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Casimir Radon posted:I'm kind of surprised how competent the dinosaur man is done. Buddy Davis is apparently a taxidermist who made a bunch of the Creation Museum's dinosaurs, so that's probably why. Talk about misusing your talents. I had the fortune of visiting it once with a friend. It's genuinely impressive. If you're ever in the area please don't let anything stop you form seeing it. It's wonderful and terrifying. Like the Hagia Sophia of the religious right.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:51
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Casimir Radon posted:One Christmas grandma gave a VHS copy of The Creation Adventure Team: 6 Short Days, One Big Adventure to my brother.
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Dec 21, 2013 08:53
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Grey Fox V2 posted:They lost me at the part where they said dinosaurs went extinct because I touch myself at night. It isn't god's fault that you can't handle the truth of his Word.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:04
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The belief that fossils are millions of years old is just a belief! You know not a detailed and specific testable science that can be repeated with accuracy and precision. This is making my entire core hurt. e: Oh my god it gets worse. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck And it ends with a sequel tease about human evolution. Tell me this exists. 
weekly font fucked around with this message at 17:50 on Dec 21, 2013 |
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Dec 21, 2013 17:45
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You can't prove evolution because nobody was there. Also nobody was there at the start of the Bible either, but something something God so we know what happened.
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Dec 21, 2013 18:35
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Lets! Get! Weird! posted:The best part is the dinosaur just tickling him because Death wasn't A Thing yet.
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Dec 21, 2013 18:45
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This was mentioned a couple pages back but I just watched Cleanflix and 
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Dec 21, 2013 18:49
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Slate Action posted:This was mentioned a couple pages back but I just watched Cleanflix and That movie is wonderful in it's heaping helping of IRONY. Anyone seen "Hell House"? Fairly entertaining to watch a church group preparing for their Halloween event. Easily my favorite part is the argument between two of them when working on the script for the house because they can't figure out if they should refer to Magic cards (the game Magic)
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Dec 21, 2013 20:20
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Something to point out about Sherwood Pictures (the people behind Fireproof and Courageous) is that their whole thing is to sell crap that they introduce in their movies. Like how Fireproof has Kirk Cameron fix his marriage because of a book called "The Love Dare" and surprise surprise they just happen to actually sell that book.
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Dec 21, 2013 23:19
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As someone who was a Lutheran as a teenager, this entire thread is really a blast from the past. VeggieTales was dead-on the highest of the high when it came to Christian home media back in the late '90s. I have no idea what it's like today, other than its still running. But the stuff I watched back then, I dunno, it seemed like a bunch of good things to teach kids (a LOT of it was "don't be a dick to people") from a Christian perspective. The animation also wasn't bad for the time. Left Behind, wow, that book series was pretty damned popular back then and the movie was seen as a God-send to church congregations. I only saw it once and it was both hilariously low-budget, ham-fisted and overall just...bland. The best way I could have put it is it was like whatever Christian movie production wanted badly to make a big-budget apocalyptic movie on-scale with what was depicted in the books but didn't have the money or talent to pull it off. I never saw the final two movies because, by the time of their release, I wasn't really going to church anymore.
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Dec 21, 2013 23:50
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joylessdivision posted:Anyone seen "Hell House"? Fairly entertaining to watch a church group preparing for their Halloween event. Easily my favorite part is the argument between two of them when working on the script for the house because they can't figure out if they should refer to Magic cards (the game Magic) Is that the one with the weird guy who's insistent that they get the rave scene perfect because he used to be a raver before he changed his ways so he knows how they really are?
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Dec 22, 2013 01:23
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aslan posted:Also, please feel free to share the absolute worst Christian movies you've ever seen. I think mine has to be this one, which inexplicably has the premise of a horror movie (and is shot vaguely like one)--due to a sudden road closure, a bunch of strangers are trapped in a roadside cafe . . . where the cafe's owner seems to know a creepy amount of information about their lives. Because he's Jesus, of course. When Jesus isn't coming off like a serial killer, he comes off like a controlling, abusive husband. I'm not sure how anybody, believer or non-, could watch it and want to be a Christian afterward, but there you go. Holy gently caress I gotta watch this, the quotes page is something else. I just wish there were more. quote:Jesus: Would you like some water? 
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Dec 22, 2013 01:46
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What, no wine?
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Dec 22, 2013 01:59
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AGirlWonder posted:What, no wine? Yeah at first I thought he was gonna go there. "Have some water, abracadabra!" But no, he went with incorrect physics.
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Dec 22, 2013 02:10
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I do a lot of low/no budget Christian short films for my church and youth programs. Its a good way to express non-musical gifts. I get frusterated with a lot of the garbage out there but the audience is eating it so I've learned to live around it. I hosting a second annual Christian local short film festival next month. Pretty excited to see what actual Christians come up with.
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Dec 22, 2013 02:23
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joylessdivision posted:That movie is wonderful in it's heaping helping of IRONY. Biff Rockgroin posted:Is that the one with the weird guy who's insistent that they get the rave scene perfect because he used to be a raver before he changed his ways so he knows how they really are? I watched some other documentary a couple years ago about Christians who really believe the apocalypse is going to be within the next few years. Then they focused in on how the parents were telling their kids the world was going to end before they grew up, and I couldn't take it anymore.
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Dec 22, 2013 02:33
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Biff Rockgroin posted:Is that the one with the weird guy who's insistent that they get the rave scene perfect because he used to be a raver before he changed his ways so he knows how they really are? Yeah, and it also has the guy who super badly wants the scene with the wife leaving her husband of some dude on the Internet and then he kills her. He insists so much it seemed like there was more truth in it than he was letting on.
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Dec 22, 2013 08:04
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There's Christian media, and then there's "Christian media" There are plenty of songs on the radio about Jesus, about God, about Christianity, and they're good songs with thoughtful lyrics. Chart toppers, even. These tend to talk about religion in a way non-religious people can appreciate. Then you have the artists who are only sold in Christian book stores because their songs would never make it in the arena of the music market. Lyrics in these songs tend to be more exclusionary. The vocabulary they use is church talk and anyone who isn't religious feels like an outside peering in. There are plenty of movies and books and movies based on books about Christianity and Christ figures that are critically acclaimed; Wrath of Khan, Lord of the Rings, Superman, Alien III, etc. You even have movies that are about literal, non-metaphorical Christianity, and have some moral complexity, like The Mission. Then you have the poo poo that this thread is about. ***** Myself being Christian and having been asked to help out in short film competitions before, they kind of make me wince. In the real world, people will tell you that your movie sucks, and you have to make a soul-searching decision about whether to keep trying or drop out, but in Christian film competitions everyone is told that they're great and that they did a good job. There isn't as much of that self-critical eye, that embarrassment of "boy my movie really sucks, I need to do better" to spur people to improve. I guess the same could be said about preachy Christian movies, if they know hundreds of thousands of pious folk will buy the DVD no matter how bad it sucks, why bother improving? Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Dec 22, 2013 |
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Dec 22, 2013 09:18
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The music thing reminds me, I heard Pedro the Lion and P.O.D. for the first time about the same time more than ten years ago. I still listen to the former, because he says something important about life and truth regardless of your faith of lack thereof. P.O.D. was just some bullshit construct imo.
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Dec 22, 2013 09:31
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I think christian media also differs a bit depending on what brand of Christianity you have. Catholicism, for instance, isn't quite the same as evangelical christianity - I don't think there's such a big theme of nothing ever being bad for people who believe in the true love and light of Jebus, because Catholicism is really big on suffering (see: passion of the Christ). I was raised Catholic, but pretty liberally so - however, I did have the opportunity to see Joshua, which I thought was lame, and this sort of..animated bible stories show, called..Bible Adventures or something, which wasn't that bad all told - because things that are just basic retellings of bible stories don't tend to have nearly that whole insidious manipulative message about Good Christian Families or whatever else. Plus, when you're a kid, you just watch it going "oh, the ark! Oh yay, the garden of eden!" and you interpret it as the same sort of thing as Goldilocks, or Oliver! or whatever else. Or at least I did. I actually had no idea that the Chronicles of Narnia had a very strong Christian message until I was a lot older. Apparently CS Lewis thought kids would be able to pick up on the true meaning of the stories - but I certainly didn't. I don't think kids tend to be that good at analysis and deeper literary themes, for some reason.
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Dec 22, 2013 11:42
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:What about C Me Dance? I haven't seen it myself, but I remember it being a hot topic on the Who Greenlighted thread like 4 or 5 years ago, or whatever its equivalent was. That was back when BulletRiddled was something of a bad movie crash test dummy on the forums, and I think he saw it but he had to special order it from the releasing company because at the time they were only supplying it to churches and church groups or something along those lines. I don't remember the exact story, but it looked like a godawful low-budget preachy piece of poo poo from the trailer: C Me Dance is not a waste of your time. It is astonishingly bad. The idea behind the film is not only terrifying, but totally heretical.
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Dec 22, 2013 12:43
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since the releasing company themselves have this up on their channel:
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Steve Yun posted:There's Christian media, and then there's "Christian media" I was totally blindsided by the religious message in This Is The End. It probably had more to say about Christian morals (and from two Jewish boys, no less) than any of these films here in between the bouts of drug use and jokes about jacking off and dicks. Lesson here is "don't be preachy, let the message come naturally" and "dick jokes". Infamous Sphere posted:I think christian media also differs a bit depending on what brand of Christianity you have. Catholicism, for instance, isn't quite the same as evangelical christianity - I don't think there's such a big theme of nothing ever being bad for people who believe in the true love and light of Jebus, because Catholicism is really big on suffering (see: passion of the Christ). I was raised Catholic, but pretty liberally so - however, I did have the opportunity to see Joshua, which I thought was lame, and this sort of..animated bible stories show, called..Bible Adventures or something, which wasn't that bad all told - because things that are just basic retellings of bible stories don't tend to have nearly that whole insidious manipulative message about Good Christian Families or whatever else. Plus, when you're a kid, you just watch it going "oh, the ark! Oh yay, the garden of eden!" and you interpret it as the same sort of thing as Goldilocks, or Oliver! or whatever else. Or at least I did. This wasn't Superbook or the Flying House, wasn't it? They were Japanese animated shows from the early '80s, I believe one of them was actually financed by Pat Robertson. Despite that, they weren't bad shows, especially considering that they came from Japan and were for the most part made for Japanese audiences who aren't just not Christian but also tend to be not religious altogether with Buddhism and their own native religion Shinto. The funny thing is that Tatsunoko, the production studio who made both shows, did this in between Gatchaman (i.e. Battle Of The Planets and G-Force) and Super-Dimenstional Fortress Macross and the other two shows that would make up the series Robotech.
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Dec 22, 2013 15:55
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Yeah, it was definitely Superbook - there was a bible that sent the kids back in time to the biblical days. I remember them having to get to grips with biblical technology, etc.
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Dec 22, 2013 22:42
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I didn't see a mention of it, did anyone else ever have any exposure to McGee & Me? Some kid would face trials such as LYING TO HIS PARENTS and his little animated sidekick would pop off the page and teach him a biblical lesson to help him not be evil or some poo poo. I babysat some kids who parents required them to watch one every night so as to instill good values at a young age. Hilariously the husband was loving around on his wife. So much for Jesusy values I guess.
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Dec 23, 2013 06:14
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Rhyno posted:I didn't see a mention of it, did anyone else ever have any exposure to McGee & Me? Some kid would face trials such as LYING TO HIS PARENTS and his little animated sidekick would pop off the page and teach him a biblical lesson to help him not be evil or some poo poo.
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Dec 23, 2013 06:46
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All this discussion of terrible Christian children's shows and none has mentioned The Kingdom Chums Original Top Ten yet? It's really something else.
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Dec 23, 2013 08:44
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Just Offscreen posted:All this discussion of terrible Christian children's shows and none has mentioned The Kingdom Chums Original Top Ten yet? If you truly want to experience mindfuck there's always The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson.
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Dec 23, 2013 08:57
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Rhyno posted:I didn't see a mention of it, did anyone else ever have any exposure to McGee & Me? Some kid would face trials such as LYING TO HIS PARENTS and his little animated sidekick would pop off the page and teach him a biblical lesson to help him not be evil or some poo poo. I was catching up with this thread and about to post something related to McGee and Me, an unfortunate (and mostly forgotten until now) staple of my childhood. I don't think they have them anymore, but I know my parents used to have all of McGee and Me on VHS. The only thing it managed instill in me was a deep-seeded fear of Carol of the Bells thanks to the sequence at 1:01.
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Dec 23, 2013 23:17
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4 Catholic Kidz Only https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IHFpnQATjE There were a whole bunch of these Catholic Specific ones about saints n poo poo. This one has Tress McNeille voicing the lead.
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Dec 24, 2013 01:34
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I caught Tribulation on TV once, and it was actually the first time I ever learned about the Rapture (growing up in a predominantly Catholic country, we thankfully didn't get a lot of rapture-folk or creationists). I thought it was a hilarious misinterpretation of the Bible since someone in the movie says "every Christian believes in this", and I, at the time Catholic, certainly did not, but after spending a lot of time on the internet, I realized how wrong I was. D: Anyway, the movie was pretty funny to me back then, because I didn't watch it expecting a Christian propaganda film. It was a movie about how some Satan guy had taken over the world, and the resistance's plan of rebellion was literally driving around in a van broadcasting old episodes of (what I think was) The 700 Club. There was a lot of weird stuff too, like people being forced into a VR machine where they had to accept Satan or stick with Jesus, and if you chose Satan, you'd get branded with a 666 and automagically turn evil. Infamous Sphere posted:Yeah, it was definitely Superbook - there was a bible that sent the kids back in time to the biblical days. I remember them having to get to grips with biblical technology, etc. I loved Superbook and Flying House as a kid, and I was so pissed that Jesus seemed to be completely clueless that they were time travellers. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOD, JESUS
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Dec 24, 2013 12:48
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When I was a small child, my babysitter, apparently appalled at my lack of Christian upbringing due to being Jewish, decided she would try her best to convert me. So she showed me leagues of terrible, terrible Christian children's videos. I can only remember a few, but most notably was HiTops, a stage play about three angels who go down to Earth High School to learn about fads and shoes with honestly some of the worst musical numbers I've ever heard. Also some kids learn about Jesus by joining a Christian band and wearing shoes? To be honest, I don't remember there being a LOT of Jesus talk in it. It was mainly focused on peer pressure. Now the reason this was actually memorable to me is mostly that this whole thing is completely insane, even beyond what you would expect. The angels come in three flavors.  Daft Punk.  Craft Store Nightmare and Space Gandalf.  And then there's the best motherfucker in this movie, Satan, who is some kind of glitter skull-themed Liberache and is the main reason that the babysitter's plan backfired, because how was I ever going to see this guy and not think he was the absolute best. Also every other character is so insufferable that I genuinely wanted him to succeed. He doesn't even really get defeated, he just gets really hosed up on satan booze and painkillers and then just kind of wanders off. Also God appears as a strobe light that only Space Gandalf can understand. HellOnEarth fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Dec 24, 2013 |
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Dec 24, 2013 18:43
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HellOnEarth posted:
:iamafag: More lamé for the Lamé God! 
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Dec 24, 2013 20:56
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Young Freud posted:I was totally blindsided by the religious message in This Is The End. It probably had more to say about Christian morals (and from two Jewish boys, no less) than any of these films here in between the bouts of drug use and jokes about jacking off and dicks. Lesson here is "don't be preachy, let the message come naturally" and "dick jokes".
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Dec 25, 2013 01:03
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I would pay an obscene amount of money to get a actual real budge full on Left Behind series, those books are loving crazy. At one point Wasps with the heads of lions and scorpion tails fly around stinging people. Oceans turn to blood. Crazy crazy poo poo happens in that book. One character prays to god to find out if it's okay to marry in the real world since his wife is in heaven and his wife appears and tells him its cool. I loving love the batshit Left Behind series.
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Dec 25, 2013 01:59
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Hollismason posted:I would pay an obscene amount of money to get a actual real budge full on Left Behind series, those books are loving crazy. At one point Wasps with the heads of lions and scorpion tails fly around stinging people. I've got good news. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_Behind_(2014_film)
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Dec 25, 2013 02:50
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BrendianaJones posted:I've got good news. quote:Nicolas Cage It's a Christmas miracle!
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Dec 25, 2013 03:16
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Ashley Tisdale was originally going to be in it as the female lead, but she dropped out. But still, you want an insane rapture movie, why not Cage?
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Dec 25, 2013 03:30
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There still has not been a trailer for it I don't think. I am so hoping it hits big, because seriously having all of the Left Behind stuff on film with Nicolas Cage would be amazing.
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Dec 25, 2013 04:15
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If I ever met Kirk Cameron in real life I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself from taunting him about being replaced by Nicolas Cage.
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Dec 25, 2013 04:30
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Hollismason posted:I would pay an obscene amount of money to get a actual real budge full on Left Behind series, those books are loving crazy. At one point Wasps with the heads of lions and scorpion tails fly around stinging people. You should play the RTS Left Behind game. You use gospel singers and youth pasters to convert the forces of the Anti Christ, aka college proffessors and rock musicians. http://leftbehind.wikia.com/wiki/Left_Behind:_Eternal_Forces
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Dec 25, 2013 05:38
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