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This wasn't as bad as I expected (I watched the trailer when you first put it up, wrote a long response, and accidentally closed my browser), but it was still bad. I think almost any sitcom I have ever watched, the pilot wasn't ever very funny. Usually you get attached to a character or the premise, which is what makes you stick around for the second episode, and it gets funny from there. Your ginger character is completely miscast. I am a straight guy, but I can tell he is not a guy that successfully pulls girls all the time. His face looks weird, and I only know he's the way he is because other characters say he is. He doesn't project that image at all. The gay character, Tails, wearing a tails shirt  I kind of liked following her storyline, she was the most sympathetic of the characters, but I'll say more about her in a minute.The long-haired buffoon guy is just awful in every way. In the third episode when he's slapping himself on the rear end is just cringey and not funny whatsoever. Nothing he does ever makes sense, and I have no sense of his character at all. The metalhead theme you are going for IS NOT WORKING. I agree with all the criticism of it from previous posts, like the Nightmare Before Christmas shirt etc. I was briefly, from ages like 15-19 really into metal, so I should be able to appreciate this setting, but I can't. I don't listen to metal at all anymore and I don't follow the scene, but I saw the "Wacken 2005" shirt and knew what it was, I recognized some bands, etc. But you are just doing a random mismash of metal, Hot Topic fashion, skater style, oldschool rock, it just makes no sense to me at all. Tails looks like a skater girl from 2003. Ginger looks like a normal guy, but for some reason he has eyeshadow on. He wears weird boots sometimes, button-up shirts that nerds wear (with those stupid swirls on them that you have on your logo), and nothing he does makes him seem into metal, at all. The longhair character looks the most like an actual metalhead, but again he acts totally random and isn't funny and never says anything of merit. The idea of a douchey guy who meets a girl that he wants to be more than a random hookup with, who is friends with a gay girl that doesn't know how to meet girls is not bad. The "metalhead" thing feels like--at best--a random aesthetic that adds nothing to the premise, and at worst it gets in the way and clashes with the characters you have set up. No one into metal is going to be drawn to this because it really has no connection to metal at all, and people who aren't into metal are certainly not going to see the appeal of your premise. The acting was really bad at places, but it was okay in others. I am not a huge critic of acting; as long as I can't tell they are acting I don't notice it. I really am confounded that you went with this metalhedz (and why with a 'z'???) premise.
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Mar 9, 2014 00:10
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Let me try to help you with taking criticism. I write a lot and am in a few different writing groups. I know it's hard to hear criticism about something that you worked really hard on it and put a lot of time into, but you want to avoid getting so defensive about it. When people crit your work, they not only have spent time watching it, but they've gone the extra mile to think about why it worked and why it didn't, then they spent even more time formulating their opinions in a way that can help you improve what you've done. Criticisms are there to help you improve. You aren't coming off as a jerk or anything, but it makes me not want to give you any further feedback because it feels like you're denying the validity of our opinions. If everyone in the thread is saying: "The metal thing isn't working for me," then you shouldn't just blow it off as, "Well, that's your opinion." We are giving you this feedback so that you can improve what you've done, not so that you can defend what you've done to us and not change anything. I don't think a single person in this thread has said they like the metal aesthetic, and very few people have even responded to the thread. Most people probably saw the name "Metalhedz" and were deterred from even clicking the thread. The ending words with 'z' thing is really cheesy and is going to push most people away. Most people don't have any real positive associations with metal as a genre or as a scene, so if the 'z' at the end didn't scare them away, the metal thing did. You have like three or four people who have even responded, and you've told all of us, "That's your opinion," and "So then it's not for you." quote:He is the buffoon of the group, and is mainly there for comic effect. He's supposed to be cringey and ridiculous but, humour is pretty personal and subjective, so it didn't work for you. That's fair. I'm surprised his character isn't obvious though, he's a dirty, pervy rear end in a top hat. This is a really annoying response to a valid criticism I gave. Yes, everything is subjective, but from the three episodes you've given us, this character is nothing more than a collection of cliches (or you can call it "comic relief.") Don't tell people "humor is subjective" and then dismiss their criticism. You are free to dismiss criticism if you think it's wrong, but don't tell people that what they feel is basically wrong. I have seen three episodes of this character and I completely hate him in such a way that I hate the show. When you had him slapping his butt for no reason, I was cringing for you, not for the characters in the show. Seeing him do this broke me out of the show and made me just cringe that a bunch of people sat together, planned out that he do this, filmed it, and edited it. There are positive and successful aspects of this show; I've done short films for projects in university and know how hard it is to make this kind of thing not look exceptionally low budget (I never even tried to pull it off, I just went with super cheesy to play off how bad we were at film making.) For all the criticism, you actually have overcome the greatest part of that cheese factor and made something that at times feels almost like a real show. It's still not a show I would watch, and if you keep hearing the same criticisms from multiple people, you really should just say, "Thanks for the feedback," and ask more questions, because at this point I don't want to bother addressing anything more specific since you will likely just chalk it down to personal preference rather than a fault of yourself/the writers/actors/directors/etc.
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Mar 11, 2014 20:36
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kizeesh posted:With the best will in the world dude, none of this is feedback for the show. You've obviously got a bee in your bonnet about this aspect of things, but You can't loving google the show because of how bad the name is, and once again you are jumping on people who are taking the time to offer you feedback. Hey man, SORRRRRRRY that you didn't like my crit, you know, sorry that you've got sand in your vagina about the crits that we are giving you that you asked for (this is how you sound, by the way, not what I am unsarcastically saying,) but you can't even Youtube search it: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=metalhedz "Yeah we've got a webseries out called Metalhedz, you should check it out." "Yeah cool, maybe I'll google it." "It's spelled 'metal, then h-e-d-z." "Okay... I think I can remember that, no 'a,'...and a 'z,' got it." "Yeah, so search it on Youtube or Google, then it's gonna auto correct to search for 'Metal h-e-a-d-z, so you've gotta click on 'search instead for 'h-e-d-z.' "Okay..."
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May 7, 2014 15:06
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