|
"When I grow up, I will marry a chair. That way when my legs get tired, I can sit on my husband's face." Never gets old. Also "Welcome to Stadium! Tonight Show is Hitler 1,2,3!" I still don't entirely understand what that means. I just really want to know what Hitler 1,2,3 sound like. Is it J-Pop? I bet it's J-Pop and their moustaches are sugoi. On the other end of the spectrum, there's this horrible song CD for the little kids we have. It's pretty obvious somebody in upper management has a friend who's "totally a musician and will work for free, dude!" who they hired to make it. There's one particular song that's supposed to be sung by a friendly dog, but the dude singing sounds like an alcoholic Brooklyn cab driver. The lyrics are: BALLS BALLS BALLS I LOVE BALLS IN MY MOUTH I LOVE BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS AND BONES! I LOVE BONES! BIG JUICY BONES! IN MY MOUTH! BONES AND BALLS! YAY! Imagine that being spat out by Tony Soprano with a throat infection and you've got some idea of how horrible that song is. There's also a song done by a guy doing a really convincing Hank Hill impersonation, that includes the line "no! that's just not right!" We have some weird materials at my school. SurreptitiousMuffin has a new favorite as of 10:41 on Dec 27, 2013 |
#
¿
Dec 27, 2013 10:20
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 14, 2024 10:33 |
|
|
Recently, I've had very young students (5-8) doodling pictures of the Slender Man in their books. I also overheard one of the older kids telling the others the spooooooky story about the tall man with no face, who lives in the woods and makes scary noises on your cell phone. It's so weird seeing an urban legend being born. edit: forgot one. I was talking with a class of older students about the social aspects of fashion, and this happened.  so [male student], do you think you'd look good in a bright pink dress? No, I wouldn't. that's my p- I'd look FABULOUS.SurreptitiousMuffin has a new favorite as of 12:39 on Dec 28, 2013 |
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2013 09:44
|
|
|
My sister told me she had the opposite thing happen to her in France: she kept telling people she was "tres excite" because she thought it meant 'excited'. Nobody told her for like six months because they thought it was hilarious. "I'm so horny."
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2013 16:48
|
|
|
I sometimes teach classes of younger kids. One of them is very advanced language-wise, but too young to be put into proper classes. Today I had them create their own country and flag. One of the boys is very hyperactive, and was zooming around the room shouting "CAN I VISIT YOUR COUNTRY CAN I VISIT YOUR COUNTRY CAN I VISIT YOUR COUNTRY?!?" One of the other boys stands up, stops him dead in his tracks and says "Yes, you can visit my country. But if you are noisy, my soldier will kill you."  Also "in my country we make lightsabers. Other countries start war, but we start peace."
|
|
#
¿
Jan 16, 2014 12:03
|
|
|
The continued adventures of lightsaber class: I had them draw and present inventions to the rest of the class. Lightsaber Girl did a swiss-army gold ring with lightsabers in, and one of the boys took out his own picture and said "It is a meteor. It is made of gold. It is made by God, in Heaven. It is used to destroy." The picture was of it smiting the hell out of some fishermen, who apparently committed the sin of "Potato Shooting". That's what he told me they did wrong, when I asked him. I don't know if that entails shooting at potatoes or shooting with potatoes, but either way it apparently makes God very angry. Also, tiny adorable girl sitting at the back drew "it is a castle. It is made of zombies. It is made by me. It is used to protect the princess because it is scary." SurreptitiousMuffin has a new favorite as of 16:43 on Jan 22, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Jan 22, 2014 16:39
|
|
|
I'm still doing that "invent a country" activity, because it's great for teaching modals of permission/obligation. With a class of adults today, I got this horrifying group of laws: 1) it is prohibited to be sad. 2) people who take bribes must be executed. 3) no despair. 4) education must be free. 5) smoking shisha is not allowed. You must close your bar and make restaurant. "SMILE, CITIZEN, THE POLICE ARE COMING."
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2014 07:00
|
|
|
"He said to me 'my cat, he has gone up, help my cat,' so we found the trees and we got high."
|
|
#
¿
Sep 3, 2014 16:31
|
|
|
Teaching older Russian dudes: "Okay, so you need to choose six people who you could have dinner with. Any six people, living or dead." "Sir, what about Arnold Schwarzenegger?" "Okay, sure." "Can I have Hitler?" "Um, sure. Why not." "Can I also have Sasha Grey?" That's gonna be a hell of a dinner party.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 18, 2014 10:59
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 14, 2024 10:33 |
|
|
Oh god, this thread. There's an activity where the students get given a made-up list of prisoners, and they have to choose a small number to release. After that, they design posters advocating for their chosen person's freedom and vote on who gets to leave. One of the prisoners is a single mother who was caught with 1kg of Marijuana. The poster read. THIS WOMAN, THEY SAY SHE IS SICK IN THE HEAD BUT MARIJUANA MAKE YOU HAPPY, SO SHE HAVE A HAPPY VIRUS. RELEASE HER, AND SPREAD THE HAPPY VIRUS. with a cartoon of the woman loving rockin' it up inside a jail cell with a great big smile on her face, and surrounded by white clouds.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 12, 2015 01:59
|
|