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Slow roasted armadillo foreskins served in a Guy Fieri Bodily Fluid reduction and with a side of carmelized regurgitated chicken bones that some guy almost choked on.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:19
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i bet George foreman could beat the poo poo out of Guy then grill the fat out of his face
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Feb 4, 2014 19:20
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Habanero-infused Durian with a Zesty Black Licorice and Krab Dip Tureen
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Feb 4, 2014 19:21
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Guy's kickin rad egg salad sandwich A random number of overdone hard boiled crows eggs covered in a special Jack Daniels sweet Thai spicy mayo reduction. Topped with the clippings of the bi-monthly restaurant landscaping. Served with a side of deep fried skin of questionable origin and a tall glass of pickling juice. Served out of the old foil used to color Guy's hair.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:21
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science hasn't found a name for these things yet, but we've been catching them in the East River for years. As you bite into this mysterious creature -or- possibly egg-sack you may experience ear piercing screams and nosebleeds, but that's just its natural defense mechanism. Served atop a John Wayne commemorative plate with a side of cajun ninja fries $30
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Feb 4, 2014 19:23
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seventeen pounds of gold lamè, gently incinerated and funneled into your face through Guy's special Badical Nasal Intubation System. served to the dulcet tones of brokencyde.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:23
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Vegetarian option: Sysco bagged lettuce, arranged on a plate to spell out the word "human being Get Out" -$45
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Feb 4, 2014 19:24
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Radio Help posted:Vegetarian option: Sysco bagged lettuce, arranged on a plate to spell out the word "human being Get Out"
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Feb 4, 2014 19:26
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a big pile of generic meat. try to guess what animal it's from; the answer may shock you.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:27
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for dessert, three ragged men wearing long, dark coats and gas masks will silently arrive at your table. when you finish with your meal, they will lead you through strange grey lands where unknown constellations cast themselves across the sky and clocks run backwards to flavortown, where death holds reign. there, you will sit upon a throne of ash and join the feast of the lost and forgotten forever.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:27
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two pounds of raw beef between two guy's big bun topped with green ketchup fried inside a white plastic bag
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Feb 4, 2014 19:28
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 This is an actual menu item at one of the restaurants Guy Fierri is affiliated with
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Feb 4, 2014 19:29
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Seasonal selection - Most Dangerous Gameday Platter Guy and his rich friends turn you loose on a deserted tropical island, granting you a two day head start before hunting you down like feral swine. your heads will adorn Guy's study, above the authentic old world hearth. choose one material for mounting plaque: cherry ($150), oak ($300), redwood (MP)
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Feb 4, 2014 19:30
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SirDan3k posted:A length of steel pipe and guy tied to a chair for five minutes, garnished with can of diesel and served with a book of matches on the side. I can't think of anyone in the world I'd like to microwave as much as Guy.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:33
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http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/
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Feb 4, 2014 19:35
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it would take an entire family just to eat guy's balls
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Feb 4, 2014 19:37
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I remember when this got really popular and then weird twitter got mad because every single one of those items is stolen from weird twitter
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Feb 4, 2014 19:37
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Guy's famous kicked up Pot Pie is mounds of flavor-drenched sriracha-marinated styrofoam cooler chunks and rusted beer can pull-tabs swimming in Donkey Gravy baked in an old Sanka can, topped with a fluffy pastry of Greyhound bus station toilet paper.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:38
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You hear it before you see it. A rattletrap 1985 Pontiac Fiero belching greasy smoke and shedding rusted body panels pulls up to your table. Imagine the look of surprise and confusion on your face. This isn't what I ordered. Where's my chillicheesburger? Well you should be worried friend because Jean Claude Van Damme is stepping out of that car and launching his meanest roundhouse kick directly at your genitals. Recommended pairing with Yellowtail Cabernet. $200 (requires 24 hours advance notice)
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Feb 4, 2014 19:40
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buttered planks of oak wood topped with fried nails swimming in thousand islands dressing mixed with hawaiian grease ranch served on top of a rusted world war 2 jeep
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Feb 4, 2014 19:42
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who wants to tackle Guy's Big Balls together
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Feb 4, 2014 19:44
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there was a picture of guy's big balls on twitter and they were actually the size of quarters or so. what a rip off
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Feb 4, 2014 19:44
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Three Ego frozen waffles that a line of dogs from the local pound do a butt-scoot across to the tune of an Avici/Macarena mashup; served by a waiter with down syndrome who will spoon feed it to you with a neon-pink slurpee straw spoon.
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Feb 4, 2014 19:50
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a small room with faded carpet and stained, peeling wallpaper. facing the wall is a simple wooden desk and chair. upon the desk is a revolver loaded with a single bullet. we have given you all the answers you need. -$18 (tuscan bacon srichacha dippin' sauce $5 extra)
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Feb 4, 2014 19:53
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a frogdog
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Feb 4, 2014 19:54
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Kickin Cuban Melt-anschuuang, $24 a temporary diversion from the aching sense of wrongness that suffuses your life. did your daughter move to SF with a lady who is into scarification because you didn't buy her that pony she wanted when she was five. who is this stranger that stares back at you from the mirror with dead cowlike eyes. will it hurt to die. why are we granted youthful days of endless summer and possibility when we are doomed to become gray dull things shuffling through a gray dull world. comes with a side of fries and Guy's House Onion Dressing
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Feb 4, 2014 20:01
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a cabbage patch doll with a deep tan and cornrows marinated in karo corn syrup stuffed inside a turducken glazed with 10w30 motor oil and served with a side of carp mud vein spaghetti with chicken gizzard meatballs
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Feb 4, 2014 20:01
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5 pounds of aged squirrel meat in a anime girlfriend pillowcase w/ just a touch of meadowlark lemon's aura
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Feb 4, 2014 20:07
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Shrimp "vein" tartare...or maybe that's squid ink angel hair pasta, we're not really sure so we're passing the savings on to you. Lunch portion $45, Dinner portion ($52) comes with a side of Guy's Cheezy-Oniony-Band Aidy garlic bread and Guy's signature Cobra Venom Bloody Mary Gelato.
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Feb 4, 2014 20:15
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Fresh eucalyptus bark sauteed in cajun-style vitreous humour before being smothered in a reduction of non-newtonian vampire blood and topped with a scoop of praline ice cream. Comes with fries or garlic bacon loaded smashed potatoes.
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Feb 4, 2014 20:17
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sizzlin southwestern steak served with pico de gallo and soggy fries covered in chipotle mayo stolen from the servers second job at subway, garnished with 2 lit sparklers embedded into the side of the sad limp paper plate it's served on pairs perfectly with "gays are icky" macho mojito
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Feb 4, 2014 20:18
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Guy's Famous Slammin' Ennui Wrap- A half a dill pickle, a faded hallmark card and a lock of your ex's hair lightly coated in Guy's Sad Sack Clam Sauce and wrapped in your high school diploma. Complete your meal with an order of cinnamon dusted tire iron churros with bourbon-antifreeze dipping sauce.
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Feb 4, 2014 20:24
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This one's got a little heat in it! All you can eat pickled and oiled sheet metal with molten steel dipping sauce.
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Feb 4, 2014 20:27
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An Apology for Burgers forget what you know about ground round! this realignment in your conception of the burg starts with a flight of premium khat grown on Guy's very own Eritrean plantation. then take up a complimentary machete and slaughter the bullock of your choice while enjoying a remix of Mezzanine by David Guetta and Scott Storch. hold aloft the beef heart while screaming praise to the most high.
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Feb 4, 2014 20:40
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Guy's Smokin' Smegma Sliders Hold onto year butts, because these mini-burgs pack a punch! Starting with green, diseased beef ground in-house by a ball of concertina wire wrapped around the driveshaft of a rusty two-stroke scooter engine. Slathered with Guy's Poor Hygiene Hickory BBQ Sauce and topped with onion straws. Served on mini-brioche buns. $16 and a kick straight to the beanbag
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Feb 4, 2014 22:20
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SpicyMeatSandwich posted:Dipped in Donkey Sawce bitch i really want to eat this in a way that isnt ironic
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Feb 4, 2014 22:28
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Tears of the Dragon Ready for something different? Just call ahead (at least an hour's notice please!) and shortly after you're seated Guy himself will come sit at your table. On cue, each person in your party will hold up one of guy's famous Donkey Mirrors(TM) so Guy can see his reflection. Faced with the stark realization of who and what he is, Guy will sob uncontrollably for 20 minutes. We'll collect his tears, mix them with Donkey Sauce and the blood of a virgin and bring them out in shot glasses for the table! Guaranteed to give you a small portion of Guy's life force and turn your hair fractionally more platinum.
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Feb 4, 2014 22:34
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fonducci posted:a cabbage patch doll with a deep tan and cornrows marinated in karo corn syrup stuffed inside a turducken glazed with 10w30 motor oil and served with a side of carp mud vein spaghetti with chicken gizzard meatballs Tempus Fugit posted:Guy's Famous Slammin' Ennui Wrap- Harry in Rio posted:5 pounds of aged squirrel meat in a anime girlfriend pillowcase w/ just a touch of meadowlark lemon's aura Seoinin posted:An Apology for Burgers All of these are so great.
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Feb 4, 2014 22:55
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can yall hear me out there? it's ALL hosed up now WAMMA DO NOW?? it's ALL hosed up!
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Feb 4, 2014 22:58
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The brain of a convicted murderer executed via lethal injection, served while still in the dead murderer's severed head, which is presented on a Rick Perry commemorative plate.
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Feb 4, 2014 23:01
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