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 Pooch Café is a comic strip about an allen key-shaped dog who is just a real rear end in a top hat. What a super dick this dog is, you don't even know. He is mean:  He is dumb:  He is greedy:  He is Poncho. The thread first met him during Poncho: Year One, a retcon-filled look at his origin story. And I do mean origin. The first week of strips takes place in utero.  Ballard Street is a daily strip that offers glimpses into the lives of the insane people that live on a quiet suburban street. In practice, it reads like a man having a new yorker caption contest with himself and losing.  Natalie is in a loveless relationship.  Earl is a patriot.  Donald is OG.
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Jan 2, 2014 19:25
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 09:22 |
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Hägar the Historically-Accurate Viking I post these sometimes. Here are the others.
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Jan 2, 2014 21:24
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tiistai posted:Fok_it Somebody try and tell me that Fok_it wasn't better in the old days. Go ahead and try. It's really Changed Seats Comix. Pooch Café  If you're new to this strip, this is the titular Café. Don't expect to see it very often. Ballard Street  Every party's got one of these. A good host will seat them in an armchair next to the dog. The shy guest gets to connect with something, the dog gets a night of free head scritches, everybody wins.
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Jan 3, 2014 17:20
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Oh man, Foxy Grandpa looks like it's going to be amazing. I have nothing original to say about these Old Animal Comix. Pooch Café  We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go live in t'lake! Ballard Street  I posited a theory a couple of threads ago that Ballard Street is actually an open fetish community and every strip could be taken as an example of foreplay. I have yet to be proven wrong.
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Jan 4, 2014 15:31
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You know what I like posting best? Dog Comix. Pooch Café  Don't give a dog a cell phone.  Did the colourist ruin this joke or improve it? Who can say. Ballard Street  Yes, play. It is only play. As a lion cub silently creeps through the grass and pounces on a bug. As wolf cubs stalk and surround a flower. As a child lines up the perfect shot through his video game gun sights. Only play. Only preparation for the day that will come.
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Jan 6, 2014 17:57
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All that matters is the Thrill of the Hunt Comix. Pooch Café  Before you judge Hudson, what part of the chicken is the tender? Ballard Street  It really does happen just that quickly. Somebody I'd just met in university once asked me "Hey, do you remember Transformers?" and a week later I had a collection. Now I have five storage bins full of the loving things. I've even got japanese imports in there from ebay. It took years to stop. The next summer I bought one nerf gun. Now I can't open my hall closet.
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Jan 7, 2014 17:59
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Barely a week into the new year and I'm already ignoring my own Instruction Comix. Pooch Café   Turns out the smartest dog in the world is still really dumb.   More Mr. Crosby strips, please.
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Jan 9, 2014 20:09
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I love it when A Plan Comes Together Comix. Pooch Café  When this strip is good, it's really good. Ballard Street  Ah, see, he's laying out all the teapots and sauce tureens along ley lines. That way they will collect something something.
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Jan 10, 2014 19:32
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These Runaway Comix are never coming back. Pooch Café  The last week's weather was absolutely brutal. My tongue froze to a metal knife indoors. Ballard Street  I used to do this when I was a kid. A friend and I would just stand somewhere doing nothing suspicious at all, and bolt whenever we saw an adult. It was a game to see who would chase us under no other provocation than the fact that we ran. A lot of dogs, as it turned out.
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Jan 11, 2014 17:30
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Trent posted:Man the copy/paste bits and random black mspaint squiggles are so bad. This is just unprofessional from a technical standpoint. At least something terrible-looking like reply all is consistent enough to call it a style rather than laziness or ineptitude. The Prince Valiant colourist does it too. I'd think a professional visual artist would have something better than a $99 Acer lcd or know enough to use the eyedropper when picking colours to make sure everything matches, but then I'm not a lazy piece of garbage. Well, I am, but I'm a lazy piece of garbage who occasionally gives a poo poo about his work. Consider this your Wake-Up Call Comix.   Hudson is aware that he's in a comic strip, but fortunately he is a dog and doesn't have the capacity for existential dread. Ballard Street  I'm imagining the solo from Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy here, and I absolutely cannot see this from Elizabeth's perspective because that song rules.
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Jan 13, 2014 16:58
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BlankIsBeautiful posted:Just hope you don't wipe out your 4G cap (or 3G in my case. Around here 4G is mythological 3G, Jesus. How do you steam HD videos?? When my LTE dips into 4G speeds I feel Lost and Alone Comix. Pooch Café  I waited until my post would be on the light-coloured background before hitting reply to make this one work better. If you're browsing the forums in a non-standard way, you are sabotaging your own reading experience. Ballard Street  Translation: Arthur's wife was throwing out an armoire.
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Jan 14, 2014 16:45
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GorfZaplen posted:The Amazing Spider-Man  Danger! Do Not Cross Comix! Pooch Café   I have considered that option myself once or twice in the last few weeks. Wind chill went past -40 for God's sake. You go out at forty below and tell me you don't even once thinking about murdering your friend and draping yourself in his steaming hot entrails. Ballard Street   Ballard Dogs can be vicious, even when they're not armed with six-shooters.
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Jan 16, 2014 18:15
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After a week's reprieve the temperature's starting to dip again, so cuddle up with some Warm and Cozy Dog Comix. Pooch Café  The way Paul draws cats' paws and eyes makes them all look like little purple gorillas. Ballard Street  The way Jerry draws dogs' everything makes them all look amazing all the time.
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Jan 17, 2014 16:48
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Holy poo poo, Foxy Grandpa is a badass. I thought he'd get out of the duel somehow or maybe get the count to slip on a second banana peel or something, but nope, he just straight up outclasses him in open combat. Look at the last panel. The man is terrified.
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Jan 17, 2014 20:19
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Ha ha, yeah! Take that, you filthy unionizer! Bang, Zoom! To the Moon Comix! Pooch Café   The panels are silent, but all throughout his vet visit, Poncho is singing a chorus of one and one thousand voices in dissonant unison. Impossible notes forming impossible chords, and the lyrics are all the events that have come to pass, and all those that will. Those who hear a single word are driven mad. Those who hear them all are worse off, for they are given true sanity. Ballard Street  He's been through this before. She's going to set that rocket off indoors no matter what. THE THUNDER CART cannot be stopped.
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Jan 19, 2014 17:56
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My Hero Comix. Pooch Café  Wait, now the can't can't talk? And Hudson understands them anyway? This comic needs to get a grip on its own premise. Ballard Street  His nose looks like it came off of a turn-of-the-century racist caricature instead of a urology chart, and that might even be a visible deltoid on his left arm. Russel is easily the most handsome man on Ballard Street.
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Jan 20, 2014 17:20
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Killjoy Comix was here. Pooch Café  I've seen that done with pancakes, you put a little batter in a squeeze bottle and draw it on the pan a few minutes before you pour the rest out, and you end up with a little happy face scorched into it. For burger patties you'd need a sausage gun. Ballard Street  She's weighing you down, Arthur! Cut the line!
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Jan 21, 2014 17:43
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I'm running behind and I don't have time to think of a good title, so four out of six is enough to call these Dog Comix. Pooch Café    Poncho doesn't actually know anything about tracking, and I think he might be mistaking mailmen for elephants in that last comic, but Hudson doesn't know enough to argue about it. Ballard Street    poo poo, I should have called these Shade Comix or something.
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Jan 24, 2014 17:53
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Okay, Foxy Grandpa is just being mean now. The boys wanted to do something nice for a change, and all their grandfather can think to do is upstage them. No wonder they resent Little Brother so much. Walking Alone Comix. Pooch Café  Going Rogue, by Other Mailman Ballard Street  Yeah, you're pissy about it now, but when the house floods, Clark's going to have the only dry feet and the only bailing implements. He holds all the cards!
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Jan 25, 2014 21:08
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Green Intern posted:This strip is so hamfisted with its dangling plot-threads and twists. It's a nuke. The pig is Russia, the tiger is China, and the dragon is America. The pig didn't make it into Bone books, but the tiger and dragon still personify the cold war, it's just more subtle.
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Jan 26, 2014 23:34
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Mordor, dude. Duh. Edit: Hamfisted Visual Metaphor Comic  Fish status: still a ball of pent-up emotions and powerless frustration. flavor.flv fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Jan 26, 2014 |
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Jan 26, 2014 23:48
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Don't change the thread title. An expression of love is better than an expression of sadness. Out of respect, I'm not going to segue that sentence into Dog Comix. Pooch Café  Where did this mailbox come from that can fit two fully-grown terriers side by side? They're relatively small dogs, but I've never seen a mailbox that had more than a cubic foot of space, tops. Ballard Street  I believe this is a colouring mistake and the dog is sticking his tongue out. I believe this with all my heart.
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Jan 27, 2014 16:57
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So Foxy Grandpa tricked The Boys into thinking he was in the kitchen so he could surprise them by actually being in the kitchen?
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Jan 27, 2014 21:32
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Communication Breakdown Comix, it's always the same. Pooch Café  Ah, I see Paul subscribes to the Sergio Leone philosophy that the characters can only see what the audience sees. Logically Poncho should have seen that thing coming a ways back since they've both been walking right towards it, but it hasn't been in shot until now. It effectively did not exist. Ballard Street  Nobody actually wants to communicate with Uncle Archie. His system works. flavor.flv fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Jan 28, 2014 |
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Jan 28, 2014 18:59
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EDIT: ^ aw yeah, posting bros This is the closest Cathy ever came to being funny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbCT5fXdhhc You know what's always funny, though? Dorgs n Snow Comix! Pooch Café   Now he's riding Hudson like a tauntaun. This is definitely working up to slicing him open and crawling inside him for warmth. Ballard Street   This is the first time I've ever seen snow on Ballard Street. Normally the weather calls for button-up short sleeves and trousers worn up to the ribs.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:26
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That kind of rigid, utilitarian thinking is the enemy of creativity. Why can't you just appreciate a window-mounted spatulight semiwood armature for what it is? Randy does.
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Jan 30, 2014 22:08
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Julet Esqu posted:Pros & Cons The voice in my head sounds a lot like Detective DeFoe too, assuming he sounds exactly like Patrick Warburton, which obviously he does. Rip Haywire sounds like Jon Benjamin.
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Jan 31, 2014 04:26
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Indolent Bastard posted:Mike du Jour[/b] THERE IT IS, FOLKS. THERE'S THE PUNCHLINE. A WHOLE WEEK OF THIS GARBAGE FOR A PUN SO LAZY AND lovely A NARCOLEPTIC PIG WOULD TELL IT TO GET ITS ACT TOGETHER. A JOKE SO WEAK ANDY DICK SPOTS IT AT THE GYM. A CAREER IN THE PRINTING INDUSTRY SO REPUGNANT AND SHAMEFUL IT GOT FIVE REUBEN AWARDS AND PULITZER NOMINATION AAAAAAAAHHHHH What I'm saying is I hope Mike Lester Drinks Himself to Death Comix. Pooch Café  HP Lovecraft once wrote that the most merciful thing in the world was the inability of the mind to correlate all its contents. Poncho has just caught a glimpse of a bigger picture than he should have ever seen. A loudmouthed terrier is suddenly aware of a world filled with mailmen, and his mind is breaking. Ballard Street  gently caress it, it's Friday. Do it, Arthur. I am.
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Jan 31, 2014 17:24
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GorfZaplen posted:The Phantom Okay, he's definitely just making stuff up now. In fact, I bet that's his whole trick. He's going to make more and more outlandish claims until she goes home to write a story about how everybody should stay out of the Deep Woods unless they want to run into a village of total jerks who will go to great lengths to mess with tourists.
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Jan 31, 2014 18:04
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Or it was the syndicate colourist that decided to make him ginger against the original intention and shading all his hair in is the only way the artist can get him to stop. I went back a few sundays, and his hair's dark in those. There's a weird hierarchy in newspaper comics, the whole industry could use some Introspection Comix. Pooch Café  Wherein the white dog wants to leave a man to die. Ballard Street  All patterns are inherently mathematically interesting. If you were to find one that was not, it would become so by virtue of being so rare. flavor.flv fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Feb 1, 2014 |
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Feb 1, 2014 15:32
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Achievement Comix.  Oh now how the hell are they supposed to get an unconscious body onto a moving train? He's got to weigh ten times dry what the two of them weigh together soaking wet. I'm with Poncho. Groan. Ballard Street  Here's to life. Let's drink until our hearts stop.
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Feb 3, 2014 18:54
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Depressed? Drowsy? Drag the duvet down from the divan and dive into Deadweight Dog Comix! Pooch Café  Poncho and Hudson eventually realise their mistake, but they decide to just keep a boot each and never tell anybody what happened. Story over! Ballard Street  Russel is sharing one of his shoes with the dog.
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Feb 4, 2014 17:41
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My Lovely Horse posted:Some of those recipes are very slightly on the semi-homemade side of things. Like this one: The point of the strip is to provide simple recipes that anybody at home can make themselves. You start telling people how to make a roux and you're going to wind up with something I wouldn't feed to Stupid Dog Comix. Pooch Café    Ballard Street   Let's give a big hand to guest writer Charles Boyce!
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Feb 6, 2014 18:49
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Some Guy TT posted:The Duplex I don't know what makes me angrier, the fact that Mike Du Jour ripped this off so blatantly, or that there are two comics this loving terrible. Horse's rear end Comix. Pooch Café  Cue tense piano music being played on a scratchy victrola! Ballard Street  I know I've made jokes about this before, but there is no way in hell this isn't a weird sex thing.
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Feb 7, 2014 18:00
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Words change meaning over time, and it's silly to read anything more into it than that. But when you're loving around with conjugation just so you can use 'Gay' one more time as a noun, I'm going to assume you're a time traveler trying to gently caress with people. Like that Batman comic about Joker's giant boner.
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Feb 7, 2014 19:09
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BlankIsBeautiful posted:Heavenly Nostrils Now I have The Last Unicorn stuck in my head, but with all the lyrics replaced with the word 'unicorn.' I tried to get it out by busting out the axe (ukulele) and playing through a cover of Walking in Memphis I've been working on, and now the same thing is happening with that. I have to stop before I forget the lyrics to everything. Just Digging Yourself Deeper Comix. Pooch Café  Aw, they're so proud of themselves. Nobody tell them he's already dead. Ballard Street  Golf comics? Really? You're better than that, Jerry. Of course, Ballard Street is probably the one strip in the papers where every character could realistically be depicted as an avid golfer.
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Feb 8, 2014 17:44
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Feb 10, 2014 18:41
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Also, Dog Comix.  Bindle. It's called a bindle. Some Guy TT posted:F-Minus Good for you, Past Tony Carillo! Men should be able to wear dresses without having some ulterior sex motives because dresses are pretty and comfortable! Ballard Street  Current Tony Ballardstreet makes the mistake of thinking we live in an enlightened society where he will not be considered at best a lesser man and at worst an insane pervert because he dared to abase himself with things meant for a woman.
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Feb 10, 2014 21:05
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These are comics produced by an irrational mind. They are Irrational Mind Comix. Pooch Café  I hope Zed sticks around long enough to bark out some old-timey hobo lingo, but I'm worried these bakehead sweetbacks will grab too much scenery and get them all sloughed by the bulls. Ballard Street  This is how I feel about the bo jigger right now. If I can't stop talking west I'm liable to end up spearing biscuits in the jungle without even the makins to twist a dream.
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Feb 11, 2014 19:53
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Oh man, this is awkward. I haven't actually gotten around to posting those Shiftless Layabout Dog Comix yet. Pooch Café   Oh man, Ol' 'Bo Zed has a mysterious past! There's some sort of training/train pun coming, I can feel it. Ballard Street   The dog is just sad to see him stuck inside the car with the windows rolled up. He's been there.
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Feb 13, 2014 19:24
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