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sochi fourth rome
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Feb 5, 2014 18:23
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athletes competing in the biathlon are handed surplus AK47s by some nervous guy in a van.
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Feb 5, 2014 19:09
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Three Olives posted:So there is totally going to be at least an attempted terrorist attack on this thing, right? why bother
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Feb 5, 2014 19:19
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yep check us out, we're the dudes that bombed the olympics where the toilet seats were on backwards and people had drunk construction workers sleeping it off inside the walls in their hotel rooms
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Feb 5, 2014 19:20
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the winter groverlympics
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Feb 5, 2014 19:31
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@OlympianBob strange hairy man in bathroom, reading newspaper. has been there for 3 days. doesnt speak english & will not leave, only grunts. plz advise
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Feb 5, 2014 20:01
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"boris, dogs are back in 2319" "did last pay check bounce?" "yes" "well, dogs will stay in 2319 then I guess."
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Feb 5, 2014 20:14
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wild dogs sweep every event
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Feb 5, 2014 21:04
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Monkey Fracas posted:I am having fun imaging what the grounds will look like 1 month after the olympics are over all the buildings are prob suspiciously well insured and will all have burned down within a week of the events ending
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Feb 5, 2014 21:05
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CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:dont worry, the power outlet isnt live. its just glued on is cover nose of wild dog we hide in wall. ho ho little joke, wall dogs are all in basement.
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Feb 5, 2014 21:20
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*journo opens continental breakfast chafing dish* *wild dog lunges out*
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Feb 5, 2014 22:17
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t3h z0r posted:BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHMMMMMM the ukrainian athletes wake up, not remembering anything after getting that drink at the moscow airport, to find themselves sealed into 1x1 rooms with no doors
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Feb 5, 2014 22:22
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Fat Ogre posted:You know how on Hoarders the people who hoard poo poo can't see how terrible their house is. lot of them are probably super pissed because after the soviets keeled over people thought the west was gonna swoop in Truman style and help them and we were like, lmao no
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Feb 5, 2014 22:27
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ahaha yeah man I hate it when dudes just show up unannounced for the olympics. call ahead, motherfuckers.
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Feb 5, 2014 22:44
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the dogs knocked over the last pillow shipment. yergi we need to you make a break for the storehouse. we will be praying for you, son.
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Feb 5, 2014 22:47
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please to not poking tarp. thank.
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Feb 6, 2014 00:24
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Phy posted:Haha, very funny! Russia can take some ribbing, is all in good fun! meanwhile, off the aleutians, a russian submariner is trying to dislodge a nest of dogs from the missile tubes w/ a broom
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Feb 6, 2014 00:43
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ok we get wodka from stores, we put rag in wodka then light on fire and throw into tube. dogs go pfoom. problem solved.
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Feb 6, 2014 00:44
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is dogs in launch control too. told you should not have taken on supplies in sochi.
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Feb 6, 2014 00:52
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Caufman posted:Weapons free has been authorized, officers are now just waiting on promised delivery of bullet. @sochisec have two lightbulbs and shower curtain. will trade for 7.62x39 rounds.
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Feb 6, 2014 19:00
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Monkey Fracas posted:Russia has just been such a cartoonishly depressing and hosed up place for so long source of problem, we believe, related to having high concentrations of Russians living in country.
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Feb 6, 2014 19:40
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russia's been hosed up since the pre-christian days when the primary god they worshiped had to be placated with human sacrifice, not because he needed the blood to make the sun rise or do anything productive, but because if he wasn't kept happy he would get you
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Feb 6, 2014 19:42
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Monkey Fracas posted:Putin? first thing rurik rurikid saw when he got off the longboat was putin in a fur hat, smiling thinly
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Feb 6, 2014 20:01
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haha yes we find teensy hole in world geometry outside your hotel room. please have care when leaving, management takes no responsibility for eternal plunge into empty white void.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:39
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please no flush toilets on floors 5, 7, 19, and 23. may cause buffer overflow and replace sky with grass texture. need hard reboot to resolve, very expesnive.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:45
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Attention Sochi Patrons: bug in bill pay system has caused Olympic Grounds to revert to control of hostile dog faction. please use caution when leaving buildings. we roll out hotfix ASAP.
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Feb 6, 2014 20:56
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when comrade khrushchev was presented with the model future american kitchen during a trip to the us, he responded with "so do americans need special machines to push food down their throat or what"
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Feb 6, 2014 21:23
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The Taint Reaper posted:They're called forks and spoons. better than nixon's comeback: "well you're going to space but uh we have made great progress in color television"
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Feb 6, 2014 21:26
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bathroom cameras, for safety yes? we have top men on duty. very few sexual misconduct convictions.
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Feb 6, 2014 23:40
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ZombieReagan posted:this is two way mirror so we can make sure you put TOILET PAPER IN BIN NOT TOILET *intercom crackles* STALL SEVEN YOU FLUSH ONCE AND ONLY ONCE
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Feb 6, 2014 23:43
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lots of jovial good-times at putin world. for everyone, we have ways of making you have fun.
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Feb 7, 2014 00:03
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Feb 7, 2014 00:15
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Six-Of-Hearts posted:Real Talk: I stared at this for a good long while, and every time part of my brain reflexively tried to make sense of whats going on, some other part of my brain would cut it off from doing so. overland roads closed, wild dogs devour last three runners. we take sea route.
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Feb 7, 2014 00:24
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