I can bury myself with stupid financial decisions, but not her. I'll teach her what my parents didn't teach me. You should be thinking the same, and break these bad habits you have right loving now. Seriously this. Get your poo poo together, kg. n8r posted:Pretty sure KGfamily is equally as terrible with their money to the point where they cannot afford to take KG/KGwife out but still expect them to go out. Not sure about the whole not taking a baby out to public places. I think the attitudes toward not exposing your kids to the world/allergens early has been changing. YMMV. Below 2 mos you have to be careful because anti vaxxers have ruined it for everyone and our herd immunity is falling apart and your baby could get whooping cough and you wouldn't even know it until they just stop breathing. Also measles and tuberculosis and who knows what else. The Chinese keep the babby home with mom for three months and we're going to have to go back to that if we start getting mumps and poo poo all over the place. (I only know this because a sweet Chinese couple were Very Concerned for my 1 month old--"Too young!"--that was out and about at the mall and they were probably right but I was breastfeeding and needed new glasses, so I couldn't leave him at home.)
|
|
#
¿
Mar 21, 2015 21:46
|
|
|
Uh. That's less than two weeks from now. You should, uh. Get on that, maybe?
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2015 23:01
|
|
|
Dallas sucks, but then again you are in Reno. There's a much bigger tech sector there, though, but moving away from family can suck. Not that any of this is applicable to you because you like thinking about changing things rather than actually changing them.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 21, 2015 04:47
|
|
|
Don't loving move to silicon valley. Just don't.
|
|
#
¿
May 26, 2015 18:28
|
|
|
Inverse Icarus posted:Knyteguy's Finances: gently caress me this is harder than I was thinking. Please change to this, tia
|
|
#
¿
May 27, 2015 22:25
|
|
|
BloodBag posted:Jesus christ, all the get rich quick type of poo poo going on in this thread is so tiring. The Knyteguy posted:She already covered the applications process by saying she'll "apply, apply, apply". Relax, guys, it's in the wiki
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2015 09:38
|
|
|
Hawkgirl posted:I know I'm constantly taking the cheery road in this thread, but I seriously think this is a good thing. How many times has KG dismissed suggestions because he believed that over time, his process was getting him results? Now it's very clear that that is not working. I think it's a very good sign that KG was willing to put this in the thread (even if it was late) and take his knocks for failing. There wasn't any justification or excuses. He failed and he knows it, and maybe now we can talk about how to fix this in the future. Yeah, I've been pretty harsh on you in this thread, but maybe this will be the little nudge you need to get your act together. Thanks for being honest with us.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2015 20:59
|
|
|
One day at a time is good for alcohol problems, smoking problems, and financial problems. So maybe slow down your thinking a little. It might help.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 17, 2015 00:40
|
|
|
You need help. More help than "exercise."
|
|
#
¿
Jul 18, 2015 06:24
|
|
|
I still don't think you have the time and energy for an aussie. i'm lounging around with my feet up rn and putting off getting some work done and I don't have the time and energy for an aussie. The only aussie worth having around a child is an aussie who has decided the child is their responsibility. My mother's aussie/border mix has decided, on her own, i might add, that All Children are under her purview, so she is content with a flock of kid(s) to look after. Otherwise you need sheep or ducks. They are loving working dogs, respect that. Full disclosure, I own an aussie/great pyrenees mix and she's still a puppy and therefore a fuckin' handful sometimes, but I knew what I was getting into (never off the leash in an unsupervised area, jeez). You clearly didn't. You mentioned that she'd be much happier at a farm that you visited a while ago and I know we're not supposed to suggest rehoming but please think about what's best for your doge (and this includes how sensitive and bonded they are with you). Post pictures of your dogge so we can say aww how cute too.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 20, 2015 21:57
|
|
|
slap me silly posted:Aargh, stop it! Don't make me start swinging the probe-hammer. But, yeah, doge pics are welcome i've been reading (posting?) in this thread for a loving year, i demand dog pics
|
|
#
¿
Jul 20, 2015 22:55
|
|
|
bringer posted:Even when one of them has attacked another familiar dog and there's a baby in the house? This isn't about getting rid of the dog because it's expensive, it's about protecting their baby from a poorly trained dog that has aggression problems. Yeahhhhh. That injury is worrying.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 21, 2015 10:45
|
|
|
It'll be different this time, guys. Honest.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 5, 2015 23:13
|
|
|
Glob drat. Move this thread to en. KG your addictive and impulsive personality are wrecking your life.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 10, 2015 15:44
|
|
|
Yeah, you're such a functional adult, demonstrated by good decisions such as:
|
|
#
¿
Oct 11, 2015 02:00
|
|
|
n8r posted:What sort of savvy things do you plan on doing? One of the things I'd encourage you to do is to write down a firm list of goals for yourself. This will help you stay focused on short, medium, and longer term goals. This was suggested at least a year, year and a half ago. Worked great.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 11, 2015 02:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 7, 2024 01:12 |
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Paying off my kid's hospital bills in full as soon as they were billed to us lol it's called tough love dipshit your finances are only a symptom of your issues and can't be fixed until you address those issues IN THERAPY FOR REAL you evade and elide constantly, but you know you can't run from your escapist tendencies forever. you already admitted you have issues with alcohol WHICH IS OK BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE DO, but now it seems like you're addicted to cigarettes? you probably still drink, too. you trade your addictions and your impulses are a bandaid on whatever cancer you have going on in your head. Get your poo poo together. It's ok to have problems, it is not ok to know you have problems and then not address them especially if you are a parent to a helpless babby, goddam Edit: This thread is two years old. Tuyop and Cornholio pulled it together in that amount of time. Meanwhile your thread is still spinning its wheels. There has to be a reason for that. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 06:55 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
¿
Oct 12, 2015 01:14
|
|