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Bored posted:So, I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder and previous doctors have mentioned that this is possible, but my current psychiatrist says it is not possible, even if you are a rapid cycler. I have never heard the term "mixed mode" before, so now I at least have something to bring up next time I see him when he tells me it's not possible to have, like, 5 hours of hypermania at a time. You can absolutely have mixed episodes. I have issues with agitated depression, where I have the energy you get when you're hypomanic or manic but it's all directed towards how loving awful everything is and how terrible I am as a person. It's so much worse than the regular, heavy depression that keeps me in bed all day. seiferguy posted:Good lord, on top of dealing with the mental disease she might be cheating on you. Though I guess this behavior could be expected. Still I'll admit that I did some terrible things when I was at my worst. My husband and I had separated, I was working 60-70 hours a week in a busy as gently caress kitchen, and I just let go. I kept sleeping with other people even after we said we wouldn't in counseling. I just wanted to destroy everything keeping me here and find some way to feel good just for right now or at least numb everything out and shut down my brain. I was honest with him about it and told him everything while he was driving me to the ER because I didn't know how to get help any other way. Thank god he was understanding and forgave me as long as I kept up with treatment, or I would probably not be here right now. I had abused myself and tried to tear down my life so much that I would more than likely have stopped waiting until tomorrow to kill myself like I've done for 15 years. OP, you're right in that there are not very many resources for the family and friends of people suffering from mental illness, so thank you for making this thread and being candid about your experiences. It's really hard being sick and knowing that people will throw you away because it's too much to deal with, especially with some of the horrible things people say about mental illness when they don't know who's listening. It just makes it that much harder to get better or even to want to get better, and I think more resources for people like you would help take some of the burden away and make it easier for people like me or Joanne to feel secure in our relationships and support networks.
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Dec 17, 2013 04:56
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FunWithWombats posted:I was the enemy, and in Joanne's mind, the surefire way out was to sleep with someone else. This might not make a lot of sense to you, why not just leave? Why not just tell me that was that? All that can be said is it made sense to Joanne at the time. I really doubt it was actually about leaving you. In my case, it was purely about making everyone hate me so that I could feel justified in my self-hatred and to isolate myself to the point of either suicide or just really dangerous behavior without caring if I lived or died. It was really subconsciously manipulative, and god knows I had all kinds of justifications in my head, but none of them make any sense to me now and I don't even know why I came up with them. Thankfully, I am a lot more responsive to medication and a lot less ill than Joanne was, so I'm doing much, much better even though it's only been a little less than two years since I was hospitalized.
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Dec 17, 2013 19:14
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FunWithWombats posted:Can I be mad at an illness? God knows I am.
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Jan 9, 2014 21:02
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You can also search "community mental health [county/city/state]" to see if there's something available to you. I'm low income and uninsured and I go to a public clinic for weekly therapy (free) and I have access to a psych nurse at least annually or more often if I need it (also free). They set me up on prescription assistance programs and I pay exactly $0 for my medication, which would be ~$400/mo without insurance. There are resources available, and I hope you can seek them out in your area.
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Jan 17, 2014 17:18
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