blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

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during which ancient egyptian month will blackberry die?
	thout
	paopi
	hathor
	koiak
	tobi
	meshir
	paremhat
	paremoude
	pashons
	paoni
	epip
	mesori
	gasthred
	banop
	RIM'S GONNA KEEP GOING BABY!!!

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lmfao some verizon cell phone kiosk guy got busted for fiddling with the inventory system and selling the diverted phones on ebay for $270,000. what gave him away? well...

quote:

Verizon Wireless employee stole 900 phones, made $270,000 profit on eBay
Jail sentence for salesperson who manipulated Verizon database to conceal fraud.

by Jon Brodkin - June 27 2014, 8:13am PDT

A Verizon Wireless account executive who pleaded guilty to stealing more than 900 cell phones and selling them on eBay for a profit of $272,290 was sentenced this week to 27 months in prison.

James Hopkins, 35, committed the fraud throughout most of 2009 while working as a business-to-business account executive at a Verizon Wireless branch office in Trevose, PA, according to a criminal complaint. He was charged with mail fraud and sentenced in US District Court in New Jersey, where Verizon is based.

"From February through November 2009, Hopkins placed numerous orders for Verizon Wireless cellular telephones, handheld devices and accessories in the names of existing Verizon Wireless customers without their knowledge," the US Attorney's office in New Jersey wrote in an announcement. "After arranging for the merchandise to be shipped to the home of a relative in New Jersey, the defendant manipulated Verizon�s computer database to conceal the fraudulent orders and shipments. Hopkins received $328,517 worth of stolen Verizon Wireless merchandise, which he sold on eBay for a profit of $272,290." That amounts to a profit of about $300 for each stolen phone.

Hopkins' scheme was uncovered by the US Postal Inspection Service after a shipment of eight BlackBerry phones in October 2009.

"In addition to the prison term, Judge [William H.] Walls sentenced Hopkins to serve two years of supervised release, ordered him to pay $303,623 in restitution, and forfeit $272,290," the announcement said. Special conditions including mental health treatment, debt restrictions, and occupational restrictions were also imposed.

thats right he ordered 8 bbry phones and alarm bells went off because theres no legitimate reason for anyone to ever order eight bbry phones

# ¿ Jun 27, 2014 20:05

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 21:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

why is her logo an anus?

because she likes it in the butt, duh

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 14:46

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

now explain the mask

it hides her shame (that shes a dirty little anal whore)

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 14:48

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

there ain't no shame in that

not everybody deals with it as well as you do :shobon:

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 15:16

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

pram posted:

lols beyond my wildest dreams

i just want to know the decisionmaking process that went in to putting their flagship first deluxe retail store just outside of...Detroit

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 15:19

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Bonzo posted:

so apple just posted 7.7 billion in profit

how much did the stock fall by?

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 21:45

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Scott Forstall posted:

they beat projections for revenue, EPS, and gross margin, but Apple didn't release a watch last month so they're already dead. hth

completely destroyed by galaxy gear and android wear

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 22:11

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

that post was the sum total of activity on the bb thread in iyg for the last six weeks

# ¿ Aug 14, 2014 14:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

quote:

RIM had a complete internal panic when Apple unveiled the iPhone in 2007, a former employee revealed this weekend. The BlackBerry maker is now known to have held multiple all-hands meetings on January 10 that year, a day after the iPhone was on stage, and to have made outlandish claims about its features. Apple was effectively accused of lying as it was supposedly impossible that a device could have such a large touchscreen but still get a usable lifespan away from a power outlet.

The iPhone �couldn�t do what [Apple was] demonstrating without an insanely power hungry processor, it must have terrible battery life,� Shacknews poster Kentor heard from his former colleagues of the time. �Imagine their surprise [at RIM] when they disassembled an iPhone for the first time and found that the phone was battery with a tiny logic board strapped to it.�

# ¿ Sep 17, 2014 16:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

basically a good way of identifying shitlords with no taste who make poor purchasing decisions and are ripe for bilking.

i thought that was the little grenade logo next to their forums name

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 00:14

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Wow...... Engajet won't show you that the battery on the Passport is superior to the battery on the iPhone 6 Plus, much less, the iPhone 6 that Apple won't even tell you what the mAh is ....

Very telling, indeed.... Gotta love the "Apple Hype Apologist Machine"...

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 21:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

minivanmegafun posted:

so does anyone even have blackberrys on display anymore? when the new square berry is out will I be able to visit the AT&T store in my office building and go lmao at it?

i was stuck in verizon store lsat week and did notice a q10 on display

it was powered on and showing the intended demo reel, so points for that i guess

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 00:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

joanna is the best

# ¿ Sep 24, 2014 20:12

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Blackula69 posted:

she just married her girlfriend too. :3:

mazel tov!

# ¿ Sep 25, 2014 16:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Typical MSM review of a BB technology. Apple can put cow dung in a box and said reviewer will be declaiming its cutting edge technology and 'cool' factor. I bought a Passport. Blows iphone and android away and is easily the best phone I have used. In fact ms reviewer the PP is a Phablet - meaning it is supposed to be larger than your little iphone 4 and the target market are high end professionals who use a lot of data, files, or need a productivity tool. Not housemoms and teenies who cling to their Apple bibles. Male professionals will love the PP. Females interested in 'chatting', snapchatting, and pretty colors will stay with their bendable iphones. Media is so far in the bag for Apple it is embarrassing.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2014 17:38

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

"Falls short." "Behind." "Last gasp." "Clunky." "Outdated."

Whatever. I woke up at 5:45am PT to see the live stream, and I'm more than excited for this device. You guys can keep covering your screens with cheese, while I enjoy the best mobile experience available.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2014 17:42

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

uninterrupted posted:

irony is dead, so on and so forth

that whole article is a treat from the opening sentence

quote:

Amidst the iCloud hacking scandal, the iPhone 6 Bluetooth connectivity issue with cars, Apple pulling back its faulty software update which left phones unusable, the iPhone 6 Plus device bending under pressure, a rather nasty bug that exposed yet another major Apple security flaw with their HealthKit apps, and the U2 album that was invasively installed in everyone�s iCloud account without anyone�s permission, the BlackBerry Passport still managed to receive the most criticism and mockery from, what seems to be, an Apple/Android �zombified� media.

finally, someone willing to point to the flaming corpse of apples credibility in the wake of the iphone 6 bluetooth car connectivity scandal

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 17:45

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

poty posted:

and im a straight man

whats up girl

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 18:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

there was a period around 2006-2008 when bbry was the accessory of choice for celebrities. qwerty keyboard + rly good messenger + decent hardware design (compared to poo poo like winphone treos and the motorola q) made it the thing to be seen holding or pecking away at. when paris hiltons phone got hacked, it was a blackberry. once the iphone hit 3gs and got some apps and wasnt only available on a single overloaded network that changed but at the peak of its powers bbry was a desirable fashion brand

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 12:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Cocoa Crispies posted:

sidekick, actually

i withdraw my previous statements

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 16:13

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

yeah sidekicks were cool because they were texting machines with a full keyboard (and I think unlimited texts), and they also saved your pictures in the cloud.

then sidekick was acquired by Microsoft and all of the good people immediately left and formed a company called android

but the people who stayed behind were driven by superstar executive roz ho to build such amazing hardware as the microsoft kin 1 and microsoft kin 2

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 16:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

bbry is gonna party like its 2006!

latest and greatest new phone from those innovators in waterloo

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 18:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kenny Logins posted:

can't wait for the joanna stern review

ha ha the comments on her review were the best

so many angry bbry fans furious about the "unprofessionalism" and dragging out their big bag of sexist putdowns

jo stern owns

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 19:11

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kenny Logins posted:

agreed. angry bb fans are so loving square, the comments are just variations on "well i never" and "non-technical women and children"

while you CRAPPLETARDS are playing with your TOYS i am GETTING WORK DONE on my PROFESSIONAL BUSINESS MACHINE

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 19:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

infernal machines posted:

also, tbf, the people who still want a BB want exactly that

true but thats by definition a shrinking dwindling market

maybe if they hang on long enough theyll have a second life as a nostalgia brand like harley davidson and those jukebox manufacturers

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 20:21

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kirk posted:

the dimension these guys live in must be so exciting

theyre leasing space from the comp.sys.amiga.advocacy crew

# ¿ Dec 17, 2014 20:46

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Blackula69 posted:

weird canadian thing

mods?

# ¿ Dec 18, 2014 19:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

very nice. should extend the law to force microsoft to make halo for the playstation, wii, and colecovision

# ¿ Jan 22, 2015 15:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

shyduck posted:

if you don't have a bbm pin you'll die a lonely nerd virgin

this checks out

...

:smith:

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 01:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

mishaq posted:

high enough to notice/care

getting high enough to not notice/care has been an ambition of mine since i was 12

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 21:16

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

read it (or at least read the second half), found it frustrating with its lack of analysis as to why rim kept making wrong moves. too busy getting in all the stuff the laserdilz and sillyballs told him (which was valuable and im glad he got those guys on the record for posterity) to really try and form an explanation as to why rim fell apart the way it did

a couple things i noticed

- holy shitballs was the storm a disaster, and entirely because laserdilz insisted that no one likes typing on plain flat glass

- their os was a disaster that was a decade old when the iphone started to bite and a complete mash of spaghetti java code. apparently there was no long term roadmap or plan for the os other than adding new features to it every year. id liken it to apple pushing macos7 out there to face win3 and win95 and win 98 except apple at least was trying internally to improve the os (copland, pink, taligent, etc). nobody at rim considered moving off of java or maybe rearchitecting some things or planning for the day that someone might want more than once device bound to a single user id until it was far too late. just a spectacular lack of technical foresight

- given a last chance to impress verizon with a 4g phone laserdilz goes into their big yearly meeting and lectures them about how 4g is dumb and unnecessary and really theyre idiots if they build out 4g towers and no we dont have any 4g phones to show you didnt i just get done explaining how dumb 4g was? note that this was after sticking verizon with the storm and storm 2 and with iphone and android devouring rims marketshare

- all those marketing things we made fun of in yospos (amateur hour is over, you should have waited, etc) were even more catastrophic behind the scenes

- pretty much everything you could imagine going wrong with an enterprise company pivoting to sell to consumers happened

- man who could have guessed that having a split corporate governance with two ceos would prove unworkable in the long run? it worked fine when rim was soaring, but when they hit a rough patch it turned into a total nightmare. over and over rim would bring in top dollar talent to fix things only to have them float in limbo and then quit because their authority was unclear and they werent sure who they were ultimately responsible to

- the contrast to jobs second tenure at apple was really striking

a solid read but very much as a long magazine article or "first draft of history" thing

# ¿ Jun 28, 2015 21:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

graph posted:

lol, good

sillyballs had given his marketing team no clear indication what the playbook was for (enterprise? personal use?) so they were staring at a blank whiteboard four weeks before the thing was supposed to launch

sillyballs did spend an entire day wandering around dublin with bono coming up with slogans like "blackberry loves u2" so that was something

# ¿ Jun 29, 2015 01:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

eric posted:

but it had FLASH! aaaaaaaahhh

not just flash (ah-ahhhhh!) but rim went with adobe air as the main development platform for the playbook. you know that platform with no marketshare and no developer community? yeah that one

which led to my favorite sentence in the book:

quote:

Soon after PlayBook launched, Adobe would drop support for AIR on mobile altogether.

the extent to which rim hosed itself out of business is really breathtaking

# ¿ Jun 29, 2015 07:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Skarp posted:

Happy Day Tomorrow!

# ¿ Jun 30, 2015 21:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

qnx is alive and well where it has always been, in cars and power plants and factories. it's BBOS10 that's dead.

i presume most or all of BBRYs value is because someday theyll sell qnx off for a couple of bllion dollars

# ¿ Aug 23, 2015 21:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

good technology

the most ironically named company on earth

and isnt good was a cobbled together bes wannabe that lets you manage non-bb phones like treos and winmobiles? at least thats what i remember from using it back in the mid-2000s

bb spending money to buy a bad clone of their own flagship product somehow makes perfect sense

# ¿ Sep 4, 2015 18:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Origin posted:

gently caress you verizon.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2015 15:27

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 21:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

the one they had certainly was

the one on the left likes it in the butt lol

# ¿ Oct 22, 2015 21:14

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

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