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Un chien andalou
Oct 22, 2008

The pipe is leaking
Slow roasted armadillo foreskins served in a Guy Fieri Bodily Fluid reduction and with a side of carmelized regurgitated chicken bones that some guy almost choked on.

:page3:

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Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
i bet George foreman could beat the poo poo out of Guy then grill the fat out of his face

Radio Help
Mar 22, 2007

ChipChip? 
Habanero-infused Durian with a Zesty Black Licorice and Krab Dip Tureen

The BLT
Jan 3, 2008
Do you know the sandwhich man?
Guy's kickin rad egg salad sandwich

A random number of overdone hard boiled crows eggs covered in a special Jack Daniels sweet Thai spicy mayo reduction. Topped with the clippings of the bi-monthly restaurant landscaping. Served with a side of deep fried skin of questionable origin and a tall glass of pickling juice.
Served out of the old foil used to color Guy's hair.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
science hasn't found a name for these things yet, but we've been catching them in the East River for years. As you bite into this mysterious creature -or- possibly egg-sack you may experience ear piercing screams and nosebleeds, but that's just its natural defense mechanism.

Served atop a John Wayne commemorative plate with a side of cajun ninja fries $30

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
seventeen pounds of gold lamè, gently incinerated and funneled into your face through Guy's special Badical Nasal Intubation System. served to the dulcet tones of brokencyde.

Radio Help
Mar 22, 2007

ChipChip? 
Vegetarian option: Sysco bagged lettuce, arranged on a plate to spell out the word "human being Get Out"
-$45

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Radio Help posted:

Vegetarian option: Sysco bagged lettuce, arranged on a plate to spell out the word "human being Get Out"
-$45

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
a big pile of generic meat. try to guess what animal it's from; the answer may shock you.

Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.
for dessert, three ragged men wearing long, dark coats and gas masks will silently arrive at your table. when you finish with your meal, they will lead you through strange grey lands where unknown constellations cast themselves across the sky and clocks run backwards to flavortown, where death holds reign. there, you will sit upon a throne of ash and join the feast of the lost and forgotten forever.

stoutfish
Oct 8, 2012

by zen death robot
two pounds of raw beef between two guy's big bun topped with green ketchup fried inside a white plastic bag

Radio Help
Mar 22, 2007

ChipChip? 


This is an actual menu item at one of the restaurants Guy Fierri is affiliated with

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
Seasonal selection - Most Dangerous Gameday Platter

Guy and his rich friends turn you loose on a deserted tropical island, granting you a two day head start before hunting you down like feral swine. your heads will adorn Guy's study, above the authentic old world hearth. choose one material for mounting plaque: cherry ($150), oak ($300), redwood (MP)

Risky
May 18, 2003

SirDan3k posted:

A length of steel pipe and guy tied to a chair for five minutes, garnished with can of diesel and served with a book of matches on the side.

I can't think of anyone in the world I'd like to microwave as much as Guy.

ApexAftermath
May 24, 2006

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
it would take an entire family just to eat guy's balls

A Keg
Jan 7, 2014

by Ralp

I remember when this got really popular and then weird twitter got mad because every single one of those items is stolen from weird twitter

Tempus Fugit
Jan 31, 2008

Guy's famous kicked up Pot Pie is mounds of flavor-drenched sriracha-marinated styrofoam cooler chunks and rusted beer can pull-tabs swimming in Donkey Gravy baked in an old Sanka can, topped with a fluffy pastry of Greyhound bus station toilet paper.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
You hear it before you see it. A rattletrap 1985 Pontiac Fiero belching greasy smoke and shedding rusted body panels pulls up to your table. Imagine the look of surprise and confusion on your face. This isn't what I ordered. Where's my chillicheesburger? Well you should be worried friend because Jean Claude Van Damme is stepping out of that car and launching his meanest roundhouse kick directly at your genitals. Recommended pairing with Yellowtail Cabernet.

$200 (requires 24 hours advance notice)

stoutfish
Oct 8, 2012

by zen death robot
buttered planks of oak wood topped with fried nails swimming in thousand islands dressing mixed with hawaiian grease ranch served on top of a rusted world war 2 jeep

Putty
Mar 21, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
who wants to tackle Guy's Big Balls together

stoutfish
Oct 8, 2012

by zen death robot
there was a picture of guy's big balls on twitter and they were actually the size of quarters or so.

what a rip off

poopinmymouth
Mar 2, 2005

PROUD 2 B AMERICAN (these colors don't run)
Three Ego frozen waffles that a line of dogs from the local pound do a butt-scoot across to the tune of an Avici/Macarena mashup; served by a waiter with down syndrome who will spoon feed it to you with a neon-pink slurpee straw spoon.

Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.
a small room with faded carpet and stained, peeling wallpaper. facing the wall is a simple wooden desk and chair. upon the desk is a revolver loaded with a single bullet. we have given you all the answers you need.

-$18

(tuscan bacon srichacha dippin' sauce $5 extra)

A Keg
Jan 7, 2014

by Ralp
a frogdog

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
Kickin Cuban Melt-anschuuang, $24

a temporary diversion from the aching sense of wrongness that suffuses your life. did your daughter move to SF with a lady who is into scarification because you didn't buy her that pony she wanted when she was five. who is this stranger that stares back at you from the mirror with dead cowlike eyes. will it hurt to die. why are we granted youthful days of endless summer and possibility when we are doomed to become gray dull things shuffling through a gray dull world.

comes with a side of fries and Guy's House Onion Dressing

fonducci
Feb 5, 2007
"The other white meat"
a cabbage patch doll with a deep tan and cornrows marinated in karo corn syrup stuffed inside a turducken glazed with 10w30 motor oil and served with a side of carp mud vein spaghetti with chicken gizzard meatballs

Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY
5 pounds of aged squirrel meat in a anime girlfriend pillowcase w/ just a touch of meadowlark lemon's aura

Tempus Fugit
Jan 31, 2008

Shrimp "vein" tartare...or maybe that's squid ink angel hair pasta, we're not really sure so we're passing the savings on to you. Lunch portion $45, Dinner portion ($52) comes with a side of Guy's Cheezy-Oniony-Band Aidy garlic bread and Guy's signature Cobra Venom Bloody Mary Gelato.

Boombox Jackson
Nov 3, 2008
Fresh eucalyptus bark sauteed in cajun-style vitreous humour before being smothered in a reduction of non-newtonian vampire blood and topped with a scoop of praline ice cream. Comes with fries or garlic bacon loaded smashed potatoes.

stimulated emission
Apr 25, 2011

D-D-D-D-D-D-DEEPER
sizzlin southwestern steak served with pico de gallo and soggy fries covered in chipotle mayo stolen from the servers second job at subway, garnished with 2 lit sparklers embedded into the side of the sad limp paper plate it's served on

pairs perfectly with "gays are icky" macho mojito

Tempus Fugit
Jan 31, 2008

Guy's Famous Slammin' Ennui Wrap-
A half a dill pickle, a faded hallmark card and a lock of your ex's hair lightly coated in Guy's Sad Sack Clam Sauce and wrapped in your high school diploma. Complete your meal with an order of cinnamon dusted tire iron churros with bourbon-antifreeze dipping sauce.

panascope
Mar 26, 2005

This one's got a little heat in it! All you can eat pickled and oiled sheet metal with molten steel dipping sauce.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
An Apology for Burgers

forget what you know about ground round! this realignment in your conception of the burg starts with a flight of premium khat grown on Guy's very own Eritrean plantation. then take up a complimentary machete and slaughter the bullock of your choice while enjoying a remix of Mezzanine by David Guetta and Scott Storch. hold aloft the beef heart while screaming praise to the most high.

Cannonballoon
Jul 25, 2007

Guy's Smokin' Smegma Sliders

Hold onto year butts, because these mini-burgs pack a punch! Starting with green, diseased beef ground in-house by a ball of concertina wire wrapped around the driveshaft of a rusty two-stroke scooter engine. Slathered with Guy's Poor Hygiene Hickory BBQ Sauce and topped with onion straws. Served on mini-brioche buns.

$16 and a kick straight to the beanbag

minus world
Sep 23, 2009

"good poster"

SpicyMeatSandwich posted:

Dipped in Donkey Sawce bitch



Welcome to fuckin' Flavorton

i really want to eat this in a way that isnt ironic

Tempus Fugit
Jan 31, 2008

Tears of the Dragon

Ready for something different? Just call ahead (at least an hour's notice please!) and shortly after you're seated Guy himself will come sit at your table. On cue, each person in your party will hold up one of guy's famous Donkey Mirrors(TM) so Guy can see his reflection. Faced with the stark realization of who and what he is, Guy will sob uncontrollably for 20 minutes. We'll collect his tears, mix them with Donkey Sauce and the blood of a virgin and bring them out in shot glasses for the table! Guaranteed to give you a small portion of Guy's life force and turn your hair fractionally more platinum.

poopinmymouth
Mar 2, 2005

PROUD 2 B AMERICAN (these colors don't run)

fonducci posted:

a cabbage patch doll with a deep tan and cornrows marinated in karo corn syrup stuffed inside a turducken glazed with 10w30 motor oil and served with a side of carp mud vein spaghetti with chicken gizzard meatballs


Tempus Fugit posted:

Guy's Famous Slammin' Ennui Wrap-
A half a dill pickle, a faded hallmark card and a lock of your ex's hair lightly coated in Guy's Sad Sack Clam Sauce and wrapped in your high school diploma. Complete your meal with an order of cinnamon dusted tire iron churros with bourbon-antifreeze dipping sauce.

Harry in Rio posted:

5 pounds of aged squirrel meat in a anime girlfriend pillowcase w/ just a touch of meadowlark lemon's aura

Seoinin posted:

An Apology for Burgers

forget what you know about ground round! this realignment in your conception of the burg starts with a flight of premium khat grown on Guy's very own Eritrean plantation. then take up a complimentary machete and slaughter the bullock of your choice while enjoying a remix of Mezzanine by David Guetta and Scott Storch. hold aloft the beef heart while screaming praise to the most high.

All of these are so great.

rand
Apr 26, 2003
can yall hear me out there?



it's ALL hosed up now


WAMMA DO NOW??

it's ALL hosed up!

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Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
The brain of a convicted murderer executed via lethal injection, served while still in the dead murderer's severed head, which is presented on a Rick Perry commemorative plate.

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